Caleb Chapel

Caleb Chapel || 29 || Human

[gaiaxarrow]

It would have been so easy to let herself fall back into ways that had only become old through her decision and to place herself in his arms like every part of her wanted to. After so long together there was a certainty that rang through her that she was completely his. No one else would come close; no now, not ever. And yet here she was trying to create some sort of distance between them in a seemingly futile attempt at self sacrifice for his safety. Gaia kept reminding herself that he’d be better off without her and the dangers that her DNA brought with it, especially with what was going on here in LA. She couldn’t help but feel she’d brought Caleb into the warzone rather than her intention of keeping him away from it. But then he’s grinning and playful and for a moment she forgets every intention she had of being selfless and selfishly lets herself enjoy the moment by grinning right back when she shouldn’t be instilling false hope. “I thought it’d be fun to give something new a try. New city, new rules.” It’s at that moment she decides that they’ve spent long enough hovering in the airport and where she’d usually intertwine fingers with his to lead him out, instead she links an arm through his in an attempt at a little more distance.

His declaration that he hadn’t bought a return ticket shouldn’t have the effect that it does but that doesn’t surprise her. She shouldn’t be allowing it to make her heart soar and the thought of feeling whole again with him by her side for however long. But there’s that sinking feeling that the buying of that ticket might be sooner rather than later once she gives him the explanation he deserves. One that she’s not sure she wants to even voice any more but it’s the very least that she owes him after everything that has passed between them. She catches herself once more as the beaming smile his words had brought turns into a more tentative one at the thought of that conversation. “Well I’m glad you don’t have to rush back for anything.” It gave her some time to find the right words and the courage to do it. Once again she finds herself talking to keep things moving. “How was your flight? Nyx and Jaxon will be so happy to see you, not to mention the boys.” The two dogs were likely to give him the reception he deserved where she’d failed.

[calebxchapel]

New city, new rules. Her words and he wonders exactly what she means by them. If this awkward distance between them is one of those new rules and that thought is immediately followed by the question he’s had for her since she’d gone. What had he done wrong? What had he done this time that they couldn’t just fight about with as much intensity as they do their making up. It’s how things went with them and he didn’t know what had been different this time to actually make her pack her things and leave. The question doesn’t get asked right away, because he’d like at least a few minutes of this comfortable feeling he has just seeing that she was okay and still in one piece. Her text had scared him. He didn’t know how bad things were here, but they had to be a certain level of frightening for her to text him. She was a brave girl. Independent. Didn’t mean she couldn’t call on him when she needed him. 

“Flight was long. You know they stopped giving out free snacks? When did that happen?” he asks, but it’s all playful and nothing that really matters to him. She knew that about him, he was sure. He was a freeloader by choice, not by necessity and not getting free snacks on a flight was just something to fuel his love of complaining. Just to give him a mundane topic that seemed to shield them from the reality of the world around them. There were far greater things to complain about, didn’t mean they had to overlook the little things. “It’ll be good to see them,” he nods when she hooks an arm into his, saying that Nyx and Jaxon will be happy to see him. It had been a little bit, but that was his family. Even if there was no marriage or recognized bond holding them together, he’d long ago accepted them as family. The kind he never thought he’d have. “Yeah, I missed my boys something fierce,” he admits, shaking his head as they start to walk out of the terminal and towards her new life in this city. 

[gaiaxarrow]

And there’s certain things that I adore          And there’s certain things that I ignore                     But I’m certain that I’m yours

[gaiaxarrow]

The whole thing felt wrong to her and she hated that it was all her doing. Sure, he was here and unsettled feeling that had clung to her without him by her side was fading but this wasn’t them. The space she was keeping between them only proved that. They weren’t awkward pauses and stumble, rushed words on her part. They were raised voices and slammed doors. Every movement dramatic because when you put two people who possessed so much passion in one room stilted, measured actions and words would never do them justice. Their past was littered with break ups and make ups and Gaia wouldn’t change any of it for the world but there was no denying she’d steered them into uncharted territory by leaving not just their home but their state. And by enforcing the distance between them she was only pushing them further out to sea.

Once again she can’t help but think she doesn’t deserve this, deserve him. Not when he’s travelled so far without question and was here grinning and gracious, letting her have the space that she didn’t really want while confirming that there was no way he wasn’t going to come. For a moment she forgets herself, overwhelmed by the gesture though after all these years it shouldn’t surprise her, and there’s a half step taken forward. If she was going to embrace him she stops herself, hand landing lightly on his arm instead. She doesn’t bother to correct him or call him on his comment when they both know there’s no denying he the reason he travelled so far. Because she’d needed him and he’d came, as simple as that. Before things could linger too long she’s returning to default and speaking again. “Well, I guess I’ll have to try to show the sights while you’re here. My sense of direction is as pathetic as always though so it might end up with you being the guide.” As she finishes speaking she lets her hand fall, already missing the contact. “But first we need to get you out this airport.”

[calebxchapel]

Very little about this felt right. Her hand touches his arm, but that’s the most she offers. She’s remaining cordial and he can recognize by now when she’s holding back. He’s doing the same, because he’d already have his arm around her if this were any other day. If she hadn’t packed up everything and just walked out without saying why. He didn’t know the reason. They’d had an argument, but they had plenty of those. He wasn’t sure what it was about this one that had made her decide enough was enough. And he didn’t know how the situation here was so bad that she went back on that solution. At least enough to go back to the habit of coming to him when she needed him. He at least had that, but he wasn’t sure what he was going to do if that was all she offered him anymore. Because he was practically crawling out of his skin not being able to wrap an arm around her, or pull her close, feel her skin beneath his lips. The distance was excruciating. 

“Since when have you ever been able to let me be the boss?” he asks, though the grin on his face shows how playful the words are. He can keep this up for a little bit, acting like nothings wrong when he just wants to ask her why she left. What he’d done wrong to make her go and what was going on here that she felt the need to text him to come out here. He was here, whatever it was. While he didn’t share the same sort of mutation in his genes as she did, he supported her nonetheless. Went out of his way to show his support for the rights and safety of those like her. Had joined a small group of protesters and let his art do most of the talking while he vandalized billboards and the sides of walls with murals depicting free mutants and mutant rights. They’d been getting ready for something big, coming up here. But then she’d left and he’d gotten the text. So here he was. “Didn’t buy my return ticket,” he tells her. “So we’ve got all the time in the world.” It’s meant to show her that he’s here, that he doesn’t plan on leaving any time soon and whether she wants to or not, they’re going to talk about what was happening between them. Not this second, but he wasn’t going to leave without having that conversation. 

[calebxchapel]

Do you regret coming to LA?

Why would I? My whole life is here.

[gaiaxarrow]

@calebxchapel

She hadn’t expected to find herself standing in LAX again so soon. In fact Gaia couldn’t even say she’d planned on ever setting in the airport within the year, not if she’d been serious about putting any sort of meaningful distance between her and Caleb. Except she’d failed miserably in her attempt at being selfless and cutting him loose, even if he didn’t recognise it was better for him, safer, without her in his life. But all it had taken was a lapse in concentration and giving in to old habits and what was now ingrained in her. They’d been together so long he was always the first one she reached out to about anything, it was second nature now. And there had been no denying her sense of joy and relief when he’d told her he was coming to her, the same emotions running through her now when he gaze met his. Heading over to meet him, trying not to pay attention to how quick her pace was, Gaia had to catch herself before throwing herself into his arm, instead stopping short rather awkwardly. Hands that usually would have reach out for him falling to her side.

“Hi.” It seemed so cold compared to their usual greetings, not even the slightest contact between them. Just space that never usual existed between them. As always when she found herself at a loss for what to do, she spoke. “Thank you for coming, it means a lot.” And it did. She’d never once doubted the depth of Caleb’s feelings for her, one look at what he dedicated his time to would make that clear enough, but if anything this just confirmed what she already knew. Then there’s an overwhelming sense of guilt at having dragged him out there when she’d been the one to leave. Calling it off without any explanation as to why. “I shouldn’t have asked, not when-” Trailing off she can’t bring herself to finish the sentence, it would make the whole thing sound to final so instead she settled for another truth. “You didn’t have to.”

[calebxchapel]

The flight to LAX shouldn’t have seemed as long as it did, but it felt like an eternity. It gave him too much time to think, too much time to sit quietly when he felt too much anxiety in his chest at what he was about to do. He hadn’t thought it through. When she’d texted him, when she’d told him what was going on, it was second nature to buy a one way ticket out here. Call him foolish for running to the aid of the woman who’d up and left him without so much as an explanation -- but that was his woman. From the moment he’d met her, he’d always known he’d do anything for her and if this wasn’t anything then he didn’t know what was. So he’d bought his ticket, packed a bag, and made his way to the airport. The doubt had only started settling in once they were in the air, once the flight seemed to go on and on and on. She’d left him. He didn’t know why. There were a million assumptions he could make, because if they knew how to love each other well enough, they knew how to fight each other with the same level of tenacity. 

It was only when he saw her again that the doubts melted away. He couldn’t help the toothy grin on his face as he came out of the gate, dufflebag over his shoulder. If he expected her to hug him, to touch him, if he moved to embrace her, it only managed to dampen his smile when she didn’t. Arms length between them and if she needed the space, he’d give her the space until they talked this out. “Hi,” he greets her back. She stumbles over her words, telling him that he didn’t have to come out this way and he gives a small scoff. “’Course I had to come out here,” he tells her, as if it were plain to see. He doesn’t go into an explanation as to why it should be obvious. Seven years together, they both should know. Though her leaving casts some shadows on that knowledge, it doesn’t break the relationship they had. “Never been to LA. Couldn’t pass up the opportunity.” He grins, because they both know that’s not why he’s out here. 

[filmhall]

[calebxchapel]

filmhall:

Garrett Hedlund