philosopher crook

Lia, she/her, mid-20s

[cameliawrites]

kanej fic masterlist (organized by rating, then by length) (* = locked to non-ao3 users)

Minor Miracles* (2k words, rating: T) - Inej tells Kaz stories from the True Sea; Kaz ponders other miracles–namely, the girl beside him.

Second Chances* (2k words, rating: T) - Kaz contemplates aging, and healing, and finding his peace.

see it in your face, i’m relief* (2k words, rating: T) -  A moment in the Van Eck garden for Kaz to fall even farther in love with Inej.

Something Tender* (4k words, rating: T) - In which Kaz brushes Inej’s hair. That’s it; that’s the fic.

secretly, between the shadow and the soul* (4k words, rating: T) - In which Inej’s parents are all-too-eager to make Kaz into their son-in-law. Truthfully, he doesn’t much mind.

love is not love which alters when it alteration finds (4k words, rating: T) - Kaz and Inej, celebrating a marriage anniversary.

in hope, yours (4.5k words, rating: T) - Belgium, 1923. Inej and Kaz Rietveld adjust to a changing world and, perhaps, learn to grow something new. Inspired by Whitherward’s brilliant WWI AU, “save the undone years.”

the muscle cut from the bone (5k words, rating: T) - Kaz and Inej, falling apart and falling back together.

In the Wild Soft Summer Darkness* (5k words, rating: T) - As the summer heat scorches in Ketterdam, Kaz and Inej take to Kaz’s childhood home in the countryside. Of course, each of them seems to have a separate scheme afoot; whether to savor the season’s sweetness, or to let it slip away.

let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments (5k words, rating: T) -  In which Kaz & Inej negotiate the particularities of a marriage contract—for the tax benefits, of course, but also for the sake of their undying devotion to one another.

and there’s a drawer of my things at your place (6k words, rating: T) -  5 times Inej learns something about Kaz’s living habits + 1 time he learns something about hers.

(and you know that I’d) swing with you for the fences, sit with you in the trenches* (6k words, rating: T) - After a week of sleepless nights at sea, Inej returns to Kaz in Ketterdam, but old wounds are hard to heal.

softly sleeping, here in the deep end of someone who loves me (6k words, rating: T) -  5 times Inej sneaks into Kaz’s bed + 1 time she doesn’t.

let me come home (to you)* (6k words, rating: T) - Collaboration fic with @alltheworldsinmyhead. Sometimes, the time for hard conversations comes in the middle of the night.

To Give, Then to Receive (6k words, rating: T) -  Three gifts given by Kaz, and one received.

someone to watch over me* (7k words,  rating: T) - In which Inej catches one too many eyes while seeking information at a mercher’s soirée, and Kaz can’t help but cut in before the last dance.

there’s a touch of you in me - (10k words, rating: T) - Collaboration fic with @tough-n-dumb. Five times Kaz was given affection without touch, and one time Kaz returns the favor. Post-CK.

Sea Change* (16k words, rating: T) - In the months following her departure on the Wraith, Inej comes to learn that the sea is as restless as her own heart. Oceans away in Ketterdam, Kaz cannot help but follow her lead. A story in four parts.

Sea Glass (rating: T, ongoing fic anthology) -  A collection of fics and fragments, short and sweet, centered on Kaz & Inej post-Crooked Kingdom.

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the heart heeds helplessly* (1k words, rating: M) - In which Inej discovers the romance of poetry and religion, not just in the soul, but in the body as well.

A Proposition* (3k words, rating: M) - Pre-canon. Inej approaches Kaz with a surprising suggestion.

Fear Talking* (3k words, rating M) - In which an inquiry from Inej’s father leads her to question the difference between could and would, to doubt, and then to demand some answers.

Lingers Sweetly on the Lips* (3k words, rating: M) -  A quiet, intimate night in between Kaz and Inej, whatever names they choose to take.

Devotion (6k words, rating: M) - New York City, late 1950s. Inej has to bail Kaz out of jail - again.

honey, i could be your bodyguard* (8k words, rating: M) - Inej is jealous and thirsty. Kaz certainly doesn’t make that any easier for her. (Sequel: give me more than just some butterflies*, 4k words, rating M)

collision course (10k words, rating: M) - Inej adjusts to Kaz the way that winter adjusts to spring: she thaws, and thaws, and thaws—and then she utterly melts. (Bonus drabble: sea to the shore*, 375 words, rating: T)

The Demon Under the Bridge* (26k words, rating: M) - The demon slain in the tale of Sankta Margaretha isn’t the only one lurking in Ketterdam’s dark canals, as the Menagerie’s Lynx is about to discover. (Demon-Kaz AU.)

what a mother wants (10k words, rating: M) -  Kaz and Inej are taking their three-year-old daughter to visit the Suli caravans for the first time, and Inej wants what all mothers want: for her child to be happy and safe. It is no surprise that her own mother wants the very same.

what a mother was (62k words, rating: M) - Before she was Inej’s mother, Shanta Ghafa had a mother too. Or: Mama & Papa Ghafa’s love story. Prequel to “what a mother wants,” but can be read as a standalone fic. 

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Note: Fics marked with an asterisk (*) are only available to read for registered ao3 users, so you have to have an account and be logged in to access them.

Finally, if you’re searching for more kanej/SOC fic, I tag all of my recommendations #fic recs.

[azaablue]

the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be apart of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.

[cameliawrites]

I promise I’ll get back to writing kanej and all eventually—my life has been temporarily derailed by a minor situationship, you see

[flythesail]

You should automatically get time off work until the light returns to your eyes and you feel like a real person again

[cameliawrites]

Of course, if they were not who they were, Inej would likely never have encountered Kaz at all. If they were not who they were—liars and thieves; lonely, wounded animals that they were—she would not know now how the fringe of his hair fell across his forehead as he slept, or how he only made his bed when he expected Inej to stay over, or how his thumb had this habit of brushing back and forth over her hipbone each time he wrapped his arm around her. Secrets she never could have collected; stories that never would have been told. Moments lost to a history she might only have imagined. Last night, he had run his pointer finger down the center of her forehead, over the bridge of her nose. When she had scrunched her cheeks up in silent laughter at his ministrations, he’d cupped his hands over either side of her jaw and pulled her fiercely up to his mouth like he was desperate to consume the sound. It was silly, simple, nothing. Senseless motion and a rush of chemicals, hardly remarkable. Inej would not have traded it for anything.

[wizardysseus]

the writer’s urge to ask your friends “do you wanna see a little somethin’ i’ve been working on?” when the little somethin’ you’ve been working on is 800 words and ends in the middle of a sentence

[machinot]

Scientists have found that if you get 8 hours of sleep and are still tired during the day it’s because your soul is cursed and your body doesn’t think you deserve happiness. There is no cure or treatment

[finalgirlabigailhobbs]

indeed.com/jobs?q=talking-and-gesturing-to-myself-about-a-fictional-character

[cameliawrites]

Beside her, Kaz’s face had twisted into the kind of grimace usually reserved for Cilla’s mystery stamppot. “And what, pray tell, do you write about me?” he rasped in a tone that told her he was bracing himself for bad news.

It wasn’t polite, and her mother might chide her for it if she saw, but Inej couldn’t help herself: she rolled her eyes again. “I confess each of your crimes, and my parents pray to the Saints morning and night that my soul won’t be too sullied by mere proximity to your myriad sins.”

Kaz scowled at her teasing, but he also glanced back at her parents once more, walking unassumingly toward the quay, as though to reassure himself she hadn’t really told them all that.

[loveridden1999]

which ao3 tag are you?

[dreidelsanddragons]

Angst with a happy ending. Damn, they got me

[thestorywitch]

Dead Dove.

Y e u p.

[shopwitchvamp]

ah. well,

[peacekeeperangel]

... *Looks at her CRK series* ....I suppose if you squint..?

[cosmicwhoreo]

.... fuck this mean?

[insomni-frog]

I don't like this quiz—

[chibifox2002]

WHY IS THIS SO ACCURATE TO HOW SO MANY PEOPLE DESCRIBE ME AS WAIT A MINUTE-

[lilaira]

H E H

[teland]

Jesus fucking...

[aichu-dechu]

[lighthousenora]

Alternate universe I BEG TO DIFFER

[bread-tab]

somehow, amazingly, i have hacked the impulse that makes me mindlessly scroll on my phone. it's not gone but i've paired it with a conscious thought process that goes like, "what's my goal here? i'm looking for entertainment, for information, for something that makes me feel more optimistic and interested in the world i live in..."

and because that kicks in between apps, too, i'm not doomscrolling as much. i'm intentionally seeking out posts or videos or whatever that actually mean something to me. when i'm not satisfied i walk away or pick up a book instead. most subtle yet impactful change i've gone through in years

i did not intentionally set out to change this. i've just been working on my mindset in general. hey, turns out having a good therapist again helps

[bread-tab]

thank you to everyone who has liked this post for reminding me to keep up the habit. just caught myself doomscrolling and remembered i have a nice podcast i could be listening to instead

[bread-tab]

This post is picking up again and like, this is a stressful time of year. It's the holidays, some of us are going through exams, it's approaching the winter solstice in the northern hemisphere which means it's dark all the time and lots of people are dealing with seasonal affective disorder and feeling depressed.

(Sidebar for southern hemisphere folks: if you randomly get more depressed in the summer, that can also be seasonal affective disorder!)

You may find yourself scrolling more than usual, because you're understimulated, or overstimulated, or trying to cheer yourself up or distract yourself. That's okay.

If it's helping you feel better, then this is a valid way of coping.

If it's not helping, then this is a signal to be kinder to yourself; rest, redirect to a more restorative activity or take some time for self-care you may have been putting off. You don't need to be mad at yourself for scrolling, even if it's something you're trying to cut down on. This is your brain trying to help.

[demo-whale]

“My Dearest, Please Stay Awhile”

I’ve written my first full-length Kanej fic! It follows Inej and Kaz as they navigate their feelings during one of her stays in Ketterdam (with plenty of cameos from Jesper and Wylan of course). It’s one of my favorite works that I’ve written. Find it on AO3 here!

[cameliawrites]

there's this one scene in a fic that i remember finding so funny but i cant for the life of me remember its plot (or title!)

(there's a scene where one of the younger members of inej's crew asks her if Dirtyhands is handsome, and jokes about taking him to bed. then at the end of the fic, the same crew member sees Kaz come out of the Captain's quarters after Inej as realisation dawns on her. this cracked me up.)

would love to know if you had any idea which fic this was!

I knew *exactly* what you were talking about and I remembered, of all details, that it was a 3-chapter fic, and I scoured my bookmarks to find it—and sure enough, you’re referencing chapter 2 of “A Life for Us” by @quillsthrills. SUCH a good post-canon kanej fic!

[bloodfreakcastiel]

at least they keep falling in love in every universe on ao3

[bloodclotbitch]

The people in front of you at the post office are always the most insane creatures you didn’t know god could make whose one goal is to waste away the day. The people behind you at the post office are desperately trying to feel the warmth of human touch via your back

[russsiawave]

[pallegina]

*uses an em dash and a colon in the same sentence* we're done when i say we're done.