(Excerpt from the journal of Commander Aurelius Pyrite Alderspark; 1325 AE)
âThereâs a greenhouse below Fort Trinity.
Rows and rows of planters, pans, thrifted potteryâeven some trees sprouting up through the flooring. Most of the Pact thinks weâve moved into an abandoned fortress, but thatâs not accurate intel. Trahearneâs been camping out here for years, or so he tells me.
Retaking Claw Island was a military victory. Those are familiar; I was taught from cubhood how to deliver them. This hidden gardenâŠthis is something entirely different. âHearneâs planning for the aftermathâassuming thereâll be an aftermath in the first place. Seeing what plantsâll grow near Orr, how they react to the corruption, which ones could potentially reverse it.
The Citadel didnât teach me how to slow down, how to tend a sprout until itâs strong enough to go on without you. Even in Ash, all our planning was for the next battle, the next foe, looking to the end of our claws and no further. Planting seeds, trusting that theyâll grow once weâre goneâŠthis is a marathon exercise in hope.
Pictures like this are so important! I wish I would have seen more of this when I was younger. Iâd have been more receptive to my bodyâs need for mobility aids if I had seen it in a positive light like this.
i had never tried anything from ithaca before, but i had a coupon to get a free hummus from them, and i LOVE beets, so i picked this puppy out and eagerly went home with some cucumbers, baby carrots, and a heart full of joy, eager to experience this beautiful temptress of a crudite accompaniment
my joy, i must report to you now, morphed quickly to UTTER befuddlement
i took one bite and then spent several moments gazing at my ithaca lemon beet hummus with a knowledge in my heart that i had tasted something not meant for mortal mouths
gentle reader, there is nary a tasting note of beet to be found in the pink-hued depths of this container
the beet is perhaps a whisper, a gentle suggestion that there was once a crimson root vegetable contracted to appear in this iago-esque concoction
whatever you think it would taste like: wrong
second guess of what it would taste like??? also wrong
"pen, i think i can imagine what it would taste like based on the ingredients." false. sheer hubris. you, like i, would be a culinary icarus beelining to a chickpea sun, blissfully ignorant of the solar bitchslap about to rocket your ass back down to a confusing earth
at best, i can describe it as ranch but angry
ranch with a vendetta
ranch that's been through an ugly, bitter, prolonged divorce after a marriage undertaken with no prenup
in summary, beloved, ithaca lemon beet hummus Tastes
there is no other, more accurate description to be given to this garbanzo bean alchemy, and i must call it such, for the flavor of this creation could not have been wrought by any means other than sorcery, and it is not my place to try and cage this substance with my tiny mortal words
i fear what consequences i may yet face for even the sheer gall of an attempt
Thank you all for the kind comments in my last post. I'm sad to hear that many of you experienced the same pain from your own family as well. It's hard, but I hope we'll all be able to heal as much as we can, and still find beauty in this world.
Here's one of my old paintings that always made me happy. I recently returned from visiting the in-laws in Europe and the architecture there has been such an inspiration for new art. I'm excited to share those soon! <3
I drew this, then forgot, then remembered last night.
I feel 'meh' about it but I'll post it anyway LMAO for those that might enjoy Trahearne.
I'll try to see if I can have a better version of him later at some point... no promises LOL
I'm so mad that post was misinformation because there is actually an EXTREMELY important conversation to have about the production schedules artists are forced into. There's no need for exaggeration, the conditions are bad.
I work for webtoon. My publication schedule is weekly. While publishing I'm required 10-15 pages a week. Fully colored.
This means I'm finishing a 150 page fully colored graphic novel every 10-15 weeks.
When I am not working, I am not getting paid. Any time off is out of my own pocket. I don't get healthcare. They do not provide any assistants. They expect me to promote myself; they chose to deprioritize me before I even launched and gave me an end date half a year in. I never had a chance.
And this is the industry standard! Every company has artists forced into crunch hours, overtime, and burnout. Artists are literally dying early due to it. So many of my friends can't afford to go to the doctor.
It's unsustainable and untenable, and it's also the expectation our audiences have.
If we want to have this conversation, there's plenty of conversation to be had with the realities of the situation. It's bad as is.
knitting tutorial made by a twenty-something knitting influencer: 18 min long, 12 of those minutes being the intro and a sponsor plug, they show the first few steps of the tutorial at the slowest speed known to man, they show the most important steps at a neck-break speed, they stop every five seconds to talk about what they just did, 40,000 comments filled with questions ranging from insightful to âhow do i knitâ, filmed with a camera that costs more than a car, the tutorial is incorrect.
knitting tutorial made by a seventy-something grandmother: two min long, filmed 17 years ago, shows you what you want with the skilled patient hands of a beloved deity, made with the worldâs shittiest camera, the best video on the fucking internet, four comments and 30 views, you lose the video and never find it again.
Summary: After ten years, you've finally got your shot at your revenge. You've found the Hero. You have him in your sights.
-----
Pull the trigger.
Youâve worked too hard not to pull the trigger. The sweat, blood and tears youâve shed have been the least youâve given to be here. The air is crisp and clean nearly a hundred feet up in a pine tree overlooking a remote forest. Youâre probably the only person in the world capable of spotting the brown, camouflaged building spanning the length of the small river running through the valley. Thereâs a hologram of the river itâs covering playing over the buildingâs walls. Hell, there are even birds flicking occasionally across the illusion, not often enough to draw attention, but just often enough their movement sends your eyes darting to other trees, trying to find where they went.
You breathe in the scent of sun-heated sap so slowly that it takes a solid minute for your lungs to expand. Your pupils flex and adjust whenever the wind rocks your tree. The window youâve been staring at for the past hour remains in your focus.
The Sun, hair just as fake-gold as it was ten years ago, sleeps on. Heâs definitely older now that you can see him in real life instead of on magazine covers or under studio lights. The skin of his neck is loose and folded under the weight of his chin drooping towards his chest. His eyes flicker under his eyelids. The bastard still has the audacity to dream. His arms are crossed over the sun motif emblazoned across his breastplate, his dust-covered boots kicked up on his desk so you can see how worn the soles are. Judging by the way his lips tremble, heâs snoring.
Pull the trigger.
You exhale. This is when you should do it. When your shoulders drop and the wind dies so that, for a moment, the world stands still. There are no whispers across the canopy. Every bough is frozen. The reflection of the sun in the river is overcome by a well-timed cloud and the Sunâs head tilts back to expose the long line of his throat.
The trigger presses back against your finger like an eager puppy. Thereâs nothing special about the bullets, nothing special about this gun. Itâs not the right weapon for what youâre asking it to do, but youâve had longer and harder shots. You know that youâll shoot true and the confidence steadies your hand even more. You smoothly pull--
If you kill a Hero, thereâs no going back.
Your pupils dilate at the memory. For a moment you donât see the Sun; you see her with her face burned as red as her prom dress. You try to dispel the image, try to remember that she didnât die in her prom dress, but itâs too late.
I want you to live, Elian.
Youâre suddenly aware of how your lungs ache and your legs burn from the way theyâre wrapped around the tree and the bark is digging into your cheek and your fingers are like ice on the trigger. Youâre out in the middle of nowhere. This is the Sunâs private residence. The security must be insane even if there doesnât seem to be anyone else around. Whatâs your exit strategy again? Your thoughts scatter as her voice rings through your head again.
More than anything, I want you to live.
-------Ten years ago----
Youâre what the heroes tactfully call a nuisance. A juvenile delinquent with powers, aka a kid that the police arenât equipped to handle and the local Hero chapter is too overqualified and too understaffed to address often.
 Your moral compass has never had a true north and it only gets worse the more your powers develop. Soon you arenât just stealing your momâs car â youâre stealing the neighborâs and then the neighborâs neighborâs and then the neighborâs neighborâs neighborâs until youâre breaking into houses at the top of the hill and joyriding in a car worth more than your entire neighborhood together.
You find out pretty quickly that the heroes care a lot more when money is involved.
You spend your first night in jail after getting chased for three hours in a neon green lambo by the four heroes packed like sardines in a standard issue SUV. Itâs laughably easy to out-drive them, choking around corners and careening down alleys that you scouted in the afternoon. Honestly, it would have been easy to get away, but your mom called just as the tank hit empty, asking when you were coming home. Â You decided to give the heroes a break before they decided to play too rough with a minor.
Mom isnât thrilled when you tell her you wonât be home in time for school tomorrow.
You kind of expect to be sent to prison the next day when you find out just whose car you stole. The Mayorâs daughterâs car, bought new for her seventeenth birthday a month ago. There are two open secrets about the mayor. One, heâs probably one of the heroes that protect the city judging from how much he praises them every time thereâs a mic nearby. Two, he loves his daughter more than anything else.
So when youâre released the next day with a slap on the wrist? Yeah, youâre surprised.
When youâre released the next day to find the golden-haired, blue-eyed Mayorâs daughter waiting outside? Having just bailed you out?
You feel fear for the first time.
âYou could have at least crashed it,â she says when she notices you gaping at her from the end of the parking lot. Sheâs leaning against the hood of a black SUV that looks a lot like the one the heroes chased you in last night. She waves a hand in the air. âDad says the dents you put in the side will be out by tomorrow.â
Fear, apparently, makes you snarky. âWhat, you wanted to spend another week getting chauffeured by a hero?â
Her brows jerk up towards her hairline. She throws a glance over her shoulder. âYou seeing ghosts? Nobodyâs in there. I drove myself.â
âGood for you,â you say. You think you smell. They didnât give you access to a shower last night. Youâre upwind from her and damnit why are you embarrassed if you smell or not? Your chin jerks forward in a challenge. âYou gonna give me a ride back home?â
Youâre joking, but she nods like it was the plan all along. âLetâs go.â
Is that an answering challenge in her words? Your teeth grind as you force yourself forward. âVery kind of you,â you chirp, swinging up into the passenger seat. The car smells like leather and justice. âJust drop me off on the other side of the train tracks. I can find my way home from there.â
She snorts. âIs that a Footloose reference? Very dated.â
You stare at her profile. ââŠNo. I literally live on the other side of the tracks.â
She flushes. âRight. WellâŠIâm not dropping you off yet. I want to talk first.â
The doors are locked. You swallow as she carefully pulls out of the parking lot and then guns it into the road without looking. Luckily, no oneâs there. âTalk? About what?â
âAbout how youâre going to steal my car again,â she says. âAnd this time youâre going to crash it right.â
âYou hate the color that much?â you joke.
Her tone is not joking. âYou have no idea.â
You donât find out her name until dinner when your momâs managed to entice her into a third slice of homemade pizza. She stares down at the slice while your mom waves for you not to stay up too late before going to bed early. Gamely, youâre already on your fifth helping. Criminal activity takes a lot of energy.
âDoes your mom know who I am?â she asks.
âLike, in theory,â you say. Youâre full and warm as you lean into the hard wooden back of your chair. Mom added olives to your side of the pizza. âShe probably doesnât know youâre the Mayorâs daughter though. Just that he has one.â
âThe MayorâŠright,â she says. Her jaw firms. She flicks some olives off her pizza and then eats half the slice in one bite. âIâm Gina.â
âElian,â you say instead of No, youâre the Mayorâs Daughter. You refill her soda cup before your own, just to show her you can be fancy and have manners too. Sheâs so out of place in your familyâs one bedroom apartment. Her shirt is crisp and white, her gold necklace so shiny, that itâs like thereâs a sepia filter over the eggshell walls and oak cabinets. âSprite. Only the finest for the lady who bailed me out.â
âIâm thinking you can take my car next weekend,â Gina says so abruptly you nearly spit out your soda. Thereâs a hard light in her eyes. âDadâs out of town forâŠbusiness. He wonât notice for a few days. You take it, you get out of the city, you drive it off a cliff once youâve wrecked it doing donuts or whatever.â
âA cliff?â You know exactly where sheâs talking about. Thereâs an abandoned quarry about an hour outside of town. You shake your head. âThatâs where people dump bodies. No way am I going out there.â
âThey find bodies there because itâs outside of Hero Forceâs patrol,â Gina says. She waves her hands in the air so the yellow light from the inset ceiling lights catches on her golden manicure. âIf you think about it, itâs the best place to dump a car. Especially when the heroes are going to be out of town.â
You stare at her. âDid you just admit your dad is part of Hero Force?â
Her eyes skitter away from yours. âNo.â
âYour dad is out of town next weekend.â
âYes.â
âAnd the heroes?â
âMaybe theyâre traveling together.â
âI donât think anyone is supposed to know when the heroes are going to be out of town. Isnât that like a national secret, or something?â
âWeâre not a big enough chapter for it to be a national secret,â she denies. She bites her lip. âProbably a state secret though.â
You stand and your chair chatters against the linoleum. âNo. Absolutely not.â Itâs time for Ms. Mayorâs Daughter to leave.
She scrambles up after you, following you into the living room. âWhy not?! You already mess with the heroes. Werenât you the one who kept breaking into the mall on a motorcycle? You hijacked one of their delivery trucks a month agoââ
âA food delivery truck,â you say. âWhich was more of a commentary about the cityâs investment in Hero Force luxury rather than after school programsââ You bite your tongue. You spin so that the couch stays between you. You glance at your momâs closed door and consciously lower your voice. âHow do you even know that?â
âIâve been watching you,â she says. She laughs without humor, dragging one hand through her golden hair. âSometimes living in this town is like being in a simulation. We have four A-class heroes for a population of 30,000 and everybody loves them. Nobody thinks itâs strange to have walking nukes in a small town. They love my dad. Did you know no oneâs even run against him for the past two elections? It doesnât matter what he does. He owns this place and these people. He has â could commit murder and it would be justified. People would think it would be justice.â
âHe loves you,â you say weakly. Isnât four heroes a pretty normal number? Sure, the ones in your town are big names, but thatâs not weird.
Is it?
âHe loves me so he gets to be a tyrant?â Gina scoffs. âIf heâs even capable of love.â
âIâm not going to mess around with heroesâ civilian identities just because youâve got daddy issues,â you say. When hurt flashes across her face, you wince. âSorry. But itâs one thing to mess with heroes in masks, okay? Messing with a heroâs familyââ
âYou didnât seem to have a problem when you were stealing my car the other night.â
âThat was before I knew your dad was Mr. Solve or whateverââ
âThe Sun,â Gina says.
âWhat?â
âMy dadâs the Sun.â
âThat,â you say, âis so much worse. Didnât he burn some minor villainâs eyes out last week?â
âYes,â Gina says. Her mouth twists. âThe guy got off easy compared to some others.â
You stare at her, momentarily speechless. âAnd you wonder why Iâm not going to antagonize the guy?â
âBut you already do,â Gina says. Her eyes are glinting. She looks so out of place against the dim interior of your home, a radiant girl dressed all in white and gold. She rounds the couch and snatches up one of your hands between two of her own. âEveryone else loves my dad. Except you. My entire life, and youâre the only one who dares to makeâmake statements about Hero Force consumption by stealing their deliveries or make the heroes chase you around an abandoned mall on foot like regular people. You challenge them, Elian. All Iâm asking is that you do it again.â
âThat sounds like a lot more than just crashing your car,â you say. Your voice sounds very far away. You never thought of your actions as so noble. Thereâs a tingling in your stomach that youâve never felt before and your hand is so warm. She sees you. You shake the fantasy out of your head. âIâlook. Iâm flattered, but Iâm not your guy. The heroes know my face. Itâs only a matter of time before I get sent to whatever detention super-powered kids get sent to. I have to graduate high school.â
Rather than discourage her, Gina presses closer. âWhat if I told you thereâs a way to do both?â
Her closeness fogs your brain. âBoth?â
âTake the heroes down a notch and maintain your identity,â she says. She releases you and whirls to get her purse off the couch. âI can help you. We can train so that the heroes never recognize the new you. You can use your powers in new ways. And you can wear this.â
She thrusts a piece of chewed leather into your hands. A mask.
âIâm thinking,â she says, âwe call you Outlaw.â
------ Now ----
You canât shoot. Night is falling by the time you admit it to yourself. You press your back against the rough bark of the tree and stare up at the first stars. You cradle your gun in your hands.
The bloodlust is still there. You arenât a fair lily incapable of staining your petals red (as red as her). So why canât you pull the trigger? Because of her ghost? Her last message to you?
If you kill a Hero, thereâs no going back. More than anything, I want you to live, Elian.
You grind your teeth. Easy for her to say. The dying never have to feel the weight of consequence. They can just say whatever the fuck they want.
You arenât thinking when you climb down the tree. Your powers give you a lot of things â speed and healing, an instinct for the outdoors, and excellent eyesight. You donât need to look to find one branch and another, dropping to the forest floor in ten-foot increments. By the time your boots hit the ground, you know what the problem is.
Unlike your other kills, this one is personal. It was never going to be enough just to see him dead. You need him to know why youâve got him in your sights.
The Sun is an old school hero. The traps you were so afraid of are predictable, turns out. You pick your way around bear traps and landmines, sharp eyes easily picking out silver trip wire when it glints in the moonlight. There are cameras, but thereâs likely only one person with access. In the past ten years of following the Sun, youâve learned two things about him.
One, heâll kill the things he loves before he loses them.
Two, he doesnât trust anyone but himself.
You get to the building inside of an hour. The first floor is hidden by steel shutters and thereâs no light peeking out from behind them. The second floor window where heâd been sleeping for most of the day shines with the faint blue glow of a television.
The front door looks like a bankâs with how thick it is. Thereâs a keypad and a biometric scanner you donât have a prayer of hacking.
Thatâs okay. Youâve already seen your way in.
You climb up the nearest pine tree. The Sun likes to think of himself as a competent hero, but too many mayoral kickbacks over the years made him soft. He surrounded himself with powerful heroes and never once struggled to win. Because of that, heâs missing some caution and common sense. The buildingâs first floor is locked up tight, but the windows on the second are regular glass.
And he hasnât trimmed the tree line back far enough.
You fire your first shot of the night into his empty desk chair, exactly where his chest had been hours earlier. Immediately a siren sounds, and the TV glow coming through the officeâs open door is consumed by bright light. You run two steps and then leap, neatly flipping through the empty window frame. Your boots slide for a moment on the broken glass and you catch yourself on the edge of his desk. There are medical papers scattered across it, prescriptions and diagrams of the face and eyes and heart.
You chew your cheek at the sight of a pill bottle. There had been rumors that the Sun is sick with his own radiation poisoning. Itâs good youâre here before nature runs its course.
The siren wails for another beat before dying. The silence rings. Your heartbeat picks up as your ears strain to hear if anyoneâs coming to meet you. Strange. The Sun had to have been the one who shut off the alarm.
So where is he?
You hold your gun out in front of you and check your mask. The Sun knows who you are by now, but you want him to see the mask she gave you. The handsewn leather, patched more times than you can count, is recycled from one of his old leather jackets. It feels oddly poetic to be dressed in the first iteration of your costume, cowboy hat tipped back and a biker vest embroidered with the name she gave you.
Is the Sun hiding? You creep out of the office, eyes darting from the quaint landscapes hanging on the wall to the tasteful wooden floors. The Sunâs safe house feels more cabin-y than you expected. The property deed has been in his name for the past fifteen years. Did Gina ever visit? Her ghost runs ahead of you, golden nails dragging along the peach wallpaper to the first open door on the left. She looks over her shoulder and smiles.
There are times when youâre glad for the afterimages your brain conjures. This is not one of those times. You donât think sheâd be happy to see what youâre about to do.
You swing around the doorway gun first, a snarl on your lips. âYou old bastard, drop whatââ
The smell of antiseptic hits your nose first, dashing away the red haze filling your vision in an instant. A TV murmurs against the wall, some rerun of an old western, but itâs not what holds your attention.
Thereâs a bed in the center of the room. The Sun sits at bedside, his attention wholly invested on the hand heâs holding up. Carefully, he applies gold paint to the nails without once looking up at you.
The woman in the bed is obscured with white gauze and beige compression bandages. Her breathing is soft and even. The one eye you can see is closed and still. No dreaming, no awareness.
âOutlaw,â the Sun says. He gently sets Ginaâs left hand down on her stomach and picks up her right. He squints at her pinky nail. âClose the office door, would you? I donât want the heat to escape.â
âWhat,â you breathe, âthe fuck.â
-----Ten years ago ----
Itâs a good year with Gina. You never realized how friend-starved you were until she was there, over at your house every day after school. She always makes it sound like sheâs coming over to talk about the Outlaw thing, but thereâs other stuff too. Movies and cooking and tutoring.
âLife is about balance,â Gina says sagely during one such tutoring session. âBesides, even heroes donât go on more than two missions a month. Weâre doing just fine.â
Thereâs always a pressing need to do more though. Whenever you pull off a particularly daring heist, she smiles this secret and pleased smile that makes your stomach flip. Sometimes, when the two of you watch news coverage of your getaways, she murmurs how impressed she is, how smart you are, how cool your powers are.
It makes you want to do anything for Gina.
Youâre watching the news one day, waiting for a recap of how you stole the Sunâs favorite shield from the armory, when a rare story comes on. A Hero is dead, some guy named Ibis from Atlanta. There arenât any leads to the culprit except for eyewitness accounts of a mysterious, winged super-powered individual flying low over the city, hiding in storm clouds.
âIâd kill a Hero,â you blurt out.
Gina jerks so hard that the popcorn bowl goes flying out of her hands. She doesnât seem to notice. âWhat?â
âN-not your dad or anything,â you say quickly although yes, if you had to kill anyone, youâd start with the man who makes Gina cry like that. âJustâŠin general. The news anchor said Ibis was connected to a civilianâs death, right? I could kill a Hero like that.â
âNo,â Gina says. She drops off the couch to kneel by you. âNo, Elian.â
You flush like youâve done something wrong. You sink into your hoodie. âIâm not going to, Iâm just sayingââ
âIf you kill a Hero, thereâs no going back,â Gina says. Sheâs too close, so close that you can see the flecks of gold hidden in her eyes. âYour lifeâitâs not like what weâve been doing. Dadâs got rules when it comes to stealing. But if you kill a hero?â She shudders. âI want you to live, Elian.â
âI got itââ
âPlease,â she blurts out. The plea in her voice makes you really look at her despite the pounding of your heart. Her eyes are wild and her mouth is pressed into a thin line. âNo matter what. Promise me.â
âIââ No matter what? You slowly shake your head, trying to get away from the instinctive desire to agree with her. âI-if someone is really bad, Iâdââ
âElianââ
The tension makes you truthful.
âIf your dad hurt you, Iâd kill him,â you say. When she rears back, this time you follow. You brace your arm against the couch so you can lean into her space. With your other hand, you trace the fading burn on her cheek that could pass for an old sunburn if you didnât know the truth. âI know you donât think he will, but heâs been erratic lately. And I know about his temper. If he hurts you, Iâd kill him.â
The air thickens between you. Itâs rare that you donât back down, but youâre not backing down now, staring into her eyes. Competing wills. For a moment you let everything you feel come to the surface. Your frustration when she visits with that fucking shadow in her smile, the helplessness when thereâs another burn on her arm, the adoration when sheâs just there.
Gina shudders and looks away first. She licks her lips. âIâIâŠappreciate what youâre saying, but Iâm fine. You agreed I got to make the rules for Outlaw. Iâm telling you one. Donât kill heroes.â
Sheâs pulling away. You do too, falling to her side and sitting next to her rather than hovering over her. You try for a careless shrug but fall short. How can she make you feel so powerful one second and so powerless the next? You avert your eyes. âI wonât kill heroes,â you promise.
You hear her suck in a breath. âGood. Because I need you alive.â
âI do like being alive,â you say and donât finish the sentence with with you.
âWeâre done studying,â she decides. She darts up towards the kitchen. âIâm getting another bowl of popcorn before we start the movie. You want some?â
You stare at your reflection in the dark TV. Your jaw works. Finally, you say, âNah. Iâm good. Iâll just eat it off the floor.â
âDonât be gross, Elian!â
------Now.----
âI will regret that day for the rest of my life,â the Sun says. He hasnât looked at you once. His eyes are glued to the steady rise and fall of Ginaâs chest. He times his breathing to hers and then sighs. âWhat a fool I was. Drunk on power.â
Youâre standing on the opposite side of the bed. Your gaze flicks from Gina to him and back again. âIs she ever conscious?â
âItâs a medically-induced coma,â the Sun says. âThe doctors say she should wake up any day now that most of her injuries have healed. Her last surgery was the final one. Now itâs up to her.â
This might be the first time in ten years that youâve breathed. You suck in air greedily and imagine you can taste her scent under the layers of sickness and medicine. âThey told me she died.â
âI told Hero Force you did it,â the Sun says. Thereâs no remorse in his voice. âThey always tell villains they were successful, so they donât try again.â
A decade of rage slides around your ribs. âYou fucking bastard.â
âI did think it was your fault ten years ago.â He carefully picks up Ginaâs left hand again to apply a second coat. It takes all your willpower not to slap him away from her. âIf you hadnât stolen Hero Force data, I wouldnât have had to come after you with my full power. She would never have been in the line of fire.â
Youâre fists shake at your sides. âI didnât steal Hero Force data, I stole your fucking car. Donât rewrite history.â
âThere was Hero Force data in that car.â
âIt was your Porsche, your civilian Porsche!â
âMy fault to have left sensitive data out,â the Sun says. His confession surprises you into silence. âBut I had to get it back no matter what. Then I blamed you by thinking how if youâd only asked me to take my daughter to Prom, I wouldâve known she was in the car.â
âSheâs not your property and itâs not the 1800s, of course I didnât ask if I could take your daughter toââ
âIâm telling you what I thought,â the Sun interrupts. He finally looks at you. He looks worse than he did earlier, the years cutting deep lines into his face. There are black bags of exhaustion under his watering eyes. He breathes out shakily. âI had to tell myself it was your fault. It was the only way I could survive, Elian.â
Your real name shocks you. You stumble back. âHow do you know that name?â
âShe calls for you sometimes,â the Sun says. He drags a hand over his face before grimly returning to his daughterâs nails. âSheâs never been really conscious for long. The d-damage took a long time to heal. But when sheâs awake, she calls for you and she calls for Outlaw. Wasnât hard to put the pieces together.â
Your chest throbs. âI should have been here. You should haveâI could haveââ
âBlaming you let me keep her by my side,â the Sun says. âI donât expect you to forgive me or even understand me. But IâŠI regret more than anything what Iâve done to my daughter.â
âYouâre going to regret it even more,â you say. The rage you feel is like a tidal wave. Ten years. Ten years. You could have held her hand through her recovery. You could have been there for her. And this selfish asshole who never even loved her like a father should took that away from you. You remember your gun. âYou never deserved to be her father.â
âI didnât, did I?â the Sun asks. He sets her hand down and swallows hard. He looks down the barrel of your gun without flinching. âShe says one other thing, you know. When she asks for you.â
The curiosity stills your trigger finger. âWhat?â
âShe says, Donât kill heroes.â
Your face contorts. Thereâs the memory of popcorn in your mouth and the heat of her eyes on you. âYeah, she said that to me before too. Back when I offered to kill you the first time.â
The Sun hangs his head. If heâs surprised to hear that, he doesnât show it. âI wasnât a good father.â
âNo. But she didnât want you dead.â
Understanding dawns. âDonât kill heroes.â
âExactly.â You tilt your head. âDo you feel like a hero?â
His lips tremble. His gaze drifts back to his daughter. Her eyes are flickering under eyelids. âIâIââ
The trigger presses back against your finger, eager and ready. âDo you?â
He licks his lips. âN-no,â he whispers. He closes his eyes. âNo, I donât suppose I do.â
This time, itâs easy to take aim. Steady your breath. Andâ
Fuck.
âLeave,â you say. You drop your gun back to your side and scowl when the Sunâs eyes fly open in surprise. âIf you do what I say, youâll live long enough for Gina to decide what to do with you. Leave and donât tell anyone about this.â
The Sun shakes his head. âNo, no I canât leave herââ
âThen die here,â you snap. You bare your teeth at him. âLeave. Weâll be gone in a week. Maybe she wakes up and calls you. Maybe sheââ You take a deep breath. âWell. Maybe she doesnât. Either way, your part is done here.â
âI need to be there when she wakes up. Please, Iâm her dadââ
âYouâre her murderer,â you say. More than anything, you want to pick Gina up and run out of here before the Sun can stop you. You eye the monitors and know three people you need to call for advice before you even attempt to move her. A week should be just enough time to disappear. âYou think you deserve to stay by her side?â
The Sun opens his mouth twice before he finds words. âI justâlet me stay until she wakes up. That way Iâll know.â
âI spent ten years thinking she was dead,â you say. âYou can last a month in limbo. If I have to ask you again, weâll finally see whoâs stronger now that Iâm all grown up.â
The Sun picks himself up slowly. You think he cries. Youâre not sure. He may even plead with you again. Youâre deaf to it. Your brain has given up on splitting your attention and every atom of your being is homed in on Gina.
Sheâs alive. Sheâs alive.
You kneel at her bedside and wait for her to wake up.
----
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This week's short story for my Triple Shot and above tiers is about a world where being loved adds years to your lifespan!
Based off this prompt (X): Love determines how long you live, some people are in their hundreds, but some donât even live to be 20.
I like to think there's small ways the people in your order remember Sieran, Forgal and Tybalt
Maybe it's whispers agents who will subtly always buy you a glass of apple cider, or salute with their left paws when you pass by in that 'look and you'll miss' it way of their order.
Maybe some of the more 'out and proud' agents, lurking at the base or in the Pact, refer to you with a nod of "Lightbringer Rightpaw", or charr regard you as the living gladium of a three-person warband. Maybe yourself and Demmi had apples tattooed on your left shoulders
Maybe norn refer to you as Forgalson/dottir/kin and Vigil soldiers add "Warmaster" to that title, or leave trinkets in your honour to any shrines of Ox; letting the spirit know it's last shaman's grandchild is still going strong. Maybe there's a norn tattoo of an ox inked across your body, horns up, eyes bright. Almorra still refers to you as "Forgal's cub" no matter how many points you have on the old man.
Sylvari regard you with wonder, and speak of your teachings in the Dream - Sieran's become a figure of lore, a teacher even beyond her life, of sacrifice and heroism and the importance of being yourself.
Some call you her final lesson, other Magister's still call you her Novice, largely if you're caught daydreaming or trip over a stack of books. You're almost sick of the plant puns, calling you her root, or her petal still floating on the wind. There's a small club for romance novel enthusiasts that call themselves "the Cycle of Sieran", with your permission, who cover their hands over their hearts and smile when you pass.