Body Image Part 1: Skin, my Journey (quite long)
So, this is going to be in two parts..one about skin/acne and the second about weight.
How about i start from the beginning...I had gorgeous clear skin-- which i took for granted, up until grade 8. I started to completely break out--randomly, it hasn't gone away since. This was around the end of grade 8. During the Christmas holidays it settled down, but never fully went away-- I was trying everything. Different brands, routines. By doing this i was just aggravating my skin more. So i tried a new product which contained beta-hydroxy. I had a reaction (may have been allergic), a terrible one, every part on my face broke out. In my quest to get perfect skin i made it worse. Luckily this was during the June/July holidays of grade 9. I didn't want to go out, i cried myself to sleep at night--first world problems. I stopped rubbing my skin, and irritating it. I just cleansed, toned and moisturised. This helped immensely, meaning i could go back to school without looking like a tomato. I tried absolutely every remedy, treatment. Witch hazel, baking soda, honey masks, cinnamon masks, egg masks, green tea. That's all i can think of off the top of my head. I was the most insecure i have ever been.
Looking around i saw almost nobody in my grade with bad skin. I felt alone and isolated. I kept up an act at school, remaining happy at all times. Don't get me wrong, i wasn't all mopey and sad, but the majority of the second and third term were miserable-- i know i may sound pathetic but that's how i felt. I swear no one had skin as bad as mine--except maybe one person.
I wanted to know their secret, how do they get perfect skin. Some said they didn't wash their face at all, some said they just cleansed and moisturised--that was it..oh the envy. So i decided that it was most likely my hormones. Gotta love hormones.
So i decided to get a routine, with products from the same brand- mostly (so no products would react badly with eachother). I would cleanse, tone, and moisturise. I rarely exfoliate (i know, i know crazy right) But i don't want to irritate my skin like i had before. I am now EXTREMELY careful in what i use. From that reaction i had with a certain product i learnt to
2. Products will be different on every person, so find one that works for you
When it started to significantly decrease in inflammation, i was feeling a lot better in my self-esteem. I used to be so annoyed with people who said that their 'cure' for acne was medication. I was only annoyed/jealous because my parents wouldn't let me see a dermatologist. They thought i was overreacting (they didn't really know how bad i was struggling with it). But, when i went to the doctors for a separate issue, we just asked about anything we could do to reduce my acne. My mum only agreed to us asking this because she saw how low my self-esteem was due to my skin. I got prescribed doxy and epiduo gel. It has decreased inflammation and bumps but it is definitely no 'cure'. I am lucky enough to be able to afford this and ask for it, so i was very reluctant to put this in my blog, but i thought i would share it anyway--just to show you my journey.
It hasn't gone away and I still struggle with it. It is significantly less red and inflamed from June/july this year, but no one is perfect and neither am i. To be honest i was fine going outside with no makeup on with terrible skin, but i was so afraid of what everyone else was thinking, that i didn't want to go anywhere where people could see me. I can't wear make up to school, as we aren't allowed to, I wouldn't either. I hate it and it makes me feel eghh. I know, a girl who doesn't love makeup--crazy right ;) It probably has something to do with when i used to dance. We put soo much makeup on for our performances, i think i just grew old to it.
I don't have a cure, i don't think anyone does but just know that you aren't alone, a lot of people suffer from bad skin--even if no one around you does. Stop worrying about what everyone else thinks, if you want to go out barefaced go out. Show others that you don't care what you think. This is really hard to do, especially considering i don't do it that often--i don't go out that much anyway--but just remember you aren't alone and if you want to go see your gp or a dermatologist ask your parents. I got shut down the first couple of times (actually like 10), but just explain to them how you are feeling, hopefully they will be understanding, just like my mum was :)
Now i could probably go on and on about this, so if you want to know anything else just ask.
UPDATE: So a year on, my skin has gotten so much better, it took a year but I am finally happy---knock on wood. Don't get me wrong I have bad days especially during a certain time of the month but i got into a simple routine and my skin is happyish ;) I just cleanse either with a face wash or face wipes (facial wipes are god for school days and lazy days). then moisturise: this is morning and night. At night only i put a spot treatment before bed, i also ex foliate 2-3 times a week - lightly.
So, patience is key, it's isn't gonna happen over night but have confidence in yourself and you can do pretty much anything...you most likely won't be able to fly though..sorry bout that aha :)
Have a nice day. hope to see you again :)
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