For so long, these words lived with me. Their existence just words in a journal, secrets in my notes app, and sometimes sprinkled across my blog. But soon, they'll no longer exist in my sole existence.
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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Your usual CriMi stuff. Guns. Someone's being shot.
Author's note: Was on my nth rewatch when I thought about this. It's basically season 6 episode 21 - The Stranger. This isn't any good, but I needed to let the idea out and figured I could share it with you.
Words: 4.939
“It’s so unnecessary. There’s too much blood and gore and… bleh…”
When Spencer invited me to the horror movie festival at the cinema complex in town, I didn’t expect it to be a group activity. For a stupid, naive moment, I thought the resident genius had actually asked me out on a date but when Penelope and Derek rocked up, I realized it wasn’t a date.
I had been working at the BAU for about four years. When I first started working there, it was very hard for me to merge with the already super tight group. I didn’t want to impose, so I merely stayed in the background and only did what was asked of me. Until there was one time where I didn’t agree with our boss, Aaron Hotchner, and told that right to his face.
Ever since, the team held me in high esteem, even Aaron.
It also brought me and Spencer closer together. Our bond had grown stronger on the field, and subsequently also off the field. I can’t remember at what point we started hanging out after work, too, but it was long before I actually started to develop feelings for my coworker.
So, when he asked me out to the movies, my heart leapt with joy.
I had donned a cute outfit, did my hair and makeup all prettily, despite having just come off a twelve-hour workday.
And then Penelope and Derek joined and I realized Spencer had not only asked me, but our coworkers, as well. It stung, at first, but in the end, I had such a nice time that I didn’t care for it as much anymore.
“Garcia, it’s a slasher film,” Spencer retorted to our blonde coworker. “How do you do a slasher film without violence?”
“You imply it,” Penelope said, almost angrily.
“Baby, the movie is called Slice 6. What were you expecting?” Derek questioned, grinning.
Penelope’s eyes widened, an answer at the ready. “Uh, a refreshing beverage with a twist of comedy.” Spencer and I chuckled at the same time, and our eyes met for a second. “I’m gonna have nightmares for a week.”
I tilted my head slightly so I could look past Spencer at Penelope. “With everything that we do and see on a daily basis, that got to you?” I asked her.
“Listen, Blaze, you may be all Sigourney Weaver ass-kicking tough, which is awesome–” I giggled at the nickname Penelope had baptized me with on that day I stood up against Hotch. “But the mystical mavens of innocence like myself jump at things that go bump in the night.”
Penelope was so intense and dramatic most times, it was my favorite thing about her.
“Why are you worried? I’m sure that Morgan will protect you,” Spencer added, then looked up at me to share in the upcoming joke. “As long as he’s not jumping out of his chair like a prepubescent schoolgirl.”
The three of us laughed at Derek’s expense before he started to defend himself. “The only reason I jumped is ‘cause you guys woke me up.”
“How could you sleep during that?” Penelope asked, grabbing onto Derek’s bicep. It gave me the urge to do the same with Spencer, but I withheld myself from doing so. Instead, I looked up at him and studied his features for a second.
His side profile really was remarkable. With his sharp jawline and his button nose. I liked his hair short, in comparison to how long it was just a year prior. I liked the dimples in his cheeks when he smiled and I liked how his tie was perpetually crooked. I knew I shouldn’t fall for my coworker, but with Spencer, you couldn’t help but fall for him.
“Villain,” Spencer’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
“What?” Derek asked, which reassured me he wasn’t talking to me.
“In movies, UnSubs are called “villains”.”
Derek chuckled. “My bad.”
As the four of us continued our walk towards the car, I couldn’t help my mind to wander. While I was disappointed it wasn’t an actual date, I actually really enjoyed it. Mostly because I had Spencer whispering facts into my ear about the movie or things that didn’t make a lot of sense scientifically, calming the fear that had built up inside of me due to the suspense.
“Do you wanna know why horror movies are so successful?” Spencer then asked us.
I couldn’t help but smile while Derek asked, “Why’s that, Genius?”
“They prey on our instinctual need to survive,” he started. “In tribal days, a woman’s scream would signal danger and the men would return from hunting to protect their pack. That’s why it’s always the women and not the men who fall victim to the bogeyman.”
I smiled and finally stopped fighting my instincts to grab his arm. “Count on you, Reid, to break a movie down to science,” I said, softly squeezing the fabric of his coat. Almost like a secret code to tell him that I loved it when he whispered facts to me during the movie. “My favorite thing about horror movies is the suspense factor,” I then continued.
“Oh, the ticking clock,” Spencer added, eyes widened slightly for dramatic effect.
I wiggled my eyebrows, a grin tugging at my lips as I lowered my voice to a suspenseful hush. “The helpless victim walks through the dark… Shadows reaching out to get her.”
Then, Spencer went on, his voice lowering an octave to add a bit of spookiness to his own words. “A sudden noise draws her attention. Is someone there–” He leaned down to say in my ear, “or is it just in her head?”
“It’s totally unrealistic,” Penelope cut through our scary-movie-rundown. “No one should be walking through a dark alley by themselves at night.”
Derek cleared his throat, drawing attention to himself. “Hello?”
“Ah, no one should be walking through a dark alley without a Derek Morgan by their side,” Penelope corrected herself, grinning up at the man beside her.
“But the best part of a horror movie,” Spencer went on. “You never know when the end is gonna come.”
In my mind, I thought, I don’t think I wanna know when the end is gonna come, though I was only thinking of the end of our night.
“Well, I think the end of this lovely night has come,” Derek said when we had reached the cars and Pen was stifling a yawn. “Another day at work tomorrow,” he reminded us as though we needed it.
Spencer had carpooled with Penelope and Derek. They had just returned from work while I had to go home first to feed my cat. But instead of joining them by Derek’s car, he remained by my side, even though I had let go of his arm to do so. Seemingly having noticed this, Derek looked at his coworker.
“You coming with us, Reid?” he asked.
Glancing over at me, he shook his head. “I think we’ve learned from this movie that we should never leave a woman alone during the night. I’ll see to it that Blaze gets home safe.”
A flutter erupted in my stomach whilst heat crept up to my cheeks. I was lucky that it was so dark, so no one would be able to notice. “Oh, that’s fine, Spence. I’m sure I won’t be murdered on the way home.”
“No, I insist,” he said and stepped forward towards my car.
Penelope grinned and winked at me before saying, “Well, Blaze, seems you’ve got your very own knight in shining armor.”
Completely ignoring the effect this insinuation had on my body, I chuckled. “More like brains in shining armor, you mean.”
Only momentarily, and only to give me a hug, Penelope let go of Derek’s arm. “Tell him how you feel tonight,” she whispered into my ear.
Penelope Garcia was the sole confidante privy to my secret crush on Spencer. Surrounded by a team of keen profilers, one might assume others would catch on, yet fortunately, my feelings remained unnoticed by all except Penelope. It was she who skillfully coaxed the admission from me. Since then, our weekly girls' nights became a sanctuary, overflowing with ice cream and dissecting Spencer Reid's flirtations of the week. Penelope's enthusiasm often led me to believe Spencer reciprocated, only for reality to swiftly dispel such notions upon our next encounter.
“You know I won’t,” I whispered back, only to earn a glare from the blonde.
“Bye, my loves!” Penelope waved as she made a beeline towards Derek’s car.
Once Spencer and I had returned the goodbyes to our coworkers, we got into my car. Silence engulfed us, only broken by the soft hum of the engine and soon thereafter, the music playing from the radio. I felt a tingle on the back of my neck, suddenly completely aware that I was all alone with my best friend.
“Did you enjoy the movie?” He then asked when we drove off.
I hummed. “Mm-mmm, yeah. My favorite moment was when the slicer’s brother was in the closet. I did not see that coming.” From the corner of my eye, I caught Spencer’s wide smile and the nod of his head.
“Yeah, I noticed that. I believe you nearly broke my hand from how hard you were squeezing it.”
My cheeks flushed again at the memory of us holding hands during the movie, just because I was scared. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered, chuckling.
“No, don’t be,” he said. “I didn’t mind it.”
When I looked over at him for a split second, he was already looking at me, giving me a warm smile. Spencer had the most beautiful smile, one that reached his eyes with a twinkle. Not falling in love with this man was impossible.
During the car ride, the two of us rehashed our favorite parts of the movie before we lapsed into conversation about work. It was inevitable not to talk about the most recent case we had as it was still so fresh in our minds.
“Why don’t you come up for a moment?” Spencer asked when we had arrived at his place. “I can tell you’re still a bit shaken up from the case and the movie hasn’t done much good to help that feeling.”
I hesitated. It wasn’t like I hadn’t been to his apartment before, we’d spent many a day together after hours, just hanging out. But the idea that this evening was a date still haunted the back of my mind. Then again, the idea of being home alone with the anxiety still sitting on my chest didn’t entice me either.
“Uhm, sure,” I heard myself say before unbuckling and putting the car in park.
His apartment was cold when we walked in. We had been on the case for a couple of days, so Spencer had turned down the heating, of course. Whilst he took care of turning it back on, I kicked off my shoes and went to find a blanket to wrap around me in hopes it would warm me up a bit.
As I waited for Spencer to return, I replied to a couple of messages from my mother, my sister and Penelope that I had missed during the movie or, in the last case, during the drive home.
Tell him!!!
Penelope’s message read, but it was quickly forgotten when Spencer returned with cups of tea, handing one over to me before sitting down next to me. The steam of the hot beverage wafted in my face and the aroma of it alone told me it was chamomile tea, my favorite.
As Spencer and I settled onto the cozy couch, steaming cups of tea in hand, the ambiance of the dimly lit room enveloped us in a sense of tranquility. Conversation flowed effortlessly between us, seamlessly transitioning from discussions about our latest case to lighter, more random topics. Spencer's animated gestures and thoughtful insights never failed to captivate me, his intellect a constant source of admiration.
Lost in our exchange, time seemed to slip away unnoticed, until the credits of the movie we had intended to watch began to roll. With a shared chuckle, we realized we had become so engrossed in conversation that we hadn't even started the film. Determined not to let the evening go to waste, we decided to press play anyway.
However, the warmth of the room combined with the soothing rhythm of the movie soon lulled us into a state of relaxation. Before we knew it, our eyes grew heavy, and the soft cushions of the couch beckoned us into a peaceful slumber. Side by side, cups of tea empty on the coffee table, we drifted off into a contented sleep, the gentle glow of the screen casting a serene aura over the room.
I was startled awake the next morning by the sound of my phone ringing and buzzing on the coffee table. Slowly but surely, my brain started to wake too, which was the moment it dawned on me where I was and what was happening.
Spencer and I had fallen asleep on the couch, my head on his shoulder, his arm wrapped around me. The idea of it alone sent shivers down my spine. Though I couldn’t revel in the feeling for too long when my mind snapped back to the ringing on the coffee table.
Garcia was calling me.
“Hello?” I greeted, unsure about what she was calling me about.
“Sorry to be calling so early, my sweetling, but duty’s calling,” she informed me. “So, get Reid up and get your sweet asses to the BAU.” At the mention of his name, my eyes flicked towards Spencer next to me. He was rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, making him look like an adorable toddler.
The words finally registered in my brain, causing me to furrow my brows in confusion. “Wait– How do you–”
“I came to pick you up at your place, but when you weren’t here, I figured you’d have stayed at Spencer’s considering the movie we watched last night,” she explained with that cheeky tone in her voice that told me she was smirking all the way through.
I cleared my throat as I removed the blanket from my body. “Right – We’ll be right there.”
“Drive careful, my love. Toodaloo.”
Once Penelope had hung up, I nudged Spencer along. The two of us got ready in silence before heading out the door and getting into my car. We only stopped at the coffee shop at the corner of the street where Spencer got us both coffees.
Entering the BAU, the two of us were quickly joined by some of the team, though only Penelope shot me a knowing look at the outfit I was wearing; yesterday’s clothes. Rossi, however, was only interested in hearing about the movie we watched, which Spencer was all too happy to divulge into.
“What we didn’t see coming was that the slicer’s brother was in the closet,” he mentioned, which made me smile. It was the exact moment we had talked about the night before.
“Frightening,” Rossi commented as the four of us moved through the hallways.
“Did you tell him?” Penelope asked in a whisper, hooking her arm with mine.
I shook my head. “I chickened out,” I said, earning a stern glare from the blonde. “I just– I don’t want anything to change between us, Pen. We’re in a really good place right now a-and I don’t wanna blow that.”
“Speaking of horror,” Rossi’s comment had us all stopping in our tracks when we noticed Strauss talking to Hotch in his office.
The four of us looked at the scene in front of us as Spencer asked, “What’s Strauss doing here?”
“Whatever it is, I cast my vote on “not good”,” Penelope replied.
The four of us piled into the briefing room where Derek already was, ready to be presented with the case. It took a few moments before Hotch joined us, undoubtedly getting a stern talking to from Strauss. “Let’s get started,” he muttered once he walked through the door.
Penelope briefed us about the case and we were soon on the jet to San Diego, bouncing theories off one another with the first impressions we had about the case. As we started building the profile, the UnSub attacked again, leaving us with four victims before we were able to give a profile.
While Morgan, Rossi and Hotch delivered the profile to the rest of the police department, Spencer and I were tasked to inform the officers on-campus. The entire time we were there, Spencer allowed me to do most of the talking, only chiming in when he felt necessary. It was the perfect dynamic of going back-and-forth.
Spencer and I turned away from the girls we had been talking to and convened together a little further away, bouncing theories off each other. I was in the middle of a sentence when Spencer reached out and wiped my cheek with his thumb.
"Eyelash," he said, showing me the single lash he had caught on his thumb. The tantilizing electricity zapped between us, sending shivers down my spine.
Before I could say anything else, we were whisked away on the next part of our case. There was never a moment to breathe.
There were two more victims after that, two in one go before we found who the UnSub could be. As we all geared up to get Greg Phinney, Spencer turned towards me with a worried look on his face.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Will you be careful?” his question was intertwined with mine, making it almost impossible to hear it.
I wasn’t sure where this sudden worry had come from. We’d been doing fine for over four years. He had never worried about me until now. “Of course. Always.”
With a quick nod, Spencer turned on his heel to join Derek while I tagged along with Hotch and Rossi. Soon enough, we were informed that Greg Phinney wasn’t at his own apartment and that we’d better floor it towards Kate’s. It was a whirlwind of phone calls and theories and words until Hotch snapped me out of it.
“y/l/n, I want you to come in with me. Leave your firearm here.” There was no time to object, so I handed my gun over to the officer next to me before falling into step with my boss. “Be compassionate and sympathetic to him. Let him tell you how Kate betrayed him and how much you understand his devastation,” he informed me.
I simply nodded my head and with feigned confidence, I knocked on the mahogany door. As the door softly creaked open, a chill swept through me, raising the fine hairs on the back of my neck.
Greg's appearance was ordinary yet unsettling, his features shrouded in an eerie stillness. His eyes, a piercing blue, bore into mine with an intensity that sent a shiver down my spine. They seemed to hold secrets untold, each glance a silent invitation into the depths of his darkness.
His jawline was sharp, set in a firm line that betrayed no emotion. A hint of fear pooled in his eyes, sending a ripple of unease coursing through me. It was as if he knew something I didn't, as if he held the upper hand in a game whose rules remained a mystery.
In that moment, as our eyes locked in a silent standoff, I couldn't shake the feeling that Greg Phinney was more than just a suspect—he was a predator, waiting patiently in the shadows for his next opportunity to strike.
“I never said you could bring in anyone else,” he said to Hotch, but keeping his eyes on mine.
“I know, but I thought if we talked inside we could work this out ourselves,” I retorted, surprising myself with the amount of strength that was audible in my voice.
Greg blinked. “Are you some kind of a negotiator?”
I didn’t respond, but waited for Greg to make the first move. He looked out towards the police cars standing behind me, officers ready to go in when necessary.
“No guns,” he finally said.
“No guns,” I agreed.
Greg opened the door further, revealing that he had Kate in a chokehold with one arm and a knife against her throat, a gun in his other hand. “Okay,” he whispered and cocked his head to the side, urging us to come in. He moved towards the living room with Kate as Hotch and I followed behind.
“Close the door,” he ordered to Hotch, who obeyed politely. “All right. Stand over there.”
Hotch moved over towards the spot Greg was pointing at. “You need to put the gun down,” he said.
“We need to get out of here. Is that gonna happen?” Greg asked instead.
“As long as you’ve got a gun, if one of the agents outside has a clear shot, he’ll take it.”
Inhaling deeply, regaining my determination, I took a tentative step forward. “Tell me what you want, Greg.”
“You know, I don’t want to get locked up again,” said Greg, still holding on very tightly to Kate with a knife against her throat and a gun waving around.
A thousand ideas were whirling inside my head until I landed on one. “Don’t you really want Kate to apologize for making your dad forget your mom?” I asked, cautiously and very slowly approaching Greg.
“No, I didn’t do that though,” Kate chimed in.
My eyes flicked towards Kate, my jaw clenched and my eyebrows furrowed in feigned anger. “Unless the next words out of your mouth are “I’m sorry”, I don’t wanna hear anything else from you.” When I looked back at Greg, I made sure to soften my features. “I understand, Greg. I do. She took care of you. You trusted her. And then she betrayed you as soon as your mother was gone. It must have crushed you when Kate married your dad. How did it make you feel, Greg?”
Greg didn’t know what was happening. I could see the gears behind his eyes whirling whilst he became more and more agitated.
“I’m sorry,” Kate whimpered.
“You felt betrayed, didn’t you, Greg?” I continued, certain of my tactics and it seemed Hotch was on the same page I was.
“Ask her the question, Greg,” he said. Greg looked at my boss in surprise. “Go ahead.” The young man opened his mouth to ask the question he wanted to ask, but hesitated. “Ask her,” Hotch ordered again.
Then, the question Hotch and I had both anticipated rolled off Greg’s lips. “Why not me?” A single tear slipped down Kate’s cheek. “Why not me?!” he asked louder.
“Answer him, Kate,” Hotch ordered.
Kate whimpered and gasped for air before her answer came out in a whisper. “Because you were just a … boy.”
Glancing from Kate towards us and back, Greg said, “But I loved you,” and he almost sounded incredulous as if he couldn’t believe she would never reciprocate his feelings. He tightened the knife against Kate’s throat and I knew something needed to happen. “I loved you.”
Hushed apologies rushed from Kate’s lips as Greg continued to declare his love for the old babysitter.
Behind them, I noticed Rossi sneaking up, gun aimed. Hotch was quick to dive away and as Greg turned, wanting to fire back, I took the opportunity to grab Kate and bring her to safety in a small hallway to our right. Two gunshots went off.
Greg fell to the floor against the sofa. Through the whirlwind happening in my mind, I heard Hotch call for backup as he himself approached the unconscious young man, discarting him of his firearm before checking his pulse.
Once the scene was deemed safe, I guided the distraught Kate outside where I brought her to the EMT’s to get checked up. I made sure she was all right before turning to rejoin my coworkers on the scene when another EMT stopped me.
“Agent y/l/n, is that your blood?” she asked, pointing at my left arm.
When I looked down, the sleeve of my burgundy long sleeve shirt had turned even darker and was slightly ripped. Only then did I realize that the second gunshot wasn’t Rossi firing twice. It had been Greg, wanting to shoot at Rossi but instead nicking my arm.
“Huh,” I said before everything went completely dark.
“You fainted at the sight of blood?” Morgan’s voice chimed through the hospital foyer when he came to pick me up afterwards. I was cleared to go after being treated for the gunshot wound that had grazed my skin. Though I didn’t think it was so bad, I still had to wear a sling for a couple of days.
I shrugged as the two of us fell into step to walk out to the car. “You know, I think it was the adrenaline of it all more than the blood itself,” I retorted with a giggle and hopped into the passenger’s seat while he took the driver’s.
“There’s someone who isn’t all too happy with your actions,” he commented.
I furrowed my brows. “Who?” I asked, certain it wasn’t our boss since it was all his idea.
“Reid, of course,” he replied as though I should’ve known the answer. For a fleeting moment, our eyes met before Morgan focused back on the road. “I think it’s time you and Reid had a good conversation because this is ludicrous.”
Before I could even ask him about any of it, we had arrived at the airport where everyone was waiting for us on the jet. Determined to ask Spencer about what was wrong, I approached him but as soon as he saw me, he put on his headphones. Okay, that’s clear, I thought and instead sat down on the other side of the jet.
“Hey,” Rossi captured my attention. “Good job today, kid.”
I mustered up the best smile I could give. “Thanks, Dave.”
All the way back to Quantico, I pondered about what might be happening inside that genius’ brain. Why could he be upset about me doing my job? He had gotten into danger more often than I had, much to my dismay. Those had been the most harrowing cases; where I’d almost lost him or any of our other team members.
I tried to talk to him when we got back to the BAU, but he simply walked past me and ignored me completely. Though he was going to change his course in a couple of days, I didn’t have much patience for that. So, after a frustrating shower and a change of clothes, I rocked up to his apartment in a fury.
“What the hell did I do wrong that you don’t want to talk to me?!” I asked as soon as he opened his door, pushing past him and dropping my back on the sofa.
“Are you kidding?” he asked, then scoffed. “You put yourself in danger and I’m not allowed to be angry?!” His voice matched mine, the anger dripping from his words.
I shook my head. “No! You put yourself in danger more often than I have and I have never been allowed to be angry at you! I was doing my job, Spence! A dumb bullet just grazed my skin. It’s not like I was inside a building that exploded or got shot in the fucking knee! I’m fine!”
Spencer’s face faltered. His eyes fell to the floor as he tucked his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. “I was… I was scared to lose you, y/n. I heard you were shot and you were in the hospital and I just… I couldn’t believe Hotch would ever put your life in danger like that. I just– I can’t stand to lose you.”
Suddenly everything clicked in my mind. Every subtle touch, every glance sent my way, all the coffees he’d bought me or when he ordered my favorite food on cases, … All along, Spencer Reid might have felt the same way for me as I did for him.
As he kept on babbling about how he was so scared to lose me and what the statistics are of people in our field dying during cases, I took a few tentative steps towards him until I was mere inches before him. For a heartbeat, I hesitated, but then a surge of confidence boosted me. I lifted his chin between my index finger and thumb, forcing him to meet my eyes before I softly kissed his lips.
For a second, I thought I’d made the wrong move until he kissed me back. His lips moved with passion and fervor, his hands covering the sides of my face while my hands moved to his waist, fingers gripping at his shirt.
In the midst of our passionate embrace, the weight of unspoken words hung heavy in the air, mingling with the heat of our entwined bodies. With each tender caress and fervent kiss, it was as if a lifetime of longing was finally being released, flooding our senses with an overwhelming rush of emotion. In that moment, there was no room for doubt or hesitation, only the undeniable truth of our connection, burning brighter than any statistic or fear. As we lost ourselves in the sweet surrender of our love, I knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, we would face them together, bound by a love that was as unstoppable as it was undeniable. And as the world faded into the background, all that mattered was the beating of our hearts, entwined in a timeless rhythm of love and devotion.
"You should have loved her when you had the chance, it’s as simple as that. She is like the sunrise, something pure and good with only the best intentions, the promise of a new beginning. People like that don’t come around often and yet you had the audacity to use her for your own gain. To you she was a good time, a person you’d go to when there was nothing else to do, a convenience nothing more. So don’t you walk around spilling words of how terrible she was to leave you, when you’re the only one to blame."
A girl’s reputation is very often all she has. So fragile, so precious. So easily ruined by one mistake. Lorraine Maraschino didn’t know what she’d gotten herself into that summer. All she knew was that it started when she attended the drag race the kids from Rydell High had organized where she met the guy that would steal her heart and break it in the span of one cruel summer.
A girl’s reputation is very often all she has. So fragile, so precious. So easily ruined by one mistake. Lorraine Maraschino didn’t know what she’d gotten herself into that summer. All she knew was that it started when she attended the drag race the kids from Rydell High had organized where she met the guy that would steal her heart and break it in the span of one cruel summer.
