Synopsis »» After six years of sticking by cult leader Suguru you're slowly starting to realize maybe it wasn't the best decision to leave your entire life behind for him when he first set out.
Pairing »» Geto Suguru x fem!reader
Content »» Eighteen+, smut, manipulation, gaslighting? mention of blood, pussy slapping, dub con. Reader has an arc. Suguru being a manipulative asshole. Suguru begging😈
Being a close confidant to a cult leader wasn’t always easy but this was the life you’d chosen for yourself six years ago.
You’d followed behind him like a puppy that had been fed once, leaving the only people and the life you knew behind you. You still remember that day, how could you forget? The day he told you about what he’d done to that village and how he’d saved two little girls. He’d said he’d done it for them and that he had a goal and you had decided then that yours was loving him.
Seeing him go through the predicament after Riko’s death made you feel a sense of responsibility to be there for him, going so far as to end up promising to help build an empire for him from scratch. He was your best friend after all and not to mention all the times he had put you before himself. Young love you’d assumed, had blinded you, or was it your fear of losing the only person who had held your head above water for over two years of your life? You’d managed to convince yourself of course that it was your love for him that made you chose the path you had but how long can one lie to themself.
With age, however, things started to change. Your thoughts and ideals had changed and questions about if you truly wanted to use the powers the universe had blessed you with to help a mad man towards his foolish goal, plagued your mind.
After six years of sticking by his side, you no longer thought Suguru was right for killing innocent people while simultaneously trying to come up with a plan to wipe the world clean of the "monkeys". He thought he could create a world that was free of prejudice, free of discrimination. Anyone could see how vain his ideals were, maybe he did too. It was ignorant, you felt, what he thought was possible. Your realization had come a bit too late for your own liking however. You had managed to stand by him even when it came with the cost of shutting down your own thoughts, lying to your own subconscious and suppressing your own opinions, for six years, because of course you had blindly assumed, when you were younger, that Suguru would know what he was doing. You told yourself night after night that this is what was truly needed in a world where human beings feared and shunned anything that they would not understand, the very likes of a man whose arms you were in, until it started to drive you to the brink of insanity.
Through your own struggles came the realization of the burden he had carried back in Jujutsu high. You'd always wondered what must have happened in his head to have to have gone and killed his own loving parents but never understood it of course...until now.
But how can you sympathize with a man who had killed so many, right before your eyes and you, were you really in a position to judge the man when you had willingly stood by him, going as far as to help him in his madness.
Six years of having witnessed the contempt he held for the common folk, his lack of hesitation when he executed someone who disagreed with him and the unfailing madness in his eyes, that seemed like determination thus far, like they were the eyes of someone with purpose and a desperation to make the world a better place, had worn down the illusion you had built around yourself, like a constant stream of water cutting through solid rock and grinding it down into rough jagged gravel. The rose-tinted glasses had been slipping down slowly but surely until one day they shattered and you finally saw Suguru...or Geto — because the sweet high-school boy you’d once loved was long gone, replaced with a mad man in his place — for what he is. A harebrained man slowly driving himself towards the cliff.
After all these years you no longer wanted to help him build his card castle. You wanted him to stop because you knew how his fate would end. You tried, in vain efforts, when you first started to see that what he was doing was wrong, to try and bring back your Suguru but soon realized that the man you loved so dearly is no longer there, not even when the costume of a monk comes off.
Nevertheless, he seems to have picked up on what’s going on with his lover, because he's always been able to see through you, and your strange behaviour that came along your own moral dilemma was surely not lost on him. It started small, with you sleeping longer than usual, sometimes in the afternoons just so you can shut your brain out along with the world until it reached to a point where you’d no longer sit by him for his preachings or show up in his room after the estate fell quiet with the sole intention of being in his arms.
You’d think he would empathize with you, try to be there for you since he knows how it feels to have to go through a predicament of the sorts but all he would do is urge you to eat sometimes, snap at you when you'd ask too many questions—about how moral his ideals where or how plausible his ways were for that matter—that even he couldn't answer or shut you up by stuffing you full of his cock while whispering sweet things along the lines of how much he loves you and how he cannot imagine what he would’ve been if it were not for you beside him all this while, helping him, looking after him and loving him in all of this so unconditionally.
Geto had mostly just one answer to all your questions and it was his body. He knew your body well enough to the point where getting you to deflect things by making love to you wasn’t at all a big deal for him. He’d hold you close, stroke your hair and kiss your skin on all the right spots that would made you melt and break down in his arms.
It was fine at first, you didnt think much of it. You'd give in because you love him, love feeling his skin on yours, love his voice, especially when the sorrow seemed to swallow you whole. But it didnt take too long for you to realize what he was doing. He was trying to get you to stop thinking, he was doing this so you wouldn’t think his goals are in vain and end up sticking by him through the end. The nagging feeling, the slight pang of annoyance you'd feel when he'd kiss you to shut you up, the feeling you'd push down and convinced yourself that this was his attempt to make you feel better just like all the others times he did, had grown to a point where you could no longer ignore it. It was like torturous rain trying to destroy the mud house that you were trying to build slowly with just your hands.
You'd gotten better now, or so you assumed, at seeing things for what they are instead of what you imagined. You’d accepted that your heart can no longer feel at ease supporting him in his madness.
It was a gloomy night, unexpectedly so for that time of the year. The leaves in the garden hissed at the wind and rain started to fall in a drizzle. You had decided to take a long shower to clear your mind — showers being the only thing that seem to help you sort out the maelstrom of thoughts, the previous one questioning the next, like dominos hitting the floor one after the other — and were getting ready for bed in your own bedroom. Geto never shared bedrooms. You'd never questioned why, although you found it odd. You had assumed it was because he was now a leader, a ruler, a makeshift king of sorts, that maybe he would have his own thoughts to sort, ideas to make note of, working till late at night, tossing and turning the same idea over and over again in his head in an attempt to come up with something new.
Your long black hair that was freshly washed fell over your shoulders drying in soft fluffy waves while you rubbed in lotions and creams onto your skin, your hands working gently under the flimsy robe. Footsteps echoed in the hallway before the door snapped open. You werent expecting him tonight, that's what you told yourself because you couldn’t accept that you’d come to a point where you’d wish that he wouldn’t come to you night after night.
"Weather's funny. Isnt supposed to rain around this time" he says as he slides the door shut.
You dont turn around as you finish rubbing in the lotion on your shoulder, closing the container shut and placing it down.
"Yeah" you reply and make your way to the bed without turning to face him. His mood sours. You can feel the anger starting to brew, coming off him in waves as the rain slaps harder against the windows drowning out any other noises the night carries. But one thing he hadn’t lost in all these years was his patience atleast around those he cared for.
He sighs as you slide under the sheets. He gets in right after you, sliding an arm around your waist firmly as he drags you closer to him until his chest is pressed firmly against your back.
"What is it?” “ ...You're thinking too much again, love. How many times have I told you to give your brain a break, hm?" He whispers in your ear, nuzzling his nose in your neck whilst his hand rubs slow circles on your stomach over the robe.
He cuts you off at that, his grip on you turning tighter "Stop calling me Geto. You dont call me Geto like you're a stranger or one of those monkeys" he sneers in your ear. The sheer entitlement and his audacity to believe that he deserved to be treated the same as he had been before you’d realized everything wrong with him, was insulting to say the least especially when he had been refusing to even acknowledge your struggles.
His grip loosens slightly. "Sweetheart, you make me worry" he says as his hand slips into the flimsy robe grazing your warm skin. His touch still makes you shudder despite the resentment that has been growing within you.
"You're overthinking. I’m fine" you say as you try to pry his hand away but he doesn’t let up. He keeps you close to him and starts kissing up your neck.
"Geto, I’m not in the mood" you utter.
"You're never in the fucking mood these days" he grits out in your ear as his hand trails down to your legs and shifts the robe aside to cup you between your thighs firmly. "What is it, huh? You dont like me anymore, is that it?", he grabs you harder as he pulls the robe down your shoulder with his teeth and starts kissing the soft skin there.
"Stop it..." you whimper and squirm in his grasp causing your hips to rub against the palm of his hand. You try once more in a weak attempt to pry his hand away from your waist. "No. I’m not fuckin stopping, doll face”, he mocks as he grinds his palm against your folds. Your body seems to betray your brain as you feel yourself growing wet.
"It’s “Geto" instead of "Suguru" to you now and suddenly you dont want me in your room or your bed or on you-" he grinds out and the hint of sadness laced in his voice isnt lost on you no matter how hard he’d tried to mask it.
"I don’t... want to do this right now-" you say.
"That's too fucking bad. You'll take what I give like a good girl, like you always have" and with that he pulls you back closer against him as he grinds his rock-hard cock on your ass in filthily circles that makes your pussy throb with need.
"Geto... please you dont get it I-" you say as a traitorous whimper escapes your lips.
He shuts you up with a sharp bite to your shoulder and a slap to your pulsing heat. "Oh, I get it alright. Suddenly you dont want to be mine, dont want me touching you." He scoffs mockingly "My pathetic doll is finally growing a brain and a spine for herself, yea? Gonna leave me behind and go your own way? Gonna go back to Gojo and Shoko? Tell ‘em all my plans?"
"So, you think I’m pathetic?" you gasp as he slides two thick fingers past your swollen lips brushing them against the wetness. He hums as he peppers your neck and shoulder with desperate kisses while his fingers play with the slick, rubbing it over your folds and feeling you clench around nothing.
"Pathetic girl. Followed me like a puppy without thinking twice, thinking you could fix me, thinking I'll realize someday and stop. Should've just stayed behind when I'd pushed you away. You're nothing but a pathetic idiot" he groans and sinks his teeth into your trapezius. His fingers keep teasing your pussy without giving you what you need, like he's punishing you for even questioning things while his length has long slipped out of his own robe, stiff and hard against your back, pre-cum wetting the thin material of your robe. He keeps grinding against your ass shamelessly. For him, there wasn’t such a thing around you.
"I’m not- I didnt-" you try to protest but he pays no interest to listen to you and undoes the wrap of your robe and slips his free hand to your breasts, groping you roughly. "Yea? Yea, pretty? Didnt follow me thinking you can fix me, hm? Didnt follow me because you were scared of letting me go?" he mocks.
All you can do is whimper and throw your head back while you’re torn apart between wanting to push him away and keep his close. You want to push him away, you have to and in a minute you were pulling away, sitting up and pulling your robe back together while looking down at his face that was etched with confusion and annoyance.
"I told you I’m in no mood to do this tonight" you snap finally.
He sits up abruptly "tell me fucking why. Why the hell are u acting so weird lately?"
You look at him and hope he can’t see the sadness in your eyes and reply firmly, "you know why."
"Oh, so you want to leave. Is that it?! Is that what you want?!" He raises his voice.
"I DON’T KOWN WHAT I WANT! BUT I DON’T WANT THIS! ...whatever this is..." your heart thuds in your chest. You'd never once raised your voice at him let alone tell him that you no longer want what you both have. He's not surprised of course; he's perspective enough to know this was coming one day or the other. Suguru wasn’t foolish. He knew you weren’t the same girl you were six years ago. Not the timid, clueless girl who hadn’t thought twice before walking away from everything she knew just for the sake of love.
“I don’t know what I want anymore. I’m tired. Staying here with you, it’s tearing me apart-“
He cuts you off before you can say anything more.
“PLEASE” he says as he reaches out to wrap his arm around your waist and pull you closer. It takes you by surprise the way he’s pleading, the same man who wouldn’t hesitate to publicly execute anyone who disagreed with him is now in your bed pleading for you. You don’t get much time to think as he presses you against his chest firmly, looking up at you.
“Doll...” he says, “…dont leave...not yet. I don’t know what I'll do without you..." he admits.
He’s doing it again. What he usually does when he feels you slipping away through his fingers. You’re torn apart again between your desire for him and your morale. You look away confused, nibbling on your lips because if you looked at his face right now, you realize, you would give in and stay six more years.
He grabs the back of your neck and with one hand tilts your face back to him "doll, what more do you want? You knew what this was. You knew when you followed me and now you’ve got me begging for you to stay. Stay. Please y/n”, he begs again as he wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you closer.
He's kisses you before you can say anything and you groan, your eyes remain open as you look down at his face, wondering what you should do next but he doesn’t give you much time to think and grabs the globes of your ass spreading them and burying himself in one deep, rough thrust. The sheer force of the moment makes you whimper and writhe in his arms.
You press your hand against his chest and try to nudge him back, “w-wait” you manage, but he only tightens his grip on your back and starts thrusting up into you, making you bounce on his cock. It doesn’t take long for your mind to start getting hazy, and the lust to overcome the frustration and uncertainty. You start to move and grind against his length, pressing your chest against his, eyes flitting over his face, taking him in and searching trying to find your beloved Suguru behind the mask of that mad man.
He thrusts into you relentlessly, hitting all the right spots that makes you whimper in that sweet voice he loves so much and you swear you feel him get bigger inside of you. He groans at the sound of your whimper. "Not so eager to leave now, hm?" He teases as you try desperately to make yourself finish on his cock, now moving just as desperately as him as your fingers dig into his shoulders. You wrap both your arms around his neck and hold him close as you position yourself so you can feel him better. Your legs start feeling like jelly and your stamina wears out as you keep bouncing on his cock.
“Su- Suguru please!!” you cry out as you feel your legs giving in.
"NOW it's "Suguru", huh?" He grips your ass while that dirty smirk spreads across his handsome face, like he’s just won something, as he thrusts up into you setting a punishing pace until he can feel your legs tremble and you're a babbling, whimpering mess in his arms. The lewd sound of skin slapping against skin fills the room and the air feels thicker than ever. His eyes flit over your face and land on your lips before he captures them in a kiss. His grip on you tightens and he kisses you like he might have wished he could eat you alive. He bites down on your lower lip hard enough to draw blood and sucks at it before kissing you again swallowing every whimper and groan that leaves your throat. “Gonna make you mine again, sweetheart” he rasps as he breaks the kiss while his moments turn hasty as he chases his own orgasm. He grunts roughly in your ear as he pumps ropes after ropes of his cum into you. “You did so good. Good girl.” He praises pressing his nose to the side of your neck as he comes down from the high.
A few minutes pass and the room falls quiet, save for the sounds of ragged breathing and the rain outside the window as he holds you close, with his cock still nestled warmly inside you whilst he caresses the hair on the back of your neck, lovingly as you slowly start to drown in your own thoughts once again. “Get some sleep. We’ve got a preaching scheduled tomorrow. I need you there.” he whispers.
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a/n: This is my first attempt at a longer fic. Hope you guys enjoy this. Thank you guys for all the support on the previous ones it really encourages me to keep trying to write more and more🐱
