just gay thoughts

control freak Capricorn and a loyal Ravenclaw plus I love beer

[capricia-corn]

Mas maganda pa sa umaga ☀️

[my-dailydreams]

[rounni]

[capricia-corn]

Me and my friends, we're in our late twenties na kaya madalas pag nagkikita kami, napag-uusapan na namin yung mga plano namin sa buhay. Not everyone is blessed with a silver spoon kaya need talaga namin magwork.

Nalulungkot pa din talaga ako, everytime na nalalaman ko na mag-aabroad sila for work.

I love my friends so much na di ko pa din ma-imagine na di kami magkikita for years kasi kailangan nila umalis ng Pilipinas for work :(

Di lang ako naiyak sa harap nila kasi ayoko naman umeksena pero I've lost count on how many times na umiyak ako mag-isa kasi nalulungkot ako pag wala sila

Pero ayun nga, it's not about me hahahaha they have to work overseas kasi they have plans. Gusto ko lang talaga na maging safe sila kasi ibang environment and culture na yun paglabas nila ng Pilipinas.

Haaaay, if only our country offers a stable job here na pays well, edi sana hindi na kailangan lumabas ng Pilipinas just to earn a decent salary.

[capricia-corn]

Ang hirap maghanap ng trabaho ngayon sa totoo lang.

If meron mang offer, around BGC naman pero di ko pa din naitutuloy kasi malayo siya sakin.

Yung within my Las Piñas and Alabang naman, low-ball offers hays

[capricia-corn]

Kahapon habang nagtatrabaho ako, randomly nag-play yung “Chiquitita” sa Spotify. I don’t know what got into me, pero napahinto talaga ako sa ginagawa ko just to listen to the lyrics. Tapos bigla na lang akong naiyak.

"Chiquitita, tell me what's wrong? You're enchained by your own sorrow"

I just realized na sobrang nakakulong na pala ako sa kakaisip ng mga problema ko that I slowly forgot to make time for myself — the things I used to genuinely enjoy like reading, watching TV series, playing volleyball, even weekend drinking sessions with friends.

"You were always sure of yourself. Now I see you've broken a feather"

I used to be so full of life — the “life of the party,” as they’d say. I used to be fun, carefree, and genuinely happy. But now, I just feel like a lost guy in his late 20s, trying to figure life out on his own.

"You'll be dancing once again and the pain will end. You would have no time for grievin'"

Life fucked me up so bad that it slowly sucked the life out of me. I honestly can’t remember the last time I felt genuinely happy. It’s like I completely shut down, and now the only thing I seem to feel is disappointment.

I hope I get better someday. People keep telling me to focus on positive things so I can attract positive results, but it’s hard when my mind has been wired to believe that every time something good happens, something bad eventually follows.

Ang hirap kasi it feels like happiness is a temporary thing for me.

[jeuz]

Madalas naiisip ko na lang din kung paano ko kinakaya ang lahat?

[d-xebec]

Maramihan sa mga apolitical mga dds eh, ayaw lang nila ipagsigawan ba dds sila.

[capricia-corn]

Oftentimes, I wonder if this is always how things gonna be for me. Kasi I feel like no matter what I do, parang di ako nauubusan ng problema. Para akong magnet nang mga hindi magagandang bagay.

I try to stay positive as much as I can, pero if you're being beaten down multiple times, what more can I do?

Is this karma? Did I fail as a human being to deserve a life like this?

Di naman ako masamang tao. I have made bad decisions, yes pero is this the price I have to pay for? Everyday survival, walang pahinga ang isip ko sa problema at pagod physically sa work?

I'm 29 pero di ko alam kung hanggang saan ko pa kakayanin. I'm tired, really really tired and I just want to end things na. Di ko na talaga kaya.

I work to pay my bills, kulang pa sa budget pangkain ko araw-araw and I'm supposed to feel hopeful for better days? Kailan ba dadating yun?

Is my faith being put to a test? Kasi if yes, I'm failing miserably.

Ginagawa ko yung best ko to survive everyday, pero bakit ang hirap-hirap makabangon?

I have to choose if I should eat, pay my bills or go to work? Kasi lahat yun need ng pera.

If I pay my rent and bills, wala akong kakainin.

Pag bumili ako ng pagkain, wala akong ipambabayad sa bills.

Pag pinilit ko pumasok, wala akong pamasahe.

Ayaw pa akong payagan mag work-at-home muna kasi nadamay ako sa mga katarantaduhan ng mga kawork ko.

Bakit ganun? I thought I am finally making a progress, tapos biglang ganito?

Di ko na kaya. Gusto ko na matulog forever. Kung may pill lang na will make me sleep for good, I wont hesitate to take it kasi this is not the life I want.

I think I deserve better than this. I work so hard and sacrificed too much pero in the end, ganito pa din pala.

No progress. No growth. Just the same old shit I am in.

I have no one but myself tapos di na din ako tiwala sa sarili ko. So paano na pala?

[sonandheirofnothinginparticular]

[capricia-corn]

Im so so so so tired

[capricia-corn]

Nakakalungkot kasi paunti-unti nang nagre-resign yung mga OGs sa account namin. Sa sobrang toxic na kasi talaga ng management, hindi na talaga namin kayang idaan sa araw-araw na tawanan yung stress.

Dati kasi kahit stressed ka sa work, kahit paano napapagaan ng tawanan at biruan nyong magkakatrabaho. Importante talaga yung nabi-build mong relationship sa mga ka-work, no? Comforting in a way yung idea na alam mong hindi lang ikaw yung nasstress sa trabaho. You can vent out to them kasi they know exactly what it feels like.

Ito rin yung reason kung bakit hanggang ngayon, ayoko mag-onsite kasi wala na akong kilala halos sa opisina. I know their names, pero nami-miss ko lang yung ingay at gulo namin nung nasa iisang LOB pa kami.

Yung iba kasi samin, kung hindi nalipat sa ibang account, nilagay sa leadership roles or nag-resign na.

Nakakalungkot pero I cant blame them kung mas pinili nila ingatan yung sarili nila kesa sa stress. Ako kasi, wala pang malipatan and hindi ko afford mag-resign nang walang back-up kaya I have no choice but to stay.

I wish them well sa mga bagong careers or companies na papasukin nila. Swerte ng mga makakatrabaho nila kasi sobrang reliable ng mga nawala samin :(

[kevingetem]

you really have to be careful being happy around miserable people.

[capricia-corn]

What a fucking shit show 🤡🤡🤡

[theprebby]

Gusto ko nang umalis ng Pinas, at sa ibang bansa manirahan. At least don, malawak ang mararating ng mga paghihirap at sakripisyo. Pang long-term ika nga. Dito satin survival mode na nga everyday hanggang mamatay, binababoy pa tayo ng mga pukininginang mga pulitiko na yan. Mga bowlshet. Maski lupa mahihiyang lamunin sila eh.

[catasters]

[ss-writess]

“You are not easy to love. You are intense, complicated, frightening sometimes. Unfortunately for me, that only makes me love you more.”