dead devotion

—— cal. they & them. adult. writeblr. lacking motivation. confused. main; shivered-bones.

[careful-fear]

hi i am cal, they & them, and this is my second attempt at an introduction because my first one was not doing it for me. i'm currently attempting to get back into writing, and maybe make some friends along the way. please send me wips, asks, tag games, messages, prompts, anything. interaction is difficult so some direction would be helpful.

my aim is to finish a few short stories before i move onto anything bigger, which is what i will mostly be talking about on here for now. there is the possibility of the occasional unrelated drabble and fanfiction. books rants will also be here, as they are tangentially related, and i'm open to discussing books and giving or receiving recs.

my tastes are quite flexible so i am almost guaranteed to enjoy any wip sent, although i adore horror, fantasy, found family and stories surrounding moral ambiguity. anything along those lines is enough to get me invested, and i typically write about them often. queer characters are also a large focus in my works, especially those who are on the aro/ace spectrums and use neutral pronouns, which is really just me crying for representation and diversity in that rep. supernatural and inhuman characters are often my protagonists, mostly because i think they look cool and create a lot of interesting dynamics.

oh and i have a website. most writing will be posted there, including completed wips.

( A SHRIKE TO A SHARP AND GLORIOUS THORN ) — the story of a hunted witch and a forgotten god, and the death that binds them. to separate would be their end, but they may find it in each other regardless. an unhealthy and obsessive romance, horror themes, fantasy setting.

( IN THE ABSENCE OF MYTH ) — a soul finding its place, a world healing after a war. cosy fantasy, found family.

( CAL WRITES SOMETHING ) — any form of writing.

( WIP ) — a master page for a wip. they will also have their own specific tags for connected posts.

( OC ) — a character profile. they may also have their own tag if i post about them often.

( FANFICTION ) — fanfiction, what it says on the tin.

( OTHER WRITERS ) — reblogged introductions and wips.

[daredevil-vagabond]

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry; I am not there. I did not die.

[fleurtygurl]

Act I: The Legality of Hawaiian Hot Rocks

Previous / Next

Act I Scene IV

(Guy, Iguana, Maisie, and The Weiner Dog) enter. 

Guy leans against the parking lot’s chain fence and fans himself with a big red paper fan. Maisie puts on a face mask for herself and for The Weiner Dog so they don’t inhale the smoke. Iguana, squatting, is shiny with sweat and agony. He groans. 

Iguana: I swear to God if one of them dies, I’m going to be blamed for it somehow.  

Maisie: Probably. 

The Weiner Dog: Arrf! 

The Weiner Dog wags her tail and circles Maisie. She lies on the ground anticipating the pets she deserves. 

Maisie: See? Our sweetie-pie agrees with me, don’t cha?

Maisie rubs her belly and coos:

Maisie: Who’s a good girl? That’s right, you are and poor Iguana will take all the blame for their deaths, yes he will, oh yes he will—

Iguana: —Not before I make sure Chief and the higher ups know this was all Guy’s idea. 

Iguana flinches from Guy snapping his fan shut. Guy wields the closed fan like a knife and brings it to Iguana’s throat.

Guy: Most certainly not. I'm not taking ownership f'r their demise. 

Iguana: But it was your idea!

Guy: So? 

Iguana: So, YOU should take responsibility for it! It’s called accountability, have you heard of it?

Iguana tries to snatch Guy’s fan, but Guy grips it with both hands. 

Guy: Releaseth it this instance. The heateth from the hot rocks art as scorching as the celestial orb of venus, I require my paper fan to command mine own temp'rature! 

Iguana: You don’t need it, you just want it to act like a drama queen! Wave it around and make yourself seem cool—hate to break it to you, but it makes you look stupider than usual!

Guy: Vile slug! My paper fan elevates mine own aura, so doth not counsel MOI how to dresseth. 

Iguana rips the fan away, making Guy lose his balance. He falls backwards. Iguana stands over him, and smirks.

Iguana: Careful there Guy, your French is slipping in with your Shakespeare. What would Fii think of THEE now? Haha! 

Guy gets up, and shoves Iguana into the chained fence.

Guy: Thee not dareth speaketh h'r nameth! Thee knoweth how sensitive I am of the subject.  

Iguana: Tsk. You need to move on already, it’s been months, besides she has a new boyfriend. 

Guy falls to the ground and begins to cry dramatically. The Weiner Dog jumps from Maisie’s arms. She stands between Guy and Iguana.

The Weiner Dog: Arff! Arff! Arff! 

Maisie: Calm down y’all. You’re upsetting The Weiner Dog. 

Guy: Je suis désolé petite saucisse, mais je dois exprimer mes sentiments. [I’m sorry little sausage, but I must express my feelings.] 

The Weiner Dog trots away, wanting nothing to deal with these people. 

(The Weiner Dog) exit. 

Iguana: Great you gave our mascot second hand embarrassment, you—

Iguana stops speaking as he’s caught off guard by Guy pretending to faint. Maisie and Iguana give each other a look that reads “here we go again.” Guy takes a deep breath and speaks his one line soliloquy. To him, any deep emotion that he expresses out loud is considered a soliloquy. 

Guy:  Fii ma chérie, comment as-tu pu donner ton âme à un autre ? [Fii my sweetheart, how could you give your soul to another?] 

Maisie: Great. You broke him, Iguana. 

Iguana: I like this better, now you’re the only one who can understand him. Don’t bother translating for me, ignorance is bliss. 

Guy crawls to Maisie and cries on her boots.

Guy: Maisie, je ne suis qu'un simple mortel. IGUANE m'a insulté à tort. [Maisie I am a mere mortal. IGUANE has wrongly insulted me.]

Maisie: Calme-toi, tout ira bien. [Calm down, it’ll be alright.] 

Maisie: Iguana, apologize. 

Iguana: Hell no. He’s over reacting. 

Guy continues to cry dramatically and covers his face. 

Iguana: See? 

Maisie: You know how sensitive he is, just apologize to get it over with. 

Iguana: Not after what he did.  

Maisie: You’re upset he pushed you in the fence or that he brought Fii for the millionth time? 

Iguana: That too, but no. He did the one thing he knows I hate more than ANYTHING!

Iguana whispers in Maisie’s ear.

Iguana: He said my name the French way. 

Maisie: But it’s cute! 

Iguana: No it’s not! 

Guy spawns behind Iguana and Maisie.

Guy: Maisie a raison, IGUANE est plus mignon que Iguana. [Maisie is right, IGUANE is cuter than Iguana.]

Guy flips his hair.

Guy: I shall sayeth it liketh this so thee too can und'rstand. Iguane is music to one's ears, IGUANA is not.

Iguana: MOTHER FUCKER YOU SWITCHED— 

Maisie: —Awe, our petit Iguane is upset. 

Guy and Maisie: Notre Iguane est mignon quand il est malheureux! [Our Iguane is cute when he’s upset.] 

Iguana: BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP! I SWEAR IF YOU GUYS DON’T I’M GONN— 

(Off stage) Agua’s scream pierces through silencing Iguana from speaking another word. Dun. Dun. DUNNN!

Taglist (pls ask to be added/removed): @delusionisaplace @hudsuns @careful-fear

Orange heart divider by @cafekitsune

[fleurtygurl]

Act I: The Legality of Hawaiian Hot Rocks

Previous / Next

Act I Scene III

Agua stands before the coals with Le Feu behind her. Agua questions what she did to be punished with a walk of fire. She thought, “If I make it out alive, then I'll watch a beluga whale documentary and eat a bowl of clam chowder soup at that new restaurant that opened up.” She charges onto the coals.

Agua: FOR THE BELUGAS! 

Le Feu: !!!

Le Feu rushes after Agua. After she catches herself from stumbling, Agua slows down in the middle. She babbles as the flames flicker around her feet. Her eyes sparkle with compassion at Le Feu behind her.

Agua: You doing okay, Le Feu? 

Le Feu: ~~~

Le Feu gives Agua a soft smile. 

Agua: I did NOT stumble! You saw nothing. 

Le Feu: …

Le Feu stays behind Agua watching her steps. Agua shrugs him off.

Agua: Fine, I’ll go slow. 

Le Feu: !.. 

They hear cheering and chirpy barking. Agua gives a small wave to her potential future co-workers. She half whispered so only Le Feu could hear her.

Agua: I don’t know what to make of them. I’m kinda scared of that Shakespearean guy. He seems… 

Le Feu: —

Agua: Well, that's a bit harsh. I was gonna say “enthusiastic,” but that works too. The other guy is a bit like you, so he can’t be too bad. 

Le Feu: ??!

Agua: I didn’t mean it in a bad way, I meant how you’re both reserved. At least the girl seems sweet, I wonder if she likes— O.M.G! I didn’t even ask for their names or how their day was. I went straight into questioning the legitimacy of their ways. What if they think I’m rude? Or worse, a spy. 

 Agua tears up.

Agua: I’ve made an awful first impression, at best they’re going to think I’m unsociable, and think it’s not worth hiring me even if I cross all of these flaming coals. At worst, they’re going to think I’m gathering information for THEM, and–and–and then I’ll never be a firefighter, and then I’ll have to go back to—

 Before finishing her sentence, Agua sobs. Le Feu taps her shoulder.

Le Feu: … 

Agua: What’s that? Oh…

Le Feu: … 

Agua: OH! You’re so right, duh! I’ll just ask them for their names once we get to the end, great thinking. Thanks Le Feu, I don’t know what I’d do without you. 

Le Feu: ~~~

Agua: Say after this, do you want to get something to eat? We can celebrate once we pass, or if we fail— but of course that would never ever happen since we’ve trained so hard—but in the slight chance we DO fail, can still go out to cheer us up. 

Le Feu: …  

Agua: You heard about the new seafood place too? My sister was telling me they have the best clam chowder. I told her I’d be the judge of that. I can’t trust her tastebuds, one time she used up a loaf of expired bread for pastrami sandwiches. I showed up to her place late and she had already eaten half of one. 

Agua laughs. 

Le Feu: ..?  

Agua: I don’t remember when this was, not any time recently, it must have been before she went off to university? Or maybe she was already at university, I might’ve already been in high school by then. 

Le Feu: ..? 

Agua: No, she won’t be coming with us to the seafood place. She’s too busy with all the racing around. She’s centered in mid-town. And you know me, and my feelings about mid-town. Like, no sir, are we going back up there! 

Le Feu: … 

Agua: Hey, we’re almost at the end! C’mon let’s have a strong finish! 

(Agua and Le Feu) exit.

Agua picks up the pace and Le Feu follows suit. If all goes well, Agua and Le Feu won’t get third degree burns and then no one will get sued. In other words, let’s pray nothing goes wrong in the last few strides in the walk of fire—because that would be a lot to deal with- and no this is most definitely not foreshadowing. Totally NOT foreshadowing. So whilst we pray, let’s see what the three knuckleheads plus The Weiner Dog have been up to.

Taglist (pls ask to be added/removed): @delusionisaplace @hudsuns @careful-fear

Orange heart divider by @cafekitsune

[fleurtygurl]

Act I: The Legality of Hawaiian Hot Rocks

Previous / Next

Act I Scene II

Iguana lines up the thousands of coals and lights them on fire. Guy and Maisie sit by the firestation's garage door, pointing and laughing at Iguana. Maisie stops laughing when her stomach growls. She heads over to Iguana.

Iguana: You came to help? 

Maisie: In a way, yes. 

Maisie takes out a dozen eggs from her pockets. She cracks one on top of a burning coal to cook it. Iguana raises his eyebrow at her.

Iguana: How did you get the eggs?  

Maisie: From the grocery store. 

Iguana: No, I mean how did you keep them on you?

Maisie: I keep them in my pockets, they can fit anything! 

Iguana: Go figure. 

A small dachshund trots her way to Maisie. (The Weiner Dog) enters.

Maisie: Hey, The Weiner Dog, would you like an egg? I'll give you the next one.

The Weiner Dog: Arrf!

Maisie cooks another egg, and feeds The Weiner Dog, who wags her tail. After setting down the last coal, Iguana stretches his back. Guy inspects the coals to make sure Iguana did it properly.

Iguana: Phew, it seems like we're finally done. 

Guy: Aye, and t's delightful timing too. The probationary firefight'rs art going to arriveth in five minutes. In the meantime, let us consumeth Maisie's eggs.

 Guy, Iguana, and Maisie, otherwise known as the three knuckleheads, eat the eggs. The Weiner Dog keeps an eye out for the probationary firefighters.

A few minutes pass. Two figures quietly approach, one woman, one man. 

 (Agua and Le Feu) enter.

The Weiner Dog gives a small bark to greet them. The woman rambles fast as if the words can’t help but spill out of her mouth. 

Agua: Hi, I’m Agua, we’re here for the entry-level firefighter test. We tried going around the front—but no one was there— I mean I knocked about ten, no, fifteen times, and didn’t get a response, so figured you weren’t there— and then! Smoke! I— I mean, Le Feu saw the smoke coming from behind the building, so we came here. Um, is this the right place?

Agua struggles to breathe. The three knuckleheads blink in silence at one another until Iguana speaks up.

Iguana: Yeah, you’re in the right place. 

Agua: Great, where do we start? 

Guy jumps up behind Agua and Le Feu and slings his arms around their shoulders. 

Guy: HA! HA! HA! Th're's only one way to seeth if 't be true thee two souls art brave enow to ent'r the firefight'r profession and yond is to crosseth the Hawaiian coals!

Agua: Huh?

 Iguana points to the line of burning coals. It’s about fifty feet long.

Iguana: You see that? He said you two need to cross. 

Agua: Deadass?

Iguana: Deadass.

Maisie looks at Le Feu.

Maisie: Say, what’s your name? I didn’t quite catch it when Miss Chatterbox over here said it. 

Le Feu: …

Agua: He’s Le Feu, he doesn’t talk much.

Le Feu stares blankly in agreement, he then pushes Guy off his arm. 

Maisie: Le Feu? Hmmm. Maybe he’ll respond if I speak in French,  Est-ce que vous parlez tous français, Le Feu?

Le Feu: …

Maisie: Darn, that usually works for cats who don’t respond to English commands. 

Iguana: He’s not a cat, though?

Agua cuts in and wiggles out of Guy’s grasp.

Agua: Wait, what happens if we don’t cross?

Guy: Then thee doth not passeth. 

Agua: But that’s ridiculous! It’s totally unsafe. How did this even get approved by the higher-ups? 

Guy: I needeth not any p'rmission! I am in total controleth of the testeth! 

Agua: Huh? 

Le Feu: ???

Maisie: Funny story, the higher-ups recently decided every fire station gets to decide how their test selections are run. So no need for anything to get approved. We’re living in the wild west now, baby!

Agua desperately eyes Iguana who, to her, seems to be the only sane one.

Iguana: Sorry, I can’t do anything about the test. Guy has sole authority on how the tests are run, otherwise I would’ve had you two done a scantron.  

Maisie: BOO, BORING! 

Iguana glares daggers at Maisie. Guy laughs like a super villain as Agua stares in horror. Le Feu not paying attention, pets The Weiner Dog in his arms. 

Guy: HA! HA! Crosseth over thou shall! Crosseth over THOU SHALL! 

Iguana: Shut up, Guy. Don’t make it worse for them.

Guy: Didst thee want to cross too? 

Iguana: Nope, I’m good. 

Guy: Thought so, you two—

Guy snaps his fingers at Agua and Le Feu.

Guy: Consid'r yourself lucky yond I'm gen’rous enow to alloweth thee keepeth thy shoes on.  Now, headeth to the commencing line.

Agua: Yes, sir… 

Le Feu: … 

 Maisie signals The Weiner Dog it’s time to stop cuddling her new friend. The Weiner Dog jumps down from Le Feu’s arms. Agua and Le Feu make their way to the edge of the burning hot coals.

Maisie: Alright, we’ll be sure to see you two at the finish line. C’mon, The Weiner Dog, you better wait with us at the end too.  

The Weiner Dog: Arrf!

(Iguana, Maisie, Guy, and The Weiner Dog) exit. Le Feu looks over at Agua with concern.

Agua: Damn, I guess we have no other choice. Let’s get this over with Le Feu.

Le Feu: … 

Taglist (pls ask to be added/removed): @delusionisaplace @hudsuns @careful-fear

Orange heart divider by @bunnysrph

[fleurtygurl]

Act I: The Legality of Hawaiian Hot Rocks

Next

Act I Scene I

The story begins on April 20th, 2069. The sun shines on the downtown fire station backlot. In the distance, two men are arguing. These two men are Guy, the fire station’s Captain; and Iguana [yes, that is his actual name on his birth certificate,] the fire station’s equivalent of a human punching bag.

(Guy and Iguana) enter.

Guy: Thou art such a nuisance! How couldst thee loathe the Hawaiian hot rocks?

Iguana: It’s not about whether I like them or not! Transporting them here is illegal.

Guy: Tush tush! Illegal, legal—this hast been a firefight'r tradition f'r the past century. Iguana art thee suggesting we continueth not our belov'd practice?

Iguana: What are you saying? It has never been a tradition.

Guy: Thee rebel. To bethink yond thou art mine own sub'rdinate. Nay wond'r wherefore thee aren't the Captain!

Iguana: Piss off, the only reason I’m under you is because you scored higher on the ladder test.

Guy: Well duh. Mine own forks art might'r than thy forks.

Iguana: Whatever, I still don’t understand why you insist they need to be from Hawaii. If you’re that desperate, then go grab some from the side of the mountain.

Guy’s mouth hangs agape, and he brings his hand to his chest.

Guy: Thou art so unbelievable! Hawaii carries the vibe we art seeking, thus we must chaseth the vibe. Thank goodness, Maisie and I tooketh action. Ev'rything hast been did arrange. At this moment, Maisie is picking up the hot rocks. I wouldst has't gone with h'r, but alas I has't to babysit thee.

Iguana: You mean you actually went through with it?

Guy: Aye.

Iguana: She can’t even understand you these days. How did you two– how did you plan this? I mean you’re an idiot!

Guy resists the urge to slap Iguana. He only manages for a moment.

Iguana: UM, OW?

Guy: Speaketh of the Devil, h're the lady is!

A large, moving truck comes into the backlot. It stops, and dumps thousands of coals in front of Guy and Iguana. Maisie steps out of the truck. Iguana stands shocked, while Guy jives happily.

(Maisie) enters.

Maisie: Hey, besties!

Guy: Salutations.

Iguana leaps over the coals to Maisie. He shakes her violently. Guy follows after Iguana.

Iguana: Maisie, please tell me you didn’t actually get coals all the way from Hawaii! Guy hasn’t been right in the head ever since Fii…I swear, his ideas keep getting crazier.

Maisie: Of course not!

Iguana: Oh, thank God.

Iguana sighs in relief and lets go of Maisie.

Maisie: Nah, I couldn’t go myself. So, I got my cousin to get them. She said she was always looking for an excuse to take a trip down to Ol' Big Island.

Iguana: You’re joking.

Maisie: Why would I joke about a serious situation like this?

Guy, hearing the good news, shoves Iguana to the pavement.

Guy: Thanketh thee so much. I kneweth I couldst trusteth thee. Thou art liketh a sweet angel, I repeateth, a sweet angel. Now the gallant tradition of our ancest'rs shall liveth on!

Masie: I dunno what sweet angel you’re on about, say Iguana what’s he saying?

Iguana gets up. He thinks to himself, “So now she can’t communicate with him, how convenient.”

Iguana: He said thanks for the coals.

Maisie: Awe, you’re welcome, Guy. I’ll do anything to get our new probationary firefighters into shape.

Guy: Aye! Now that we has't all the supplies tis timeth to setteth up the Hawaiian coal test. Iguana, I hest thee to set up those hot rocks.

Iguana: Why me?

Guy: Oth'rwise, I'll bid the Fireth Chief the truth about the apple juice incident—

Iguana: —You took the first sip! If I go down, you’re both coming down with me.

Iguana stands tall, Guy laughs.

Guy: Apologies. I meanteth to sayeth I shall bend the truth— throweth thee und'r the bus as thee English speaketh'rs sayeth.

Guy, and Maisie eye Iguana smugly. Iguana reluctantly submits and organizes the coals.

Maisie: Besides, if you even think of bringing me down, I’ll get Chief sir to make us retake the ladder test. Then, you’ll become my subordinate.

Iguana: Fuck my life…

Guy and Maisie: Language!

Taglist (pls ask to be added/removed): @delusionisaplace

Orange heart divider by @bunnysrph

[fleurtygurl]

Act I: The Legality of Hawaiian Hot Rocks

Next

Act I Scene I

The story begins on April 20th, 2069. The sun shines on the downtown fire station backlot. In the distance, two men are arguing. These two men are Guy, the fire station’s Captain; and Iguana [yes, that is his actual name on his birth certificate,] the fire station’s equivalent of a human punching bag.

(Guy and Iguana) enter.

Guy: Thou art such a nuisance! How couldst thee loathe the Hawaiian hot rocks?

Iguana: It’s not about whether I like them or not! Transporting them here is illegal.

Guy: Tush tush! Illegal, legal—this hast been a firefight'r tradition f'r the past century. Iguana art thee suggesting we continueth not our belov'd practice?

Iguana: What are you saying? It has never been a tradition.

Guy: Thee rebel. To bethink yond thou art mine own sub'rdinate. Nay wond'r wherefore thee aren't the Captain!

Iguana: Piss off, the only reason I’m under you is because you scored higher on the ladder test.

Guy: Well duh. Mine own forks art might'r than thy forks.

Iguana: Whatever, I still don’t understand why you insist they need to be from Hawaii. If you’re that desperate, then go grab some from the side of the mountain.

Guy’s mouth hangs agape, and he brings his hand to his chest.

Guy: Thou art so unbelievable! Hawaii carries the vibe we art seeking, thus we must chaseth the vibe. Thank goodness, Maisie and I tooketh action. Ev'rything hast been did arrange. At this moment, Maisie is picking up the hot rocks. I wouldst has't gone with h'r, but alas I has't to babysit thee.

Iguana: You mean you actually went through with it?

Guy: Aye.

Iguana: She can’t even understand you these days. How did you two– how did you plan this? I mean you’re an idiot!

Guy resists the urge to slap Iguana. He only manages for a moment.

Iguana: UM, OW?

Guy: Speaketh of the Devil, h're the lady is!

A large, moving truck comes into the backlot. It stops, and dumps thousands of coals in front of Guy and Iguana. Maisie steps out of the truck. Iguana stands shocked, while Guy jives happily.

(Maisie) enters.

Maisie: Hey, besties!

Guy: Salutations.

Iguana leaps over the coals to Maisie. He shakes her violently. Guy follows after Iguana.

Iguana: Maisie, please tell me you didn’t actually get coals all the way from Hawaii! Guy hasn’t been right in the head ever since Fii…I swear, his ideas keep getting crazier.

Maisie: Of course not!

Iguana: Oh, thank God.

Iguana sighs in relief and lets go of Maisie.

Maisie: Nah, I couldn’t go myself. So, I got my cousin to get them. She said she was always looking for an excuse to take a trip down to Ol' Big Island.

Iguana: You’re joking.

Maisie: Why would I joke about a serious situation like this?

Guy, hearing the good news, shoves Iguana to the pavement.

Guy: Thanketh thee so much. I kneweth I couldst trusteth thee. Thou art liketh a sweet angel, I repeateth, a sweet angel. Now the gallant tradition of our ancest'rs shall liveth on!

Masie: I dunno what sweet angel you’re on about, say Iguana what’s he saying?

Iguana gets up. He thinks to himself, “So now she can’t communicate with him, how convenient.”

Iguana: He said thanks for the coals.

Maisie: Awe, you’re welcome, Guy. I’ll do anything to get our new probationary firefighters into shape.

Guy: Aye! Now that we has't all the supplies tis timeth to setteth up the Hawaiian coal test. Iguana, I hest thee to set up those hot rocks.

Iguana: Why me?

Guy: Oth'rwise, I'll bid the Fireth Chief the truth about the apple juice incident—

Iguana: —You took the first sip! If I go down, you’re both coming down with me.

Iguana stands tall, Guy laughs.

Guy: Apologies. I meanteth to sayeth I shall bend the truth— throweth thee und'r the bus as thee English speaketh'rs sayeth.

Guy, and Maisie eye Iguana smugly. Iguana reluctantly submits and organizes the coals.

Maisie: Besides, if you even think of bringing me down, I’ll get Chief sir to make us retake the ladder test. Then, you’ll become my subordinate.

Iguana: Fuck my life…

Guy and Maisie: Language!

Taglist (pls ask to be added/removed): @delusionisaplace

Orange heart divider by @bunnysrph

[fleurtygurl]

Act I: The Legality of Hawaiian Hot Rocks

Next

Act I Scene I

The story begins on April 20th, 2069. The sun shines on the downtown fire station backlot. In the distance, two men are arguing. These two men are Guy, the fire station’s Captain; and Iguana [yes, that is his actual name on his birth certificate,] the fire station’s equivalent of a human punching bag.

(Guy and Iguana) enter.

Guy: Thou art such a nuisance! How couldst thee loathe the Hawaiian hot rocks?

Iguana: It’s not about whether I like them or not! Transporting them here is illegal.

Guy: Tush tush! Illegal, legal—this hast been a firefight'r tradition f'r the past century. Iguana art thee suggesting we continueth not our belov'd practice?

Iguana: What are you saying? It has never been a tradition.

Guy: Thee rebel. To bethink yond thou art mine own sub'rdinate. Nay wond'r wherefore thee aren't the Captain!

Iguana: Piss off, the only reason I’m under you is because you scored higher on the ladder test.

Guy: Well duh. Mine own forks art might'r than thy forks.

Iguana: Whatever, I still don’t understand why you insist they need to be from Hawaii. If you’re that desperate, then go grab some from the side of the mountain.

Guy’s mouth hangs agape, and he brings his hand to his chest.

Guy: Thou art so unbelievable! Hawaii carries the vibe we art seeking, thus we must chaseth the vibe. Thank goodness, Maisie and I tooketh action. Ev'rything hast been did arrange. At this moment, Maisie is picking up the hot rocks. I wouldst has't gone with h'r, but alas I has't to babysit thee.

Iguana: You mean you actually went through with it?

Guy: Aye.

Iguana: She can’t even understand you these days. How did you two– how did you plan this? I mean you’re an idiot!

Guy resists the urge to slap Iguana. He only manages for a moment.

Iguana: UM, OW?

Guy: Speaketh of the Devil, h're the lady is!

A large, moving truck comes into the backlot. It stops, and dumps thousands of coals in front of Guy and Iguana. Maisie steps out of the truck. Iguana stands shocked, while Guy jives happily.

(Maisie) enters.

Maisie: Hey, besties!

Guy: Salutations.

Iguana leaps over the coals to Maisie. He shakes her violently. Guy follows after Iguana.

Iguana: Maisie, please tell me you didn’t actually get coals all the way from Hawaii! Guy hasn’t been right in the head ever since Fii…I swear, his ideas keep getting crazier.

Maisie: Of course not!

Iguana: Oh, thank God.

Iguana sighs in relief and lets go of Maisie.

Maisie: Nah, I couldn’t go myself. So, I got my cousin to get them. She said she was always looking for an excuse to take a trip down to Ol' Big Island.

Iguana: You’re joking.

Maisie: Why would I joke about a serious situation like this?

Guy, hearing the good news, shoves Iguana to the pavement.

Guy: Thanketh thee so much. I kneweth I couldst trusteth thee. Thou art liketh a sweet angel, I repeateth, a sweet angel. Now the gallant tradition of our ancest'rs shall liveth on!

Masie: I dunno what sweet angel you’re on about, say Iguana what’s he saying?

Iguana gets up. He thinks to himself, “So now she can’t communicate with him, how convenient.”

Iguana: He said thanks for the coals.

Maisie: Awe, you’re welcome, Guy. I’ll do anything to get our new probationary firefighters into shape.

Guy: Aye! Now that we has't all the supplies tis timeth to setteth up the Hawaiian coal test. Iguana, I hest thee to set up those hot rocks.

Iguana: Why me?

Guy: Oth'rwise, I'll bid the Fireth Chief the truth about the apple juice incident—

Iguana: —You took the first sip! If I go down, you’re both coming down with me.

Iguana stands tall, Guy laughs.

Guy: Apologies. I meanteth to sayeth I shall bend the truth— throweth thee und'r the bus as thee English speaketh'rs sayeth.

Guy, and Maisie eye Iguana smugly. Iguana reluctantly submits and organizes the coals.

Maisie: Besides, if you even think of bringing me down, I’ll get Chief sir to make us retake the ladder test. Then, you’ll become my subordinate.

Iguana: Fuck my life…

Guy and Maisie: Language!

Taglist (pls ask to be added/removed): @delusionisaplace

Orange heart divider by @bunnysrph

[fleurtygurl]

Act I: The Legality of Hawaiian Hot Rocks

Next

Act I Scene I

The story begins on April 20th, 2069. The sun shines on the downtown fire station backlot. In the distance, two men are arguing. These two men are Guy, the fire station’s Captain; and Iguana [yes, that is his actual name on his birth certificate,] the fire station’s equivalent of a human punching bag.

(Guy and Iguana) enter.

Guy: Thou art such a nuisance! How couldst thee loathe the Hawaiian hot rocks?

Iguana: It’s not about whether I like them or not! Transporting them here is illegal.

Guy: Tush tush! Illegal, legal—this hast been a firefight'r tradition f'r the past century. Iguana art thee suggesting we continueth not our belov'd practice?

Iguana: What are you saying? It has never been a tradition.

Guy: Thee rebel. To bethink yond thou art mine own sub'rdinate. Nay wond'r wherefore thee aren't the Captain!

Iguana: Piss off, the only reason I’m under you is because you scored higher on the ladder test.

Guy: Well duh. Mine own forks art might'r than thy forks.

Iguana: Whatever, I still don’t understand why you insist they need to be from Hawaii. If you’re that desperate, then go grab some from the side of the mountain.

Guy’s mouth hangs agape, and he brings his hand to his chest.

Guy: Thou art so unbelievable! Hawaii carries the vibe we art seeking, thus we must chaseth the vibe. Thank goodness, Maisie and I tooketh action. Ev'rything hast been did arrange. At this moment, Maisie is picking up the hot rocks. I wouldst has't gone with h'r, but alas I has't to babysit thee.

Iguana: You mean you actually went through with it?

Guy: Aye.

Iguana: She can’t even understand you these days. How did you two– how did you plan this? I mean you’re an idiot!

Guy resists the urge to slap Iguana. He only manages for a moment.

Iguana: UM, OW?

Guy: Speaketh of the Devil, h're the lady is!

A large, moving truck comes into the backlot. It stops, and dumps thousands of coals in front of Guy and Iguana. Maisie steps out of the truck. Iguana stands shocked, while Guy jives happily.

(Maisie) enters.

Maisie: Hey, besties!

Guy: Salutations.

Iguana leaps over the coals to Maisie. He shakes her violently. Guy follows after Iguana.

Iguana: Maisie, please tell me you didn’t actually get coals all the way from Hawaii! Guy hasn’t been right in the head ever since Fii…I swear, his ideas keep getting crazier.

Maisie: Of course not!

Iguana: Oh, thank God.

Iguana sighs in relief and lets go of Maisie.

Maisie: Nah, I couldn’t go myself. So, I got my cousin to get them. She said she was always looking for an excuse to take a trip down to Ol' Big Island.

Iguana: You’re joking.

Maisie: Why would I joke about a serious situation like this?

Guy, hearing the good news, shoves Iguana to the pavement.

Guy: Thanketh thee so much. I kneweth I couldst trusteth thee. Thou art liketh a sweet angel, I repeateth, a sweet angel. Now the gallant tradition of our ancest'rs shall liveth on!

Masie: I dunno what sweet angel you’re on about, say Iguana what’s he saying?

Iguana gets up. He thinks to himself, “So now she can’t communicate with him, how convenient.”

Iguana: He said thanks for the coals.

Maisie: Awe, you’re welcome, Guy. I’ll do anything to get our new probationary firefighters into shape.

Guy: Aye! Now that we has't all the supplies tis timeth to setteth up the Hawaiian coal test. Iguana, I hest thee to set up those hot rocks.

Iguana: Why me?

Guy: Oth'rwise, I'll bid the Fireth Chief the truth about the apple juice incident—

Iguana: —You took the first sip! If I go down, you’re both coming down with me.

Iguana stands tall, Guy laughs.

Guy: Apologies. I meanteth to sayeth I shall bend the truth— throweth thee und'r the bus as thee English speaketh'rs sayeth.

Guy, and Maisie eye Iguana smugly. Iguana reluctantly submits and organizes the coals.

Maisie: Besides, if you even think of bringing me down, I’ll get Chief sir to make us retake the ladder test. Then, you’ll become my subordinate.

Iguana: Fuck my life…

Guy and Maisie: Language!

Taglist (pls ask to be added/removed): @delusionisaplace

Orange heart divider by @bunnysrph

[deathcomequickly]

The Drowned Halls

[acreaturecalledgreed]

the concept and idea of “you can always start trying to be a better person” is extremely important to me both in media and irl and i continue to be deeply deeply disturbed by the trend on this site pushing that these ideas in media are bad writing or even morally reprehensible

because theyd rather someone stay terrible or just straight up die than become a better person 

from a compassionate point of view it’s deeply distressing and from a pragmatic point of view it’s outright frustrating

it’s fucked up. 

[falliblefabrial]

What is the most important step a man can take?

The next.

[inklesspen]

[babblingfishes]

I think part of the pushback about this is the idea that, to “redeem” bad people, their victims must first forgive them for unforgivable acts.

This is false. No one is obligated to forgive you. You can learn from your mistakes and become the best, kindest person on earth, and the people you’ve hurt still won’t forgive you, and you’ll have to accept that. And that doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to grow. Because we aren’t just “pure” or “sinful”, we’re complex.

[elumish]

I’ve written about this before and won’t rehash the whole thing, but part of what I struggle with is the way redemption stories tend to fall into the broader issue of whose stories do we tell.

This obviously depends a lot on what the arc is about, what world it’s set in, who the characters are, etc. but there is a branch of redemption arc in stories that is about either bigots or people who were involved in real-world atrocities (see: the At Love’s Command controversy). In those cases, given the nature of the redemption arc, the emotional center of the story is that person, and their victims are often either treated as afterthoughts or used as a mechanism to show that the person has finally Become Good.

Of course, a redemption arc or narrative can be about all kinds of things, on all levels of severity. Someone who used to be an asshole to their friends will have a very different type of redemption arc than someone who used to be a fascist, and the writer would have different considerations.

But when you are writing a redemption arc, especially if it’s more the “bigot to not bigot” kind than the “used to do tax fraud” kind, consider these questions:

Is the narrative framing them as more of a victim than the people they hurt?

Do their victims or victim proxies forgive them, and if not, does the narrative imply that they should?

Do their victims appear in the story at all, or do they just exist in the abstract to illustrate the person’s guilt?

Is your goal in writing this specific redemption arc to illustrate that bigots, Nazis, etc. also deserve love?

[lalalalupia]

Love them

[noctivagus-art]

-I will be good. I will be good. I will be good. I will keep Seraph hidden, locked up in my chest, whatever it takes to make sure the Angels never get the weapon they made of me.-

[peachesobviously]

Benji from Hell Followed With Us by Andrew Joseph White

[lalalalupia]

Finish the doomsday yaoi

[luna-azzurra]

Weirdly Healing Things to Do When You’re Feeling Creatively Burned Out...

Write a fake 5-star Goodreads review of your WIP—as if you didn’t write it. Go ahead. Pretend you're a giddy reader who just discovered this masterpiece. Bonus: add emojis, chaotic metaphors, and all-caps screaming. It’s self-indulgent. It’s delusional. It’s delicious.

Give your main character a Pinterest board titled “Mentally Unstable but Aesthetic.” Include outfits, quotes, memes, cursed objects, and that one painting that haunts their dreams. This is not about logic. This is about ✨vibes.✨

Make a “deleted scenes” folder and write something that would never make it into the book. A crackfic. A “what if they were roommates” AU. The group chat from hell. This is your WIP’s blooper reel. Let it be silly, chaotic, or wildly off-brand.

Interview your villain like you’re Oprah. Ask the hard-hitting questions. “When did you know you were the drama?” “Do you regret the murder, or just the way you did it?” Bonus points if they lie to your face.

Host a fake awards show for your characters. Categories like “Most Likely to Die for Vibes,” “Worst Emotional Regulation,” “Himbo Energy Supreme,” or “Best Use of a Dramatic Exit.” Write their acceptance speeches. Yes, this counts as writing.

Write a breakup letter… to your inner critic. Be petty. Be dramatic. “Dear Self-Doubt, this isn’t working for me anymore. You bring nothing to the table but anxiety and bad vibes.” Rip it up. Burn it. Tape it to your mirror. Your call.

Create a “writing comfort kit” like you’re a cozy witch. A candle that smells like your WIP. A tea that your characters would drink. A playlist labeled “for writing when I’m one rejection email away from giving up.” This is a ritual now.

Design a fake movie poster or book cover like your story is already famous. Add star ratings, critic quotes, and some pretentious tagline like “One soul. One destiny. No chill.”

Write a scene you’re not ready to write—but just a rough, messy outline version. Not the polished thing. Just the raw emotion. The shape of it. Like sketching the bones of a future punch to the gut. You don’t have to make it perfect. Just open the door.

Let your story be bad on purpose for a day. Like, aggressively bad. Give everyone ridiculous names. Add an evil talking cat. Write a fight scene with laser swords and emotional damage. Just remind yourself that stories are meant to be played with, not feared.

[sparrowlucero]

genuinely find it fascinating how much fantasy writing discussion/advice online is centered around the struggle of making a dndish/tolkien rip off fantasy world stand out and feel different than the others, and regularly comes to the conclusion that to succeed at this you should focus even harder on realistically detailing the cultures of the elves/humans/orcs/dwarves/whatever random group of fantasy races are hanging around (the thing most of these projects already massively focus on) in the hopes that yours is simply the most vivid and evocative ever, as opposed to, like, just writing anything else

[raemanzu]

sorry @tearlessrain I have to share your tags they're just so good

#look the whole reason tolkien and other fantasy writers of his caliber are so well received is that they were doing something they loved#tolkien had multiple detailed conlangs because he was really into linguistics#he wrote about the themes he did because they were important to him#so find something you love and write that instead of trying to write like someone else#if you want to build a complicated fantasy world build it around your interests#if you're into astronomy than draw up star charts and write a whole history of your world that highlights the significance of them#if you're really into the history of textiles then use that to add flavor to the cultures and characters#you gotta fall in love with the thing you're making at least a little bit that's the key