Something I think about a lot is the performance of gender. I often struggle to differentiate between my own personal desire to feel feminine, and the internalized pressure to conform to "acceptable" beauty standards.
Recently, I have been letting my leg hair grow out. I am trying to be more confident in my natural body. It doesn't make sense to me to preach feminism while consciously making choices that contradict that. While it's certainly less effort not dealing with razor burn and stubble, I find myself insecure. There is hair that I can confidently say that I don't mind (or even like), but I am a lot hairier than most girls I know. I still shave my legs when I want to feel pretty in a fancy dress, or when I want to wear a bikini. When I don't, I feel like it ruins my look. It isn't something that I like to admit, but it's the truth. I do in fact feel less beautiful when my legs are hairy.
Looking pretty makes me feel good, but I realize that it wouldnāt have that effect if I didnāt live in a society where beauty correlates to value. Part of me wonders if itās really so wrong to just indulge and be vain sometimes. I mean, I do it anyways, but should I be so hard on myself about it? Is being self aware enough, or is it worth it to make the effort to change?
I think that my relationship with how I look is pretty decent right now, but comparison is what drags me down. This is kind of what inspired this post, actually. I was just rewatching mean girls and I couldnāt help but to get that slight tinge of jealousy that I feel towards girls that just naturally look like they smell like freshly shampooed hair and vanilla, and their faces never get oily, and they never get tired of sitting up straight. I donāt consider myself an insecure person in general, but something about girls like that makes me feel alien AND ITS SOOO frustrating because I KNOWWW WHY!!! Thereās like this huge sense of cognitive dissonance within me and it drives me crazy sometimes.
Anyways I kind of feel like I lost the plot but oh well this is my blog
Are you an incoming Buffalo State freshman who wants to know how to manage your mental health and education?
Look no further!!
As a freshman here who has to manage my own mental health every day, trust, I get it. The workload here is certainly not the worst compared to other universities (unless, of course, your professor is sick the whole first month and then has you complete all the month's assignments at once...) but it can definitely still get overwhelming.
Firstly, here is a great video from Crash Course (my personal favorite educational channel) that talks about managing and stabilizing your mental health as a college student! I think this video is a perfect place to start when trying to balance your mental health and education.
In the introduction of this video, Erica Brozovsky acknowledges that starting college is a very overwhelming experience for nearly everyone. So, if you're feeling overwhelmed by the sudden responsibilities and independence, you are by no means alone in that. The freedom of having to regulate and organize your life mostly on your own is incredibly overwhelming and can be very stressful if you do not have the necessary resources. Brozovsky talks about the importance of restful sleep, ideal physical health including good nutrition, mindfulness, and support systems including counseling and interest groups. (She actually mentions food pantries as a good resource, which we do have on campus!)
One on-campus resource I've personally found helpful is the ACE (Advancing Completion through Engagement) Program that Buffalo State provides. The program is open to 21 different majors, thankfully including my major, Fashion Design!
Basically, this program helps students with financial funding as well as tutoring help and educational management resources. As part of the ACE program, you'll be assigned an advisor who helps you navigate your college experience. They will give you as much assistance as they're able, so I would always recommend going to your advisor for questions or advice involving your class schedule, studying, etc.!
Their website states that "ACE provides a range ofĀ financial, academic, and personal support, including intensive academic advisement and career counseling, as well as tuition, textbook, and Bengal Bucks." I personally have benefitted greatly from the aid this program provides!!
Another campus resource you should keep in mind is the E.H. Butler Library!
I have used the printing stations many times, since I do not own a printer myself, and that has been so helpful for me. There are several computer monitors available in the library for students to use in place of personal computers - I've had to use these before, after forgetting my computer at home! Iāve also had to fix issues with my student ID card at the help desk multiple times, and each time, the staff has been very friendly and understanding. The libraryās huge collection is also a great resource for studying if you'd rather (or need to) use printed materials!
Along with the ones I've already mentioned, the library has several more built-in resources, including group study rooms that you can reserve, a quiet reading room, scanning machines, tutoring, accessibility services, and IT help.
If you need to try a new study method, "body doubling" is a great option!
It is often suggested for students with ADHD, but it could work for anyone who needs some extra accountability in their studying. This method is actually a very common practice in studying, work, and hobbies!! People use body doubling in:
Group fitness classes
Study groups
Working/studying in public spaces
Hobby clubs
Doing housework together
Etc.....
How does body doubling work when studying?
Simply ask a friend or classmate to work in the same space with you! You don't even have to be doing the same work, but the closeness works as a non-stressful form of accountability. This also helps if you get lonely easily, or get anxious alone.
(Also, the shared space doesn't even have to be in person! I use body doubling over facetime all the time--just try different things and see what works for you personally!)
I hope that you find these resources helpful, and use them throughout your college experience!! Thank you for reading :)
thinking rn about how women subconsciously diminish their own handiwork and skill by calling woodworking, electrical work, home renovations, etc etc stuff that takes crazy skill and power tools and shit "DIY projects" rather than whatever men call them
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