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@cardiacjolt
"How are you?"
I hate it when people in my life ask me how I am. I don't want to lie and tell them I'm okay or that everything is alright, but at the same time, I don't want to tell them the truth and have them worry. Instead I say nothing. I just don't reply to the messages.
Successful day
Amazing.
🍋
So many people call me their "best mate" yet I feel incredibly alone.
Making time for someone is a big compliment. It's one of the best ways to show them that you want them.
Amen.
Days I forget...
...to take my antidepressants. I always feel things, things I used to feel. I cry. I feel human again.
This looks fun.
Days like these...
I wish someone would literally just kill me. Put me out of my misery and just kill me.
:(
Death would be bliss
I'm struggling to get moving today. I feel physically numb. It feels like I'm in a tiny room and being drowned by loud bass notes. I can't think, I can't move, I don't want to keep my eyes open.
Night on my own. Roaming the streets of St lucia after two bottles of champagne and eight schnapps shots. Amusing myself by disrupting the flow of traffic with road work cones.
A Moet a day keeps the doctor away.
CAF
Late night drives because life is fucking ugh.
Toothpaste For Dinner comic: cant you just do what i want
100 questions because I'm bored.
1: Is there a boy/girl in your life?
Yes.
2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?
No and I never will.
3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”
Penny Wong.
4: What’s something you really want right now?
Oh God yes.
5: Are you afraid of falling in love?
No.
6: Do you like the beach?
Love it.
7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?
Yep.
8: What’s the background on your cell?
David Bromley's skulls.
9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?
I don't understand this question.
10: Do you like your phone?
She goes alright.
11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?
Who knows.
12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?
Some random put his number in my phone at a function.
13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?
Poodle.
14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?
Emotional.
15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?
Art museum.
16: Are you tired?
Very. The Stillnox will kick in soon, probably around question 80 or so... Watch this space.
17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?
21 years.
18: Are they a relative?
No.
19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?
No, fuck no.
20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?
Three hours ago *sigh*
21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?
Yes.
22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Yes, and if things go my way he'll be the last person I ever kiss. #wishfulthinking
23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?
None, it's bedtime.
24: Is there a certain quote you live by?
She works hard for the money, so hard for the money.
25: What’s on your mind?
A beautiful boy named Ryan.
26: Do you have any tattoos?
No.
27: What is your favorite color?
Black.
28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?
Wednesday night.
29: Who are you texting?
No one, I'm on Tumblr, WTF?
30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?
Umm, yes.
31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?
Yes and I hate that I didn't do anything to stop it :(
32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
Yes.
33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?
I really hope so.
34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?
Yes, him.
35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?
3
36: Were you single on Valentines Day?
Yes.
37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?
Yes.
38: What do your friends call you?
The RSPCA.
39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?
No.
40: Have you ever cried over a text?
Not that I can recall.
41: Where’s your last bruise located?
My thumbs.
42: What is it from?
Rowing.
43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?
Work, today.
44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?
A boy named Mitchell.
45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?
No.
46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?
Yes.
47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?
No, hell no. Finasteride FTW.
48: Do you make supper for your family?
Family, haha. Funny concept.
49: Does your bedroom have a door?
What is this, Cambodia? Yes.
50: Top 3 web-pages?
Porn.MD
Youtube
51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?
No.
52: Does anything on your body hurt?
My thumbs and my bleeding heart...
53: Are goodbyes hard for you?
Yes. I cry. It's pathetic.
54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?
I wouldn't waste a "beverage".
55: How is your hair?
Nice.
56: What do you usually do first in the morning?
Brush my teeth, floss my teeth, mouthwash my teeth. Fix my hair.
57: Do you think two people can last forever?
Yes. If I believe it and can commit to it, there must be someone else out there who'll do it too.
58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?
No.
59: Green or purple grapes?
Green to snack on, purple for platters.
60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?
Wednesday night! :D
61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
Yes.
62: When will be the next time you text someone?
Pfffft, who knows.
63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?
On the floor of my shower with water running down my naked body. Probably downing a bottle of champagne.
64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.
On a boat.
65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?
Legit, no one.
66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
Yes.
67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
Yes - both - and it was gooooooooood.
68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
"OMG why do I feel like I'm floating on water!?"
69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?
Erryday.
70: How many windows are open on your computer?
At least twenty - crazy, I know.
71: How many fingers do you have?
...eight plus two thumbs!? Is this a trick question?
72: What is your ringtone?
Some generic Samsung thing.
73: How old will you be in 5 months?
We're not going there.
74: Where is your Mum right now?
Probably in her bed at home (WTF?)
75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?
Because she rejected me and then I turned to guys. And they reject me. #majorfail
76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?
Yes, briefly.
77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?
Most = no. Hell to the mother fucking no.
78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?
No idea.
79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?
Yes.
80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?
Probably, although I can't recall. I'm usually the big spoon.
81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?
One *sigh*
82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?
No.
83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?
Already have.
84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?
Melissa.
85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?
If I loved him, I wouldn't care. I would discourage him if it became a regular occurrence that would cause him long-term harm.
86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?
I threw popcorn everywhere and pretended it was an accident. Some people laughed, others got angry. I stood there like Daria when the ball knocks out her friend.
87: Who was your last received call from?
Melissa.
88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?
No - what a weird question!?
89: What is something you wish you had more of?
Time with the guy who's got my heart.
90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?
Yes, yes and yes.
91: Do you sleep with your window open?
Always, or I'll get REALLY uncomfortable / claustrophobic.
92: Do you get along with girls?
The well-groomed ones.
93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?
I'm unsure if they NEED to know, so no, I don't think I am.
94: Does sex mean love?
No, most definitely not.
95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?
So long as the room had a window or air con, no, no problem.
96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?
Yes.
97: Did you sleep alone this week?
Yes, welcome to my life.
98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?
Yes and he knows it.
99: Do you believe in love at first sight?
I actually didn't at all until I met someone special last March.
100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise?
Can't remember.
This song is about taking chances. This song is about letting go. This is song about asking yourself, what are we waiting for? <3
Today
Dressed to the nines. Bottle of wine for lunch. Overly aromatic pastry to mask wine. Dancing. Daily Tumblr update complete. Marked improvement in mood. Back to work in 10 minutes.
My Daily Diet
Salads Alcohol
