Pandora

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onetuffbunny​:

Haha, that was a thing that sure was happening. Yikes. Metal as fuck though. Thank god for chronic sleep deprivation because at least he wouldn’t dream about this too much, he thought as he fished out his measuring tape and opened up a box of colorful fabric in all manner of eye-searing patterns. He gestured weakly at the box.

“Um, so, pick out something that looks cool and I can take some measurements and I’ll, I’ll figure something out, I guess. Might take a couple weeks on account of, like, life events and suchlike. You know. Stuff and things.”

God, what the fuck would he even be measuring? Wow. What if he got space goop on his hands? Thank the good lord (Dionysus) for the bottle of mezcal in his bedroom because Bunny was taking a shot after this.

Bunny seemed off, but Panda also knew she read a lot of situations wrong. She’d read this situation wrong the whole time, hence why she had been gooey just a little while ago. She would just have to trust Bunny and do as he said.

As he tried to explain time, though, it went in one ear and out the other. It was a loose concept still. What was a week? She might have a nap that long.

Gently, she tugged at a piece of fabric that reminded her of Sato’s clothes, purple with retro-style, bright accents that the current volph couldn’t appreciate for the same reasons. She liked it all the same, though, and hoped it was a good choice.

When Bunny would go to make his measurements, he might very well touch goo--and then find that same sort of warm wetness from the hug prior never quite clung to his skin as it vanished into air.

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serifsans​:

Vampiru fundamentally changed Jean-Paul and Earth, maybe more so. Somewhere along the way, the little pink volph learned it was safer to bear her fangs at her Friends and it was a lesson she wasn’t quick to forget. Nasty habit, snarling. A worse habit: chasing everyone away.

Vladimir almost but didn’t quite grasp what she meant but gave a small nod, already planning out just how the fuck he and Jean-Paul were going to address the debacle that just happened.

“I understand. Go and be well. Again, very sorry.”

Hesitantly, unsure if it was against the rules, she reached out and patted the back of his hand. It was so hard to communicate like this, but Panda wanted Vlad to know she still liked him. She still liked Jean-Paul, too, even if she was confused and frightened by his behavior. Sato would make it make sense.

On wobbly legs, she went to the door. She got it open, stepped out, and then proceeded to spend an uncomfortably long time trying to figure out the elevator.

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onetuffbunny​:

Bunny didn’t like to work in his actual home. Too risky. When you have a preschooler, the last thing in the world you need is to drop a needle in the living room, so it was best to take that shit out of the living room entirely. He didn’t exactly have the space to stick all his sewing supplies in the house when he barely had enough space for him and the kids, so the two old campers he (one for his sewing work, one for his other work) bought and fixed it made a nice enough compromise.

Haha, what the fuck was his life? Slime dog. Space slime. Why did things happen? Who the fuck knows! He was just going to take some measurements or whatever, pick out a fabric, get this over with, and regret his life choices later before probably posting on Fumblr again immediately after.

Bunny ducked to enter the camper and turned on the lights. Inside, it was a pink and purple riot of color and things: beaded curtains, a UFO shaped lava lamp, inflatable furniture, bolts of fabric stacked everywhere, colorful boxes full of orders, all manner of dolls and anime figures on the wall shelves, and the leopard-print work station where he had his sewing and embroidery machines.

“Uh, so, I guess we’ll take some measurements,” he said. “So, like, are you going to be wearing this in two legged form or four legged form?”

It took a moment for Panda to reply, both because she was so distracted by the decor and because she took a while to actually process meaning. She was next to the lava lamp when it fully sunk in, and her head turning to look at him leaked eerily similar goo that globbed and disappeared.

Slowly, in a sort of awkward horror, she became a young woman with head floating from a comically detached stump. With effort, she pushed it together, letting her form become more human. When she released it, her form stayed, but her head floated again. She pointed to it.

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serifsans​:

Even still, he offered it with an outstretched arm until it became very clear that she wasn’t taking it, after which he flung it across his shoulder. What the fuck had Jean-Paul said to her? It was one thing when Jean-Paul threw drinks at volphs who pressed too far in crowded nightclubs but it was another thing entirely when there was an upset vaporvolph in his kitchen he invited in who hadn’t done anything wrong.

God, he was going to drag them into therapy so hard once he became a vampire.

“Jean-Paul is…”

How to say this without really saying what was going on? A volph could make reasonable assumptions about what their relationship might be but Vlad still faltered at outright saying Jean-Paul was his wife

“…Someone who I care for but they make no rules over me,” he says. “I’m sorry, they’re frightened of unexpected volphs, I put you in a poor situation and I apologize again.”

Vladimir was distantly aware that Jean-Paul was walking up the stares and definitely aware of the fact that they would most likely immediately phase through the ceiling to peek and see if Pandora left. They were a creature of habit.

It really made no sense. Why was Jean-Paul frightened of her? They were Friends. They’d been Friends for all of time! It made absolutely no sense and Vlad had to be wrong. But Panda wouldn’t know until she got to Sato and he explained, that much was clear. He’d explain it to her, and maybe she’d understand properly. JP just had no patience for her while she was broken and bad at this new world and these new games.

She pointed to herself, then at the door. If Vlad wanted her to go, she would go. She didn’t want to cause more problems.

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serifsans​:

At the approach of their boyfriend, Jean-Paul stood, brushed a strand of hair from their eyes, tried to pretend that they hadn’t been an anxious small dog only seconds before.

“I’m behaving,” they said. “Look, I’m going upstairs. I’m departing. I’m polite, Vladimir.”

And the vaporvolph did just that, but not before giving a look over their shoulder.

“Goodbye,” he said. “I suppose I might see you again.”

Vladimir, meanwhile, lacked context for what was going on and was just happy that at least Jean-Paul wasn’t escalating the situation any further. As much as he loved them -and he did love them, for better or for worse- the fact that he was all fang and bark whenever it came to other volphs frustrated the hell out him.

No? Yeah, of course she wasn’t okay. He offered the blanket out towards her, ignorant of what she really meant.

“I am so sorry. There are not enough apologies. I didn’t think that they’d be back so soon, Jean-Paul…they deal poorly with surprises. May I get you anything? Again, very sorry, I understand if you wish to leave, I meant none of this to happen.”

Panda missed her ears that might fall back so he would know she was unhappy, missed her teeth. Now she was grimacing and simply scooting away from the blanket, trying to remember the right words to explain what she knew now. This felt like a trap to get her to break the rules.

No. She tried again. It gave her time to think.

Jaen-Pal no. Frustration creased her face. She added: say no.

No play.

Maybe he would understand. Maybe he could better explain the rules. He had been kind to her, this Vlad, but maybe he was just Jean-Paul’s toy and didn’t understand that they wouldn’t let him play with both of the volphs. She didn’t think humans were supposed to be toys (Sato had never seemed to make this distinction) but why else would JP tell her such things?

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onetuffbunny​:

Unfortunately for Bunny and fortunately for Panda, you had to overstep a lot before he would start protesting, something that was neither good nor healthy. Once upon a time, he’d been an aggressive, stubborn little shit, but life events wore down most of the fight in him and left only fear and excuses. He wasn’t really sure what those life events were but maybe it didn’t matter.

“Cool,” he said with the weakest finger guns possible. “Cool, cool, cool, I’m just going to…I have a workshop? For sewing things. Um. I’m going to like. Go there. I guess. It’s cool. It’s totally cool.”

Bunny was totally fine and he wasn’t, like, still rattled by several confusing turns of events he lacked context for or, like, bothered by a distressing reminder of all the ghosts of his past (there were many despite all his best efforts to ward them off) or kind of upset his son’s favorite toy had been mauled because that was just negative vibes and he did not invite bad feels and bad times into his life. That’s what coping looked like! This man: the picture of emotional health.

On wobbly legs, Bunny (fine) wandered in the vague direction of the two old campers on his property he worked out of. He was totally okay.

Panda understood what lies were but wasn’t great at spotting them, so when Bunny says he’s cool, she assumed he means it (cool was one of those slang words she’d retained both meanings of, fortunately or unfortunately for the situation). Odd, what words would come back quicker than others once she was feeling better. Perhaps it was because ‘cool’ was one of those words that she’d liked, a way to express one’s enjoyment of something, or its intrinsic goodness. But in a fun way.

She loped after Bunny, quite forgetting she was a volph. But she was smaller now, more like a large, imposing, liquid blue and drippy orange dog, but not so large as to be fantastical or menacing. Probably.

She didn’t know what was in the odd, large, detached rooms ahead of them, but she hoped it was nice.

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serifsans​:

Damn it, why couldn’t she just do that faster? Jean-Paul shook in frustration, paws tippy-tapping, until it was just too much and the little pink volph collapsed on the ground with a whine, which was maybe a bit dramatic but so was naming yourself Jean-Paul Vivienne Poinsette, so clearly drama wasn’t something missing from their life. Just get on with it! Was this really the time for accessorizing?!

(There was a volph in Vlad’s house and they didn’t want a volph to be here, they didn’t know another volph would be here, they knew they were being irrational and that Vlad could invite whoever he damn well wanted to his own home but damn it, they didn’t like this.)

When she was finally in human form, she received a single wag of recognition, tail thumping against the tile floor. Still, he was tense, ears pricked, hackles raised.

Don’t play games with him. He isn’t a toy. He doesn’t need volphs in his head.

It was at this moment that Vlad returned, blanket in tow, and Jean-Paul instantly transformed back as if ashamed of him seeing their natural form.

“Are you alright?” the human asked gently.

This was right. Panda had gotten the shape right, and that was better. She felt some kind of pressure release in her chest, one she hadn’t even been fully aware of when Jean Paul had first gotten upset with her.

Vlad being off limits for games didn’t make sense, either. Jean-Paul clearly played with him all the time. And in his head? How? What?

It was made all the worse when Vlad came back, had a blanket, tried to talk to her. Was she not supposed to answer? Panda looked to JP for help, but he was human-shaped now, too, and that meant it would be harder.

Franticly, she held up her hands to sign--what? What were the shapes? She signed no, not as answer to Vlad’s question, but as a way to explain: no, she couldn’t play with him anymore.

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onetuffbunny​:

Was it okay to pat a space dog from space? Bunny didn’t know the rules. It seemed like something that may come across condescending but he figured that if he was a space dog from the Dog Planet (god, he wanted to go there so bad, why couldn’t he have gotten bit by one of those portal fuckers or the astral plane dudes?), he’d want everyone to pet, pat, scritch, and scratch him because, like, wouldn’t that be awesome if people paid attention to you and liked you and also you were super cute and an alien that lived forever doing fun and happy things?

Regardless, Bunny patted her, taking care to mind the claws because while he wasn’t sure if people slime could get hurt, he didn’t want to take any chances. Look, he used to hit people with barbed-wire baseball bats for fun and profit but that didn’t mean he wanted anyone to get hurt or anything.

But then she wasn’t slime, which was probably a good thing because Bunny didn’t know what would happen if she reached peak viscosity. Ooze into the earth, maybe.

(Why did she chase after Neht? Was it an alien secret he didn’t know yet?)

“Haha, thanks,” he said. Was space spit good for you? Was it supposed to be orange? Was it, like, radioactive? He didn’t want to become a fucked up radiation zombie but if you could get people irradiated just by licking them, the space cops probably would’ve done something about that already.

“Uh. So. Do you, do you still want a neck thing? For your head? I’m not really sure if it’ll do the job but, like, I can try.”

Panda leaned back a bit to regard bunny, her head tilt going a bit too far to not look uncomfortable. A neck thing. She tried to think.

She had come here because Bunny was going to help her with how her head kept separating from her, instead of going to a doctor. This involved a brace (she didn’t know what that was). Ribbon worked just fine, if one completely ignored how it popped off at inconvenient times, which she did.

Still, she nodded. If he still wanted to. Vaguely, she realized she might have made too many messes to tolerate, and she may have to come back later. Maybe? Right?

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serifsans​:

“Jean-Paul,” Vlad said as he swept at top speed, not harshly but steady enough to know he wasn’t exactly happy right now. “I think maybe it would be best if you went upstairs.”

It was in this moment that Jean-Paul knew they had, just perhaps, fucked up.

Okay. Their tail was metaphorically between their legs and also literally because they, distressed because everything was going the opposite of how they wanted it to go, reverted back to being a shaky small dog in their confusion, outline rapidly blurring and stuttering and wobbling as they glitched in distress. There was still a volph here and now that volph was upset and Vlad was upset (this was the most important thing here) and the plates were destroyed and that wasn’t how you got your head back on and why was her head not on in the first place, that didn’t seem fun and interesting at all, and why did things outside of their control even happen, why did other volphs refuse to behave in ways they couldn’t predict and anticipate, why was he the bad guy here for not wanting regulators to get called in on account of floating heads, they had so much to lose, why did things keep happening?

They howled a little. Vlad left the room silently, probably because they embarrassed him and upset a guest in his house and he’d never forgive it and everything was bad all the time.

(Vlad left to get a blanket for the poor, upset volph because the dad instincts kicked in, even if this was someone far older than he’d ever be. They would talk about this incident later.)

Thing is, something still remained in them of cute little Vivi the nanny dog, even if they also wanted to nip and snarl and chase her out of the penthouse as fast as their legs could carry them.

I don’t understand. Please stop being sad. You just have to look like a human if you’re around humans. If you don’t, regulators come and they hurt the humans’ minds. Please don’t be sad.

Panda understood Jean-Paul much better when she was small and pink and vibrating. She may not comperehend in quite the same way, but she got the idea of humans and the danger of regulators, of pain and hurt and sadness. She wanted to fix it and play the game right (she wanted to go Home and play better games).

Slowly, trying to be human but still not getting it all the way right, she uncurled and searched the floor for the ribbon she needed to put around her neck. It was under the cabinet, with a few forgotten shards of plate. She tied it on and, despite it being not really sturdy or structurally sound enough to do the trick, the tear sealed. The world felt more real again, and Panda felt more in control of herself. She fixed her legs so they were human, and the tail and wolf ears faded away.

A stoically morose human woman looked at Jean-Paul for some kind of approval, any crumb of reassurance.

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onetuffbunny​:

The witch paused in the air for a moment, the air around her shifting in a way that air shouldn’t, and upon seeing nothing terrible happening in those few seconds, she took off into the woods to her cats and her books and her work.

Meanwhile, Bunny was still confused. This was not an infrequent occurrence and, in fact, he spent most of his life in varying degrees of befuddlement, but he was at a stage where he was just confused and mildly distressed by it, not the advanced state of confusion where he accepted it as his lot in life and made peace with it.

It was probably a really bad idea, like super bad, to glomp onto someone who like literally just tried to bite your neighbor for unknown reasons but Bunny was not known for his good decision making in any capacity beyond parenting. He was confused and scared. She was confused and scared. His natural instincts when faced with confusion and fright in himself were to crawl up into a little ball and cry (he was not always like this) but his natural instincts when other people were confused and scared was to comfort them.

He did not know what was proper etiquette when confronted with a space dog made of goo but he patted her on the head.

“H-hey, it’s okay. If you want to be slime, that’s okay,” he said. “People can be slime if they want to be.”

It would take a little time for Panda to reconstitute herself into a more solid form, or as solid as vaporvolphs went. But eventually she slorped up her mess and was simply an odd kind of warm, furry, and only vaguely solid like she was meant to be. Her head still floating, of course.

Gently, she licked Bunny’s cheek, leaving a glowing orange stripe that faded slowly. Sometimes, you just needed to be slime for a bit to feel better about everything. And with her friend okay, there wasn’t much more to be upset about.

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onetuffbunny​:

Bunny’s hand mobility wasn’t fantastic -it’s not that there was any issue with his fingers, per se, it’s just that he didn’t know how to hell to maneuver around these talons- but he managed to rip off the wrapper with one of his claws and dropped the candy into the awaiting mouth of the goopy vaporvolph.

Was this a normal alien thing? Bunny had no clue what was and wasn’t normal and that’s even before you get into the extraterrestrial stuff. If someone wanted to be goop, well, good for them, he guessed, but he wasn’t sure if she was becoming goop on purpose or if, like, this was a terrible malady caused by being too sad and she’d melt away into nothing and die. Bunny didn’t know enough about aliens to tell you if that was or wasn’t something likely to happen.

“O-okay,” Bunny said. “Hey, are you, like, okay? You’re mushed. Do you need, like, a bucket?”

Neht, meanwhile, didn’t think sticking around a clearly upset vaporvolph -a little dramatic, melting in a puddle like that, but if anyone deserved to be a little dramatic, it was volphs in her estimation- did anyone here any favors at all, so, situation more or less figured out on her end, it was time to get out of here, hopefully without any further mishaps or biting.

(Unfortunate, letting someone see her wings without absolute necessity. Perhaps she’d contact her handler and see if she knew anything about this volph.)

“Well then, if a regulator asks if you’ve seen this, you didn’t,” the witch said.

Neht didn’t figure there was any graceful way of doing this, so she let herself fall backwards off the branch, physically improbably wings keeping her aloft enough that she wouldn’t hit the ground.

The hard candy hit the inside of her gooey mouth with a wet and quiet plop, then sank into it. For what it was worth, it did seem to help. Panda even got to her feet, though she still had the visual consistency of that chocolate guy from the candyland game (the one she had been disappointed did not include real candy).

She let Neht go, uncertain once more if she’d made a mistake, if that was really a vampire. It didn’t look like any kind of vampire she knew; it was almost volphish in its disregard for conventional anatomy and physics. Perhaps that was something that could happen to a volph after too long with vampires.

Oh, she hated that idea.

Miserably, she glorped up to Bunny and tried to lean on him like they had hugged before, only without arms. She was sorry. She always had to be sorry.

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serifsans​:

Oh, the self-loathing was there and it was strong, stronger than the blackest coffee.

To his credit, Jean-Paul did not cringe away from her lick like he might have otherwise done -silly, animalistic, not elegant at all- but there was no comforting lick back, only a frustrated whine. Why was everything terrible always happening to them specifically?

And damn it, that still wasn’t right! Legs didn’t work like that! People would see! People would know! The volph transformed quickly into their customary human (well, they liked to think they were more human than humans, anyway), frustrated and anxious at situations that weren’t going their way and because they just realized that all of their clothes were crumpled up in a pile outside and yeah, they transformed wearing fake clothes that looked just as good as the real thing but damn it, it wasn’t the same, this made them feel naked and weird, everything was going wrong and it all her fault.

“Paul,” Vlad said, not angry but with enough warning that Jean-Paul immediately let the nasty comment they were about to say die in their throat. “Oh no, no, your poor feet. I will clean this up, be careful.”

This time he managed to successfully get the broom and dust pan to start sweeping. Sure, broken glass wouldn’t injure a volph in any way that lasted but it wasn’t pleasant and besides that, he was the only one here actually mortal.

“What are you doing, no, heads aren’t supposed to be float. Vlad! Tell her to make her head stop floating! I did not get on the straight and narrow just to have a regulator called in because someone decided to have a balloon for a head.”

Vlad did not do this.

Panda was not careful about the broken shards of plate, because she had sequestered herself into a corner of the kitchen. Her hands were on her head, over her ears, so she didn’t have to hear her friend upset and so she could shove it back on her neck.

It wasn’t her fault she didn’t understand. It wasn’t her fault she couldn’t speak right in any language, now. She didn’t know how to tell Jean-Paul that she didn’t understand, either. She was upset, and languages were leaving her as fast as startled sparrows. She just wanted Sato, now. Sato would make it better, he’d explain.

Panda went as small as she could in her weird, wrong body, hiding her face in her knees. She hated this world and all the stupid rules. It wasn’t a good game. Her Friends played in ways she couldn’t decipher, and she was always in trouble.

She wanted to go Home.

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serifsans​:

While this was going on, Vlad decided he might as well get the broom out from the next cabinet because clearly this glass wasn’t going to clean itself and it felt like the only thing he could do while in the middle of a spat between volphs. However, in the middle of opening the cabinet, he turned at a sudden loud noise.

Said loud noise was Jean-Paul suddenly hitting the door face-on as the haunches he was pushing suddenly vanished. Fuck. They yelped and immediately checked to see if they broke their glasses. Intact. Good. JP didn’t actually need them to see but they liked this pair.

Meanwhile, Vladimir stared at the whole situation unfolding before him in aghast horror. Objectively, he knew vaporvolphs couldn’t die but in the heat of the moment, he could only silently stare at the poor, crumpled volph and the mess of golden space ooze. Broom thoroughly forgotten, he reached for the nearest dishtowel instead. Cleaning up volph ooze would not fix this problem. He could not actually clean up volph ooze. He was absolutely useless in this situation.

“Oh no, your hindquarters,” he said softly. “Do you need a painkiller?”

At this moment, a little pink vaporvolph floating through the wall looking thoroughly dejected, whining softly because everything in their life sucked and Vlad thought they were a stupid little creature and they hated taking this form but the volph didn’t seem to understand and maybe they’d get through easier this way or maybe she’d bite his silly little body clean in half. It wouldn’t be hard. They pushed against Panda with their muzzle like that was going to accomplish anything.

Stop being a volph. Start being not a volph. They’ll see you.

If Panda had a more philosophically inclined mind, she might have questioned JP’s word choice there, might have pointed out that they were both always volphs, and that him thinking taking a human shape made him not one had some troubling connotations.

Then JP might have bit her for being pedantic at a time like this, but if Panda had the frame of mind to be analytic about it they probably wouldn’t have gotten here, so.

As it was, she knew what Jean-Paul meant, and hated it. Being confused in a human shape was so much worse than being confused in her preferred shape. She licked his muzzle and then slunk away to try and stumble into something remotely like what they wanted.

In the end, she got most of the way, though ears and tail (it was always ears and tail) remained volphish, and her legs were decidedly digitigrade. It was a bit freakish, but most people would be distracted by that because yet again her head was not connected. She continued to scoot away from JP and right into the glass without flinching.

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onetuffbunny​:

Oh no, she was starting to melt.

Bunny wiped his tears away with the back of his hand and crawled forward on his hands and paws closer to Panda, sniffling all the while.

“No,” he said very softly. He did not know if this was normal vaporvolph behavior. Bunny possibly did not remember that she was a vaporvolph, just that she wasn’t a ghost. He reached into his pocket for something to help but found absolutely nothing but a single Folly Rancher, which he offered to her anyway even though it absolutely wouldn’t fix the situation, like, at all. He just wanted to be useful.

“Come now, there’s no need for that, dear. Are you one of Bunny’s friends, hm?” Neht said gently, contemplating how the fuck she was going to get herself out of this tree gracefully. “Well now, if neither of you are in any danger, I hardly think my presence will improve the situation, so if it’s quite alright, I think I’d rather go home and catch up on my Murder She Wrote marathon.”

Neht attempted to crawl out a little further onto the branch so she had more clearance to launch herself off of this thing. It creaked and swayed suspiciously. Neht immediately crawled back.

Candy was always useful to a volph. It could fix a lot of things, and being offered a treat was a little reassuring to the gooey, wolf-shaped blob that was Panda currently. Her mouth popped open with a schluck sound usually reserved for shoes stuck in mud and she awaited the proffered treat to be tossed in.

If her eyes moved to watch Neht try the structural integrity of the branch, it would be difficult to tell. They currently had the consistency of uncooked egg.

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onetuffbunny​:

Huh.

Had she properly assessed the situation from the start? Bunny had texted her for help but he hadn’t actually specified what specifically it was he needed help with. Had she even been attacking him? She saw toy carnage on the ground and a stranger with arms around an upset fledgling and assumed the worst.

“I just wanted to make a cool neck brace,” Bunny said as the tears came. “Why are things happening?”

The volph stretched up and Neht reflexively scooted back on the branch, wings fanning out in warning, eyes blazing. It was always awkward, sprouting them out like this. There was no place for them to go and of course they didn’t pop out in a handy, convenient location, so they got in the way of her using her arms and blocked her face. She pushed one to the side.

“Excuse me, I don’t think I’d like to be bitten today. Please stop,” Neht said. “Are you alright?”

Panda squinted at what was decided not a vampire anymore, then slowly, confusingly, sat on her haunches. Was this a trick? A brand new vampire trick? Or was this...well, something else, playing an odd game. Something like a volph?

Oh, she didn’t like all this confusion. If she’d chased a non-vampire, tried to bite a non-vampire, someone would be upset with her. Dimly, she realized that Susette would be upset with her for chasing a vampire at all. Sato might not be, though. Unless it got her in trouble. He’d wanted her to lie low.

Oh no. She’d done the all the worst things today. Miserably, her sit slowly sunk into a gooey, sad pile of volph-shape.

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serifsans​:

“She was hungry,” Vlad said. “What would you have me do, let someone starve?”

Volphs couldn’t starve because they didn’t need to consume to survive like almost every form of life but Jean-Paul was hardly going to argue that point right now. They approached and then froze at the flash of teeth, startled even though they literally bared their fangs and bit a few seconds before. Their shaking intensified.

“What do you think you’re doing?! You can’t go out like that!” they practically hissed. “The neighbors will see you. Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

They might end up getting bit for this but Jean-Paul dashed forward and flung themself through the wall. If he had to push a volph back through the door so she wouldn’t bring the regulators down on everyone, well, he was just going to put his entire back into it and push.

Panda didn’t snap at JP, trying desperately to keep her fear response in check because he was a friend, and clearly she had messed something up. So when suddenly she felt herself being pushed back into the room, well, she sort of lost control of her phasing and simply sheered off her back end.

Thus Vlad was witness to half a volph sliding down the front of his door in a oozey golden mess while JP dealt with the haunches in their hands vaporizing before their eyes. Panda would have whimpered if she could, but instead she simply reformed a little too slowly, bunched and crunched into a shrimp-like curve.

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serifsans​:

Jean-Paul let go of her ear, suddenly very aware that Vladimir was looking at him acting like a stupid little beast. Oh. He stepped back, tail metaphorically between his legs and also literally. When the fuck did his tail pop out?

‘No, Vova, they were special plates that I picked out just for you because I love you and I can’t lick your face to let you know that but I can decorate your house,’ is what they wanted to say but his lips would not permit him to say the words. He whined instead, still shivering but this time embarrassment was mixed into the anger and fear.

“I am so very sorry,” Vladimir said, wincing in sympathy pain because yeah, sure, volphs lived forever, he knew that, but damn, that had to hurt. “Paulie, we’ll talk about this later.”

Paulie did not, in fact, want to apologize. What he wanted to do was chase her off and bite at her legs if she were too slow but that was something pets and animals did. Instead, he picked himself up off the ground, ears pulled back in anxiety because oh great, they betrayed them too. They were letting Vlad down. They were treating him like a precious thing to be guarded. The other volphs would hear about this and not let them play ever again, probably.

“You have to go through the door,” Jean-Paul, emotionally defeated, said with utter resignation. They started trudging over, which was maybe a mistake. “What are you even doing here? Vlad, why is there a volph here?”

Panda did not like that Jean-Paul was approaching. The words were all coming too fast now, and the fluency she’d gained with English fluttered about her mind in confusion and fear. She showed JP her teeth as she got back to her feet. She didn’t know what rule she had broken but she did not want to get bit again.

Her back bunched up against the door and, after a moment, began to phase through. A giant blue wolf ass into the hallway was probably not the best thing for any kind of secrecy, but Panda needed to leave. Her egress was slow, like fighting through molasses, but she was clearly trying.