no animals were harmed

Hello, fellow kids

[jnacho]

[terrapincentury-deactivated2018]

mother fucker unlimited

[beep-beepster]

this is some ed edd eddy shit

[karhs]

the eyepatch. the washing machine. the shovel. this is incredible.

[beholdingslut]

NOTHING in classical literature gets me like odysseus introducing himself to the people who are putting him up as “I am Odysseus, known for my many clever tricks and lies” like i would want that man out of my house immediately

[najd-social-club]

sorry i didn't respond im losing my fucking mind

[mormonmonastery]

I support the goals of Moses and #LetMyPeopleGo but I’m disappointed to see what used to be peaceful protests take such a violent turn :( Politely asking Pharaoh to free the Israelites from slavery is more effective than unleashing plague after plague on Egypt. And now I hear that a lot of Israelites are out destroying their own communities by tagging their houses with some kind of gang sign? that’s painted with animal blood? What does that even accomplish? I agree that a whole people being in bondage and having their babies killed is kind of messed up, but it’s still never okay to destroy people’s property with hail and locusts. They need to show more respect to the people who’ve been systemically slaughtering them. Violence never solved anything :( Two wrongs never make a right :( :(

[supergameboytwo]

This is what good pussy sounds like *velcro noises*

[werewolbachia]

how tf am I supposed to be sexy during a pandemic

[werewolbachia]

[kontextmaschine]

Absolutely fucking surreal start-of-the-movie vibe, calmly eating dinner in a restaurant while the TV describes the collapse of the global economy and I keep overhearing snatches from the surrounding tables about the coming plague

[argumate]

nah it only counts if you’re having a messy breakup with the woman you will tenderly reconcile with ninety minutes later

[prettyponyprincess-prancespiety]

The other day I was delivering a pizza and there was on this guy’s lawn a newspaper perfectly oriented on one of the steps to his front door so you could just make out the words in bold print “PLAGUE FEARS DEEPEN” and I’m like yep that’s a movie trailer shot.

[argumate]

I hope as you came in you were listening to a song that is currently popular but not too expensive to license for the soundtrack

[zackisontumblr]

no more stress thanks, i’m full

[occasionallydiverting]

feeling cute today. might commit acts of hubris

[occasionallydiverting]

[sidneypagget]

“what the fuck” is an emotion now and its the only one i have

[pollyjean]

turning feminism from a radical social movement with the capacity to create real change into a fun quirky fandom that you can buy merch for at urban outfitters is one of the worst crimes of late stage capitalism/21st century western individualism. the current state of feminism is damning evidence that there’s no way to kill an activist movement more effectively than commodifying it.

[corvidaedream]

i love the idea of ghosts not being dead people but just places where time is kind of thin

like one of my friends & his girlfriend have a ghost in their very old new england house that's apparently an old timey little boy who does shit like jump on the bed and slam doors but if they tell him very sternly "daniel, stop that" the activity stops immediately

and i love the idea that years ago theres this rowdy little 19th century boy just being alive and playing in his room but if he gets too loud sometimes, the ghostly form of my 21st century friend shows up and is like "Hey! Cut it out." and then vanishes and no one believes this child

[onlytwitterpics]

[hiraethade]

[intricatelogic]

Fixed it!

[amateur]

[austinbaker94]

Oh

[gotterhag]

This is amazing

[captain-snark]

This is simultaneously the best and worst thing I have ever seen. 

[o-kurwa]

Coke + lighter gas

[h8edsalty]

[lizclimo]