I’m tired of people fake pretending, fake caring,and fake trying to help. I respect selfish honesty much more than your need to feel like you’re a good person. I’m a generally private person and even my best of friends tend not to know all of what’s really going on in my life. I’ve tried to be more open this year and let people know I’m not okay. However, sometimes I wish I didn’t because I don’t want to think these people I call my friends could turn out to be not so great friends. I have had friends recently offer support in one way or another, but when I come to collect they flake out. My biggest problem is don’t offer if you have no intention to follow-through. I understand you may want to feel like you’re helping or feel like you are being a good friend by offering these things. However, when you dangle something in front of my face and take it away, it only hurts my feelings more than if you never mentioned anything in the first place. If I know my friend is having a hard time and I promised to do something with them, there isn’t much that would keep me from following-through. Even if I didn’t feel the best that day, it’s not about me. Besides, people going through tough times are pretty good in the disappointment department. If I knew I wasn’t feeling great I wouldn’t offer, in the first place. The worst is when you try to manipulate me into believing that something else is going on, when the fact is you just don’t want to follow-through or you didn’t think I would accept your offer in the first place. I don’t call people out all the time but that doesn’t make me stupid. In fact, it just makes me angry that you think you can take advantage of our friendship.
Cali is full on them. I have never been so annoyed with job hunting, in my life. Los Angeles culture is so passive. They do not communicate. In all of my previous jobs, communication has been key. I would be looked down upon if I had not responded to an email within 24 hours. Not responding at all = UNACCEPTABLE. Yet time and time again, I reach out to people I’ve interviewed with, only to be ghosted and left to assume they went with another candidate. Maybe they are all scared of the perceived angry Black woman they will have to with after. A negative response is better than no response in my book. Despite being told I am one of two final candidates, I can not get a response to any communication. I was also let go from a temporary assignment recently. The boss just happened to not show up that day. Like really...My only conclusion is Los Angeles is full of punk ass bitches that are too scared of any type of confrontation. Instead they hide and cower away and hope you eventually just go away due to them ignoring you.
It is way past time that we retire the word “hater” from our vocabulary. I am still not 100% sure but I think I am considered a millennial. A quick google search would clarify but maybe I am afraid of confirmation. Well, if I am considered a millennial it is by birth only. Similar to how I’m considered American. Anyways, I’m convinced that “hater” is the favorite word of most millennials.
When did hating become synonymous with having an opinion, being realistic, and true to yourself? People feel like if you don’t love something then you hate it. Love and Hate are opposites yes, but there is a spectrum of emotion in between. I feel like millennials are way too sensitive these days. If you’re not up their ass or spout truth outside of rainbows, sprinkles, and unicorns then you might as well be Satan himself.
This rant is inspired by the clip below:
A post shared by The Shade Room (@theshaderoom) on May 4, 2017 at 2:14pm PDT
I first saw this posted on The Shade Room’s Instagram. Hardly my source for real news or thoughtful commentary but they have a huge following and it is interesting to read through the comments. So many of the comments were calling Joe Budden a bully and many felt like Lil Yachty was attacked. Comments further went on to say that Lil Yachty is only 19 and is too young to have the mindset to think about the issues Joe presented. PAUSE!
Since when is 19 a kid? 19 is a young adult. I agree he is going to be more young-minded than a 40 yr old man but it’s not like Joe asked him about these concepts would only be able to comprehend much later in life. I was expected to find a job and work as soon as I was legal to do so (16 y/o). Is it not basic standards to be able to answer interview questions like “Why do you want to work here?” “What do you expect to get out of this?” “What can you contribute to this company?” Joe asking “What do you want from hip hop?” seemed like such a basic question and I can’t believe people were calling him harsh for asking. I did watch some other clips of the interview and I can see some instances when Joe did seem to be a little harsh but at the same time he is passionate and calling things like he see’s it. People have become so sensitive to opinions and people being vocal about their opposing opinions. While Joe could have certainly had a better approach for trying to get a message across to Yachty, I felt it was only completely lost to those who are used to having people hold their hand through life and praise them.
Another major problem I have with this interview is that Yachty seems to be like so many millennials and only care about themselves and making money. We have been so brainwashed to measure success and happiness in material things that many have no idea what real happiness looks like. So many comments in the shade room were saying Joe is just a hater because Yachty is making millions and that people need to just let Yacty live because he’s young and living his life. While I can appreciate the young, wild, and free spirit it is something that will not last forever. So while you may not have your entire life planned out, it shouldn’t be so shocking when someone asks you about your future. I would hope people would think ahead. Do you need to live in the future? No! However, biking without any directions isn’t necessarily the most efficient way to take a trip. I feel like we are continuously being dumbed down and reduced to currency. No one cares about the work, the message, your personal responsibility, or anything of substance. If you have money you can do as you please and earn all the right to talk shit or do as you please because your bank numbers are higher than the majority of people. Yikes! It’s a really scary direction we are going in when you really think about it. I’m ready for Jesus to come back and burn it all. I fear that this world is too far lost but hope the fading voices or truth, love and reason can continue to rise up again and spread their messages to those that are blindly following.
One thing I wish I understood more as a kid was the saying “It’s not what you know. It’s who you know.” It does not matter that I followed the path of “success” laid out by society - meaning being a straight A student the majority of my K-12 career, working since 16 y/o, graduating from an accredited university, and staying out of trouble with the law. What I know does not matter in this economy (or did it ever for Blacks?). These white people will not give me the opportunity I deserve in the job market. Now I am left thinking, I wish I knew more people. Then, would the color of my skin be less of a hindrance, when looking for employment?.
I have had 3 interviews last month. Finally, after well over 100 applications this year I felt I was finally getting somewhere. Let me outline a little bit how each one went.
#1. After a phone interview, I was asked to come in the following day for an in-person interview with 4 employees. After about 2 hours of interviewing, I went home, sent my 4 thoughtful unique thank you letters out and thanked HR for coordinating everything. I received one response from HR, asking me to complete a 2 part assignment. The assignment itself was not too difficult but extremely lengthy. Nonetheless, I completed the assignment and sent it to the company 4 days before the due date. The hours I spent on the assignment were pretty much a full days worth of work.
#2. Similar to company 1, I had a phone interview and was quickly asked to come for an in-person interview. This was the company I was most excited to interview for and really saw long-term potential in. The organization is a non-profit that helps homeless people transition back into self-sufficiency. They claim to love to hire employees as diverse at the community they serve. Upon arriving, the doors were closed and I couldn’t get into the building. I noticed there was a line of people waiting to get in to receive services. One of the employees walked over and quickly opened the door saying “We will be open in 5 minutes” and then closed the door back. There was some special event going on where they had closed for a portion of the day. Well the time was coming close to my interview time so I emailed my interviewer to let her know I was outside and could not get in and I am not late! A few more minutes pass. Then, a different employee opens the door and says they are letting people in 3 at a time. I try to grab her attention and say “Excuse me, I’m actually here for an interview with **** at 1pm. only to me dismissed with an “Uh huh uh huh we’re letting people in 3 at a time.” I go to the back of the line and wait for my turn. I am almost at the door when I see another employee come out and she says my name. Quickly, I raise my hand to get her attention but she just looks past me and keeps looking around and says my name again. I step closer and say “I’m *******” She briefly apologizes and says they usually aren’t closed at that time blah blah. We walk through the office space and I think to myself it’s quite white in here. We enter the conference room where there is another employee interviewing me with her (which she also failed to mention). They ask pretty general questions and I hold most of the interview myself, as they really didn’t seem to care to ask anything that would showcase my skills or qualifications. I left feeling like it was either too easy or they had already decided they weren’t so interested. Despite the ambiguous feeling I was very much into the company and what it stood for and new I was more than qualified for the position. When I got back home I decided to send a nice handwritten note (which I only do for the companies I really like), using some beautiful stationary from my collection.
#3. The most recent interview was a phone interview with another non-profit. I was immediately asked to complete an assignment before moving on to the next round of interviews. More and more companies these days seem to be sending assignments out. I understand it may be a fast, efficient, easy way to weed out candidates. However, some of these assignments are really just free work. Anyways, I complete the assignment. This assignment ended up being about 2 days worth of work, as it was much more detailed and I realized I had been approaching it wrong, in the beginning. So, I spent a little extra time going back over things. Once again, I send it back ahead of the due date.
Enter Rant...
None of these bitch ass companies have had the decency to communicate with me since. I notice a trend these days where companies no longer need to engage in basic etiquette when it comes to the hiring process. However, given that these companies asked a little more with homework in coming in at the drop of a dime, I did expect a little more. I did call company #2 as I had totally drank the kool-aid and really believed in the company mission and knew that I had all the skills and requirements listed on the job description. My voicemail was responded to in email form. The email was your typical sandwich feedback: You’re so amazing| BUT....| You’re so amazing. Sometimes, I would much rather just hear “You’re too brown.” -- it’s much more real. I mean, if I was so amazing you would have hired me, no?
One thing all of these companies had in common is that all of the people I interviewed with are White. Okay there was one person at company 1 who was Asian. Another commonality - Each person I talked to over the phone was overwhelmingly receptive.
All my life...I had to fight... True story. No, but really what I want to say is: All my life I have gotten the “You sound like a White girl” from various people. My name is not overly stereotypical of one ethnicity/race. Given the anonymity, that the phone provides, maybe my luck stops there. Given all of this information, it is impossible for me not to questions if discrimination is a factor. Ignorant people are still spewing stupidity about how much Blacks benefit from affirmative action. Where are these Black people working because clearly I’m in the wrong city. White people have stolen from Blacks nonstop since they stole us from out countries. I feel robbed and violated. I am sure the work I provided to company 1 and company 3 will be used and credit will not be given to the source. 2017 you say?
When I didn’t hate people so much. When the stupidity of my fellow beings didn’t irk me so much. When annoyance didn’t linger with me throughout the day. Some time, some where, some thing happened...
I think I can pinpoint the time to midnight, the where to my bed, and the thing that happened...I turned 30.
Since the thing that happened, I find myself more frequently ranting. The reason I think this is all related to me turning 30 is because most of my rants involve “these young kids”. I fear for 50 because at the rate I’m going, I’ll be chasing kids off the lawn by next year.
I’m not the type that likes to talk the ears off my friends and family. Occasionally, they catch some of my alcohol-induced ramblings. To keep from becoming the old nagging friend, cousin, sister, girlfriend, etc., I’ve decided to just blog it out. If you are still here, welcome!
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