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@caffedalmarewrites
Birth of a Wolf
by Caffedalmare
A tearful eye observed from the corner of the threshold his parents arguing once again. It was practically a daily routine whenever his father came home at night,
“Where ya been?” “What’s that smell on ya?” “Ya got a family to come home to ya know!”
It was how his mother would usually start the evening before dinner which is where the argument would end; at the dinner table it all seemed to flow back to normal. By the age of four, the young boy had learned this routine, but that night it seemed different and he didn’t like the feeling in his stomach.
“This ain’t the shit I want,” his father muttered while messily packing a suitcase over the bed. His mother was glaring intensely at the man,
“The fuck it ain’t!!” she replied and began to undo whatever he had placed in the bag, throwing his clothes all around their room.
“Dammit, Iliana!!” his father growled as he furiously picked up his clothes, “It’s done with, ok? Get it in ya head!!”
“It’s her, huh?” Iliana questioned more rhetorically than anything. Her eyes filled with hot tears that mirrored her observing son’s, “That rich slut bought ya, eh?! I knew ya were scum… I KNEW IT!!” she yelled and threw herself at him with a barrage of aimless but hard punches that were difficult to dodge.
“Shit!! Fuck!! Iliana stop it!!” the father said as he struggled to control her but her rage was untamable by then.
“How could you do this to me?! How could you do this?! Ya son of a bitch!! Ya son of a bitch!! I’ll kill ya!!! I’ll fuckin’ kill ya both!!!”
That was enough for the little boy and he left for his own room, leaving his parents with a blur of words and smacks behind.
In the privacy of his bedroom, the boy dropped onto his bed and began to cry hard into his pillow; why weren’t they like a normal family? Why couldn’t they have a single night of joy? Why wasn’t he enough? These were the thoughts of a tender boy that could not understand why there wasn’t happiness in his world.
Then a soft breeze entered through his window and caressed him, bringing his attention to the outside. Through sobs he looked between his door and the window and decided he didn’t want to be inside that war zone any longer. So he crawled out onto the emergency stairway and climbed until he was on the rooftop of the building. There he quickly cornered himself behind the building’s cooling system where it was shadowed and sat on the ground to hug his knees. He buried his face into his folded arms to continue with his sorrow, greatly desiring to disappear.
The night sky was darker due to rain clouds ready to drop their fill but as the breeze continued to softly blow it drifted a few apart, allowing the Moon to reveal herself and shine down. The child lifted his head from his now suffocating arms and let out a sobbing sigh realizing he was no longer in the shadows. It annoyed him, desiring nothing but darkness to consume him in that moment and looked up to the sky with a hateful scowl.
When puffy eyes locked on the silver orb in the sky he found himself unable to move his gaze away. Sobbing hiccups soon subsided and the salty pool over his eyes dried as a sudden soothing calm washed over him. His features and posture relaxed against the furnace as he continued to watch in silence the majestic splendor of the silver sphere.
Unbeknownst to the little boy was how the Moon had taken shape before him and was gently caressing his small tear stained cheek over and over. Just as the child was gazing at her she was starring back into his eyes and wondered what will become of this new child of the night. Though his eyes had the color of the ocean there was a building fire darkening them and she knew she had found another admirer to last her his lifetime, “Howl for me and I will soothe your pain. I will be your comforter, your lover, and your light when you cross your dark path, son of the night.”
The oath spoken in unheard words but engraved into the child’s heart was sealed with a gentle kiss on his forehead. Her form vanished as dark clouds hid her away and raindrops woke the boy from his mesmerized gaze. The rain forced the child to climb back down and as he returned to his room his father had left the apartment.
Many would describe the boy’s fascination with the Moon with the beautiful word known as ‘Selenophilia,’ but that night as the Alpha did the unthinkable and abandoned his pack, a new wolf was born to take his place.
End
Of Whiskey and Bottle Imps
A collaborative story by @traveling-bookworm and @caffedalmarewrites
In which two characters from different worlds meet.
Tate and Imp’s Bottle belongs to @traveling-bookworm
Raul De LaGuardia belongs to @caffedalmarewrites
A little writing experiment. We hope you enjoy this story as much as we enjoyed writing it!
The bar was spotless. If not for the possible health code violation, food could be served off the floor. Every table and surface was gleaming and smelled of fresh linen. As Tate wiped down the bar top for the twenty-third time, he felt a strange desire to start banging his head against it. A trip to the hospital for a concussion would cure the boredom of the night, but as the bar was empty of all forms of life, save himself, there would be no one to drive him there anyway. His favorite patrons - an old couple who always came in together to order Paps Blue Ribbon and quietly whisper and teeter together like a couple of love-sick teenagers - had been in, but they'd left well over an hour ago. On the table, the husband left his signature ten dollar bill - a tip Tate never felt he'd earned. At some point the couple must have come to the (misguided) understanding that Tate was in the market for a new car, for every night that the couple came in, the husband would plop a ten dollar bill onto the table, and accompany it with the words, "Now, you put that towards a Buick!" Tate would readily agree, with a salute and a "Yes, sir!" Between what past conversations had revealed and the hat the husband always wore, it was clear he was a proud veteran. Tate sighed, glancing at his watch. Only three more minutes had passed. Overhead, "Wheel in the Sky" by Journey was playing. Most nights Tate loved the quiet. Tonight, he found he was willing someone, /anyone/ to come in.
It had been a long and eventful night for the rider echoing the streets with the roaring engine of his motorcycle. Business as usual back at the restaurant, but that night he had a proposal he couldn't pass up. It doesn't happen every day, but it was something he would at times crave for ever since he decided to add some spice to his life while giving relief or closure to others; it was, of course, in a very unconventional manner. When the justice system fails, he may be called upon to satiate the need of a victim for it, but in a crude way. “Eye for an eye” as it’s told. That night, however, the offer came from a devastated grandmother who only wanted her granddaughter back. It was a case that was not in priority for the Social Services, even though it was a known fact that the 11 year old girl was constantly prostituted by her own parents for drugs. The job was to run smoothly, but he caught the girl in the midst of an unfortunate encounter. Needless to say, the man did not get what he paid for. All limbs dislocated in sections, ribs smashed, and a broken jaw was all the fucker got for his money with a message for the so called parents growled at him from a deep and raspy voice behind a dark wolf mask, "If they come near the girl again they'll face a worst fate than the puddle of shit ya are. Tell them that it ain't prison or death. Ya better make sure ya tell them cause I'll know... I'll know, mother fucker, and if ya don't... kill yourself or ya and I will have a fun night with ya beggin' for death."
All in all it was a successful night; the grandmother more than grateful to have her back, but the girl... her face was blank. Who or what could return her innocence? Nothing and no one. That's the downside of these types of jobs. That's what the whiskey washed away after the mayhem. He had rarely been to that part of town, so he slowly rode in search for a bar. That was when his eyes fell on an outdated looking sign called: Imp's Bottle. The name sounded interesting enough and lucky for him there was enough parking space right near the bar. He took his reflective goggles and mouth mask off and hid them inside his leather jacket. After he tousled his dark hair some, he dismounted his bike and entered the place. Royal blue eyes scanned about as he made his way towards the bar; his combat boots booming on the floor, practically the only sound in the empty space. He took a place on a stool and sighed, resting his forearms on the counter, "Jack on the rocks," he muttered to the bartender.
Tate's silent plea was answered in a way he hadn't expected. But then, the old saying "be careful what you wish for" rang true more often than it didn't. The man had a darkness about him. A brooding expression hung about his face, and while he looked straight ahead while he walked across the bar, it was either the past or the future he was seeing, not the present. He looked like a man fixing to do a bad thing. Or perhaps, the bad thing was over and done with, and now it haunted him. Or perhaps...it was a dry cocktail of both. Tate knew that man hadn't noticed and didn't care that he was the only patron in the bar. He knew the man had barely registered Tate's presence, beyond being the only bridge between his leather-clad self and the booze he needed for reasons he probably wasn't going to talk about. Whipping the cleaning rag onto his shoulder, Tate washed his hands and readied the drink. He wasn't surprised. This patron looked like a "Jack on the rocks" kind of guy. Hard, honest, straight up, and tough to swallow. Before setting the glass down, Tate said: "Just need to see some ID." Expecting an argument - or a more physical protest - from the man who reminded him of a wolf, Tate pointed to a sign above the bar. It read: "If you look like you were born after Elvis died, you WILL be carded." "Sorry, man," Tate said. "Policy."
Very unamused eyes glared at the pointed sign which earned the bartender a "You're fucking with me" look; he knew he looked old enough to own the damn bar. He sighed as he took his wallet out and dropped his ID on the counter. The last thing he wanted was to identify himself, but he knew it be a lot more suspicious if he hadn't. The card read: Raul De LaGuardia, and a clean cut version of himself as the image. While the bartender examined his ID, he reached out and took the glass from his hands and drank it straight like a shot, the one that erases the hollow feeling, "Another," his raspy voice said sliding the empty glass towards the other male; the ice barely melted. Raul drifted his gaze about again and rubbed his knuckles as he waited to be served, "This place such a dead joint all the time?" He asked just to take attention off himself.
Tate never looked at names or addresses. He studied the ID long enough to be certain of the date of birth, and nothing more. In the roughly two and a half years he'd worked at Imp's Bottle, never once had a single cop come in, and he didn't expect that to change. But the owner was a real decent guy who always dealt straight with Tate, so Tate always upheld the owner's policies when he was busy at his other two establishments. Which was most of the time. The Jack Daniels already drained from the glass, Tate handed back the leather-clad man's ID, and went about pouring the second round. "Not quite this dead," he said, in answer to the man's question. The man whom he'd now nicknamed "Jack" in his mind. "But it's late, chilly, and a Thursday, so this is what we get." Tate gave Jack's face a quick side-long glance. He looked distracted. Brooding. Detached. There was something...haunted in his eyes. And no one with a good, easy life came into a hole-in-the-wall bar this late on a Thursday. Tate made the drink a double, and set the glass down on the bar top. "On the house," he said. "I'm not asking questions, and I'm not trying to get in your business, but you look like you need it. Cheers."
Bartenders: the street's psychiatrists. The raven haired man was aware that the dirty blond could read some of his demeanor. As the glass is placed fully loaded on the counter top, a corner of Raul's lips stretched into a smirk. He picked his freshly served drink and made a small nod at the bartender before taking a smaller sip of the woody liquid. He felt more at ease; the adrenaline of the night slowly fading from his body. It is a rush he is addicted to though. The way his knuckles slice through skin, his kicks make a man fall on their knees, his voice influence fear on others. He liked it all and needed to indulge every so often. Being a pro boxer or UFC fighter wouldn't cut it; there are rules to follow and he hated restrictions. Like this he was his own law and had more purpose. Raul glanced at the man while taking another swig of his drink and sighed as his throat burned from the strong beverage, "Ya see this nose?" He said pointing at his own, "Broke it for the first time when I was 12. Brawlin' with a 16 year old. He was torturin' a street dog. So I did to him exactly what he did to the dog," he takes another sip and smirks, "Ever broken a bone, boy?"
Tate watched as the tension melted off Jack's face as he indulged in a long, luxurious swig. That reaction was common here, at Imp's Bottle. If people wanted a nice drink with a nice atmosphere in a nice place, they went downtown. To a real bar. People came here to escape, forget, fall off the wagon, and do it in private. Tate listened in silence to the brief history of Jack's nose. He had to admit, he wasn't surprised. This man seemed like a poetic-justice, eye-for-an-eye type. A modern day, quick-fisted Robin Hood. Common sense would suggest that being scared of him would be wise, but Tate found he kind of liked this stranger. To the unexpected question, Tate blinked a few times, amazed that Jack would even bother talking to him beyond ordering another drink. "Well, 'boy' isn't the most accurate title," Tate said with a small smile, placing a dish of cocktail peanuts next to his guest. "I'm twenty-nine. That's basically a grown up. And when you ask if I've broken any bones, do you mean mine, or someone else's? The answer varies depending on your meaning."
Raul's hand dipped into the peanut bowl and popped a few into his mouth and shrugged, "Ya can be eighty four and if boy's the name I decide to lay on ya, then get used to it. I rarely change my titles." He then took a good look at the bartender; he didn't seem the type to get into trouble, but did trouble look for him? That's what got him curious. The night rider drank a slow sip of whiskey then searched into his jacket and took a pack and a Zippo lighter out. He placed a cig over his lips and ignited it, "This joint better be a smokin' area," he said as smoke puffed from his nostrils, "Ya want one?" He offered placing the package and lighter on top of the counter, "Aight, boy, tell me both sides of the story."
Tate watched his lone patron light up with a defeated expression. He knew the (rather large) "No Smoking" sign was on the wall right behind him. He also knew the front door sported the words "This is a smoke-free establishment" right below the hours of operation. Tate coughed, and turned on the fan that sat on the back counter. "No, I don't want one," he said. "Never smoked a day in my life. And you shouldn't either. But as long as no other patrons come in, I'll allow it." He topped off Jack's glass, anticipating another refill request in the near future, and got out a beer for himself, rummaging around in the cooler until he found just the right one. He smiled at the label, a feeling of nostalgia settling over him. The last time he'd drank one of these had been the unexpected best night of his life. He now associated the flavor with /her/... "As far as my bones: nose once, couple of fingers, couple of toes, all accidents. Just me being clumsy," Tate said. "As far as someone else's bones...I didn't /break/ anything, but I caused a guy to fracture his hand. Right over there." Tate pointed to a table against the wall. "Our waitress has an idiot thug for a boyfriend. D-bag named Jimmy. He started a fight with some other guy because the other guy complimented the waitress. They were both drunk as hell, I was sober. Jimmy took a swing at the other guy, I shoved him out of the way, and...well, you see that spot on the wall where the paint's a little lighter? It had to be patched up because Jimmy's right hook went through it. Idiot." Tate took a sip of his beer. "His hand had to be patched up too. At the hospital."
Raul looked over his shoulder at the pointed spot on the wall and smirked turning back to look at his now drinking companion and exhaled smoke; he was at least careful to lean away from the bartender to do so. "Sounds like a jackass, aight. This waitress gal, she around?," he asked and sipped his refilled drink. The boy indeed was earning his tip, "I'd like to see the cause of a brawl in this... place. This sure ain't like the bars I'm used to. I know of a bartender that got shanked while breakin' a fight and still swung his bat like he was killin' off zombies! Crazy fuck," he chuckled, "Now /he/ don't look nothin' like ya. Save for the hair, I seem to attract dirty blonds," he said and at the lack of ashtrays he flicked his cig towards the floor, sprinkling ashes. "Ya look like the kind that don't like trouble but trouble seems to have a likin' to ya," he said with a grin, though not exactly mocking the fellow, "Tell me a story 'bout ya, boy. Make my decision to come in here worthwhile. Or I'll brin' trouble... it ain't hard for me to do," and winked at the empty threat. In truth, he liked the man. At least he felt comfortable and welcomed, "If I like it, I'll share a story of my own."
Tate set a second dish down, next to the peanuts. This one was empty. "I've already swept the floors," he said. "I kind of like to not have to do it again. And no, the waitress only works Friday and Saturday nights - much to her dismay. Count yourself lucky. She's young, spoiled, cranky, always running off to text Jimmy when she should be serving people, and she's lazy as an overweight house cat. But she's the owner's daughter, and having her work here a couple nights a week is his attempt at disciplining the brat, so I keep my mouth shut." Tate leaned back against the liquor shelves, sipping his beer. What story should he tell? Pretty much all his regulars were crazy as a summer day is long, but if he had to pick one... "Alright," he said, stepping forward and crossing his arms on the bar top. He leaned toward his patron, a conspiring gleam in his eye. "There's this guy: mid-to-late 60s, medium height, average build, mess of gray curls for hair. He comes in here once a week or so, right? Always has some mystical advice for me. How to have a better life, that sort of thing. Sometimes what he says is scary-relevant to what's going on with me. /But/ he's vague. He'll never give me specifics about what to do, or not to do. He says he 'doesn't want to affect my freewill.' Know who he is? Or who he claims to be?" Tate paused, giving Jack enough time to shake his head, "He's /me/. From the future."
·
Raul listened to the story with mild amusement and used the empty bowl as the appointed ashtray. When the bartender was done, his brow lifted and shook his head, "I ain't nearly tipsy to believe in those types of things. But if ya do and ya don't like how ya look in ya sixties, change whatever the fuck ya doin'," then drank from his glass and made a slight grunt as he swallowed, "I know I would if my old self had the need to be comin' at me with vague shit," he inhaled one last hit from his cig and dabbed it into the bowl. He didn't light another, wanting to return the good service he'd been receiving and nodded at the other male, "Aight, I guess the story had an interestin' angle but ya really said nothin' 'bout ya. I can respect that, I'm a private man myself," he said and gently swirled the glass within his grasp looking at the fading ice, "But I don't think ya won a story from me," he said with a cocky smirk as he sipped his whiskey.
·
"I'm not convinced he's me from the future," Tate said. "In fact, I think he's bat-shit crazy. But that doesn't stop him from being right often enough to make my hair stand on end." Tate leaned back, thinking. He took a slow sip of his beer, realizing Jack was right: he hadn't actually shared anything about himself. It wasn't that he was private, per se, it's just that he was, well, boring. Was there anything about his life worth sharing with a stranger? Looking down and scratching the back of his neck, he saw the purple keychain sitting in the unused tip jar. He grabbed it. "See this?" he asked Jack, showing his lone patron the purple embroidered "K" keychain with a single silver key hanging from it. "The night I got this was potentially the best night of my life, and it happened right here, in this rundown bar. The girl who gave it to me sat two stools from where you're sitting now. She looked like sunshine and Christmas morning, and I never thought she'd even speak to me beyond ordering a drink, but we just had this.../connection/. Like something out of a movie. I didn't think stuff like that happened to real people, let alone an average introvert like me. She ordered /this/ beer," he indicated the bottle he was drinking, "and she was the only patron ever to do so. I only order this brand because I drink it. She came here on her way to the airport - she's in Scotland now. But she left this keychain with me, saying someday she'd be back for it. It's...the most valuable thing I own. Sounds stupid, huh? But somehow I just know she'll be back. And I'm going to keep working here until she does." Tate took in a deep breath. What the hell was that? He never spoke so much or so uncensored about himself. Especially to a stranger who had no reason to care. "Sorry you asked for a story now, aren't you?" he asked, feeling suddenly bashful.
·
As the bartender spoke, Raul noticed the change in the man's demeanor. The expression on his face softened and brightened. A clear difference from when he first came in when the bartender seemed bored out of his wits. But now he looked... like a man in love. Or at least utterly smitten. Raul wondered if he would ever look that way in his life ever again. But that was an impossible love and a story he did not care to share with anyone. But he knew he owed one and took a swig of his drink, "Why wait? Go to Scotland and search for that chick. Maybe that's what she wanted ya to do all along. Get ya outta of this," he looked around, "Don't wanna throw mud on this place, but I feel stuck in time in here," and placed a few peanuts into his mouth. He stayed quiet as he chewed, pondering what he should share back to this stranger whom just opened up to him. He was ready to tell him of that one time he shacked up with this sniper babe he stumbled upon during one of his "missions" but that didn't seem fair. He sighed lifting a brow, "Well, I ain't got a fairy tale love story to tell ya. But I guess it's kinda in those lines," he drank some more liquor and side glanced the bartender, "Now this is perhaps the only woman that has captured my heart, but I don't let her know that or else she'll really bust my ass more than she already does," he smirked softly shaking his head, "She gifted me this when I was born," he said revealing from underneath his shirt a necklace that held an amulet in the shape of a horn, "This is called a "cornicello"... little horn in Italian. Supposed to protect ya from the evil eye. This one is made outta bone," he explained before tucking it back and shrugged, "She's my Nonna. The one that raised me. Ma was around but...not really. Anyway, I would do anythin' for that tiny Italian fireball," he chuckled, "That woman saved my life. She's my world," he said looking at the disappearing beverage, "The one that really looks out for me. Wish she stopped settin' me up on blind dates though."
·
"I can't actually go look for her, as much as I'd like to," Tate said, pushing the hair off his forehead only to have it flop back down. "I don't know where in Scotland she is, or who to ask for, and honestly," he looked at the floor, sheepish, "I never caught her name. Her cab showed up to take her to the airport, and I didn't get to ask. So lame... But I wasn't prepared to meet someone like her. We talked, and... My thought process just went out the window." The stranger kept his end of the bargin and shared a piece of his own life. Tate was taken aback by his patron's story. As much as he was aware of the fact that he didn't know "Jack" at all, he was a pretty good judge of which patrons would be sentimental about personal relationships and which ones wouldn't. Jack fell into the latter category. Yet, here he was, letting a huge wall crumble, telling Tate about someone who meant a great deal to him - and had his whole life, by the sounds of things. "She sounds incredible," he said. "Your 'Nonna.' You're Italian, I take it? I kinda figured. You look it. And sound it." He meant it as a compliment, and hoped Jack could sense that. Tate grabbed the bottle from the shelf and refilled Jack's glass without prompting. "So...what's a 'Nonna,' exactly? Are you two related?"
·
Raul smirked and nodded as he sipped his freshly refilled whiskey, "Last round, bud," he told him shaking his glass lightly, "And that's right, I am," he confirmed, very proud of his heritage, "Born and raised in Little Italy, New York. My Nonna, that's my grandmother, she made sure the culture is deep within me. I like to think it is... my cousins feel the same," then he turned his gaze away to look at the fading ice floating above the liquid. He was opening up too much with this stranger and it was time to stop. "So, 'bout that chick," he said turning the subject back to the bartender, "The odds are pretty against ya to find her but it still ain't a lost cause." His blue eyes looked over to the other man as he took a swig of his drink and nodded towards the bottle within his grasp, "That's ya clue," he said, "Search in every pub and store that sell them, ask around.... draw a picture of her. And if no shit turns up," he shrugged, "At least ya went on a trip."
·
Tate nodded in understanding at the words "last round." He was impressed with his patron. Jack could obviously hold his liquor, but wanted to stop before he got too wrecked. An admirable decision. And not one Tate saw often. He found Jack's story, short as it was, comforting. Here was a guy, tough as nails, charisma to spare, suave looking yet dangerous, probably used Jack Daniels to brush his teeth, all around /bad-ass/ (that Tate could never hope to be), with nothing but love and respect for his grandmother. It was...pretty damn cool. "Sounds like an awesome lady," Tate said, finishing his beer. "Both my grandmothers passed away when I was young. I don't remember them too well. Wish I did. As for K... I've actually been doing just what you suggested. So far, I can't find a bar in Scotland that carries this brand - but I have about 10,000 more to call. They're big on drinking in the UK, I guess. Pubs, bars, and watering holes everywhere. I like your idea of a trip, I just...can't really afford it right now." He wrote up Jack's bill on his receipt pad, only charging him for two glasses. It was worth it to have such interesting company. "How you feeling?" Tate asked, setting the bill next to Jack, on the bar top. "I can call you a cab, if you want. No problem."
.
Raul glanced at the bill then up to the fellow; it's more than obvious both have led very different lifestyles and yet somehow they have gotten along so well. That was something that didn't happen often. With a soft scoff, Raul shook his head and continued to enjoy his last drink of the night, "Takes more than a few rounds to get me tipsy. I don't drink to numb myself, always thought people to be pathetic and weak when they do," he looked at his glass as he thought on someone, "A temporary and useless escape. So don't worry, boy," he said smirking at Tate, "I'm well in control." Then he fell quiet for a moment, returning his thoughts to the present, "Hn, ya seem to be a man that knows what ya want and know what ya need to do. But ya play too safe...," he mused, "Get outta ya bubble, boy. Ya already got the plan half done. Ya searchin' for this girl, yeah? Then earn the fuckin' money to get to her. Sell some of ya stuff! Do what ya gotta do, but go further than just searchin' from afar," he gulped the last of his whiskey and placed the glass on the counter, "If ya've seen ya face while ya spoke of her," he said while searching his wallet, "Ya were alive, boy. So much that ya made me talk like a romantic fuck head," and slammed some cash on the counter, clearly much more than the number on the bill, "Keep the change. My contribution for ya trip." He stood up from the stool and ruffled his dark hair, "Thanks for the booze and..," he shrugged with a small cocky grin as he turned his heels to walk out of the whimsical bar, "Ey," he called looking over his shoulder, "If ya ever feel like enjoyin' a good and unforgettable Italian meal, I suggest a restaurant called Casa Italia, ya'd be more than welcome there. Ciao, ragazzo. Good luck with ya hunt," with a softer smirk, he turned and left the bar with the bartender searching to break out of his shell and that gave him the much needed solace. The boy, as he will forever remember him, had a pure soul and brought him peace. As he mounted his motorcycle, he took his riding mask and dark goggles out from his jacket and glanced up to the sky where he saw the Moon. With his grin now hidden behind his wolf mask, he turned the engine and roared away to the road, ready to reach his home and put an end to his eventful night.
·
Tate watched as Jack made his way out the door. Used to feelings of indifference or even relief when a patron left, Tate was surprised by how Jack left such a gaping hole in his wake. The door banging shut behind his leather-clad figure echoed too loudly in the empty, silent bar, and Tate winced, his ears ringing. A moment later, he realized the silence was far louder. He took the bill he'd written out for Jack and wrote the words "Casa Italia." "Italian House?" he guessed aloud. He shrugged, folding the paper and slipping it into his pants' pocket. He counted the cash on the counter. As he had suspected, there was about three times more than he'd charged Jack for. He shook his head in amusement, promising himself that he wouldn't waste it. He cleared away Jack's empty glass and left over peanuts, and wiped the bar top down again, thinking about what kind of restaurant it must be for someone like Jack to recommend it. Maybe his grandmother - or, Nonna - ran it. That would be cool. Tate slung his cleaning rag over his shoulder and looked down at the purple embroidered K. "You'd go, wouldn't you?" he asked aloud, as if the girl, and not just her keychain, was beside him. "Yeah, of course you would. I have Monday off. I'm sure I'll get hungry. Italian it is."
The Magic Pumpkin Café ~ Exclusive for the Press ~ Meet the Owner “So, after my stint as a Fairy Godmother ended so poorly, I went to visit Jiminy Cricket,” she told the boy. “I wasn’t up for being a regular fairy – the adaption to being so small is very jarring to the body, and at my age…well, you get the idea. I could have tried my hand at being an evil enchantress – I know more than I’d like to admit about dark magic – but honestly, I like being good. It makes me happy. And it’s a lot more satisfying! Just because that last ungrateful girl couldn’t handle a midnight curfew and blamed me for losing her shoe, doesn’t mean it was time to turn in my wand. I have plenty of good magic left to share with the world. One bad apple doesn’t spoil the bunch. Unless you’re Snow White, that is.”
The boy laughed, writing down everything she said in his scribbling shorthand. “But why Jiminy Cricket?” he asked. “Why go to him?”
“Well, he’s a conscience,” she said. “He helps people see the truth, and make good and selfless decisions. I owe him a lot. I don’t know if I ever would have thought to try combining my two favorite things if I hadn’t talked to him.”
“And your two favorite things are..?” the boy prompted, his pen poised and ready.
“Magic and coffee,” she replied with a cheeky wink. “Though some would say they’re the same thing.”
“Would you say that?”
She considered this. “Yes. In many ways, they are the same thing. They both have the power to break a sleeping curse, or cause feelings of instant and powerful love… But in some other ways, one is vastly improved by the other.”
The boy quoted her, making additional notes in no particular order all over the pages of his notebook.
She watched him with a nostalgic smile, remembering that, once upon a time, she had been that young. She continued washing her mugs, tea cups, and saucers, preparing for the café to open in half an hour. As the boy continued to write, she glanced out the window at the sign hanging above the door. “Magic Pumpkin Café,” it read. Not exactly subtle, but appropriate. She was proud of the name, just as she was proud of her café. Delicious specialty coffees and teas, available with “a little extra magic,” if the patron desired. Every ingredient was measured and tested to perfection; the recommended doses, directions, warnings, and side effects clearly noted. For, while a little magic was good, an overabundance could lead to disaster.
Catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror behind the coffee bean grinder, she tucked a loose piece of silver hair back up into her bun and adjusted her square spectacles, which were always inching their way down her up-turned nose. She looked advanced in years, but was not without grace, poise, and a figure that still made most men do a double-take. She smiled at her reflection, content with the way she was aging.
“So,” the boy said, consulting the posted menu, “you have drinks that can help with a person’s love life, confidence, honesty, sleeplessness, social life, cowardice, and countless other afflictions and aspects of life. Any new and upcoming drinks to look forward to?”
She laughed – a tingling, heartfelt sound, reminiscent of bells. “I shouldn’t say anything, because who knows if I’ll be able to get the potion levels to balance enough to accomplish this, but I’m working on an espresso shot that can cause temporary flight.” She gave the boy a wide smile. “It’s coming along nicely. I’m close, I can feel it, and I’m so excited by the prospect. If I can accomplish this recipe with my reserve of pixie dust, then the sky is the limit – literally!”
“Temporary flight?!” the boy cried. “Like…Neverland style?”
“You got it,” she said, a proud smile showcasing the little dimple that graced the left side of her face. “A few more weeks, and any average Joe should be able to keep up with Peter Pan. As long as he believes, of course. That’s the secret.”
The boy gawked at her, his pen suspended a few inches above the paper. Then he began to write with speed and vigor. “Wish we woulda had that when Bill Sikes was after us! Brilliant! Recreation and a quick escape method!”
She laughed, amused by his reaction. She knew the new drink would be very popular, if she could only work out that one little kink…
The boy finished scribbling and adjusted the gray derby on his head. “This place is…unbelievable,” he said, a breathless quality to his voice. “You’re unbelievable. No wonder the Press sent me here for an interview!”
She laughed again. “You’re not from one of the magical realms, I take it?”
“I’m from London.”
“Ah. That city has its own style of magic, though.”
“It’s got some charm.”
She nodded. “It does, indeed. Any other questions?”
“Just one,” the boy said. “Off the record: you need an assistant?”
She laughed again, hearty and unguarded. “You are darling!” she exclaimed. “But don’t you enjoy working for the paper?”
“O’course!” he said. “Love it! But I’m young, so it’s only part time. And I’d love to see firsthand what you do. Be the sorcerer’s apprentice, so to speak.”
“I do have one employee,” she said, a thoughtful expression on her face. “A pretentious girl who always wears a blinding red hoodie. She’s efficient, though. Old women love her. But…I probably could take on another – for busy days. Hmm…it’s about time to open now… Why don’t you leave your name and number, and I’ll call you later?”
“You got it!” the boy cried. “Brilliant! Thank you!” He ripped a page out of his notebook and scribbled down his name and phone number. With a grin that would rival that of the Cheshire cat, he handed her the paper.
Holding it at arm’s length and looking down through her spectacles, she read, “Jack Dawkins. That’s odd… I read your newspaper every week and I’ve never seen your name in it.”
“Ah! That’s ‘cause I write under a pseudonym,” Jack explained. “An old nickname I picked up from my long-gone pick-pocketing days.”
“A reformed pick-pocket,” she said, her eyebrows rising and falling in amusement. “Now that’s proof of magic. What’s the nickname?”
“Dodger,” he told her, a mischievous grin blooming on his face. “The Artful Dodger.”
9.19.16 Part of the Magic Pumpkin Café collection. Look for the drinks! (Also on this blog.) – The Glass Slipper Latte – Spindle, the Anti-Espresso Shit – True Love’s Kiss – The Jiminy Cricket …and many more to come… ~ Traveling BookWorm
For my Muse.
Fracción Número Seis
"Cowards!" I called you all. "You sicken me." Yet all stood tall. "Eat us." You said to me. "Become our King." You helped me see. You all learned true power As I feasted in your devour. Glory came from your cower. You all became my flesh, Your loyalty knew no rest. All saw what I could bring And I can still hear you sing, "Hail, hail, our King!"
Jitters
*The basic story idea was given to me by some coworkers, and I twisted it a bit. Enjoy!*
I have the headache from hell. Straight from hell. Like, right out of Satan’s ass.
My boss, Deena, is saying something. Something about getting something filed. Or is it filled? Or is it…?
Man, what the fuck?
The truth is, I couldn’t care less what she’s going on about. All I can concentrate on are my sweaty palms, dry mouth, and pounding headache.
Ah, shit. Now she’s looking at me like she expects me to say something. Did she just ask me a question? Or…maybe she’s just making sure I’m paying attention. Which I’m not.
I go with something affirmative but ambiguous: “Yep, got it.”
She gives me an odd look, but nods and walks away, apparently satisfied.
Crisis averted. Cool.
But what the hell did she tell me to do?
My hands start shaking. Damn jitters. I press my palms together. They’re clammy. My headache is worse than it was five minutes ago. Shit. How am I supposed to get through this day? I can’t, that’s how. It’s not gonna happen.
I rub my eyes, thoroughly pissed off at myself for not replenishing my stash. What had I been thinking? I’d known I was out last night. One quick stop on my way home yesterday and this whole screwed up situation could have been avoided. I wouldn’t be at work, going through withdrawals, unable to focus or concentrate, feeling like I’m going to throw up or pass out if I don’t get what my body and brain are craving so damn bad.
I look up. Britney’s over there – by the copier. My God, she has a nice ass. Hot. Fills out her pants. She always wears her pants a little too tight. I always make sure I sit behind her. I’d grab her ass if she’d let me. For sure. I want to. But not as bad as I want something else right now.
I rub my eyes again. Yeah…I can’t stand this anymore.
“Hey, Britney,” I call.
She turns around, tossing her hair behind her shoulder. She says something about me not looking too good, but I don’t catch all of it. My head hurts too much. And she’s too hot. I want to have sex with her. So bad. Maybe after I get my problem taken care of. Does she find me attractive? Probably not. I’ve heard she’s easy, though. So, maybe—man, who cares? I’ve got bigger issues.
“Um, I need some water. And to make a phone call,” I tell Britney. I’m unable to make eye contact with her. I can tell my eyes are dried out and bloodshot. “If Deena asks, I’ll be back in a few. Cool?
“Yeah, cool…”
I run to the water cooler, dialing my buddy’s number as I go.
“Hey, man,” I say in a hushed voice. “I’m hurting bad. Can you help me out?”
I fill up a paper cup and down the water in one gulp.
“What’cha need?” my buddy asks.
“Just the regular stuff,” I say. “The plainest, cheapest you can bring me. I have cash on me. I’m at work, so…can you meet me out back?”
“Yeah, I’m actually in the area,” my buddy says. I guess he can hear the urgency in my voice. “I’ll be right there.”
I end the call and swig down two more cups of water.
I make my way out the back door and wait with my back against the wall of the building. I can’t stop my foot from tapping. I can’t stand these jitters. I’m never gonna let myself run out again. I swear. Never. ‘Cause this sucks.
My buddy pulls up in his old Mustang. The window rolls down.
“Thanks, man,” I say, already holding out my hand.
My buddy shakes his head. “Money first.”
I take a five dollar bill out of my pocket and hand it to him.
He stares at me like I’m crazy. “Hey, man, it’s just—”
“I know,” I say. “Keep the change. It’s a thank you for being so fast.”
He shrugs. “Cool. Here.”
He hands me a large Starbucks coffee.
“Regular house blend with some cream and sugar.”
I take a sip. Then another. And another. I swear I can feel my headache start to evaporate away. My jitters are already subsiding.
“Thanks, man,” I say. “You are literally my savior.”
With a wave, I walk back into the building, mentally reminding myself to buy some Folgers on my way home.
Got to replenish the stash.
*Dedicated to all my fellow coffee addicts. May your taste buds dance and your jitters be put to bed!*
Love the twist! XD
The Dream
Last night I dreamed of you. You were on your bed with mother. My best friend, Alexandra, was there and I introduced you to her; you were glad to see her. We spoke of her car, you thought it be an excellent one to carry you around; you were in your sickly days. I said to you that I rode it a few times, you gave me a knowing smile; you know my dilema but there was no judgement in your eyes. Thank you for that.
All seemed normal and well. But for some reason I knew you were a rare sight for me to see. Thoughts of you when you had your first major respiratory arrest flooded my mind in that dream, because that was the bed you were on, in the same room, same dimmer light from the lamp. So I did my best to have contact with you; I touched your shoulder, I hugged you, I kissed your hand, I rubbed your back, and I made sure you looked ok before I left. You gave me a few smiles but yet you were rather distant. You were with me and not at the same time. Having a full glimpse of your face was difficult to have, but I saw you. Very clear. You were both healthy and sick. Like always when I see you.
You come to me in the rarest of moments. Not when I spend half a day thinking of you, not when I think that you may like x thing or that. Not when I think on all the should’ve, could’ve, would’ve. You come when you know you’ll surprise me.
I miss you. I never say that to you because when we meet is like we see each other everyday. And still I always know that is not the case; I always know you have to leave again. But we smile at each other, share knowing glances, speak miscellaneous things that I can’t barely hear or remember. You know I love you, right? You do. Because I told you.
I told you that I love you before you left.
You can’t take the beast You can’t stand the heat You will take my crown And bestow it upon my brow Then our eyes will meet And you will surrender at my feet
You will bow down And I will feast in your meat.
- Caffedalmare
A king with no crown A king with no kingdom Forced to kneel down Obeying another’s “wisdom”
A king once fallen A king now returning Enemies will start crawling For the King comes brawling.
- Caffedalmare
I am your willing slave, for you became the real Master of my soul. Bound by blood and resolve I am forever yours.
-Caffedalmare
Interstellar Rider
by Caffedalmare
Another long week of work had come to its end and he is finally able to enjoy her once more. Stepping into his garage his lips stretch into a smirk that he can only reserve for her. He walks to her side and lightly traces his fingertips over the leather seating before covering his hands inside his riding gloves. From the moment he was able to buy her off from the junkyard, he slowly took care and customized her to his liking and now she stands proudly on her two wheels, with shine on her steel and dark paint. After zipping his leather jacket he mounts her and ignites the engine, warming her for their ride. He prepares himself too; after sliding his riding face mask on, he puts on his mirrored lens aviators and softly rakes his hair. Feeling they are both ready he clicks the button and opens the garage door. Roaring the engine he begins their journey.
Not a man to settle for one love, he rides out to meet them all. His motorcycle being his most cherished one, but the road becomes his sweetheart. He rides through the busy city streets, following all the rules as he should, until he hits the highway. Tonight is a special night where he sees his first and true love in her full splendor. Making the muffler roar again, he speeds up his horse of steel up the lonesome road. The wind toys with his dark locks of hair as the reflection of his beloved slowly appears over his aviator’s lenses. He loves her in all her shapes and states but when she is full and round he finds her irresistible in her majestic glory. That night she is the closest to him that she’ll ever be in a long time and he can see her so clearly. But she teases him and begins to drift away from his view and that’s when his journey truly begins.
He sparks the engine and raises speed over the now disappearing road as his eyes focuses on her. She mockingly hides behind mountains and peeks as he makes a turn on a curve, slightly bending his leg out to maintain balance. But very soon it’s just him, her, and the galaxy for themselves. He has her in full view and rides straight towards her, his grin ever growing under his mask. It started when he was a kid; the way her silver glow shone through his bedroom window and his eyes drift to greet her, finding a static comfort in her presence that he needed when the world was cruel and dark. People come and go, but the wolf will always have his Moon. Since then his fascination grew into love and the moment his feet were able to hit the pedals, from bicycle to motorcycle, they enjoy this little game of pursuit.
But sometimes, even the galaxy can become dangerous, or more like her. Her beauty distracts him from the shine of approaching stars that now reflect on his aviators instead. But a loud screech from one of them catches his attention just in time for him to avoid any fatal collision. Stirring his faithful roadrunner, he regains control and realizes how she deviously made him ride opposite to the stars. But that only makes him smirk accepting her challenge. Now with full focus he makes his chase with much more certainty, passing by the alarmed stars with more ease while she continues to sway from him.
The only ones finding enjoyment out of their game is he and her; exactly how it should be. But a star decides to break their fun and chases after him. His smirk fades and turns into an annoyed frown under his mask. This isn’t a star he can easily avoid, the shine of this one being increasingly brighter and increasingly irritating with its unceasing shriek. With a last glance to his Blue Moon he makes a run for it. The wind blows ever harder against his hair as he makes a hasty turn back to where he came from. The star makes the exact maneuver and speeds after him like a shooting star, but he doesn’t lose his resolve. His grin returns when he sees the radiance of more stars up ahead and uses them to his advantage. With his slender and quicker ride, he moves between them, never looking back to see the shooting star almost become a supernova.
The road returns to its regular form and he enters the busy city streets once again. Safely returning to his station, he closes his garage door and turns his motorcycle off. With promises of cleaning and shining her up the next day, he bids his loyal companion goodnight and enters his house. Dropping his keys and mask on the counter, he unzips his jacket and leaves it on a chair as he steps to his mini bar. He serves himself a glass of whiskey on the rocks, how he prefers it, and walks over to his bedroom window to find her there glowing over his aviators. With only her shine lighting over him and his room, he takes his sunglasses off and allows her shine to finally hit his eyes. With a small sip from his glass and the heat of the drink in his throat he howls to her satisfied from his chase. He then chuckles and takes another sip of his glass before he starts to strip from the rest of his clothes. He expects the ticket to come by mail any day now, but he doesn’t care. He had his thrill with his three loves and, who knows, maybe he’ll become an outlaw of the stars.
END
Inspiration:
https://soundcloud.com/anzomusic/passage
For this Moment
by Caffedalmare
It is only for this moment. The sound of the dark liquid clashing against the porcelain walls; watching as the dark wave fills the ceramic void; the strong hot aroma clouding my sense of smell bringing a ghost of a smile upon my lips. It is only for this moment that I find it in me to wake up early in the morning. I set the coffee pot down and pick the milk carton to add just enough to create the perfect mulatto. Three spoons of sugar and the coffee is more than ready to be gently devoured by me. Just as I am about to lock lips with my cup, my eyes level down at the sound of nearing steps; that’s when my brown eyes meet with the smaller brown pairs of my dog. He sits by my leg and rubs his sleepy face against it. My smile grows as I softly pet his head in return. I dare not move, for he leaves his head gently lingering upon my leg. I realize then that is also for this moment that I too find it in me to wake up early in the morning.
Blue Fire
by Caffedalmare
Their gazes connected as they both stood on top of the cliff side of the buildings facing one another; miles of empty space securing their distance. The wind softly toyed with her long curls of auburn hair while his short blackest locks battled to stay in place in the sleeked fashion he preferred, but it was progressively a losing fight. All she had was the way he looked as she observed him through the scope of her sniper, clearly seeing the weapon he had pointing at her in return. But then he slowly put his own rifle down and lifted his now empty gloved hands in the air before he brought them to his face. He took off his mask and tilted his head to the side with a smirk she found unable to stop herself from mimicking with her own lips. They were not each other’s targets; they had no idea who the other was. All there was for certain was the job they each had at hand and the time was nearing. They both resumed their positions before they recognized each other’s forms from across the buildings and pointed their guns at their designated angle. A limo approached in view and when the moment was precise they both fired their weapons; their bullets diving down and colliding against the brains of their appointed targets. His was to the man in the back seat of the limo who had his mouth nibbling against his mistress neck. Hers was to the mistress who was laughing at the ticklish sensation of her lover’s mouth against her skin. The two snipers look at each other realizing they were both contracted by the other’s jealous spouse. But she was not done and returned her focus at the still running limo and without missing a beat she fired a second shot that resulted fatal to the driver, who was the mistress’ accomplice. Seeing the limo recklessly steer off the road and into a pole, she grinned considering her job successfully done once again. As she aimed her gun back to the sniper on the other side he was already aiming back at her but neither of them were gazing through their scopes.
It was all a mystery, even as their naked bodies molded against the other’s and tumbling over the bed of his hotel room, with their clothes and weapons scattered all over the place. He made fun of her tight single piece suit while she mockingly retorted back at the cliché James Bond flair he had going. Even as their lips and tongues twisted together and their spits mingled; even as their hands touched, grabbed, and scratched every ripple and curve of the other’s skin and their hot breaths hit the other’s face as the ecstasy of the moment hitched their breathing, they had no idea just who they were fucking. They didn’t care, and why should they? He was tall, dark, handsome, and passionate. She was petite, voluptuous in all the right places, oddly beautiful, intriguing, and fiery. Very fiery. After she had so expertly placed the condom over his cock with her mouth, she roughly pushed him against the bed and began to ride him mercilessly. His fingers clawed her waist as he grunted by the weight that so deliciously pounded him over and over. He bit his lower lip, curved in the corner by a smirk, as he watched her breasts bounce with each thrust. Temptation taking over, he reached out for them and sat straighter, massaging them with greed then shamelessly trap a nipple in his mouth. That drew a long moan from her, raking a hand into his dark hair and the other made paths across his back with her fingernails.
“Don’t…awngh!…don’t leave a mark.”
She panted catching his attention. Wrapping an arm around her, he flipped their positions and pinned her to the mattress holding her by the throat to keep her in place,
“Taken, are we?”
He said with a sly grin, licking two of his fingers and bringing them down to manipulate her clit as he penetrated in and out of her. She struggled to some extent, gripping his hand around her neck by instinct, but then succumbed to the intoxicating pleasure coming from her sex and returned the smirk with a sensuous moan.
“Problem? …Aaah!”
She gasped as he had slapped her thigh and clutched it good, ramming into her faster.
“Fuck nah, doll…nngh!”
He husked taking in the way her body went up and down on his command and how the glistening of her sweat allured her features more.
“Shit…ya must be with some fuckin’ idiot!”
He grunted making her eyes roll while shaking her head not wanting to think about her reality back home at a moment like that.
“Shut up! Don’t be a killjoy…Fuck!”
She said with an exasperated sigh, but then she frowned some as she stared at his blue eyes.
“Hey…that accent…?”
She asked between pants and he smirked licking his swollen lips.
“Italian… Ya hips?”
Her grin returned as she tangled her fingers inside his hair once again,
“Puerto Rican.”
She pulled him in, not allowing him to fully register the info, to lock their lips as their moans drowned within the other’s mouths. Her legs had wrapped tightly around his waist and pushed him even further in her. Soon the rush of the moment began to pool inside the stomach of the two killers, his thrusts becoming shallower yet deeper. He hit his climax first which causes her to quickly flip them to their original position,
“Oh no, you don’t…aahhh…..nngh aahh…”
She groaned as she rode him, not letting his prick become soft, with her hands flat against his chest, until she finally orgasms with a loud cry and grin. He watched her relax as she fell limp beside him, both of them panting from afterglow. He was ready for a cuddling session but as she sighed with a content hum she rolled off the bed and began to dress. He quirked a brow leaning against his elbows seeing her zip her suit up.
“That’s it?”
He said and she glanced at him over her shoulder sitting on the edge of the bed to put her boots on,
“What do you mean?”
She casually said standing to grab her rifle, briefly checking it out before slipping the strap over her shoulder. He shrugged shaking his head,
“Dunno. Not even a smoke? The sex was great, c’mon!”
At that she couldn’t help but look down with a shy grin before gazing at him playfully,
“Really? You think it was great?”
She said in a condescending manner as she walked towards the window, not about to admit to this cocky stranger it was perhaps the best she has had ever since she got married into a nightmare.
“Look, I know I’m hot and all, but don’t fall in love, ok?”
She teased him before stepping out the window and onto the emergency latter. The wind once again toyed with her now messier locks of hair and he sat on the edge of the bed facing her. She looked at him with a shine in her eyes that he wouldn’t forget for a while,
“Hey, that tattoo on your arm? Is that a dog’s paw print?”
With a sigh he looked over at his arm before glaring at her,
“Is a wolf’s.”
He corrected her and she dismissively shrugged,
“Well then, see you around blue wolf.”
And just like she so mysteriously appeared she was out of view for a long while to come. Scoffing to himself he stood up from the bed and grabbed his underwear, slipping them on, before searching through his discarded pants for his pack of cigarettes. After lighting one, he stood in front of the window and blew the smoke out when his phone rang.
“Yeah?...Yeah, s’done. Ey, listen, remember when ya said I needed like a code name or some shit like that?...Yeah, yeah, well, how ‘bout this one…The Blue Wolf.”
End
"No greater beauty can my eyes behold than the simple yet grand form that is you. Soft glowing soul that burns me whole."
-Caffedalmare
She walks in solitude,
The blank path as her view,
She runs in solitude,
Her flowing hair’s the poet’s muse,
She walks in solitude,
For she is the mother of the Universe,
She runs in solitude,
Singing a song as loud as thunder,
She walks in solitude,
Filling the skies with life and wonder.
-Caffedalmare
To be or not to be?
To be a writer you have to write. Just sit down and write. Just sit down and do it. This is what my brain keeps telling me to do and for some reason I find excuses not to. Fear? Plenty. Guilt? It has a lot to do with it. Why? Frankly, I am not that certain. Perhaps is because I also torture myself to believe this is an unreachable dream for me and if so, why waste my time on it? I can’t tell how many times I have been told that being a writer does not put food on the table; that writers die of hunger. I let that work my head. I need a job with a reliable income and that is a plain and unchangeable fact. I recently found one, after finally graduating from my M.A. no later did a landed a job worthy of my studies. But...it isn’t filling me with an ounce of satisfaction. But it is what I NEED to live, pay bills, help around the house, etc. Then one day, while watching Jane the Virgin (yup) I received a slap to my face. When Rafael asks Jane if she were to be practical what would she be, she replies a teacher. Then he asks her if she were to be brave what would she be, she replies a writer. That cosmic slap hurt so much I actually had to go to my room and cry because that is straight up my situation. I am a teacher and I am being practical.
Well, I want to be brave. For me being brave is more than being a writer, is following the path that I truly want for myself and be utterly satisfied with my decisions. Writing is a great deal of that path and so I begin this blog. I have characters in my mind running all the time and stories to tell. I want to be able to proudly say what I do for a living, not say it with distaste and sadness in my voice. I am getting tired of saying that “all is going good for me” when I clearly know it is not. I may not be able to post things around the clock but it does bring me a glint of hope and feel that I am doing something to move forward with my goals. I have to work for what I want and I will. I want to be. I just need a place to start.