Candy, Chicks and Rock&Roll @candychicksandrock - Tumblr Blog

liberalsarecool

There is no product. It's a scam sold as "you need to act now or everyone will pass you by".

liberalsarecool

Also, Conor McGregor blew out his knee in like nine seconds last night and Drake lost a million dollars betting on him.

So even better

liberalsarecool

Never forget.

perlukafarinn

One of the rookies on the Centaurs asking the guys on the team for advice on this girl he's been trying to date. He can't tell if she likes him and is just nervous about taking it to the next level, or if she's trying to let him down easy and he hasn't been able to pick up on it.

He doesn't get much useful advice and soon the guys are arguing about how long you can pursue someone before it starts getting pathetic. Holmberg is at one end of the spectrum at two weeks ("We're rich professional athletes, man, we shouldn't have to try that hard.") and Wyatt Hayes is on the other at three months ("Maybe she likes you but just doesn't want the WAG lifestyle. You need to prove to her that you see her as a person with her own goals separate from yours.")

Then someone notices that Ilya, despite his wealth of experience, hasn't chimed in yet and asks, "What do you think, Cap?"

"Two years."

The entire room goes still.

"What?"

"Two years," Ilya repeats, completely unashamed. "Is not pathetic to go for what you want. Not if you think they're worth it."

In sync, every person in the room turns to look at Shane, who's pretending to fiddle with the laces on his skates, looking pink-faced and vaguely pleased.

Finally, Holmberg turns to the rookie. "Okay, I guess two years is fine if it's Shane Hollander. Is your girl Shane Hollander?"

The poor rookie has no response to that. His girl is, indeed, not literally Shane Hollander.

"Man, gay people move different," LaPointe mutters.

"This is not a gay thing," Troy objects. "This is a Rozanov and Hollander thing."

liberalsarecool

Parasites don’t care when they kill the host.

liberalsarecool

"I want children to suffer" is the ultimate flex by red-pilled conservative anti-feminist dorks who are equally racist when screeching about birth rates dropping.