She loves it when I blowdry my hair. Loves.
Peter Solarz
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JVL
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tannertan36
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d e v o n

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@cantbelieveisignedupforthis
She loves it when I blowdry my hair. Loves.
Today I sent a voice note asking my bestie if she had time to chat quick and then put the phone to my ear. And no, I'm not high. Jesus
Can I have a tattoo of Margaret Thatcher please? Was that the artist's brief?
My 11 year old son told me he's old enough to shower. I can't wait till he's old enough to drive. It's gonna be epic.
We couldn't evacuate ourselves out of a paper fucking bag!
6 seconds of my dad's floor. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
Apparently hanging out in your gym clothes, playing with your phone, never gets old 🙄
Does everyone get dressed for a flight, making sure they look decent, just in case the plane goes down? Or is it just me?
Ok. It's going to be one of those days 😬
My son told me how funny it is to think that when he was little, he thought that the length of time dictated how many babies you had. Like, 2 minutes = 1 baby. When he was little. He's 11.
Today I learnt that when you get really angry at the absolute cunt that is the father of your children, you can actually create a neck spasm. That's not what I learnt though. What I learnt is that it's damn near impossible to tilt your head back and laugh once you've attained this level of anger. The neck just doesn't bend anymore.
I've lost my S pen. I feel so lost. I wish I was joking.
My mother posted this on our family group today. She clearly has no clue that 2 out of her 3 kids spend a fair amount of time with straws in their noses.
Had my earrings in my hand with a handful of meds. This day, very nearly, went sideways
I came to post and have been Tumbling on Tumblr to avoid step work. For 43 minutes. Fucking addict 😑
So, apparently, saying 'can I go now?' to your boyfriend 6 minutes into a call, doesn't go down well. At all.
So I know my parents sent this to me to show how badly behaved my beagle is, but...but...can we just have a discussion on how we use dustbins as TV decorations and emptied by my dad brandy bottles, as a candle sticks? I don't need to point out obvious things like we're slobs and we're not wearing teeth today.