atsushi is quiet for a moment, gaze watching the river’s water as the evening sunset reflects off of the gently flowing surface. the rich, vibrant color of orange, reds and purples is calming, warm – a reminder that they had better days now that were much different from those of the past. dazai-san had been right – had they not encountered each other, he surely would not be here; who knows whether he would have taken his own life. ( deep down, he knows he would have – he had nothing to live for, no reason to live before the agency. he wondered if the same was true for kyouka. )
“no.” his response is clear, firm – it’s genuine in its honesty. for once, he didn’t feel as if he had to lie, that he could trust her. he had never been truthful with himself, always denied his turmoil and warring emotions as trivial. perhaps his open honesty was too much now, given at any glimmer of hope that he could change the outlook of others, open their eyes to the countless possibilities before them; that there was a way to live, a reason, no matter how small or trivial it may be. a quiet smile passes over his features, yet it doesn’t reach his eyes. for a moment, he’s a crowded soul within the shell of who he used to be – lost and vulnerable, without anyone to turn to or anywhere to go, wandering aimlessly.
his weight leans onto one hand as the other lifts, self-consciously brushing his uneven, choppy hair, carding through it. despite the gentle warmth lingering from the day, there’s a cold shiver down his spine – a single thread of anxiety winding its way around his throat. his gaze is averted, unable to meet kyouka’s as he continues, with a little hesitation; this is a different kind of vulnerability he’s unsure of, wanting to flee, but also tentatively step into shallow waters of reaching out and trusting her with this. “i’m not sure where i would be if the agency hadn’t offered me the opportunity they did…” a pause, gaze flicking briefly to her, carefully watching her expression. “it gave me a chance to start over and be given a second chance…like you were.”
kyouka remained silent as he spoke; blue eyes focused on the orange tinge of the sun sparkling across rushing waters. a warm breeze blew by -- ruffling ink colored locks and her crimson kimono. it briefly made her think of the bodies she had watched fall beneath her blade ... the way hair would splay across the floor and red splatters of blood slowly fell through the air ...
it took her a few seconds to snap herself out of the thought, feeling a mild pain through her fingers. she would glance down to find her hands clenched into small, tense fists -- tight enough to where her knuckles turned white and a lingering cramp took time to fade from her fingers. a second chance. it was something she thought of often whenever she would look at atsushi -- her savior. her light.
` ... ` kyouka’s own anxiety fluttered through her, wrapping cold ribbons around her heart and squeezing it slightly. she knew she shouldn’t have felt it. after all, she had changed so much from that emotionless assassin. she was experiencing life as it should be -- spending her time as a ( almost normal ) teenage girl. a soft sigh would soon slip out, keeping her gaze focused on the sunset; the river -- anywhere, but those familiar eyes.
` ... Are you ... happy you gave me a second chance? `
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