Kayla @carefreewaffle - Tumblr Blog

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Me 2 seconds after being born

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i’m the panel

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the stomping

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I don’t know who this white boy is but I trust him

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Comedian and vlogger Elijah Daniel became mayor of Hell, Michigan, proceeded to ban all heterosexuals, and then was impeached. This singlehandedly saved 2017

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I ended up having a really interesting conversation with some people at the bus stop today. They were getting out of some sort of ‘clean and sober’ meeting and had starting saying how they were so bored because they didn’t have anything to do, and had to stay at home because all their old friends would pull them back. So I said something like, ‘So this is the time to do all the stuff your parents told you they didn’t have money/time for!’ “Whatcha mean?” “You know, like when you were five and you REALLY wanted to have that toy or do that thing and you were like, ‘Please mom please I gotta have this I gotta go do this’ and they went ‘Hell no you think I’m paying for that do you want to goddamn EAT?’ “ And this light went on in their eyes. The lady is going to go check thrift stores for an Easybake Oven and I told her about Wilton cake decorating classes. The dude is going to Griffith Park and ride horses, because, ‘I always wanted to be a cowboy, and you can’t drink when you’re on a horse ‘cause you’ll fucking die!’ Fuck it. This is what being an adult is. Sure it’s bills and work and relationships, but damn it, it’s also time to do the things you LIKE. I signed up for a free class/lecture on Water Gardens. I’m going. It’s time.

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Jill. Jill you are wonderful.

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Sportscaster Dale Hansen defends student wrestler Mack Beggs and takes a stand against transphobia

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my friend has one of those really deep wells (like 4 ft deep!) outside of her bedroom window bc her room’s in the basement so any time it rains a bunch of frogs end up trapped down there and I climb down to get them out.

and after a while I noticed that some animal (probably a raccoon) takes its food down there to eat for whatever reason, so there are a bunch of skulls and bones. I have special permission to collect skulls for educational purposes and deliver them to certain people, so now I grab those too.

Well today I climbed down in, found three frogs, and five skulls. So I’m climbing out of this pit with a frog and a ziploc bag full of animal bones and suddenly the fattest pug and boston terrier I’ve ever seen both come over barking

and the neighbor comes over to see what’s going on. and I have these bones and these frogs and I’m like “uh, hey!”

just got my. bag of skulls.

and she says “oh! they told me about you, hahaha! are the frogs okay?”

I’m glad this is my legacy.

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it’s worth noting I have to like, put my arms on either side of the well and use my upper body to lower myself into it and then I like duck down and disappear so it HAS to look weird from a distance, no matter HOW many skulls or frogs I come out with.

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Truth Coming Out of Her Well to Shame Mankind

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FREAKIN BEAR IN THE BIG BLUE HOUSE.

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*cHOKES ON DRINK*

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remember the Smells Like Ass gif

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special times for cat people

when they’re cleaning their feets and spread all their little toes out

when they smelled something weird and make a stinky face

when they walk up to you making little chirpy purrs of inquiry

when they get distracted by a noise mid-lick and a tongue blep occurs

when they see a bird and do that ekekekk thing

when they become possessed by the devil and tear around the house with demonic speed and then pause mid-vicious-attack of a scratching pole to whip their head around and fix you with their all-pupil stare of unhinged terror