#CARDIOMYAPATHY. dr. kelly anderson. cardiothoracic surgeon oc. est 2018. an outsourced ‘autobiography’ on daily bouts of ego-centric arrogance, mommy issues while being someone's coping mechanism for their daddy issues, full blown rage turned to court-mandated anger management therapy, and breaking down nurtured hypermasculinity. ghostwritten by LANE. ( 29, they/them. )
* mutuals only. 21+ as nsfw present, as well as topics such as : medical procedures, gore, addiction, drugs, alcoholism, and titties.
CARRD. HEADCANONS. FC. MEMES. NSFW.
Momma always wanted a little girl to dress up and show off like a little porcelain doll. Instead, she got a deadbeat and a little boy that wanted nothing more than to eat mud off a stick. Still, she did her darnedest to work with what she got and had him dolled up anyway. Little Kelly Anderson. Years of playing dress up and some emotional trauma later, Momma met a new man with three free daughters included. Two had outgrown the girly frills, but one was younger than her own son and soon he was discarded to the side and his step-sister was the new object of her affection. THANK FUCKING GOD.
– with a temper and mommy issues that have gotten him into far more shit than if he just went to therapy, but man oh man, there was no way he was going to pay to sit around and talk about his feelings. Instead, he uses the ridiculous amount of money he’d acquired to hire lawyers to keep it all on the DL. Being a surgeon was a great way to harness all of that overflowing ego-centricism bubbling within him and using it for G O O D ; saving lives to make up for his own personality, enabling that G O D C O M P L E X of his, and making bank. Rich and not afraid to flaunt it, Kelly hides behind his charisma, money and attitude to irresponsibly live his life to the fullest. Fast cars, multiple properties, and yearly rehab stints in foreign countries where nobody in his circle would hear a word of his anger management treatments. Or attempts at sobriety.
In recent years, he's toned down the attempts at self sabotage and put his money towards opening his own clinic. He'll often step in at the hospital to perform surgeries, but he's his own boss now and with that comes a whole other can of worms.
climbs him like a tree then gives him the most polite smooch
it's the way he's super sturdy and doesn't move a muscle as she scales him; just hooks his arms under her thighs so she doesn't fall off, and even then his forearms are solid enough she can sit on them like a chair.
u should send in "lights, cameras, action!" so i can tell you how ur muse would be introduced in their debut scene in aisling's tv show/movie series (i.e. the build-up, the hints, the music, the little easter eggs) (even if you've already sent it in on the old blog, and even if we haven't interacted yet!) ( ALWAYS ACCEPTING! )
S2 E12: MÁINLIA. ( TRANS: SURGEON. )
so this episode is brought to us by anytime fitness, who offer a 50% discount to all new members for the first twelve months. also, there's a lottery for a smoothie blender and a year's supply of free protein powder, bc we can't air these episodes without financial support, yk? and i also wanna highlight that kelly is referenced quite a bit in earlier episodes, particularly through aoife and shane, but also in magazines, talk shows, he's a very popular crush, maybe there's been a few times where aisling took someone to the hospital for a check-up for paperwork and they were like "we can tell doctor anderson you're here" and she's like "please don't disrupt him, i saw him on the morning show, he's going to be insufferable."
all of this to say, by the time we reach episode twelve, the image of kelly has been built in such a way that we understand him to be a prominent enough public figure, a very attractive man who KNOWS he's attractive, wealthy, healthy, and possessing of a huge ego and many expensive cars. we also understand that he gained this money through his work as a surgeon, but we also don't really pay much heed to that in the build-up. that's why this episode gains so many stellar reviews and award nominations, yk?
anyway! friday night, people gather in front of their television screens. maybe it's the end of november. idk. time's wild. but people are SEATED and EXCITED and GLUED TO THE SCREENS!
( BUT they also get a TW: surgery mention, blood mention, gun use, implied death mention )
so we finish the previous episode with aisling being given xavier's location and driving out to find him. she takes a gun to avoid using the stone and drawing unwanted attention, but meanwhile, xavier has sent men to the apartment to detain the squad as leverage; that is, until richard tries to get the upperhand and ends up being shot twice in the struggle.
kelly's episode begins with aisling, now holding xavier at gunpoint, staring at the cctv footage of the diner as richard collapses to the ground. xavier looks startled, and tries to limit the fallout, but aisling forces him to give her his phone, which she uses to call kelly. the scene splits between the two; aisling trying not to cry in xavier's villa, kelly pausing as he packs up his things and answering the phone call with a frown. " not exactly standard office hours, dick. "
" kelly-- "
" new cell, ais? not that I mind… is this what i think it is or-- "
" richard's been shot. "
instantly, the flirty smoulder is replaced by a focused look of alarm; not in the sense of fear, but rather the urgency. " where is he? "
" diner. "
" on it. " he grabs two bags, not the stylish leather but durable canvas, and as he sprints out and down the street, far faster than the dragging traffic, aisling puts the phone on speaker and sits down. the camera now focuses entirely on kelly; as he shoves through the diner door, the armed men move to aim at him, when we hear xavier quickly dismiss them and order them to abandon their task. kelly's already moving before they drop their weapons, and by the time he gets to richard, the men have disappeared entirely.
here's the thing. we know kelly is a flirt. we know he's very much aware of the effect his appearance has on people. we know this is a man who, by film standards, has already ticked enough boxes to be written as a fully fledged character. but in this moment, as he kneels next to richard and deftly cuts through his shirt, we see a look of profound focus and analytical knowledge take over his face. this is the best cardiothoracic surgeon the world has ever known, and likely ever will, and he's here to show us precisely why that is. knocking aside the towels that were staunching the blood, he turns to the others. aoife is assigned pressure duty. shane holds a light above richard's chest. the scalpel and tools are sterilized and assembled carefully by kate. kelly, having scrubbed in and disinfected as much as he can, gets to work on a thoracoscopic surgery.
now i'm not a doctor. but the scene is a work of art, and gains critical acclaim from the medical community. kelly proves exactly why he has the life he has, the fame, the glory, the adoration. on the diner floor, kneeling and with the tools available, kelly improvises as needed and performs a surgery with phenomenal talent. even to medical amateurs, this is a perfect process; the bleeding stops, the organs are functioning again, and richard is arguably only unconscious because of the anaesthesia. kelly leans back. shaky gratitude is extended, but the look on his face is that of a man who just feels abundant relief. and also possibly the opportunity to bring this up in a swanky event.
but then richard begins to wheeze. using the camera from the surgery, kelly can't see what's causing this to happen. terror erupts, but while everyone panics, kelly seems to withdraw into himself, trying to recall a missing detail that might save richard.
cue the flashback. leading medical experts gather in a conference room, studying transcripts of medical school grades and finding themselves focused on that belonging to dr. k. anderson. " well, that's just a point above yours, doctor malloy. "
" if you say so. but at least I have humility; this guy's a jerk. "
the five look up; the camera pans around to reveal a younger kelly, flirting shamelessly with a giggling cluster of medical interns when a jealous colleague scoffs from his desk. " what's this? another bet, anderson? see how many interns you can hook up with before your shift ends? don't be upset, folks, he'll do anything for the opportunity to say he won something. remember that time you memorized that medical encyclopedia just to stick it to our tutor? "
" i remember. and i can tell you just about every possible variation of sarcoidosis, too. but talking with these lovely people is much more enjoyable than doing your job for you. "
the flashback ends. amidst the rising chaos of the diner, everything becomes muted as kelly inhales slowly. opens his eyes. we have a close-up of his face, focusing on him as he focuses on his patient. " the shooter. he wore gloves? "
" yeah, blue latex. "
" epi-pen. NOW. "
" no, dad, the guy never touched him-- "
" no. " kelly agrees, uncapping the offered pen and bringing it over to richard's thigh. once administered, he dumps the pen in a blue plastic bucket filled with the rest of the waste. " but he did load his weapon. traces of latex must've transferred to the rounds. " he waits, staring at his watch as he checks richard's pulse. seconds stretch like elastic. silence reigns supreme. and then… the wheezing levels out. richard begins to breathe normally once again. stanley begins to cry, and kelly pats his arm before rising to his feet, a slow exhale pushing free. " he's in the clear, ais. "
the camera cuts. this time, it's about two hours later. the squad are upstairs with richard. aisling arrives, turns the closed sign around, and locks the door. the scene splits again; a wall divides her and kelly, aisling mopping the floor, kelly pulling on a clean sweater after hand-washing his original ensemble. aisling finishes mopping the floor, and kelly emerges, a familiar glint of wry wit in his eyes. " nailed it. "
" nice catch with the latex allergy. "
" yeah. right up there with the bullet allergy. you look exhausted. "
" what are you, a doctor? " her voice catches, and suddenly, for the first time in a while, we see aisling on the brink of tears. the camera turns to kelly. the fans will make gifsets of this moment; partly because hot doctor in a sweater, but more because of the absolute hypocrisy to say aisling looks exhausted when the evening has visibly taken so much out of him, too. he pauses. lifts his eyebrows.
" you're never gonna believe this, but… i am. come on. time for a prescribed triple shot of scotch. " he holds out a hand, which aisling accepts, and they begin to walk up to the door. the camera remains on their backs, not moving from the original spot. " honestly, that's the only reason i did all this. richard had a papercut; only needed a band-aid, but i figured the anaesthesia would help him tell me where he keeps the glenfiddich. "
as kelly turns off the lights, the diner dims, section by section until the screen goes black. the episode ends. and it's not the last we see of dr. kelly anderson.
"hey baby," she takes her usual sit upon his lap, arms wrapping around his neck while she grins. "did you know that i love you?"
" ACTUALLY, this is news to me. " It's not. He shuffles her thighs higher up on his lap so she could loom over him. His head tilts back and he purses his lips, the divot between his eyebrows forming. " You should probably explain to me ... why you love me. "
" YES, you are. Come on, please? You get to dress up, you get to show off ... you? This beats any of those Navy 'America is great' events. This is something better. Please? I don't say that often. "
"hey, kelly?" that innocence in her voice is never a good sign. she's been surprisingly settled this evening and kelly was living on borrowed time. she smiles, red hair a lightly frizzed halo in the golden dusk. "when's the last time you had a burger? like a real proper burger."
" – yes, baby? "
The face he makes is her answer. " What kind of question is that? " He shoots off an email before even lifting his eyes. Her beauty distracts him for a second, then he closes the lid of his laptop and beckons for her to take a seat on freed up lap. " Depends on your definition of a burger. There's some good keto smash burgers that are fine. If you're talking about ... fast food … then ..." he clicks his tongue, propping his head up on the palm of his hand. " Over a decade ago? Drunk? "
