𓏲࣪close enough
𐙚⋆ PAIRING ⋅ daniela avanzini x reader ⋅ WORD COUNT 4051 words ⋅ TAGS ⋅ !!MDNI!! ⋅ angst, jealousy, toxic!dani lowk, nsfw content, making out, clit play, oral, fingering, etc.. <𝟑 .ᐟ
⤷ ゛SYNOPSIS ˎˊ˗ in which... you and daniela are stuck in something unspoken that looks like a relationship to everyone except the two of you, and jealousy keeps forcing out feelings neither of you say out loud.
ᝰ.ᐟ: OFFICIAL LULU COMEBACK I PROMISE
your relationship with daniela is complicated. you aren’t officially together, but most people know better than to cross certain lines. nobody flirts with her in front of you, and nobody tries to set either of you up with someone else. whatever exists between the two of you has never been defined out loud, yet it sits there in plain sight for everyone to see.
you like to think you’re subtle about it. you tell yourself that nobody pays enough attention to notice. the truth is that everyone notices. they see the way her hand finds the small of your back whenever you’re moving through a crowded room. they see how the empty seat beside you at parties stays empty because people already know who it’s for.
you’ve never had a conversation about labels, never sat down and decided what the two of you are supposed to be, but half of your clothes live in her closet and she keeps a toothbrush in your bathroom without either of you acknowledging it. at some point, the line between yours and hers became difficult to find.
tonight isn’t any different.
daniela is sitting on the floor of her bedroom with her back resting against the side of her bed. your laptop is balanced on your legs as recordings from your latest dance practice play across the screen. every few seconds you pause, rewind, and watch certain sections again, searching for mistakes that nobody else would probably notice. beside you, daniela hums quietly along to the song playing through the speakers. the sound drifts through the room without effort, familiar enough that you barely realize you’re listening to it until she stops.
“you’re being too quiet,” daniela murmurs.
she tips her head back until she’s looking up at you from where she’s sitting. exhaustion hangs around her after a full day of practice. it’s there in the slight droop of her shoulders and the tiredness beneath her eyes. even so, her attention settles entirely on you, steady and impossible to ignore.
“just focusing,” you say.
a small smile pulls at the corner of her mouth. she reaches up without hesitation and presses the top of your laptop down until the screen is almost closed. the video disappears from view.
“focus on me instead.”
you look at her. she's not even looking back at you. her gaze has dropped, tracking down to your lips like she's hungry.
before you can answer, she smashes her mouth into yours.
the kiss is all heat and want, her hand sliding to the back of your neck to pull you deeper. her lips part against yours, tongue sweeping in without hesitation, and you melt into her. the taste of her fills your mouth. her fingers curl into the hair at your nape, tugging just enough to make you gasp.
she pulls back, breathing hard, a smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth. then she's on her feet, hands hooking under your arms, lifting you with a strength that still surprises you every time. she throws you onto the bed.
you bounce once, giggling, the sound breaking free before you can stop it. she's already crawling up the mattress after you, her knees bracketing your hips, her hair falling forward to frame her face as she looks down at you.
"pretty," she says, and dips down to capture your mouth again.
the second kiss is slower. she takes her time, her tongue sweeping against yours in long, languid strokes, her teeth catching your lower lip and tugging until it stings. the ache blooms warm through your chest. her hands slide down your sides, palms pressing through the fabric of your shirt. she finds the hem and pushes it up, exposing the skin of your stomach inch by inch.
she breaks the kiss, pulls the shirt over your head in one smooth motion, and tosses it somewhere behind her.
she reaches behind you, her fingers finding the clasp of your bra with the kind of practice that says she's done this before. it comes undone with a soft click. she slides the straps down your shoulders, lets the fabric fall away, and her mouth drops to your collarbone immediately open mouthed, wet, pressing kiss after kiss down the slope of your chest until she reaches your nipple.
her tongue circles it once. twice. then her mouth closes around it, and the wet heat of her pulls a sharp inhale through your teeth. she sucks, slow and deliberate, her tongue pressing flat against the sensitive bud, and your back arches off the mattress, pressing you deeper into her mouth.
"dani—"
she releases the nipple with a wet pop, her breath hot and uneven against your skin. "yes, baby?"
she takes the other nipple into her mouth before you can answer, and this time she's not gentle. she sucks harder, her teeth grazing, her tongue flicking in sharp, rapid strokes. the sensation spirals through your chest and down, settling hot and heavy in your stomach. your hands find her hair, fingers threading through the dark strands, gripping tight.
"need you," you say, and your voice comes out smaller than you meant. a pout you didn't plan.
she smirks against your skin, the curve of her mouth pressing into your chest. she looks up at you through her lashes, her eyes dark and amused. "need me where?"
you roll your eyes, and she laughs, a low, genuine chuckle that vibrates against your ribs. she kisses her way down your stomach, slow and gentle, her tongue dipping into your navel, tracing lazy circles across the sensitive skin. each kiss leaves a cooling trail. your muscles jump beneath her mouth.
she reaches the waistband of your shorts and hooks her fingers into the fabric, shorts and panties together, denim and cotton, and pulls them down your legs in one smooth drag. the denim catches on your hips, then slides free. she tugs them past your knees, your ankles, and tosses them somewhere behind her. they land with a soft rustle you can't place.
the cool air of the room hits your bare skin, and you shiver. she settles between your thighs, and the sight of her there, dark hair spread across your stomach, her breath warm against the sensitive skin of your inner thighs, her shoulders broad against the dim light, makes your whole body clench with want.
she groans, low and appreciative, the sound rumbling through her chest. her hands find your thighs, thumbs pressing into the soft flesh, spreading you wide. her gaze drops, and she takes her time looking at you, wet and open and waiting.
"look at you."
she leans in. her tongue, flat and firm, drags from your hole all the way up to your clit in one long, deliberate stripe. the sensation cuts through you like a live wire, sharp and electric, and you gasp, your hips bucking off the mattress. she groans against you, the vibration sending a shock straight through your core, and she does it again. slower. she lets the tip of her tongue circle your clit before she pulls away, and the absence of contact makes you ache.
her mouth closes around your clit, and she starts sucking. she pulls hard, her tongue pressing and circling in sharp, focused movements. your hands fly to her hair, gripping the roots, pulling.
"yes—fuck, dani—"
she hums in approval, the sound buzzing against you, and your thighs tense around her head. she anchors one arm across your hips, holding you down as you squirm, and her tongue works you relentlessly, broad, flat strokes that cover your whole cunt, then sharp, tight flicks that zero in on your clit, then back to her mouth closing around you, sucking, pulling, until your vision starts to blur.
she dips her tongue inside you, and you cry out, a sharp, broken sound. she's everywhere. her mouth, her breath, the wet sounds of her working you open. her tongue pushes into you, curling, tasting, and the stretch of it makes your fingers twist in her hair.
when her finger enters you, you feel the fullness immediately. the press of it sliding inside, slick and deliberate. she curls it on the first thrust, finding that spot against your front wall that makes your whole body jerk, and she doesn't let up. she adds a second finger, stretching you, the rhythm of her hand matching the rhythm of her mouth.
"that's it," she mutters against you, the words muffled and hot. "cum for me. let me feel it."
your fingers are knotted so tight in her hair you're probably hurting her, but she groans like she loves it, like the pain feeds something in her. she fucks you with her fingers, curling, pressing, while her mouth stays locked on your clit, sucking, licking, doing everything at once until the pressure in your stomach winds tighter and tighter and tighter—
it breaks over you like a wave you didn't see coming. your orgasm tears through you, sharp and sudden, and you cry out, one long, broken moan as your back arches off the mattress, your vision going white at the edges. your thighs clamp around her head, and she doesn't stop. she works you through it, her fingers slowing, her tongue lapping gently through the aftershocks, drawing out every last tremor until you're shaking and oversensitive and pushing weakly at her head.
she pulls back, but not far. her tongue drags through your wetness, cleaning, tasting, the soft, satisfied sounds she makes vibrating against your skin. the sensation is too much and not enough. your legs are still trembling. your stomach is still clenching. you push at her face again, and she laughs against your thigh, warm, breathless, the sound puffing against your slick skin.
she gives your clit one last kiss. the press of her lips there, tender and unhurried, makes you flinch.
you whine. "dani."
she smiles, you can feel it against your skin. she crawls up your body, kissing a trail as she goes, your stomach, the valley between your chest, along your collarbone, the column of your throat, the hinge of your jaw. each kiss is softer than the last, a brush of her lips that says more than words could.
she kisses you. a peck. then another. then she settles beside you, one arm sliding under your head, the other wrapping around your waist, pulling your back against her chest. her nose nuzzles into your hair, her breath warm against the crown of your head.
───── ⋆ ꩜ ⋆ ─────
the familiar sound of daniela’s alarm cuts through the room.
you don’t even react at first. after months of the exact same routine, you’ve stopped being surprised by it. beside you, daniela groans and reaches blindly across the nightstand until her hand finds her phone. the alarm finally stops. for a few seconds, neither of you say anything. until you sigh.
“i know, i’m sorry.” her voice is rough with sleep.
before you can answer, she leans over and presses a quick kiss against your cheek.
you roll your eyes immediately. “sorry won’t change anything,” you mumble.
you throw the blanket off yourself harder than necessary and swing your legs over the side of the bed. daniela lets out another groan from behind you as you walk toward the door. you don’t bother looking back. the moment the door closes, you hear her flop back onto the mattress.
you already know exactly what’s happening on the other side.
she’s staring at the ceiling for a minute, maybe two. then she’ll close her eyes and fall asleep again.
just like she does every morning.
five in the morning. almost every day. the alarm goes off, you sneak out of her room before anyone else notices, daniela apologizes, and then she goes right back to sleep. at this point you could probably go through the entire routine with your eyes closed. you’re tired of it. tired of waking up before you need to. tired of having your sleep interrupted. tired of hearing the same apology over and over again when nothing ever changes.
───── ⋆ ꩜ ⋆ ─────
back in your own room, you try to get comfortable again. you pull the blanket over yourself and stare at the ceiling. after a few minutes, you turn onto your side. then your other side. then onto your back again.
sleep never comes.
with an annoyed sigh, you grab your phone from the nightstand and check the time. there isn’t much point trying anymore. eventually, you sit up and run a hand through your hair before forcing yourself out of bed. if you’re already awake, you might as well start your day.
the house is quiet while you get ready.
by the time you’re finished, the sun still hasn’t fully come up. you head downstairs and make your way into the kitchen, moving automatically through a routine you’ve done hundreds of times before. the smell of coffee fills the room as it brews. you grab your favorite mug and begin pouring.
a hand suddenly taps your shoulder.
you let out a sharp shriek and nearly jump out of your skin.
coffee splashes across the counter. the loud laughter behind you makes everything worse. you spin around to find manon practically bent over from laughing so hard.
“not fucking funny, bro.” you grab a paper towel and start wiping up the spill.
manon is still grinning. “are you okay?”
“yes, i’m okay. you just scared me.” you focus on cleaning the counter, hoping that’ll end the conversation.
it doesn’t.
“no, i mean are you okay?” you pause. when you look up, manon is watching you carefully. “you got scared because you were completely spaced out. i called your name like three times and you didn’t answer.” you stare at her for a second. “oh.”
“yeah.” she’s still smiling, but it’s different now. the kind of smile that says she thinks she’s figured something out. “i’m fine. don’t worry about it.”
before she can ask anything else, you throw the paper towel away and leave the kitchen.
you settle onto one of the couches in the living room with your coffee balanced between your hands. the house slowly comes to life around you. one by one, the girls start making their way downstairs.
you mostly keep to yourself. every so often someone drags you into a conversation, but your attention never stays there for long. your eyes keep drifting toward the hallway without you meaning to.
daniela is the last one downstairs. the second she walks into the room, you notice. your eyes meet immediately. for a brief moment, neither of you look away. then you break eye contact first. you lift your coffee mug and pretend to be more interested in the drink than the person standing across the room. you can still feel her looking at you.
“okay, everyone listen up!” sophia’s voice cuts through the conversations happening around the living room. “missy just texted me and said that she expects us all to be ready by eleven for the group live.”
the way she says it makes it sound less like a request and more like a direct order. “ma’am, yes ma’am!” megan practically shouts it from across the room. the entire room bursts into laughter. “shut up,” sophia says, trying not to laugh herself.
eventually the group starts breaking apart. conversations split off in different directions as everyone heads back to their rooms to get ready.
the house feels completely different once staff starts arriving. people move through the rooms carrying equipment, adjusting lights, checking cameras, and making sure everything is ready. conversations overlap with instructions from production staff. it feels busy in a way you’re used to by now.
all the girls gather in the designated room a few minutes before the live starts.
you deliberately choose a seat next to manon. you don’t think about it too hard while you’re doing it. you just sit down before you can second guess yourself. across the room, daniela takes a different seat.
nobody says anything.
the live starts a few minutes later.
at first, it’s easy. the conversation flows naturally between everyone. you talk about the upcoming song, answer questions, tell stories from rehearsals, and laugh whenever someone says something ridiculous. comments fly by faster than anyone can properly read. it’s fun.
for a while, you almost forget about the weird mood you’ve been carrying around all morning.
then someone passes you the ipad. “your turn.”
you take it without thinking. the comments move quickly across the screen. some make you smile. others make you laugh out loud.
“someone wants to know which dance was the hardest to learn.”
that sparks another conversation.
while everyone talks, you continue reading. then your smile slowly fades.
your eyes catch the same name.
again.
and again.
and again.
your brows pull together slightly.
jonah david.
at first, you don’t think much of it. fans mention random people all the time.
then you keep reading.
katssmi: y/n nd dani not sitting tgt 🥀 it’s wraps
vivilvr: does this mean dani is acc w jonah?
katskisses: they do look cute tgt imo
you scroll further. more comments. more mentions. more people talking like they’ve figured something out. something uncomfortable settles in your chest.
you stare at the screen for a second too long. the comments continue moving. you don’t read the next ones. instead, you shove the ipad directly into manon’s hands.
“your turn.” manon blinks. “what?”
“read the comments.” she looks confused but takes the ipad anyway.
the conversation around you keeps moving like nothing happened. everyone continues laughing and answering questions. nobody seems to notice the sudden change in your mood.
except when you glance up for a second, you find daniela already looking at you. you immediately look away.
this time, you don’t know if she noticed what was on the screen. and honestly, you’re not sure which answer would bother you more.
───── ⋆ ꩜ ⋆ ─────
you’re sitting in your bedroom when a sudden knock sounds at the door, breaking the quiet. before you can even think about it, you call out a quick "come in."
the door swings open and daniela walks through. the moment she steps inside, your eyes automatically trail down her body, and you can't help but let out a quiet, frustrated groan to yourself. she’s wearing a simple tank top, but it’s sitting just high enough to expose a glimpse of her stomach. it drives you crazy how she effortlessly looks that good all the time without even trying.
“are you mad at me or something?”
her voice completely snaps you out of your thoughts.
“huh?” you blink, caught off guard.
she runs her tongue over her lips, turning around to shut the bedroom door behind her to give you both some privacy. “are you mad at me or something?” she asks again, not dropping the question as she crosses the room. she makes her way straight over to your bed and sits down right next to you.
you already know exactly where this conversation is going to lead, so you don’t even bother trying to argue or make up an excuse. you just shift your posture, turning your body so you're facing her fully, and give a small shake of your head. “no..why?”
she holds your gaze, staring deeply into your eyes for a long, quiet beat before she finally speaks. “felt like you were avoiding me today,” she says softly. as she speaks, she reaches out, her hand landing on your thigh and starting to trace slow, heavy strokes up and down.
“i wasn’t,” you lie quietly.
her eyes don't stay still, they jump all over your face, mapping out your expression, before dropping down at your lips and then flicking right back up to meet your gaze. “c’mere,” she murmurs, using her free hand to pat her own lap.
before you can even move, her arms are already sliding around your waist, gently but firmly tugging you toward her. no matter how hard you try, you can never find the strength to resist her. you let her pull you in until you're completely straddling her lap, your knees framing her hips.
the second dani’s lips press against the warm skin of your neck, a soft, helpless sigh escapes your mouth. it’s a temporary escape from reality, and deep down, you both know exactly what it is. but in this room, neither of you actually care.
dani’s touch grows more desperate, one of her hands slides right under the hem of your shirt, palm pressing warm against the skin of your back, while her other hand firmly squeezes your waist to hold you close.
“let me kiss you,” daniela whispers against your skin. her hands travel higher, eventually resting right against the back of your bra. she can feel the slight friction as her fingers mindlessly caress the clasp. “i’ll be gentle…”
the logical part of your brain is screaming at you to stop this right now, to pull away, to fight the intoxicating pull of dani’s lips, and to reject the quiet promises she only whispers in the dark when no one else is watching. but the agonizing ache in your heart and the overwhelming need for her connection, for some kind of reassurance that you matter to her, completely drowns out the cautious voices in your head.
so, you give in. you nod your head.
dani’s hands immediately leave your back to cradle your face with an unbelievable amount of gentleness, treating you like you're the most fragile, delicate thing she's ever held. and then she kisses you. the softness doesn't last long, though, the pace shifts quickly, the warmth turning aggressive and heavy as the unspoken tension between you overflows.
suddenly, the weight of everything you saw earlier catches up to you. you force yourself to pull back from the kiss, your breathing shallow as you look straight into daniela’s hazel eyes.
“do u think im pretty?” the question slips out.
the moment the words leave your mouth, you can feel a sharp wave of jealousy rip violently through your entire body. you absolutely hate how it makes you feel, hate how the insecurity bubbles up so heavily in your chest until it shoves its way out of your throat before you can stop it. but looking at her, you just can't help yourself.
dani doesn't hesitate, her gaze softening completely as she looks up at you. “you’re the prettiest girl in the world.”
you lean down to capture her lips again, tasting the quiet desperation in your own mouth. the kiss is deep, grounding, and for a split second, it almost burns away the image of the comments you saw. almost.
but as her hands slide down to grip your hips, holding you flush against her, the painful reality settles heavy in your chest. you know exactly what’s waiting on your phone screen. you know what the internet is saying, and you know the title she’s giving to someone else out in the light.
she breaks the kiss for a second, resting her forehead against yours, her breath hitting your lips in soft puffs. she looks at you with so much affection it makes your chest ache. you could ask her right now. you could bring up the rumors, the posts, the truth. but looking at her eyes, you realize you don’t want to hear her confirm it. you don’t want to force a choice that might end with you getting left in the dark completely.
so, you push the jealousy down. you shove it deep into your chest where she can’t see it, burying the ache under the familiar warmth of her touch.
"i missed you," daniela murmurs, her thumb softly smoothing over your cheek.
"missed you too," you whisper back, pulling her back in for another kiss.
you'll ignore the words on the screen. you'll ignore the fact that this isn't exactly what you want, or what you deserve. as long as she keeps coming back to your room, looking at you like this behind closed doors, you'll choose the silence. you'll keep playing this part, because a piece of her in secret is still better than losing her completely.
