Captain Splendid @capn-splendid - Tumblr Blog

Choke on ur marked money bitch

-el choppo

Of course you’re no longer seeing any stories about Flint, Michigan. An entire city’s water supply was being poisoned with freaking lead. A state of emergency was called. The government wouldn’t take more than an entire year to figure out how to stop poisoning its populace. That catastrophe was solved ages ago.

Like the D student that it is, the U.S. government did do something about the Flint Water crisis – the bare minimum. Tests show that lead levels are back down to regulation levels, but nobody’s gotten around to changing the pipes yet, which was one of the causes of the problem in the first place. So everyone in Flint still has to use bottled water and filters like the whole town has a sponsorship deal with Evian. However, Michigan has pledged to spend up to $97 million to fix the water lines. You know. At some point. In the next three years. There’s probably going to be a movie about Flint getting safe water before Flint actually gets safe water.

And that’s just for the water situation. What about the damage already done to its citizenry? While Michigan has agreed to provide extra funding to health programs for Flint above its federal levels, some of those programs stop in September 2018. Others stop in March 2021. You know what won’t stop by 2021? The effects of lead poisoning. There aren’t any treatments that can cure the side effects of lead exposure, which include heart, kidney, and nerve damage, reduced fetal growth in pregnant women, and a multitude of cognitive, behavioral, and hearing problems in children.

5 Huge Stories The Media Ignored (Because Of Trump)

thesacredleaf

Mindlessly marching toward our doom.

#humanity #politics #wakeup

theonion

NEW ROCHELLE, NY—In an effort to provide vital assistance to lower-income families with working parents, a new, inexpensive daycare center will kind of keep an eye on your kids, sources confirmed Friday. “Parents can rest assured that children at Dandelion Daycare Center will be under at least a degree of adult supervision for much of the day,” said owner Miriam Greene, adding that the affordable nursery school was staffed by fairly qualified workers who will make a good faith effort to linger in the vicinity of the classroom. “We provide lunch most days, typically between noon and four, but your child should be able to clearly state any food allergies they might have, because there’s no way we can keep track of all that. We’ve also got some fun toys for playtime, though we can’t guarantee a staff member will be present in the event your child chokes on a playing piece or that our employee will know what to do even if they happen to be there. But like we always say: At Dandelion Daycare, your kids are probably going to be fine.” Greene later clarified that parents picking up their children might occasionally find them completely unattended if the worker supervising them had to cut out 20 minutes early to get to their second job.

theonion

WASHINGTON—Hours after casting his vote to repeal the Affordable Care Act and replace it with the GOP-authored American Health Care Act, Rep. Justin Amash (R-MI) reportedly terrified his constituents even further Friday by assuring them he had read every word of the newly passed healthcare bill. “I made sure to read the AHCA bill line by line before I went up to the rostrum to vote Yea,” said Amash in a chilling statement, which according to reports caused the blood to drain from the faces of all 700,000 constituents of his Western Michigan district. “After acquainting myself with each of the provisions of this new bill and carefully reviewing every section, I was able to make the [extremely frightening] decision to support it. I think it’s important to be informed on the issues.” At press time, residents of Michigan’s 3rd district were reportedly frozen in fear after Amash stated that he would be displeased if the Senate voted to remove any parts of the bill.