Captain’s log: 1 year and 8 weeks
Mercy is a whole other life form anymore. A week after her birthday she started walking with zero assistance. This week she started running. She still has her little falls but she falls with absolute grace and doesn’t face plant at all. She now has a total of 10 teeth, three of which are molars, but she’s still getting down the concept of biting off of something. So I’m still having to break things down into bite sized pieces for her. Or maybe that’s just what she prefers and she’s manipulating me. Couldn’t tell ya.
She knows and demonstrates some sign language, so figuring out what she wants isn’t as hard as it used to be. That doesn’t mean she always makes sense though. The other morning as I went to pull her out of her crib, she signed “more” and I was perplexed because “more.. what..?” I pulled her into bed with me for her morning bottle of milk because that’s been the routine for a good while now. She refused the bottle and snuggled up to my chest and fell back asleep.
Sleep. She wanted more sleep.
Which is funny because when she woke up she started throwing her binkies into my bed and one managed to pelt my head.
During her birthday I came to the unfortunate conclusion that her father is a dead weight but it didn’t fully sink in until the holidays. I tend to have high expectations for people but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect a C+ father from a C average man.
I resorted back to razor blades as a coping mechanism as of the last 3 ish months. It’s a form of punishment for me for being an idiot. I should’ve stepped into this journey on my own, without Mercy’s dad. I feel like life would’ve been a little less stressful had I decided it was just me and my family. Him and his mom add so much more stress than they’re worth and I hate to say it. I don’t ever regret having her, she’s the bestest thing that has ever happened to me, I just wish I navigated our course a little differently.










