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@callieandtenni
I’d love to see a version of Julius Caesar where he takes the beware the Ides of March warning seriously like “oh shit. good heads up man thanks” and he goes into it with his own knife. He calms down a bit when he see’s all his best friends like “yea, the squad is here and everyone is strapped. nice”
I don’t know why this is making me laugh so hard
Because I am very funny
I’d watch this play.
The demon lord has conquered the land, and five heroes have been summoned to depose him. The heroes journey towards the demon lord–to discover that he’s built a thriving economy, public healthcare, and the land is more prosperous than it has ever been.
It was a clerk outside the capital that explained it to them. They had decided to capture her because her tiny horns bespoke a touch of infernal blood, so she had to be carrying something important, right? Turned out to be crop records of all things. She had been absolutely indignant when one of the heroes had tossed a ledger aside, snatching it up and brushing dirt from the pages. “Idiots! Crop records are important! They show weather patterns, predict tax income, give figures for where and what relief is needed when things change for the worse. That’s the problem with you muscle bound types, you don’t understand how things -work-.”
Mirae tried to smile, the young woman was pretty if you ignored the horns and golden eyes. “Well, why don’t you explain it to us? Why does a demon lord care about disaster relief and taxes?”
The clerk gave Mirae a skeptical look, then looked at the drawn swords of two of the other heroes and turned back to Mirae as the best of a bad lot. “Because Hell runs on the souls of the damned, and people can only be damned if they choose to be evil.”
Mirae frowned, “But if people are hungry, they’ll steal to feed their families.”Â
The clerk nodded, “But that’s desperation, it’s not evil.” Mirae frowned more in frustration, “He should be making it illegal to go to temples, or ban healers to force people to break the law.” The clerk sighed, “Once again, desperation, not evil. Turning to prostitution to feed your kids isn’t evil. Lying to avoid execution isn’t evil. Working holy-days, eating forbidden food, breaking laws to save lives Is. Not. Evil. Evil has to be a choice. An uncoerced choice to do unnecessary harm. Oh sure, under the old system we got the souls of a few nobles who enjoyed being at the top and hurting people. But NOW?”
The clerk grins, and the grin seemed to have a few too many teeth. “Now people have a CHOICE. They choose to torment their neighbors, or to steal from taxes that would feed the poor, or to attack those who are weaker. Not out of hunger or desperation but out of their own pride… “Before we fed on a few nobles a year… now we get plenty of ordinary people as well.
“And now… we get heroes.”
I would read this if it was a book/fic
Great story.
Everyone who’s been talking to me knows i’ve been working on this comic about wlws and cats for a while and i’m so so happy it’s finally here!!! :D
idea stolen from this post :’3
đź‘Ťđź‘Ťđź‘Ťđź‘Ťđź‘Ťđź‘Ťđź‘Ťđź‘Ťđź‘Ťđź‘Ťđź‘Ťđź‘Ťđź‘Ťđź‘Ťđź‘Ťđź‘Ť
Another story based on the same writing prompt that encouraged me to write “Djina and the White Cat”.
The Tale of Djina and the White Cat
Original story prompt by siniristiriita Based on “Legends of Belariath” by Stormbringer Enterprises Djina, the Tayva Din of Romance and Lust, was the ninth Original Child born to The Lady, Mother of All Vulpines, and Her Divine Husband, Trejani.  A passionate woman who claimed thousands of lovers during her lifetime, she was known throughout the land of Belariath as someone always down for a good time. In the 679th year of her life among mortals, the three-tailed Djina was serving as religion advisor in the mixed-race port town of Balmarrow, about a week's horse travel southeast of modern-day Nanthalion.  Djina had been a resident of Balmarrow for the past ten years.  She had settled down a bit in her middle age from the whirling dervish she'd once been, but her reputation was still well-known.  Many men and women sought to claim her as their wife, as Djina, by this age, was the only one of her brothers and sisters never to have married. One day, a poster appeared on the bulletin board of the Mislaid Course tavern, the most popular community gathering spot in town: "To all adults living and working in Balmarrow: "I, Djina, Original Child of The Lady, offer my hand in marriage to the person, male or female of any race, who can open the front door of my house with the key that hangs around the neck of my white cat, Lily.  You are free to use whatever means you have at your disposal, except that she must not be harmed in any way.  The winner of this competition will have earned my love and my devotion, and we will be together until one of us passes beyond the Veil." The appearance overnight of this poster caused quite the stir among the residents of Balmarrow.  When the first pack of suitors arrived at Djina's house, they saw Lily, the white cat, standing proudly in front of her door.  They chased her throughout the town, grabbing at her and trying to catch her in their clutches. The terrified feline ran from the swiftest, and clawed at the meanest. Remembering the poster's admonition that Lily must not be harmed, the suitors opted not to retaliate against the frightened cat. Eventually, the suitors began using their brains.  A barbarian male tried the simple food-and-box technique, but was too slow to drop the box on Lily before she escaped.  A female vulpine mage hit Lily with a Stun Bolt, which just caused Lily's movement patterns to become even more erratic and unpredictable.  A wolven fire mage trapped Lily in a Fire Cell, but she kept moving around inside it and evading his attempts to snatch the key from the other side.  Once the Fire Cell dispersed, she took off like a bat out of hell. Eventually, 50 men and women cornered Lily in an alley and surrounded her, but she managed to escape even that situation, running when she could, scratching when she must, and ultimately jumping into the ocean to evade capture for another day. Two months passed, and the townspeople had just about despaired of winning the key to Djina's house and her heart, though attempts were still frequently made. On one summer day, the cargo ship Barnacle arrived in port.  As they unloaded their boxes of fresh fruit and vegetables from the island of Liksha, a member of the crew, a pixie bard named Leafsong, came out to enjoy the fortnight's leave before going back out.  She played her lute to great acclaim in the Mislaid Course tavern.  As she left for the night to go to an inn, it began to rain, and she came upon a white cat, huddled, shivering, and muddy in a puddle, and wearing a collar with a silver key around its neck. Leafsong picked the cat, Lily, up into her arms, and Lily did not resist her.  Checking herself into the inn, she went to her room and gave Lily a bath, feeding her and cuddling with her through the night.  In the morning, Lily had disappeared, but the next night, Lily followed her home.  In all the time since Djina had announced the competition, Leafsong had been the only person to treat Lily with a modicum of respect-- and she didn't even know about the competition. On their fifth night together, while lying next to Lily in bed, Leafsong looked at the key on the cat's collar.  She realized it had an inscription on it.  "I, Djina, Original Child of The Lady, will give my hand and my heart in marriage to the first person to unlock the door of my house with this key, placed around the neck of my beloved cat, Lily."  On the other side of the key was Lily's address. Lily rubbed her head against Leafsong's hand, seeming to encourage her to take the key.  Leafsong took the collar off, and Lily led her to Djina's house, a lovely four-bedroom house in the middle of town. When Leafsong opened the door to the house, she called out a "Hello?", a sound that echoed through the house.  There was no response.  She came into the house a little farther, advancing in front of Lily, and called again.  Then she heard the response of "Charavizhra, keeash'a!" from behind her.  ["Fondest greetings, beloved!"] Lily had transformed into her true form-- that of Djina herself.  She wrapped her arms and side tails around Leafsong and gave her a gentle kiss on the lips, saying, "From the moment I saw you, I hoped it would be you." The next day, Djina and Leafsong were wed, and Leafsong left the crew of the Barnacle, becoming well-known as a lute player in Balmarrow.  Djina and Leafsong lived the next 40 years together as a happily married couple, sharing the light of their love with everyone they encountered until Leafsong returned to nature. Today, the Tale of Djina and the White Cat is celebrated on High Harvest, Week 2, Fireday on the Calendar of Sosti’m Cor, Djina's Feast Day, October 13, in Balmarrow.  The story is told, and all cat adoptions at the local General Store are free that day.
Based off of this story prompt:
