hyperfixate with me :)

[starlightinthesun]

If Ryland Grace doesn't become the next Tumblr Sexyman, im shipping myself to Erid to tell him the tradegy. VOTE RYLAND GRAVE FOR OUR 2026 TUMBLR SEXYMAN!!!!

[bill-cipher-offical]

COME ONE, COME ALL, AND BEHOLD! A NOTES GAME!

HERE'S THE DEAL: FOR EVERY 10 NOTES THIS POST GETS, I ADD ANOTHER 5 PIXELS TO THE LENGTH OF MY HAT IN THIS DASHING IMAGE

FLY, MY PRETTIES! FLY! FLY!

[bill-cipher-offical]

I LIED! YOU GET DOUBLE THE PIXELS! 10 NOTES = 10 PIXELS!

+270 PIXELS

[bill-cipher-offical]

+200 PIXELS

AT THIS RATE, WE CAN SEDUCE THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND BACK FROM THE DEAD BY BREAKFAST!

[bill-cipher-offical]

+220 PIXELS

I GROW MORE POWERFUL BY THE MINUTE

[bill-cipher-offical]

+210 PIXELS

FEATURING MY ALREADY PERFECT LEGS

[sexy-people-contests-2026]

How many pixels do you think we can add guys?

[artsymeeshee]

It’s a very important day for some very important boys: HAPPY BIRTHDAY STAN AND FORD 😭😭🥺🥺🥹🥹 The old men that have made a permanent home in my brain and my heart ♥️ And a happy 14th anniversary to the show of all time 🥹

[microsff]

Every morning, the queen asked her magic mirror to show her the most beautiful person in the world.

The mirror replied "To whom?"

"The miller who made the flour for my bread," the queen would say, or "Whoever spun the thread my shawl was made of".

The mirror would show her, and she'd be amazed.

[nullen-void]

The first time, she says "To me," and the mirror dutifully shows her her reflection. And she is pleased.

The second time, she says "To the King," and she is pleased to see herself once more.

The third time, she says "To the Royal Advisor," and is once more satisfied to see herself.

The fourth time, she says "To the scribe who takes the King's letters." She is shown the man's wife. And she seethes, but quiets herself, for it is only right that a man loves his wife.

The fifth time, she says "To the Court Wizard," and is shown the man's departed mother as he remembers her from his youth, radiant and smiling and warm and larger than life.

The tenth time, she says "To the Stable Master," and is shown the fastest horse in the stable, majestic and free as the wind even in captivity

"To the baker," she is shown the man's daughter, young and adorable and full of joy and laughter.

"To the artist who did my portrait," she is shown a painting of a woman done by the man's teacher, who he still looks up to now that he is well established himself.

"To the Royal Knight," she is surprised but not displeased to see the castle's entire guard force in the middle of doing drills.

The one hundredth time she asks the mirror, and it asks her "to whom?" she once again says, "To me." And she does the same the one hundred and second, and again and again and again.

It is a different person each time, and they are all beautiful.

[anonpolls]

A strange genie appears and has an offer for you. You’ll be cured of all, you’ll have a stable job you’re happy with, and you’ll basically just live the best life you can imagine. However, there’s a catch—you’ll have to relive one specific grade level from middle or high school (the genie is American).

Which would you pick?

6th grade

7th grade

8th grade

9th/freshman year

10th/sophomore year

11th/junior year

12th/senior year

decline the magician’s offer

none, i am the magician

answers to the magician

Remaining time: 1 day 21 hours

Thanks, Anon!

-submit your poll!-

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Okay but imagine being the team of Eridian scientists tasked with keeping Erid's Only Human alive for as long as possible while the whole planet's environment is literally trying to kill him. And then Rocky shows up and is like:

“Grace says he would like half of dome to be water.”

“Oh, is necessary for humans to have large amounts of water question?”

Small Eridian equivalent of a sigh. “No. Not needed for life. In fact Grace will die if he falls in water and does not get out.”

“Tell him we give him water in containers that won't kill him. Lots lots lots of water on Erid for Grace to drink.”

“No. Grace say he want water on ground. Also want it with excess sodium chloride compound so it will be unhealthy for drink.”

“WHY QUESTION???”

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

To celebrate Erid getting their sun back on track, Grace asks for some alcohol. There's a small amount left from the Hail Mary and Rocky offers to take it to the science Eridians to see if they can synthesise more.

“Grace want this liquid for celebration.”

“Of course.” They scan it. “You have wrong liquid. This contain compounds which are poisonous for humans.”

“Yes yes yes. Grace say humans like feeling of being slightly poisoned.”

“WHY QUESTION?????”

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Grace is like one of those extremely finicky tropical fish who instantly die if not kept in extremely specific conditions.

Only here the fish can talk and keeps asking you to make it vodka.

[sexy-people-contests-2026]

Happy birthday to Stanley and Stanford Pines!!!! The internet’s favorite Grunkle’s and two of tumblr’s favorite mpreg winners and sexy men

[dragon-hoard]

if you are going to need some kind of sedative for 4th of july fireworks for your pets NOW IS THE TIME TO SCHEDULE THOSE APPOINTMENTS TO ASK FOR THEM

NOT WHEN ITS 2 DAYS AWAY

[alex51324]

I feel like to really get this circulating as it should, we need it superimposed over the picture of the turkey going in the fridge. (I can't do it I'm on my phone.)

[anxietyproblem]

[kedreeva]

Hey if you get one of these it's a scam. Tumblr is not going to give you security alerts via a mention on a post.

@staff @tumblr

[gahdamnpunk]

American Girl stories were the best tbh

[that-catholic-shinobi]

Dude, read the books, she and her mom freed themselves in Book 1. We don’t disrespect American Girl in this house

[allthefandomss]

Don’t you dare disrespect Addy, or any of my girls for that matter. American Girl used to be legit. Good stories, good dolls, good movies.

[smugkoalas]

Felicity’s story was set in the beginnings of the American Revolution, and addressed the conflict that she faced when her loved ones were split between patriots and loyalists. It also covered the effects of animal abuse, and forgiving those who are unforgivable.

Samantha’s stories centered around the growth of industrial America, women’s suffrage, child abuse, and corruption in places of power. Also, it emphasises how dramatically adoption into a caring family can turn a life around.

Kit’s story is one of my favorites. Her family is hit hard by the Great Depression, and they begin taking in boarders and raise chickens to help make ends meet. Her books include themes of poverty, police brutality, homelessness, prejudice, and the importance of unity in difficult times.

Molly’s father, a doctor, is drafted during the Second World War. Throughout her story, friends of hers suffer the loss of their husbands, sons, and brothers overseas. Her mother leaves the traditional housewife position and works full-time to help with the war effort. They also take in an English refugee child, who learns to open up after a life of traumatic experience.

American Girl stories have always featured the very harsh realities of America through the years. But they’re always presented honestly, yet in ways that kids can understand. They just go to show that you don’t have to live in a perfect time to be a real American girl.

[chaos-in-the-making]

Dont you fucking dare disrespect the American Girls in my house. ESPECIALLY Addy!! That was my first REAL contact with the horrors of slavery, as I read about her father being whipped and sold and her mother escaping with her to freedom, but also how freedom was still a struggle.

A slave doll. Please. Read the books.

[ironwoman359]

Don’t forget Kirsten, the Swedish immigrant who had to deal with balancing her own culture and learning the english language and customs of her classmates, or Kaya (full name Kaya'aton'my, or She Who Arranges Rocks) , the brave but careless girl from the Nez Perce tribe, or Josefina, the Mexican girl learning to be a healer.

And then there are the later dolls, that kids younger than me would have grown up with (I was just outgrowing American Girl as these came out), like Rebecca, the Jewish girl who dreams of becoming an actress in the budding film industry, or  Julie, who fights against her school’s gender policy surrounding sports in the 70s, or  Nanea, the Hawaiian girl whose father worked at Pearl Harbor.

These books, these characters, are fantastic pictures into life for girls in America throughout the years, they pull no punches with the horrors that these girls had to face in their different time periods, and in many cases I learned more history from these series than social studies at school. And that’s without even mentioning the “girl of the year” series where characters are created in the modern world to help girls deal with issues like friend problems, moving, or bullying. We do NOT disrespect American Girl in this house.

[razzleberryjam]

American Girl is probably going to be the only exposure young girls are going to get to history from a female perspective. This is actually kind of important considering that in history classes we dont really get that exposure. We dont hear about what women felt and endured during these time periods cause schools are too busy teaching us about what happened from the male perspective, which is not unimportant, but we need both. Girls need both.

[star-linedsoul]

These books were such a crucial part of my childhood and shaped my love of history, which still ensures today. These books can be a young girl’s first lessons in diversity and cultural awareness (hopefully burying that insensitive “we’re all Americans” tripe) and looking at history from more perspectives than just that taught in school. They also are an example of how women have ALWAYS been part of history, which some people would rather us not believe.

I think Kit and Kaya were the newest American Girls when I started “aging out” of the books, but hearing about some of these kinda makes me want to revisit them!

[breezeinmonochromenight]

I wasn’t gonna say anything, but you know what?

Nah.

OP (of the tweet thread) was either a actively trying to start shit or is just a huge fucking moron. Probably both.

I’d like to point out that the company that makes American Girl dolls actually doesn’t skimp when doing their research and they don’t make the dolls with the intent to be offensive in any way:

[physicsandfandoms]

And they departed from the norm in Kaya’s doll to fit her culture! The other dolls all show their teeth, and Kaya does not because that is considered rude in the Nez Perce culture!

It is absolutely true that these books covered the stuff in history that was absent from our history books. I still distinctly remember reading about Addy being forced to eat bugs she missed on tobacco plants, and that started me out from a different perspective and made it easier for me to know to reject the sanitized version of the slave trade we’re taught in school. And these books are targeted at ages 8+, which is a pretty critical time for developing your own thinking and morals.

[lunacorva]

Reblogging for general awesome

[hey-marlie]

when i was in 3rd grade i was reading the Meet Addy book at school & a couple boys made fun of me for reading a “doll book” - my teacher overheard & started reading Meet Addy to the class after every recess. everyone became extremely invested & by the end of the year we had read the entire collection of Addy books & did a presentation on the civil war at the end of the year that we all presented to the class one by one.

i think back on this & realize that as third graders we were talking about how awful slavery was & because we were simply innocent kids without any societal or institutional influence yet, all of us could kept saying “why would you treat a HUMAN like that ?!” this one girl for her birthday invited all of us for her party & she got the Addy doll - every single one of us (boys included) held her & was in awe of this doll - it was such a touching experience.

i went back home about a year ago & ran into my third grade teacher in the grocery store. she said that year opened up a whole new teaching structure for her. she now reads american girl stories to her students starting day one of class every day to calm them down after recess & she’ll get through maybe four or five sets of books a year. she has the dolls in the room with packets on information from the doll’s time period that her students can “check out” to take home for weekends to care for them.

we oftentimes overlook how powerful toys can be in influencing young children & american girl honestly knew that kids could read intense moments in history & synthesize the issues to learn how to be a better person. my grandma bought me my first doll, molly, when i was only six & the dolls became a huge part of my childhood. when i turned 21 a couple years ago - we were living in minneapolis - she took me to have lunch for my birthday at the american doll place in the mall of america & bought me the Addy doll for my birthday. it was such a powerful moment i hasn’t expected.

i’ve since gotten rid of majority of my childhood toys, but i still have every single one of my dolls & all the books that i plan on gifting to my future children.

[iamthecutestofborg]

I’m white and my first real introduction to slavery and the underground railroad was Addy. She was a young girl like me I could connect to and care about her story. American Girl does a great job of making history relevant to kids.

[boldlygoing-nowhere]

Also American Girl sells all sorts of books unrelated to the dolls. The Care and Keeping of You books were super important as I started puberty and were the most comprehensive, non judgemental account of what was going to happen.

They also have “the smart girls guide” series which covers topics like crushes, worry, middle school, drama and gossip, sports, friendship, the digital world, communication, money, confidence, etc.

[iamthecutestofborg]

Oh I had those too and I loved them!

[fishfrommars]

I want to say I think there was an American Girl Doll magazine series that came out, but don’t quote me on that. there were lots of helpful girl guides that used the American girls as examples for doing good or learning lessons or trying to understand why girls did what they did

I learned a lot of my core beliefs from these girls.

I remember being very invested in Molly, Addy, and Kaya. Mostly cuz I look like Molly, and the other two had a lot of information on two of my favorite time periods. But I owe a lot of my personality to these lovvely girls

[dragonqueenzoyaa]

yo don’t forget my girl Caroline. Her father was captured by the British during the war of 1812 and she basically learned how to sail and rescued him herself.

[janeslandrys]

omg yeah i love caroline

[beggars-opera]

I can confirm that they really do their research - during the creation of Caroline the company called a museum I was associated with and quizzed them extensively about what sort of food kids would have eaten at the turn of the 19th century.

[kurganfilledwithbearbones]

When i was like ten I wrote a letter to the American Girl magazine saying that the girls in their magazine were all really skinny and it made me, a chonk, really sad because it was showing that I couldn’t wear any of the outfits they suggested, and I got a personal letter back from the editor apologizing for making me feel that way and saying they would work on that. Dunno if they actually did, i can’t remember, but they did promptly personally respond to a letter about something that was not exactly on the radar for girl’s media in fucking 2002. So there’s that.

[torchlake]

I’m happy to report that the messages from American Girl have only gotten better in recent years.

These are from one of their latest books, A Smart Girl’s Guide to Body Image:

They got a lot of flak from conservative parents for this and they did. not. back. down.

Their newest historical doll, Claudie, is a black girl growing up in the Harlem Renaissance of the 1920s. Her story is about Black artists thriving, and making a safe, beautiful place for themselves in a society that tries to reject them. It teaches about the NAACP’s protests against lynchings, in ways kids can understand, but there’s also so much Black joy and creativity showcased in her story.

Another historical doll, Melody, is growing up in the 1960s during the Civil Rights movement. She faces the struggles and triumphs of attending a newly integrated school, and learns about the bombing of a Black church in Alabama that killed four little girls her age. Her stories show how black people found support and community within the church, as well as music— she loves to sing! If you have a free hour, I highly recommend watching her special on Amazon (free with prime). It stars Caila Marsai Martin from Blackish and it will make you weep.

The girl of the year for 2022, Corinne, is Asian, and her story touches on the issues of anti-Asian hate in the wake of covid. When conservative parents threw a fit about this, American Girl went ahead and made the girl of the year for 2023 Asian, too.

Any of their dolls can be customized with assistive devices like hearing aids, service dogs, and wheelchairs. They also have bald dolls, to include stories about girls battling cancer or alopecia. And it’s not just girl dolls— they have boy dolls now, too! And dolls with no gender assigned to them! People complained that they couldn’t find any dolls in the Just Like Me line that looked like them, so they now give people the ability to create their own custom doll, with tons of different options.

I’m not claiming American Girl as a company is perfect, but I am saying they’re important. Girl perspectives, girl stories, and girl communities are IMPORTANT. If there are kids in your life who would benefit from these stories, or if you’d like to read them yourself, you can find any American Girl book for pretty much dirt cheap on eBay, and libraries usually stock tons of them!

[anamericangirl]

The American Girls played a big part in my childhood - I learned a lot of history through them. My mother even taught (and still does) middle school history classes based around the American Girl books. She has even had Janet Shaw (author of Kirsten and Kaya books) and Valerie Tripp (author of the Felicity, Molly, and Josefina books) as speaking guests in her classes multiple times.

And I’m pretty much with this post up until the last comment because what the hell? Upsetting conservative parents isn’t some badge of honor like you’re insinuating it is. If they are angering people, that means they’ve become less about history and more about politics. And you shouldn’t be using that as a positive.

in fact, your post shows how they’ve gone downhill and become a political mouthpiece for the left instead of a way to share stories of important historical events with young children. There is no reason they should be delving into gender ideology nonsense. Like has been mentioned, these books are geared for children as young as 8. Conservative parents are right to be upset it. Everyone should.

And they have a girl for Asian hate in the wake of Covid? Are they honest about who was responsible for the Asian hate? Huh? Are they?

Upsetting a good portion of your fellow Americans who also loved and grew up on those books is not something that is in their favor and not something you should see as a good thing.

I love the og American girls but these new ones sound like leftist trash, unfortunately.

[anamericangirl]

(I reblogged this several months ago but just saw it again and tumblr freaking glitched and left out most of my comment - so I’m adding it here.)

The American Girls played a big part in my childhood - I learned a lot of history through them. My mother even taught (and still does) middle school history classes based around the American Girl books. She has even had Janet Shaw (author of Kirsten and Kaya books) and Valerie Tripp (author of the Felicity, Molly, and Josefina books) as speaking guests in her classes multiple times.

And I’m pretty much with this post up until the last comment from torchlake because what the hell? Upsetting conservative parents isn’t some badge of honor like you’re insinuating it is. If they are angering people, that means they’ve become less about history and more about politics. And you shouldn’t be using that as a positive.

in fact, this post shows how they’ve gone downhill and become a political mouthpiece for the left instead of a way to share stories of important historical events with young children. There is no reason they should be delving into gender ideology nonsense. Like has been mentioned, these books are geared for children as young as 8. Conservative parents are right to be upset it. Everyone should.

And they have a girl for Asian hate in the wake of Covid? Are they honest about who was responsible for the Asian hate? Huh? Are they? 

Upsetting a good portion of your fellow Americans who also loved and grew up on those books is not something that is in their favor and not something you should see as a good thing.

[chillyfeetsteak]

this is what i mean when i type 👀 btw

[woolandflax]

This one’s for the tumblrinas

[clarisliadon]

lets make cookies guys!

Sugar

Butter

Eggs

Flour

Salt

Baking powder

Vanilla extract

Chocolate chips

Voting ended onJun 16

[pointless-achievements]

Achievement Available:

C'Mon, You Know You Wanna...

Do it. Click that button. You know which one.

[rabbitindisguise]

@relientk

[relientk]

We have already been through this,

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

so what you're gonna do is you're gonna trim the top off a bulb of garlic, using the knife's edge to take off the tip of every individual clove, that's important. you're gonna place the garlic face-up in a square of tinfoil, drizzle with olive oil, wrap completely in foil, place in baking tray, repeat with a copious amount of garlic bulbs. you're gonna put that baking tray in an oven set to 375-400°F, for 30-50 minutes, until soft and browned. you're gonna toast some good bread, slather generously with butter and honey, maybe a tiny lil bit o' salt. and then. you're gonna SQUEEZE. OUT. THAT. ROASTED GARLIC. onto the butter honey toast. and you're gonna eat it. food stolen directly from the plate of the gods. that's what you're gonna do.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the garlic. it beckons you

[thesweetestsupervillains]

It occurs to me that "1920s gangster doing a cooking show while holding you at gunpoint" is an untapped market.

We've had normal cooking shows. Now we need period piece cooking shows in character.

[wolfythewitch]

Sketch in between comms. Just imagine they got the suit on lol

[wolfythewitch]

Follow-up

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

nosferatu? no. tuferatu. no es mi problema.

[quorpiest]

no mi circo no mis feratus

[rslashrats]

making up characters is so fun because you can be like “this is johnson he came from my mind” and all your friends will go “yippe!!! horray!!! we love johnson!!!”

[rslashrats]

very unfortunate but hilarious side effect of calling the example oc johnson in this post is now people are saying this in the tags