Space god of smooth music and seafaring

Randy | 34 | AUS | bongbingbong on AO3

[alleysap]

goddd does he EVER shut up

full under cut

[whitealbum]

person who wears pads: i prefer wearing pads person who wears tampons: how can you walk around all day wearing a wet diaper full of blood that's so gross i could never! paul mccartney: john lennon wasn’t gay because if he wanted to have sex with men he would’ve had sex with me

[muppetshow2026]

fucked up in the club asking the dj to play flight of the bumblebee

[captain-athos]

insane drag Bits from tonight:

guy who got their head shaved to hair from hair

lesbian mr darcy wet tshirt contest

guy whose entire act was a bath routine but while doing coke

guy who did the original praise you fatboy slim but the "praise you like I shooooooooooooould" went for too long and then he passed out and lay on the stage for a full minute

this fucking track title:

[captain-athos]

I love byers my sweet gentle precious deeply traumatised meow meow but consider for a moment the possibility that the near death situations actually make him kind of horny. guy who spends the entire drive home after being held at gunpoint being sanctimonious and lecture-y as hell about it all which is his version of being bratty trying to goad langly and frohike into ripping the suit off him the second they get in the door

[captain-athos]

and who on the x-files should we dogboyify? ASIDE FROM MULDER

Scully

Skinner

Reyes

Doggett

Cigarette Smoking Man

Byers

Langly

Frohike

Krycek

Other (in tags)

Voting ended onJun 2

[captain-athos]

doggett nation we were so close

also I'll be real with you guys I had to google "russian guy from x files" bc I couldn't remember krycek's name

[captain-athos]

Mulder drag suit bedazzling

(Me when I saw a ufo and nobody believes me)

[milton-dammers]

Doctor Mordrid [1992]

[captain-athos]

how can it be that I spend all day doing things and then I stay up all night too because I feel like I have in fact not done enough things. I think if I had a few more hours a day that would be grand

[captain-athos]

do you guys think frohike is divorced. I think it would be really funny if he was and he and his ex wife are on good terms but they're both kind of like lmao why did we do that.

[captain-athos]

WAIT NO, SCRATCH THAT. FROHIKE IS STILL MARRIED they couldn't be bothered handling the paperwork and they're both not really actually the marrying type anyway so they just go their separate ways. but at one point (probably after yet another brush with death) byers insists that they do their wills and POA paperwork and stuff and frohike's like oh fuck hold on I need to get a divorce before I fill out any of this

[captain-athos]

do you guys think frohike is divorced. I think it would be really funny if he was and he and his ex wife are on good terms but they're both kind of like lmao why did we do that.

[captain-athos]

the one good thing about america's internet cultural imperialism is the fact that australia does pride month now as well even though we have our own pride that's like, during our summer. so now we get summer pride and winter pride

[captain-athos]

I came up with such extensive extended lore for doctor mordrid that sometimes I forget that half of it wasn't actually in the movie. I'm like oh yeah the part where mordrid's bird shapeshifts into its full size so he can ride on his back. this doesn't happen in the film btw

[captain-athos]

the magicians kinda sucks but I watched the four episodes brían f o'byrne is in anyway because if there's one thing I personally find irresistible it's a receding hairline and a really big comfy sweater

[captain-athos]

I'm fucking wheezing I was like why is this in the mordrid tag??? holy shit mayakovsky would be great in that universe though. and then I checked who the op was and it was me

[imperfect-thinker]

He can do magic on me whenever he wants 🔮✨

[cerealssoggies]

Save me Doctor Mordrid………

[captain-athos]

byers is asexual: boring. low hanging fruit. oh the shy awkward dude is ace? groundbreaking

aroace mulder and scully: now we're talking