[caffeineandsarcasm]

I keep forgetting this app exists now.

Also, I’m starting to applying for jobs within my kids’ school district and I feel like I will never even finish any of them because what do I even say for “list activities you are willing to sponsor?!” I’m fully overwhelmed and I’m only on the job skills portion 😭

[caffeineandsarcasm]

One of my kids threw up a bunch yesterday. And the second one of my kids even hint at being nauseous, my stomach starts hurting. Every time. So today, my stomach is starting to feel worse but I LEGIT cannot tell if it’s just anxiety or I’m actually getting the stomach bug she had because they’re both very real possibilities. It doesn’t help that it’s all I’ve been able to think about for the last two hours.

So, I’m sitting here, willing myself to not be sick because I need to pick up groceries tomorrow, I’m on week 4 of solo parenting, with no clue when my husband will be back, and it’s almost Easter so I don’t have time for this. I’m sending myself good thoughts and prayers at this point, really.

[caffeineandsarcasm]

I hope everyone gets married to Simply the Best, now.

[shegos]

#current mood

[caffeineandsarcasm]

I gave my sweet social butterfly preschooler two papers with my phone number to give her friends. She remembered she was going to give Alice my number and couldn’t remember who the other friend was. Then she saw and waved to a boy and I told her not to give him my number, so she of course asked why. I said I don’t think his mom and I would be friends. Picture this : me in my joggers and oversized sweatshirt (my pajamas) with a very messy bun and big plans to brush my teeth when I get back home. Her, full hair and make up every day (which isn’t a big deal) with her son that’s wearing a red 45 hat.

I have also fallen in love with a dog at my local greenery and don’t know how to go pet him more often, other than seriously increasing my smoking or like kidnapping the little cutie 😫

[caffeineandsarcasm]

Lol @ the time I woke my husband up with my daughter’s positive Covid test and he thought it was a pregnancy test.

[caffeineandsarcasm]

Normalize starting to build a fucking credenza while your kid is in preschool, right before her friend is coming for a play date for the first time, and maybe getting only half way through so your living room is full of wood and tools when they come over 🙃

[oracle-fae]

eggs 🌿✨

[caffeineandsarcasm]

Me, watching all the ADHD TikToks : okay, but everyone probably relates to all of this. Wait, does everyone NOT relate to all of this??

[bob-belcher]

[caffeineandsarcasm]

Do people still play Animal Crossing? I got myself - I mean my kids - a Switch for Christmas and I’ve been playing it while listening to books and ignoring my responsibilities! 🙃

[sagihairius]

you ever start to write a post and just x out halfway through like nobody wants to see this not even me

[caffeineandsarcasm]

Lol @ my dishwasher coming 3 weeks late now because of the snow 🙃

In better news, my 7 year old’s bff came over today, and I was nervous, as I am when I have to hang out with a stranger, and she said she almost cancelled because she was anxious and she knew she could use the snow as an excuse. BUT IT WENT SO WELL, I really like her and wish they would come hang again. Also, she brought me cookies.

Anyway, fuck snow.

[caffeineandsarcasm]

Yesterday, I was working with some billing issues. Our customer, we’ll call him David from [company name], who is also my husbands friend, who I have met and has played with my kids, was emailing me about the problem. I was basically like cool bruh, I’ll look into this after I drop my kids off. Well I fixed it and emailed him to take a look, and he basically wrote back the same thing he wrote before I fixed it. I was thinking that I made him grumpy, but he’s super nice all the time, so I called and left him a voicemail to make sure it gets taken care of.

My husband gets home and said that David came to ask how I was doing because sometimes David [company name] can be a little much. I WASNT EMAILING WITH OUR NICE FRIEND, I WAS EMAILING THE COMPANY PRESIDENT. Fml, I will think about this for the next hundred days. I’m now thinking back to what I said in my emails and phone call and I’m also sure that I have spoken with him before and didn’t realize it was a different person 🤦🏻‍♀️

[caffeineandsarcasm]

My long time friend and book club member (there are only 3 of us) is getting brain surgery tomorrow. My realtor (my husband’s aunts best friend’s husband, if that tracks) is getting part of his wife’s liver two days later. If you have some spare good thoughts, vibes, thoughts, prayers, etc, I know those 3 people could use them!

[torufukuda]

Today’s Illustration! 今回もHappy Holidaysなものをお届けします。師走だけにどうぞよろしくお願いしわっす。 イラストとキャラクターのご用命、プレゼン等のご相談は 下記の投稿フォームからお願いいたします。 お問い合わせフォーム

[caffeineandsarcasm]

My kids decided that 3 months into preschool, she’s going to start screaming and crying about going to school. The first two times, I couldn’t be calm so we went home, then I had Covid so she couldn’t go back for a couple of weeks. Last time, I let her teacher pry her off of me and I calmly and casually told her to have a good day and I would see her real soon. Today, I had to drag her out of the car but she was able to calm down enough to walk in by herself. She even did our hug, kiss and see you real soon routine, that we did for bed time, that I suggested might help for school. She calms down instantly after I leave but it’s fucking ROUGH. My older kid loves school and has not cried about me leaving her once. J says she’s just nervous, which I get, because I get nervous about activities I enjoy before I do them, to this day.

Moral of this story, I hope I’m not scarring my kid.