Doug Jones
occasionally subtle
h
gracie abrams
bliss lane
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
YOU ARE THE REASON
Mike Driver
Love Begins
Andulka
𓃗
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
tannertan36
almost home
Not today Justin
No title available
The Bowery Presents
Cosmic Funnies
Product Placement
noise dept.
seen from United States
seen from Qatar
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Canada
seen from Iceland
seen from United States
seen from Switzerland
seen from United States
seen from Canada
seen from Türkiye
seen from Bangladesh
seen from Netherlands
seen from Switzerland
seen from India
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from China
@caradocdearboy-blog
darlingxstella:
Stella looked at him and scoffed, shaking her head at him; trying not to laugh. “Damn, and here I was hoping to get a free drink.” Stella said, jokingly. “Such a shame…you disappoint.”
"You’ll quickly come to find I’m disappointing in many more ways than just buying drinks.” Caradoc tossed back, eyes scanning the room. “What’re you doing here alone anyways? Shouldn’t you have some sap wrapped around your arm buyin’ you drinks?”
Misery loves company || Caradoc + Wendy
slinkhvrd:
She wasn’t surprised when he changed subject. Really, she would have been surprised had he not, had he actually recited his poetry. That didn’t mean she didn’t feel somewhat disappointed; it had been months, since she had last heard his poetry and she missed it. There weren’t many others like them around ( lost beings with hollow lungs who wrote their feelings down in strange word combinations called poems ) and she had always connected with his poetry in a way that was almost terrifying. “That’s great,” she said, and she did mean it, even though she had wanted to hear him say something else. “Really.”
Did she dare come closer? Wendy stood there, as frozen as the ice in front of them, wondering what she was doing and what she should do next. And then, he offered her a drink, and she took it, sitting down on the dock as well. “Cheers,” she said, taking a sip from the thermos. “Beautiful, innit? The lake?”
Caradoc had practiced many different approaches to move past Wendy. There were days he filled pages with her name then blacked them out, ripped them up, set them on fire. He kissed pretty girls if they wore the same shade of blue that she did. Thew sickles into wishing wells and caught every shooting star he could. Nothing ever really worked though, not in the ways he wanted it to. She let the subject drop and for a fleeting moment he wished she hadn’t. God you’re so annoying. He thought to himself, because every thirty seconds his emotions shifted and he couldn’t get a grasp on them long enough to decide how he felt. “Almost as beautiful as you.” He replied sourly, watching water ripples wash over ice. That wasn’t fair, and he knew it. Wendy wasn’t a half frozen lake although he knew both would give him hypothermia if he let himself fall into their depths by this time of the year.
Caradoc didn’t want to hold this like a grudge, the pain she’d caused him. He wanted to let it go and he wanted to be able to sit here as her friend but every time he saw her he saw lazy afternoons and wild nights and morning spent memorizing the others bodies and-- he had to look away from her. “You’re insurmountable Wendy, and I have lazy legs that fail me anytime I try to move past you. So why did you come here?”
Misery loves company || Caradoc + Wendy
slinkhvrd:
She needed to get out. The castle was filled with declarations of love, pinks, reds and kisses — usually, these things were ones he loved, but with her thoughts constantly circling back to Caradoc and her heart heavy with regret & longing, it was hard to witness it. And so she’d gotten out. Fresh air slammed against her cheeks and they turned a soft pink; the February air was colder than she’d expected and soon she was warming herself up with a heating charm. Without even thinking about it, she moved to the lake, where last year she had whispered sweet nothings into Caradoc’s ear and his heart had not yet been broken by her actions. There, however, the voice of exactly that person echoed over the silent water, and her heart skipped a beat.
And without thinking clearly, she approached him and answered the last few words he spoke. “I’d like to,” she said. Perhaps this was why she was a Gryffindor; if she’d had no bravery, she would surely have turned around. Wendy supposed it was just her heart aching and her looking for a way to mend it by listening to his voice.
Caradoc was baffled. Truly baffled. He wanted to know what Wendy was doing and what her angle was and why she was showing interest. From where he was sitting, his feet rested on the where the water froze below the dock. It was beautiful, half a frozen lake with ripples lapping over the ice. For a moment he wondered if the ice would support him or not but knew there was no way it’d get close to supporting him. “Mundungus Fletcher said he knows muggles would hire me to work in their garages. Said he could get me close to a nineteen seventy seven Monte Carlo.” Caradoc told her, flipping to a change of subject before he stupidly recited words that were doused in her image.
“He’s probably completely full of shit though. Usually is.” He added cynically, turning the thermos over and over in his hands. Drinking came so naturally to him that there were times if he inherited it from his absent father, because his mother was a saint. She never drank. “Drink?” He asked, pushing it her way.
dorksmeadowes:
“Do I really have a gleam in my eyes?” Dorcas allowed him to take the flask from her, a grin showing on her lips. “Quite possibly. Well, my dear Caradoc, it’s entirely up to you whom you tell, you’d be surprised who believes you.”
“Of course you do. I have a real eye for gleams, I’m never wrong about it.” Caradoc reaffirmed, just before pressing the flask to his lips. “You know, I’m really everyones favorite Ravenclaw. I don’t think it’d come to a surprise to anyone.”
“Drinks for all of my friends, bar tender.” Caradoc called out into the three broomsticks, before the smirk on his face became too blatantly obvious. “No I’m just kidding, I can’t afford that shit.”
Misery loves company || Caradoc + Wendy
The valentines day candy Caradoc stole from the common room left a sour taste in his mouth. Should have figured this would happen, idiot. His hands held a thermos of hot tea with whiskey. It felt fitting, on the dock of the lake where he and Wendy sat wrapped in blankets this exact day last year. It made his head spin remembering, so he took a gulp of his tea and threw a handful of the candy into the lake. He was confused. Wendy uttered the words that ignited a spark of hope in his heart. That she was confused. That’s probably whys he melted her body over his on New Years, to see if it would satisfy the impulse or just feed into it worse. Part of him hoped she would tell him when she figured it out and the other half wished she’d keep it to herself. He loved her. Of course he loved her.
“Where are you, you stupid squid?” He bellowed out over the lake, throwing another handful of candy into the lake. “You like that? It tastes like shit.” Some part of him felt relieved to be yelling at the squid he’d probably never see. It was easier to yell at the beast than it was to think about his problems. Being near drunk made it easier. “Hey, fucking squid-- want to hear some stupid words I wrote?”
@slinkhvrd
ludobagmcn:
“Hang on, shit, what’s the date again?” Ludo counted in his head, thinking about it, before straightening. “Valentine’s next week, right?”
“Fucking Christ, Ludo.” Caradoc huffed, throwing a pillow at his best mate. “I really thought you’d try to make it romantic for me this year and you forgot.”
slinkhvrd:
Wendy had always been all emotion: it was hard for her to hide the things she felt, to shelter herself from her anger or sadness or glee, was hard for her to keep her face straight and pretend she was calm. And so when Caradoc raised his voice and asked her those questions her face showed shock, too — Wendy was all big eyes and slightly parted lips as she was confronted with the request to be honest. But how could she be if she wasn’t even sure what she felt? “What is there to think about?,” she echoed, sounding both confused and somewhat angry. “We — we slept together, Doc, and I don’t know how I feel about that and I don’t understand how I feel. What is there not to think about?” Wendy swallowed, eyes fiery and teary at the same time, heart hammering against her chest.
“It felt GOOD, to be with you … in that moment it felt GOOD and I don’t know what to do with that because I can’t … I can’t hurt you again but I keep doing it no matter what I try and I don’t know how to stop it, but all I know is that I have to because I still —” There, she stopped herself and her eyes grew wider. I still love you was what she had almost said, and while she had known that for a while now, she had never said it out loud. She had never dared admit it to herself even though it was such an obvious truth, something so unavoidably real. “So yeah. I need to think. I don’t know where I … what I feel and what I want and I need to make up my mind before I can move on, because like you said, I owe you consistency. But in order to give you that I need to THINK.”
A dry laugh came from Caradoc’s lips as Wendy reminded him of what happened. As if had forgotten and that wasn’t the reason why they were standing here, at the entrance of her common room tossing words back and forth too personal for eavesdroppers. “Yeah, Wendy I know that--” why was he even standing here with her? He’d tried to talk himself out of coming and tried to talk himself into walking away, but what did he even come here to find? To kindle a a wildfire he spent months fighting? Before he could answer her everything slammed to a halt. It felt GOOD, to be with you... In that moment it felt GOOD. He needed to leave. He needed to walk away because this was only adding insult to injury. “STOP it. Wendy-- stop. Holy shit you really didn’t think this out” There was a pleading in his voice, and he wasn’t quite sure who he meant that to. Him for coming here, or her for leaving him.
There was something self destructive in this, Caradoc recognized. He’d burn this to the ground if it meant he was still able to taste the ashes. “I can’t.” He whispered hoarsely, feeling as if the air had been sucked from his lungs. LEAVE. He began to bounce on the balls of his feet. BREATHE. Everything was coming down on top of him because he didn’t anticipate this actually happening. For months Wendy had shot down all of his pathetic attempts. “I can’t wait around for you to figure out just to have you leave me once you get bored again, Wendy I cannot handle that and I can’t have this pathetic blind hope only for you to decide you still don’t want me until you do again--” but in this moment I would still do it all over again oh my god-- Caradoc couldn’t get his shit together. Everything was screaming against his better judgement and he didn’t know what to do. “Please. Just, please--” want me again, leave me alone, come back, don’t confuse me. “I gotta go.” His voice was reluctant, because he didn’t want to go but he had to go or else everything would spiral to shit. “You became one of my best friends and I’ve really missed and I need you to tell me you don’t want me. Before I go, I need to hear you say it because saying you might is far more cruel.”
slinkhvrd:
Don’t cry, don’t cry — Wendy was certain she could feel her insides twisting when Caradoc asked that question. It sent shivers down her spine and panic in her lungs, because it was the one question she was afraid to ask herself as it always lead to one answer: she wanted him. But she couldn’t; it’d would be selfish and dangerous and all the things that made her knees feel wobbly and made her want to run. She wanted Caradoc, but she didn’t dare admit that, because that meant she had made a mistake, and that all that heartbreak she caused would have been for nothing.
What could she say? She stared at him, eyes wide and lips slightly parted — like a deer in headlights, she looked at someone who had asked her a question she didn’t dare answer. Wendy realised, then, how selfish she truly had been: the decision to end their relationship seemed reckless now, like on she hadn’t thought over properly ( which, in truth, she had ) and the weight she always felt when confronted with Caradoc seemed tons and ton heavier. Somewhere, she just wanted to tell him that she wanted him, that she regretted her decision and needed him, but she couldn’t, not after having broken up with him and their night on New Year’s. Wendy wanted to be his friend more than she wanted to be his girlfriend, in all honesty, and she could not be if she put her own wishes first. “I … I want to think,” she breathed eventually, eyes glancing at her hands for a moment. “And I’ll make up my mind, because I owe you that. So until then … yeah, just do what you need to.”
“You want to think?” huffed Caradoc, slightly in shock. What was there to think about? She didn’t want him again until she did again. Who was to say she wouldn’t make her mind up only to wake up the next morning with flighty feet? Something began to swell in his chest and he tried to swallow it down. You’re letting go of hope you spent months delusionally waiting, she just feels guilty. He told himself, regulating his breathing to try and get his heart rate back under control. That’s what you were supposed to do, isn’t it? Breathing techniques were supposed to help with his outbursts of emotion. At least that’s what the counselor had told him.
“Tell me what’s there to think about?” He asked her, his voice raising hotly. He wondered for a moment whether he could evoke a reaction from her. Flames always looked prettier the brighter they burned. “Are you confused all of a sudden? What-- what is there to think about? We’ve done months of thinking, I was fucking pathetic and you? You were just absent. I can’t do that again. I’m not going to--” something caught in his throat for a moment but he didn’t let it deter him. “I’m not going to beg you to want me anymore.” Even though there was still remnants of pleading in his voice. He knew those may never go away. “What you owe me is consistency. You want me or you don’t-- and I don’t know how to be your friend while you figure it. I don’t trust myself, and I don’t think I can trust you either.”
dorksmeadowes:
“What makes you think I’m sharin’?” Dorcas enquired, raising a brow as she ignored her left hand shaking, flask clasped in her right hand. “I’m kidding. I always have some extra for my favourite Ravenclaw.”
“That gleam in your eyes, Dorcas.” Caradoc replied coyly, taking the flask from the girl. “I’m your favorite Ravenclaw? Do I have the authority to tell this to people?”
dorksmeadowes:
“Is it too early for vodka pumpkin juice? Or is it Gigglewater o'clock?” Dorcas questioned with a gentle smile, as she swung herself into the spot beside whom she was talking to. The smile she offered said ‘it’s never too early for vodka pumpkin juice.’
“It’s never too early if you’re sharing.” Caradoc grinned brightly, pushing him further back into the sofa as Dorcas took a place beside him. “I would say a little of both would do us just fine.”
slinkhvrd:
Wendy swallowed thickly —– he felt sick about it. Her stomach curled up and she wanted to yell at him, because even though that night had caused more trouble than she liked, it hadn’t been all bad, had it? She agreed that it shouldn’t happen again, but still, she didn’t feel sickened as she thought back, in stead mostly confused and lost. “It’s my fault,” she murmured, and this she believed to be true; she had promised Caradoc that they could be friends and she had ruined that by crossing all lines between friends and more than friends. “But it can’t, and it—- it won’t.” Even if she wanted it too, selfishly enough. “Just friends, right? We can do that.”
It’s my fault. It’s her fault. Did it matter in the end who’s fault this was? What happened was done and there was no going back. It wouldn’t mattered even if they could have, because what Caradoc would once see as blind faith in their slip up he now saw as only confusion on Wendy’s end. Did she want him or didn’t she? Because he didn’t want to live in this lingo of waiting, and knew that if that’s what it came down to he would. Ultimately he always would. “You tell me Wendy, because you’re the one that’s unsure as to what she wants. Me? I know what I want. I want to be happy and I want these god damn ghosts to leave my chest cavity and I want-- I want you to make up your mind. And until then-- I’m gonna try and move on. Because I’ll get stuck in your orbit if you let me so please-- don’t let me.”
islagoldstein:
“On a scale of one to ten… How angry would you be if I were to throw this ball of snow at you?” Isla asked pretending to think for a moment with a neatly packed snowball resting in her palm.
“Zero, unless you’re a sore loser. I’m a seasoned snowball warrior, I wouldn’t necessarily suggest engaging in a war with me.”
slinkhvrd:
A voice told her to run. Wendy felt people glance at them, heard them whisper and she was overtaken by this feeling of unease, that settled in her stomach only to leave it tense and aching. And then there was Caradoc, telling her HE was fucking up, when she was so clearly the one at fault. “You?,” she wondered, voice small as eyes didn’t meet Caradoc’s, too busy glancing at the people in the corridor around them. “I’m the one fucking up, not you. It’s me who keeps fucking up, with this indecisiveness and inconsistency —- it’s ME.”
“I feel sick about it. I shouldn’t have let it happen and I’m not blaming you, because I’m doing this to myself. I’m doing it to myself.” Caradoc told her in a huffing sigh. She was the one that struck the match, so why was he trying to stand on a burning bridge? “We can’t keep doing this. This can’t happen again, Wendy. Because I would let it, and that’s pathetic.I have to get over you and I can’t when I can still remember what you feel like. I’ll betray myself every time.” As he spoke the words, he had to hold himself back from trying one last time with so unless you’re sure that you don’t want me-- but he already knew the answer.
daenatravers:
“ Can I trust you, though? You look like you’d lock me into a dungeon or something –– Like no offence, but you never know let’s be honest here. ”
“Me?” Caradoc scoffed, “Because I’m the one th---.” He cut himself off, shaking his head once. “I wouldn’t lock someone anywhere.”
antheaxdelafuente:
Anthea raised an eyebrow and smirked a little. “It looks like someone doesn’t know when to stop, does he?” They shook their head and dropped their gaze to their nails. “This is why I am extremely careful when I drink here.”
“He just knows how to have a good time.” Caradoc replied curtly, his eyes flicking to the Slytherin before he distributed his weight towards helping the boy get back up onto his seat. “That’s nice though. Glad you’re careful.”
“Come on-- someone has had a little too much to drink. It’s okay-- I probably won’t leave you here if you comply.”