country club& trailer park

qualis artifex pereo ao3 & wattpad

[camerondevelopment]

headcanon of mine I just noticed is Barry having such an intense palmar grasp reflex/prey drive in the sense of if you twitch away from him he grabs. On one hand, and this gets Rafe triggered so badly too, him sensing you’re afraid of him for no reason gets him mad like a self fulfilling prophecy, but more so thinking about Rafe playing mad and pulling a hand away, turning his head, leaning the other way having him turn violent in a split second like it’s the subtlest pull away and he’s brutally grabbing you and forcing himself on just to make a point and it’s so entirely out of proportion every time

[umathurwin]

rafe throwing cash at barry and saying he has to help him because he’ll “do anything for money” is so rich like rafe hasn’t done unspeakable things to barry for a hit

[camerondevelopment]

even more embarrassing he’s trying to be like his dad directly copying the way Ward threw money at Barry before

[camerondevelopment]

this random hate comment is pure poetry to me

[camerondevelopment]

Barry hearing about Wards death is like that joke of being the age where you don’t know how to react when your friend tells you they’re pregnant, like…congratulations..or not??

I think he actually goes with isn’t this what you wanted, don’t blame him ok it’s hard to keep track. I mean, he can tell by the sheer insanity in Rafe’s darkening eyes that it was the wrong call but the way Rafe goes off on a fucking tangent then of what a rotten fucking junkie Barry is, that he’d even think Rafe would want his father dead, if all the drugs really fried his brain beyond repair, or he’s just a disgusting liar like the rest of them, can’t think of any rn but insane insults that truly are below the belt on and on, with full fucking seriousness on how outlandish it is to suggest Rafe would (ever) want his own father dead, and Barry is just sitting there, letting him go off with his utter disrespect silently contemplating if he feels too sorry for Rafe’s state of mind or if he should just explain exactly where he got the random impression that Rafe would want his father dead

[camerondevelopment]

Barry will do anything for money except…take advantage of the goddamn fact that he owns Rafe mf Cameron?? Use the delicious piece of information he’s sitting on to make the boy do practically anything??

[camerondevelopment]

quitting a whole drug just cause it reminds you of the dealer you used to fuck for a few weeks the last summer of your youth is kinda crazy but whatever works I guess

[camerondevelopment]

still so fucking bothered by Ward saying “I’d figured you’d know to find me here, of all people” when Rafe confronts him s3e8 at that stupid random fishing hut like how dare you put this much weight and meaning on this place and we have no idea why. Or is there a known reason and I missed it? Why Rafe, of all people? Because he’s so super duper smart? Because they have some kind of history together at that place? What the fuck do you mean. This keeps me up at night

[camerondevelopment]

what do u think about sarah cameron's photo double spoiling about barry being at jarah's wedding

thanks for telling me omg I don’t use TikTok or twitter so I don’t know shit about shit. If it’s true I imagine the wedding as like one ‘final’ scene where every character ever gets together. So like at best it’s for 0.02 seconds in a crowd? And the hat just looks like something Nick would wear, it’s super random for Barry. I mean cool because if he is in fact there for 0.02 seconds with no explanation I’ll write some stupid smut explaining it but otherwise I just wanna watch a coherent story, you know what I mean, I don’t wanna get pulled out of it just so you can have a sappy scene of random characters coming together. On top of that after all we’ve seen…Sarah and John B having a big wedding? Please.. Anyways this still gives me a tiny sliver of hope that Barry will be more involved this season fingers crossed

[lostsyren]

The Illusion of Care

Something about Rafe feeling like he has to inhabit a caregiving role. To dole out his wealth as a reward…for what?

With Barry it doesn’t even make any sense. Barry wanted to corner John B too…there was a mutual goal. Yet Rafe still offers some sorta incentive for him.

Even with Sofia, a proposal this young feels stupid. (As far as he knows) she’s on the same page as him…there’s a mutual understanding with them too. Still he incentivises her to stay.

It’s all so unnecessary yet he does it time and time again.

You know I’ll take care of you.

I want you to quit your job...move in with me.

These easy declarations that always seem to be on the tip of his tongue. Is it overcompensating? Feeling like he needs to always give to receive what he wants. Or does he possess a superiority complex over them, thinking they’re always in need.

Neither Sofia or Barry even ask for his care. They both work. They both provide for themselves. They never ask Rafe for anything…he always just…assumes they need taking care of.

But even then, it’s funny how he doesn’t live up to his word.

What does he do to take care of Barry? He just uses him, until the last handful of cash thrown, before Barry wises up and sells him out.

And what does he do to take care of Sofia? Playing in her face after nearly 2 years, and then when she finally tries to get something out of that wasted time, he pulls the future card?

His care and “love” is a fickle thing, almost childlike. And Sofia and Barry are people who have had to grow up and be grown up. They know reliance is dangerous (Barry more so than Sofia).

While Rafe relies on everyone, and then consequently, wants everyone to rely on him.

In some sorta bid for power? Or is that just how he thinks relationships function?

[camerondevelopment]

the thing is that we I mean Barry had everything but he was too scared no too spoiled thinking he’d have Rafe forever, overwhelmed with opportunities he couldn’t even handle, ugh sorry no just he deserves it, I mean what’s coming to him, I mean losing Rafe, I mean having all that slip through his fingers, it’s just he failed Rafe and, in the same way he’s still at his fathers feet, he’s there seeking for some sort of…explanation for why he was never enough to take like you just got this grown, powerful man there now, and he’s still just begging to be told why he wasn’t enough, why he’ll never be, now less than ever, too big, too strong, too much, and no way back into a smaller, more lovable self,

there’s just more aggression, more begging, there’s just making himself ever and ever more unlovable in every attempt at connection, it’s the fact that Rafe only ever went as far against his father in an attempt to please Barry, in an attempt to impress him, in an attempt to fulfill orders he thought he heard in the same way his father used to leave the most important directions unspoken, and it’s the fact that by trying, by sacrificing, he ruined both, he pushed Barry further away than he ever could, for Barry is and always was scared of the risk in Rafe, the uncertainty, the volatility, and Rafe proved more than ever with his stunts in s3 that he can not be trusted, not even with his own thoughts, not with his actions, that his ‘loyalty’ means nothing, since he can never be of sound enough mind to truly mean it. In a way, yes, Barry nudging Rafe towards killing Ward was a test, a test that Rafe recognized and wanted to succeed at, but it wasn’t a me or him, it was a test of Rafe’s character and he failed it. Only proved how influenceable, how volatile, unreliable he really is, and that Barry certainly isn’t the one to still this. At that’s it then. High risk, high reward, Rafe says when offering the cross, when offering himself back, when asking Barry to take the risk and believe he’s not out for revenge, he is the reward. With that grin, like he knows Barry’s one to catch with it. When low risk is Barry’s fucking middle name. And Rafe is high risk, low reward, Rafe is not worth the effort, Rafe is too much a hassle, Rafe is too much and not enough.

[camerondevelopment]

[camerondevelopment]

speaking of drooling, just posted a fic I once deleted and honestly I see why I deleted it, it is a little dry, but it’s different from my other fics since it’s more about like, actual negotiated ‘healthy’ submission and ykw maybe that’s what makes it dry for me, it kind of lacks energy. Ok great promo, anyways, it’s still sweet stuff.

[camerondevelopment]

[camerondevelopment]

Thinking about how Ward giving away the cross was so totally unnecessary. Like he truly did just do it to take it away from Rafe. Rafe built quite the fucking ego over that cross and he needed him to know that it was absolutely worthless to their family. That Rafe didn’t contribute a cent. That it was all still Ward. In a way, it really was a way to test Rafe, push him back down again and signal that he was to follow orders, no matter how much he dislikes them, see if he still knows how to listen. And it was only Ward pushing Rafe this way that made things escalate then. Cause he could’ve just let Rafe sell the business and all that and come back, but no, the second Rafe is out of reach for Ward he starts going crazy about needing more control over him, and does the shit with the cross. Like genuinely Rafe is away for one day and he starts itching

[camerondevelopment]

[camerondevelopment]

ngl you guys Rafe’s random character change really tempts me to write selfcest but I have no idea how

[camerondevelopment]

Don’t care if it’s golden as long as he’s in a cage

[camerondevelopment]

the pathetic things man does for a look like that