ease my mind

caleb benjamin cresswell. twenty-six. halfblood. thunderbird alumni. consultant at the department of magical transportation. ❝ most days i wake up with a pit in my chest. there are thoughts that i can't put to rest – there's a worry that i can't place . ❞

[calebcresswell]

“Hey man, how are you holding up?” Caleb asked, coming over to the other with two coffees and holding one out to Joe. He was grateful to see his friend in one piece but it was still important to check up on one another nonetheless. “It’s been a long few weeks, huh?”

@josephoreilly

[calebcresswell]

doloresbarlow​:

“Mmm, it did at points,” Lo replied. Her family was there, but Alaska held some bad memories for her, what her mother did to her and her brother as children, the bullying at school, and what she had done to her sister. Alaska had more bad than good growing up. “Definitely not the summer though, it was still freaking cold. I never did get used to it.”

He didn’t know the full extent of what life had been like for her back in the States but he also wasn’t going to pry given her response. Lo felt like another younger sister to him and the last thing he wanted to do was make her uncomfortable. “I mean that’s fair enough. While the UK isn’t exactly a tropical paradise, I imagine it’s still much warmer than Alaska,” a soft chuckle escaping his lips.

[calebcresswell]

jaiyashdcwan​:

“Well, I don’t know what you’ve been through but I can imagine a job like that not being pleasant. I’ve got respect for those who choose it though.” Because it wasn’t easy, emotionally or physically. “I think it’ll help you in the long run if you do. You just… I dunno Caleb, seems a little like you’re getting the life sucked right outta you.”

“I wouldn’t say it’s that bad,” he insisted, although he wondered if maybe Jaiyash’s words were making a realization click for him. “I guess I’m bad at finding a balance. Pushing myself but also not overdoing it and burning myself out in the process. Does that make any sense?”

[calebcresswell]

theacresswell​:

“You’ve got enough people in your life that compliment you, I don’t think I need to be one of them,” Thea teased. She was a little jealous, to have so many people that loved you so dearly like that was something she could dream of in her own little fantasy but she’d never let on about that to anyone. “No need to be so concerned dear brother, you’ll be just fine. Pretty sure you can’t get hurt on those things,” she commented, though in her planning Thea hadn’t actually looked up dunk tank injuries. She only wanted him to have the shock of entering the cold water. “Hey, I’m not that awful of a person. I’ll let you drip for a while and then warm you up good as new.”

“You say that like my head is too big for my body because of all the compliments I’m supposedly getting,” Caleb snorted playfully. He would probably do good in branching out more, but he was so comfortable in his tight knit group that he couldn’t imagine anything else. “Pretty sure. But not one hundred percent confident,” he pointed out, drawing it out for dramatics but not actually worried he’d end up injured. “Thank you for your kindness and consideration dearest sister. I will definitely be holding you to that when I’m eventually dunked,” Caleb chuckled, having a good attitude about the situation despite his little protests.

[calebcresswell]

doloresbarlow​:

Lo gave a small smile at Caleb’s joke. “Lemon squares kind of remind me of summer, which in my opinion is the best season honestly. And don’t you dare say a joke about living in Alaska and summer,” she replied. “That was by far always the worst part.”

“There is something summery about citrus flavors,” Caleb agreed with a small nod of his head. “I was not going to– scout’s honor,” he chuckled, raising his hands up at her warning. “Worst part? I’m sure it still had its positives.”

[calebcresswell]

doloresbarlow​:

“I’m uh, I’m making some lemon squares, uh, Thea and I got some fresh stuff from the… you know,” she replied. Lo felt like her brain was fried, unsure of how to exactly process everything. “I uh, how good are you at zesting lemons?” she asked.

“Lemon squares? That’s a good choice,” he complimented, keeping a level head as he could hear a bit of tension in Lo’s voice. “I’m pretty decent. Even better that there’s no chance for me to burn anything,” Caleb joked before walking over to pull out a zester and a bowl for the lemon peels.

[calebcresswell]

doloresbarlow​:

closed starter - lo & caleb ( @calebcresswell​ )

Lo was making some food, trying not to think about what had happened. Her brain was running a mile a minute, at times like these she always went into a mode that left her just needing to comfort people, even more than herself. It was hard to put some coherent thoughts together, like she was on auto-pilot. She knew that they should eat something, or drink some water, so that’s why she had been making something, as her brain hooked onto that thought. When she saw Caleb enter the room, she pointed to the sugar on the counter near him. “Can you hand me that sugar there?” she asked. “Did you get a hold of Merle and Piper?”

“Of course I can,” he nodded, reaching for it and not asking any questions as he brought it over to Lo per her request. It seemed like the three of them had to keep themselves busy in their own ways, distractions welcome during a tense and terrifying time like this. “I did,” Caleb nodded, definitely feeling better since getting off the phone with Merle. “They’re home. They’re shaken up, but they’re together and they’re safe.” He had heard her voice and she knew that she and Piper were safe and secure. It was all he could really ask for. “What are you making? Is there anything I can do to help?”

[calebcresswell]

phone / merle & caleb

MERLE: [dials number and lets it ring for a few seconds, her fingers tapping at her leg with each dial tone until he picks up] Caleb?

CALEB: Merle! [he lets out a sigh of relief] I can't explain how good it is to hear your voice. Did you and Piper get home safely? How are you?

[calebcresswell]

erin-mccormack​:

“I’m just saying, maybe I should’ve gotten sober like two weeks earlier than I did. Because as fun as a one-year-sober party is, a combined sober birthday and actual birthday would be amazing.” Erin laughed. “Even if they were a few days apart. Week long party, who doesn’t want that?”

“While I can totally see the appeal in being able to combine them aren’t there also some perks that come with them being on separate days? I mean it sounds to me like it gives you more reasons to throw more parties. If I were you I’d make sure there’s plenty of good food at each event,” he smiled. “A week long party sounds incredible though.”

[calebcresswell]

theacresswell​:

“You say favourite like I have any choice in the matter,” Thea rolled her eyes at him. “But I’ll take the churros since you have them spare,” she said, taking the bag and biting into the fried dough stick, sprinkling cinnamon sugar all over her dress. “Oh trust me, I’ve been scheming since the second I saw it. I’m perfecting my plan– not going to do anything until I’ve perfected it though but you’ll know the second it’s been put into action. You won’t be leaving here tonight until you’ve been dunked into that thing. I’m wondering if you’ve made any enemies here that would like to have a go but honestly you are way too nice to have any and all the criminals you put away once upon a time are in the states so looks like it’s just me who’ll have to aim well.”

“Ouch. You always know how to make me feel special, don’t you?” he clutched his chest as though she’d struck an arrow through it, a light chuckle on his lips as Thea took the churros from him. Caleb raised his eyebrows slightly as she lay out some of her plan onto the table, figuring she’d been thinking about it but not realizing just how vivid the thoughts had been in her mind. “I feel like I should be incredibly nervous and maybe even concered that you have been taking so much care in making sure you send me to my watery fate today,” he chuckled. “Good job the UK has had some decent weather, otherwise you’d need to strike me with a drying spell shortly after to avoid me getting a cold,” Caleb added playfully.

[calebcresswell]

merlerappaport​:

“These are beautiful,” Merle beamed with delight as she was presented with a bouquet. “Thank you, Love,” she said, closing her eyes to inhale the scent of the fresh cut flowers when she was met with the odd odour of… chlorine? Merle opened her eyes once again and noticed something she hadn’t before– a very wet Caleb in front of her. “Should I be worried why you’re dripping?”

@calebcresswell​

“I’m glad you like them, my love,” Caleb smiled warmly, feeling as though a pressure had come from off of his shoulders now that he was sure the flowers had been well received. There had been no reason for them not to be, but he always wanted the best of the best for Merle. “Worried? No, not at all,” he chuckled when she’d pointed out the current state of him. “Although I’m sure Thea would be more than happy to explain to you what happened to me.”

[calebcresswell]

“Got any time to spend with your favorite brother? I even brought you some churros if you needed some convincing,” Caleb chuckled softly, holding out the paper cone with the fried dough inside. “Have you been having a good time? I think I saw a dunk tank earlier and I’m kind of surprised you haven’t figured out a way to get me to participate in that.”

@theacresswell

[calebcresswell]

cassiuscresswell​:

“I mean… I guess it really depends what colour you’re going for..,” Cassius replied awkwardly when asked about which flowers were the best choice. He knew practically nothing about them, apart from a few that were useful in healing so asking him from his help was rather pointless. His mother and cousins rarely received flowers from him as he usually picked more practical gifts that would last longer than a few days.

“Maybe like a dusty rose? I don’t know,” he admitted with a mutter as he continued to look through the selection. “I just want to get Merle a bouquet she’s going to love but that’ll go with everything in her and Piper’s apartment too. Maybe red then? But that feels so predictable.”

[calebcresswell]

doloresbarlow​:

“I’m sure she deals with something similar, even if she didn’t witness it,” Lo replied. “I’m glad you two have each other, taking care of each other, and I’m sure Harry would be glad too.”

“It makes me sad to imagine that,” Caleb admitted, his head dropping slightly. “I’m glad for it too. While we both wish he was here with us, we carry him with us in spirit every single day.”

[calebcresswell]

jonchdecnfinch​:

“That’s very kind of you,” Jonah replied, smiling, “What is it that you have?” he asked, looking at the plate.

“This?” he nodded towards his plate. “Just a chicken pot pie. Sorry I should’ve asked– you eat meat, yes?”

[calebcresswell]

jaiyashdcwan​:

“I hate to say it pal, but if it’s got to that point where you are relying on rubix cubes to keep you busy, maybe you need to look further afield for a more challenging job. That or a step up.” Because given what he did know about Caleb, he couldn’t imagine that being fulfilling for him at all. “And most people spend most of their time in work, it oughta be something you get some joy out of.”

“I used to be an auror but I handed in my badge a while back. I don’t think I could do it again after everything I’ve been through,” Caleb spoke openly to his friend. “But I suppose I can have a look to see if there’s anything else that would challenge me a little more in my day-to-day.”

[calebcresswell]

merlerappaport​:

“Ashamed of it? Caleb. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, you hear me?” she reassured him. “Don’t be silly. I only want to hear about these things whenever you’re ready to tell me about them.” Of course she wanted to know about them as soon as they happened but she wanted Caleb to be comfortable so would never push. “So me staying over helps you sleep better? Okay. I can do that more,” Merle nodded. Piper would understand. Her heart sank though as he continued, hearing about the attacks triggering paralysis. Merle knew something was going on but she’d have never guessed it was to this extent. She didn’t try to force eye contact with him, seeing how difficult this was for him to admit, instead only holding him closer to show that she was here. “I am so sorry you’ve been dealing with all of that, and thank you for letting me in,” she said first of all, pressing a kiss to the back of his hand. “And don’t you dare apologise. I’m just happy I know now.” Whether or not she’d be able to help was another matter. “Is there anything I can do when you’re in that state to help?” she asked. “Am I the only person you’ve spoken to about this?” Merle wondered, her mind now flitting to looking up therapists that could help.

Caleb couldn’t quite bring himself to agree with her, but he nodded his head to assure Merle that he’d heard what she was saying. He had to admit that he felt significantly lighter now that he’d be vocal about this with the person who meant the most to him. It made him realize that speaking to Merle as problems were happening would probably make it easier on him in the future. “Are you sure? I don’t want you to have to change your schedule or plans too much just because of me,” he reached out in between the sheets to take a hand of hers into his, holding onto it tightly as though it helped to ground him in the current situation. “Of course. I never wanted to keep you out I just– I just didn’t want to worry you," a sigh of defeat leaving his lungs, managing to look Merle in the eyes again. “I love you so much. I really lucked out that I have you in my life. Even after all this time,” he spoke with an overflowing enthusiasm, letting his fingers run along her forearm in a comforting motion as he did everything to keep close to her. “I don’t exactly know what helps yet, I’m still figuring that out. But I can do my best to communicate when I can,” Caleb offered. When asked if he’d spoken to anyone else, he shrugged slightly. “I did back in America after the incident. But since moving here I haven’t gone to see a professional or anything, no.”