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"It scared me out of my wits. A corpse falling to bits. Then I opened my eyes and the nightmare was me!" Good Omens Lucifer OC roleplay | semi selective | following from @clovers-rp-blogs Rules | About

[clovers-rp-blogs]

An important notice: Leaving the Community.

A lot can change in a year. Over these days I’m noticing that I don’t like rp-ing as much as I used to. I don’t think I’ve really succeeded in completing many threads, either, and my style just doesn’t suit rping. So therefore I’m leaving the rp community.

My current threads will be solved via DM discussion, though if you want to still continue them you’re welcome to continue them in Discord DMs. Current people I have threads with, feel free to message me.

I still want to keep in contact with people though! My Discord is Clover the Grand#7666. Fandom blog and twitter’s @cloverthegrand.

Thank you for all the memories, everyone! 💖May we meet again!

- Clover 🍀 

[carpe-lumxn]

collidingxworlds​:

Lucifer’s flat out refusal of his accidental offer caused Crowley to let go of the breath he hadn’t known he was holding. Good, the Devil didn’t seem to have been struck by the same idea that had popped in his mind. The last thing he wanted was to find himself forced to turn down a job that he had tailored on himself without really meaning to. It would have been a lost battle and he had no doubt that she would have found a way to make him accept the position.

For once, the fact that the Ruler of Hell seemed to be blind to certain suggestions merely because they went against one of her unshakable beliefs had played in his favour, instead of annoying the heaven out of him.

“Whatever works for you,” he simply replied, with a dismissive shrug. Yet another thorny subject that had been effectively dropped. If they went on like that, soon enough they would be back to discussing Crowley’s shitty relationships with horses, of every species, and nothing else. Safe, easier subjects.

The hint of satisfaction that had started to bloom in his chest, however, was short-lived and was quickly replaced by astonishment.

“Why is everyone in the Pit changing names and pronouns so often?” He complained with a groan, reaching out to pinch the bridge of his nose. He wasn’t really addressing Lucifer, but more talking to himself. “It’s been just a couple of centuries!” Give or take. Most likely a bit longer. “Alright, a few centuries. Less than a millennia for sure. How is it that the stuff that needs changing never does and everything else keeps on doing it?”

He grumbled something else under his breath, his voice so low that it wasn’t intelligible. That was what happened when you were left out of the rumours mill and ended up depending strictly on the official communications.

“I…Ngk. Good for them, I guess. Looks like I worried for nothing,” he added, after a few moments of brooding silence. “And thanks, but no thanks. I don’t need Legion to explain me how it works. I think I got what I need to know figured out already. And I’d rather not make a fool of myself by explaining why exactly I’m suddenly so interested in how the hordes work. You can guess the reason.”

They were back to him wanting to avoid becoming Hell’s laughing stock once again. He was already enemy number one, or something of the sort. He would have preferred not adding his old title as the Pit’s joke to his new denomination.

Lucifer’s litte outburst in response to his proposition almost had the demon rolling his eyes, even despite the harshness in the Devil’s loud tone. How was he supposed to know what sort of cure Tyr was after? He didn’t even know the details concerning his injuries.

“I have my ways,” he claimed, remaining as vague as possible. He wouldn’t have confessed that said ways of his were sweet-talking Aziraphale until he managed to convince the angel to help out. “So, fine, not pills or an ointment or whatever. What is it, exactly, that she needs? One of the Healers from Upstairs? Are you telling me that they bothered to make machines that we need more than they’ll ever do?”

He didn’t know about new corporations, but he was pretty sure that he could have found some equivalent of whatever surgery and physical therapy was needed on Earth. And, while Aziraphale was no Healer, he was still an angel he had on speed dial. He surely knew the basics of what they might have needed, right? Just as Crowley knew enough of demonic physiology to take care of himself in the case he was injured.

“And I don’t know, I’d trust a human surgeon more than any angel with a scalpel or whatever in their hands. Medicine has made literal miracles on Earth in the last thirty years or so.”

He raised his hand, before the Ruler of Hell could retort, not wanting to give her the space to hiss at him again. “But fine. If you think it wouldn’t work, just forget I ever mentioned it.”

He was biting down more than he could chew and he could recognise it. However, he was also tempted to make an ironic joke about how snakes were able to swallow meals that were far larger than their bodies too.

Instead, he tilted his head on one side, eyes narrowing behind the dark lenses of his glasses. “What…What are you trying to say there? That I start with offering Verrine the benefit of doubt to set a precedent that might benefit me in the future?” He saw the logic behind it, but he didn’t like the idea in the least. “I mean, I get the whole ‘your former colleagues have no reasons to believe you just as you are reluctant to accept Verrine’s change’ thing you’re spinning there. But why do I have to start with Verrine? Can’t it be someone I have…uh, less gruesome history with? Also because I’m hardly a secret-less demon, I’ll have you know.”

Starting with the little trick he and Aziraphale had pulled after Armageddoff, but there was much more.

Three weeks. That was an awfully long time not to take care of such an unruly mane. And he knew that from experience. No wonder the Hellhorse was so moody and not happy about having hands in her hair.

“Shoo,” he ordered, batting Lucifer’s talons away from the beast. He might be a disaster with horses, but he knew how to handle that sort of knots. “You need the right stuff to deal with all that. The comb isn’t going to be enough.” His gaze moved on Sirocco. “Be still? Please? If not, you’ll make it difficult on yourself too.”

He waited for the Hellhorse to offer some sort of response and then conjured an inconspicuous bottle that turned out to be some sort of cream. He spread it all over his fingers with practised ease before starting to gently apply it on the mane, being overly generous in the spots where the tangles were thicker. Only then he accepted the new comb and began working on the hair, starting from the bottom.

“If this is how you keep her mane, I’m starting to understand why this damn horse is so moody!”

"Names, pronouns... we’re not tied by our old identities anymore. But if it works, it works, y’know."

The plan to slowly get Crowley attached to his kind was not working as well. Despite Lucifer’s attempts to get by his pragmatic side, he just didn’t seem interested. By now Lucifer’s patience was wearing a little thin. A cigarette appeared between Lucifer's talons, which Sirocco immediately yanked out with her teeth and stamped on. 

Crowley rolling his eyes at Lucifer’s warning. did sting. A lot. "Yikes. Touchy much? I was just warning you why you shouldn’t go upstairs.

“Your own ways. Okay.

“Tyr needs surgery on her true form. And she’ll need to take whatever medicine Heaven’s got up there to stabilise it.”  A beat. "Hell's doctors work with literal garbage. And the quality of Heaven's material is akin to what was made for creation. Of course we’re gonna want that. But... we got to make Heaven’s healers cooperate with us somehow, because Heaven’s equipment and techniques are lightyears ahead of ours.”

When Crowley suggested using a human surgeon, Lucifer made a confundled expression as if Crowley suggested asking a car mechanic to perform brain injury. "What? No. That's chalk and cheese. The true form. Our souls? Last time I’ve checked, humans don’t know how to physically heal souls yet." She sighed. “You worship those humans too much... don’t you ever feel like you’re becoming too detached from your kind?”

She wasn’t surprised that Crowley wouldn’t want to talk to Verrine. “That's fine.” Lucifer then shot Crowley a look. “You sure have high standards with relationships. I don’t anymore. If you set your standards too high? In a place full of criminals? You don't get far. You're lucky to last one year.”

Lucifer made a scandalised gasp when Crowley swatted her talon away. Then she gazed curiously at the bottle. “What are you...” She was about point out that Sirocco wouldn’t like that human lotion Crowley conjured up. However Sirocco nodded at Crowley’s polite request and accepted the lotion, pushing her scalp close to his fingers. 

Lucifer petted her hellhorse’s muzzle. She found the motion calming. 

“I don’t,” she replied. “I always find time every 3 days, usually. And she sleeps while waiting for me in between.” She drew in a deep breath, then leaned onto Sirocco. “I’ve been working very hard, y’know, so I didn’t have that much time.” Lucifer fiddled with her talon. Crowley did not appreciate Armageddon happening. So how could she frame this to appeal to his sensibilities? “If... I step away, i-it’ll become more of a cussing mess down there. And you’ve heard my promise! I wanted Armageddon so angels would finally respect us and let us use their medical supplies and doctors. Now that that didn’t happen... well. I gotta clean the mess up. Calm everyone down.

“Mostly what I do with everyone is just... talk. Try to understand them. So I’m not just this high-horsed ruler that don’t know what I’m talking about. And I’m just as frustrated as the rest of them.” A blink at Crowley. “This is what this is. Talk, so I could try to understand your point of view.”

[carpe-lumxn]

collidingxworlds​:

Crowley raised an eyebrow, but didn’t reply. It was a rhetorical question and Lucifer had answered it on her own in any case. Besides, he had chosen humans over both Hell and Heaven, over both the Morningstar and God. His actions spoke louder than any word could ever had.

When the Devil pressed on the matter of his friendship with Aziraphale, however, the Serpent couldn’t help groaning and reaching out to pinch the bridge of his nose. Why, why, why. He didn’t know why. It was just the way things were between the two of them. Crowley had the tendency to be paranoid by nature, and yet he had never felt defensive around that particular angel. Not even when they had met for the first time at the top of Eden’s walls.

Perhaps it had been because the kindness that Aziraphale had showed him, covering him with his wings when the rain had started to fall. Maybe it was because how different he had acted, compared to all the other angels he had met. He had been so down-to-earth, he hadn’t jumped to conclusions or judged him, even if he had disrespectfully disagree with his views.

Perhaps it had been because, instead of starting a fight as they might have supposed to do, they had simply stood next to each other, watching the humans, and they had kept doing that for the next six thousands years.

“I don’t know, alright? We just…understand each other. Even when we don’t. Maybe it’s because we are different from most demons and angels,” he eventually replied, with a shrug. “And…Well, we have in common our time with the humans and on Earth and that gives us more common ground than any other demon has with any other angel.”

That was true enough. Their…quirks were far more substantial than the ones of most of their colleagues.

“And Aziraphale is just…not that sort of being, you know? He doesn’t stab people in the back. Heavens, he doesn’t even curse. It’s ridiculous how much he struggles to come up with the mildest words possible he can use in place of insults and swears.”

At Lucifer’s angry warning, the Serpent hurried to lift his arms and show her his palms. “Apologies. I forgot that…uh, I can’t say that sort of things around you. Centuries of openly discussing biblical matters with an angel and you kind of forget that there are some beings who literally can’t stand to hear certain words.”

It was one of the reasons why, all considered, he was glad that he had never advanced much in the ranks of Hell. He had been spared a lot of inconveniences that would have been an issue for his duties on Earth. The burn of holy ground had already been enough of a pain in his neck in a few occasions.

He remained quiet for a moment, listening to Lucifer’s explanation, twirling the nail polish bottle in his hands.

“She broke her own rules and got away with it as easily as possible. That’s it, right? That’s what makes you so angry. She did that, while when we brought forwards our doubts and protests, She literally sent us to Hell.” Bad pun, but he couldn’t help himself. “I get it. It sucks. Royally. But we’ve known that the game was rigged since the very start, haven’t we? Even before we were kicked out…It was one of the complaints some of us brought forward.”

Angels hadn’t been supposed to have free will. They hadn’t been supposed to have doubts and give voice to them. They hadn’t been supposed to disobey and act on their own volition. That was a privilege that should have been reserved to God and, later, in a different way, to humans.

And yet, at the same time, they too had been given the potential for free will. They had been given a choice. And when they time had come, each of them had made it. For many of them it had been to bow their heads and hold onto their faith. For the soon-to-be Fallen, well. They had decided that it was “better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven”.

“Can’t we? Then how do you explain all the stuff I did that can’t definitely be labelled as ‘bad’? And, before you say it, it didn’t have devastating consequences later on. Not for me, not for the people I helped,” Crowley argued, crossing his arms on his chest. “Sure, maybe we can’t do huge miracles and the sort of grand gestures angels pull off from time to time, but we can do very small good deeds. Just as angels can do very small bad deeds.”

He and Aziraphale had exchanged job a few times, when it had been convenient, but Lucifer didn’t need to know that.

“And that ties to what you just said. We’re not passive. But adapting isn’t all we can do. We can bend the rules, at least in part. That’s how I go around it. Find the wrong reasons to do good things when I want to. And…let myself resist my bad urges a bit less after that.” He waved a hand. “Balance. I end up standing more or less where I started.”

It was far more complicated than that, but he wouldn’t have known how else to explain it.

“And it’s not like angels started the French Revolution on purpose. Or fuelled the Inquisition. The humans twisted the ideas that had been given them. They can escalated everything,” he went on, his lips curling in a frown. “I mean, picture this. One day you happen to share a shot of liquor with some disgraced painter and listen to him lamenting about the woes of his life, and you’re in a decent mood, so you pat his back and tell him that he should use his wits and show the jerks who’ve been belittling him all his life Hell, ‘cause there’s nothing more dangerous than a smart man who hates with a clear mind. You don’t expect him to go mad with ambition and to start a worldwide war, right?”

 she was gonna sound like… what was that phrase? A broken radio. She could say ‘oh all that friendship’s gonna bite you back’… but the evidence was clear as day. The years had passed, and nothing happened. If anything, those years seemed to bring Crowley and the angel closer together. 

“So you care for each other. Unconditionally. Is he your other half? Couldn’t live without the other?” Lucifer couldn’t help sneering those last words as if they were filthy swears. Unconditional love was stupid and naive, and surrenders yourself into the arms of someone else. It was really envy. Once... Lucifer dreamt of retiring and living on a completed Earth with Michael. But that never happened, did it? Michael and her army threw Lucifer out of Heaven for Yahweh, and the rebels too, and Lucifer had to pick up the pieces. 

What the serpent said about Yahweh being unjust was all true, and hit a nerve too deep. Lucifer put up a face that looked pensive that she defaulted to. But the serpent was gonna notice how unnaturally still she looked, so she needed to find him a distraction. Her eyes fell onto the brush and the remaining two claws that still needed to be painted. 

“You gonna keep on twirling that brush?” She asked, then tapped one of her unpainted claws. 

If Crowley brushed her claws, Lucifer would look away, rest her face muscles, and keep that same composure. She wasn’t gonna have her composure break, no. She wasn’t a wimp. Lucifer did pull up a half smirk at Crowley’s attempt at making some wordplay however. Then she furrowed her brow at Crowley saying how the game had always been rigged. She exhaled, blowing out a gust of cigarette smoke. “I’m gonna say it one last time: things can be better. Even for you. And I still think you’re making the wrong choice. But... while can lead a horse to water, you can’t make them drink.” Lucifer wasn’t gonna give up, no. There was a way to convince Crowley with another path, she just needed to find it. “Sooner or later though, that steed’s gonna feel thirsty.”

Lucifer had a feeling Crowley’s liking for this Earth was deliberate, so there could always be someone objecting to what needed to be done. That was fine. Obstacles made by Yahweh were just more work. These days, most other Princes didn’t even visit Earth often anymore, since they could be so easily hurt against mundane things. She’ll just keep fighting. Lucifer didn’t care that the game was rigged against her. She’ll just keep on doing what she had always done. Work harder. And it’ll pay off. Lucifer looked up at the ceiling. “One day,” she vowed. “One day, Hell and I are gonna get upstairs and take Her down once and for all.”

There was a doubt in Crowley’s eyes at Lucifer’s question about what he would’ve done on the other Side. Yes. Some demons... had noted Lucifer to be badly knowledged about temptation. She mostly ran the bureaucracy side of Hell and provided as morale for demons to keep on tempting and make progress. Same as her old job... she wasn’t an artist. But Lucifer made sure the artists had lots of guidance. What mattered was that fruitful results were made. What mattered was that the resources they had were made useful. Maybe... the fruitful result was more sin, but that was fine, it was ugly work, but she could just... tough through it. Wasn’t like sin didn’t already exist in humans. 

Lucifer’s face soured when Crowley recounted that story with Hitler. “In some circumstances, the smallest things tip them off. But you know what? I bet the humans would have done whatever they did even without our involvement. If you did that to another disgraced painter, would that painter do the same thing?” “Exactly. All that... it’s premeditated. The pieces were already there, arranged by their circumstances, and those humans’ actions are the product. 

“Why are you mentioning angels and bad deeds? How do you know angels do that?” Lucifer’s lips pursed. “You and that angel swapped jobs, didn’t you!” She growled. “That’s it. That must be why you and Aziraphale are immune, isn’t it? Aziraphale sinning you blessing must’ve made youse nutcases built up tolerance!” “What you gave him... was confidential information!” Lucifer bared her teeth and growled. “How much does he know?” She then pursed her lips, then rubbed her temple. “Let me guess. He was too separated from Heaven to ever report whatever you leaked, so it doesn’t matter anyway?“

[clovers-rp-blogs]

i think i heard someone message me but the message didnt come through. If that’s you, feel free to send it again!

[wickedmlm]

Monsters are not gentle. That is what you have been told, and to a certain degree, it holds true. Rough claws, rough voice, a rough-around-the-edges personality. But that doesn’t mean monsters cannot be safe, cannot be kind. Gentleness and kindness are not one and the same. Monsters can be viciously kind, monsters can be violently safe. Gentleness is not a requirement for love.

[carpe-lumxn]

collidingxworlds​:

Crowley eyed Sirocco warily as the Hellhorse started to look agitated once again. Great, he had upset the beast too. He couldn’t be blamed, though, not completely at least. Lucifer had forced him to trudge through one thorny subject after the other and there was only so much he could do to keep his cool. The mention of certain events and subjects made him skittish on principle.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” he muttered, not really sure if he was addressing the animal or the Devil. Both perhaps.

He didn’t comment when the Ruler of Hell offered to never touch that particular matter again, giving just a nod in reply. Speaking another word about it, even if just to agree or thank Lucifer for the touch she had shown, which was kind of weird per se, would have meant dragging that part of the conversation on. Simply dropping it was a much more appealing option.

“I’m not saying that you must believe to everyone’s words. We’re demons, for G-…uh, Sa…somebody’s sake! We eat up lies for breakfast and spit them out with every breath!” He argued instead, with a huff, crossing his arms on his chest to stop himself from throwing his hands in the hair. He had the feeling that Sirocco wouldn’t have appreciated it if he had. “Fear and force and deceit is how you rank up in Hell. Even I know that. It’s always been that way. Still is for most of us. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t take those reports into account and…have someone looking into them? To see if they are real or if it’s just some idiot’s dirty trick to gain a promotion.”

Maybe it was easier to be said than to be done, but it wasn’t impossible, was it? The most difficult part was finding someone who could have got the job done. Clearly Lucifer couldn’t handle it in first person, for several reasons. She would have needed someone who was super partes, who knew how Hell’s ticked but wasn’t involved in its struggle for power, who was witty and capable enough to conduct the investigations subtly and without causing a public scandal.

…Someone like him.

The Serpent’s eyes went comically wide and he shook his head at himself. No, no, no. That was one thought he had got and that he had to forget immediately. He hadn’t literally gone through the End of Times and back to cut his ties with his former job just to walk right back into that steaming mess. Hopefully, the Devil wouldn’t have reached his same conclusions.

“I’m not talking about Legion, Lucifer,” he hurried to say, perhaps with a bit too much force and a bit too much in a hurry. “I know what they are. I meant the Erics. Those guys are basically everyone punching balls! Whenever a higher ranked demons has some steam to blow out, most of the times they take it out on them, for the mere reason that they can do it without needing a reason. How’s that a good thing?!”

He did feel bad for them, a little bit. Mostly it was because he had found himself in their shoes more than once…discorporation and death bits aside, of course. However, he had never stepped in, for obvious reasons. Empathy wasn’t a good trait to show in Hell. On the contrary, displaying it meant asking for troubles.

Crowley’s lips pursed at the thought, but then his expression became contemplative as Lucifer explained what Tyr’s deal was. Chronic wounds were a real pain to deal with, in every sense of the term. He couldn’t blame her for having a grudge against Heaven and against the fact that he and Aziraphale had thrashed her chance at getting the remedy she needed. Though, there might have been another way to go around that…

“What if I got her that medicine?” He asked after a moment of consideration. His tone was hesitant, betraying the fact that he wasn’t sure that he could have pulled it off, but he was ready to try. Convincing the angel to help would have taken quite the effort. “Or, better, if I got you that medicine, so you can use it as a way to get her back on your side? Because, let’s be honest, the ideas we’re discussing might be mine, but I’m an outcast. A traitor. No one will listen to me, damn, they’ll probably try to kill me on sight if I don’t have someone powerful to vouch for me.”

And who held more power than the Ruler of Hell herself?

The news of Verrine’s punishment was news to the Serpent and, while it was good to hear that at least one jerk had got what they deserved, it didn’t really make him feel better about the whole ordeal.

“…I’d still like to keep them at distance anyway, reformed or not. As you said, I can’t let my secret be discovered. I need my immunity with most of the Pit still after my sorry broken halo.”

Despite the flat tone he had used to speak those words, he couldn’t stop his fingers from shaking slightly as he started to work on Sirocco’s main, doing his best to follow Lucifer’s instruction as he untangled the bigger knots. He was sure that the Devil took good care of her Hellhorse, but…he would have lied if he had said that the animal was long overdue for a round of brushing up, considering the state of her hair. It was turning inot a literal bush.

“Uh, does she go pretty crazy while running around?” He risked asking, shooting the Devil a quick glance. “Because…She had so many knots. Damn, not even my hair back in Mesopotamia got this messy.”

To Lucifer all conversations were to be solved and debated. There was something about passively existing and doing nothing that disturbed her. Staying silent, doing nothing... to her it was proving that you were guilty. 

Course... Crowley’s argument that everyone in Hell lied to each other struck a nerve. And... Lucifer did stay silent, like a deer frozen in headlights. Slowly, she looked away. Lucifer scrunched the paper and squeezed it until it disappeared. In the beginning, Lucifer was... naive. Trusted everyone. Lots of them were desperate to trust each other, and some preyed on that. And that conked everything up. Yeah, conked. Use a funny word and downplay the pain all the lying caused, won’t you? She wasn't gullible. Not anymore. And lamenting about the past was useless. 

When Crowley suggested a someone to check the facts, Lucifer blinked, then resumed to a neutral face. This was more familiar. "No thank you. One thing I've learnt living on this Yahweh-forsaken planet, you can only rely on yourself. Whatever others say are just suggestions." She said it on autopilot, and didn’t check whether that’d be contradictory. Of course, Crowley’s implication to be that demon also completely flew over her head. 

She relaxed a little more when the topic changed, though Lucifer bristled at how Crowley assumed the Erics were somehow suffering. Pain was a part of a demon’s life, and that was unavoidable. "Yeah. Legion. The Erics also go by Legion. What, did someone else take that name? Anyway. The Erics offered to take the job, he had an advantage, so we gave it to him. He can quit them anytime, lots of Lords are looking to hire him. But he doesn’t. Discorporation doesn’t bother him that much. Eric used to hoard spare bodies Upstairs so when he fell, he’s cursed to multiply forever. He’s fine with that story being shared, by the way. Discorporation doesn’t bother you anymore after the first hundred times. I reckon that’s the same for him. Like I said, you wanna ask him for more details? You’re welcome to.”

Lucifer got to admit, that offer to sneak up to Heaven did make her take a second look. "W-what, you gonna skedaddle into Hhheaven and sneak out with the cure?" Her voice started to rumble with a reptilian timbre from confusion. But there was Holy water... right. She pinched the bridge of her nose. Lucifer had been patient so far, but the offer was wearing it thin. "The cure's not just in a bottle of pills somewhere!” She scolded. “Equipment, physical therapy, corporations truly made from scratch... and surgeries-! You may think you can waltz in with your fancy immunity. But Holy fire doesn’t care which side you’re on. I-it hurts your true form! You get stabbed by a Holy fire sword? You carry the wound for the rest of your life!" She knew the pain of a Holy fire wound too intimately. It was the highest Lucifer had raised her voice in front of Crowley so far. Even Sirocco flinched a little. 

When Crowley continued, Lucifer’s fire faltered. Doing her a favour so demons will get on her good side. Nothing new. She waved her talon. "No need to grovel me. Tyr is never going to forgive me, even after she’s healed, even after I die, and I've accepted that." At the word ‘immunity’ Lucifer looked up. “If it’s just me pardoning you, it ain’t gonna work. The Pit’s got to decide.” Yes. After everything demons have been through, it was difficult to regain trust. Impossible-feeling, sometimes. Sometimes Lucifer felt she had to split herself to the core and show it off to prove her innocence.

Lucifer nodded at Crowley’s reasoning. “That’s understandable.” Let’s see... how could she turn this around? Lucifer connected it to how Hell wouldn’t trust Crowley easily. “Yeah, like that. Even if Verrine did all that business, you’re not gonna forgive them because that’s for yourself to decide. Same with you and the Pit. We’re all skeptical of each other. Just like how you’re gonna be suspicious if Verrine right now did something for you, with your offer the Pit’s just gonna think that you’re in it for self gain.” She cocked her head. “You want Hell to trust you again? Think... letting others get to know you and judge your character for themselves. Nothing to hide? Nothing to be afraid of. Foolproof.”

Aaaand now back to the other getting to know her character activity. Lucifer appreciated that Crowley was being diligent. Sirocco even smacked her lips in relaxation, happy to have someone grovelling beneath her hoof. “Yes, like that. More tangles than usual? Use this one first.” Lucifer then passed Crowley a comb with wider teeth. “The hairs fly everywhere, so that tangles...” but a second look at Sirocco’s mane made her stop. It was tangled more than usual. Has it been that long? It would concern Crowley too much if she said the truth. 

"Bah. Not that long...- HRKEHNG-!" Sirocco stamped her foot with her hoof, and a dinosaur-like cry came out between her clenched teeth. "3..." fortnights, she realised. "Days." Sirocco glared at her, and she glared back. “Weeks.” She... had been busy sorting out Hell’s problems ever since Armageddon failed. 

[carpe-lumxn]

paradiseturnedhell​:

“Our Earth is several million years old”, Nick said, “Humans are a footnote in comparison to that. And yes, I miss the time before humanity arrived on the scene. I miss the time, before God conceived that stupid elitist garden called Eden. I miss the time, when beliefs didn’t exist and the world ran by the rules of nature and ecosystems. I miss the time, when life developed and tried out all sorts of things. I miss the time, when all you had to know was your designing principle and the world was alright.”

Nick said: “In my world, sabotages do occur normally among two demons. We don’t call that sabotage, because it usually just means two demons picked the same target accidentally. We don’t really intervene in these moments, because demons have to fight among themselves to decide, who gets that picking. Usually it resolves itself. Other then that, I can telepathically communicate with every denizen of Hell. In extreme cases, I can even control them if need be. And well, I do not really have to worry about uprisings, because I would kill the individual offender. A fact, all demons are accutely aware off. Besides they know I can afford to not be present for years on end. So yeah, you’d have to be pretty insane trying to usurp me.”

“I don’t know”, Nick said, “And I don’t care to find out. It already is enough of a hassle to haggle with Gabriel as to whether a soul goes to Purgatory or Heaven. I seriously do not care what the souls in Heaven get for a treatment. I imagine it’s quite nice. Purgatory definitely provides for people with food, drink and shelter. Mind you, it is boring as fuck. You are more or less isolated from everybody else. If you are lucky and you walk long enough, you might find somebody else.”

Nick inspected the summoned skeletton hologram. Listening to Lucifer, he gave a hum of agreement. “Our humans have the same problems. Add to that sponatneous mutations and you have a platera of problems. And well, they evolved from ancient primates. Gosh, I miss the time, when they were not yet fully evolved and got bodied by the millions. Mind you, seeing them evolve and became cleverer over the millenia was fascinating. I do not mind these humans. I mind the ones, which came with Adam and Eve. They didn’t evolve. They were just created. Why should I respect something, that never had to prove itself?”

“That sounds like a very natural way of living. Fighting among yourselves, making a pecking order. You like that environment?”

Lucifer poker faced her current face at the message that Nick killed his competitors. But really, she felt like grovelling to not get on his bad side. It was what she did when she was nervous. “Props on you for taking matters into your own hands. Gotta send off a message. Can’t ever satisfy a mob unless someone dies. We can pretend to be civilised all we want. But inside? We're all damn animals."

There... was some truth to that last bit. Sometimes she despised how Hell’s demons just want to tear each other apart. Mind control... she could do that, but only with the power of the 6 other Princes. And she knew from experience that using other demons like puppets simply made them angrier. That, and maybe, just maybe, there was the fact of taking other demons’ autonomy away that unnerved her. 

Instead, Lucifer focused on an easier topic. Humans. “Even with a so-called perfect design, modern humans still have so much problems?” Lucifer exhaled out of her nostrils, blowing out smoke. “Speaks for itself. You can polish a turd all you want and claim it’s art, but it’s still a turd.” A beat. 

“Frankly, I find it hilarious how both our Yahweh’s claim that these humans ‘are gonna accomplish great things with everything to support them’ but they don’t even bother checking whether their health would fail or not. Like cancer, for example. I remember when I first heard about it in the 40s. Didn’t even know what it was. Because... cells mutating and multiplying uncontrollably? To the point of killing the host? That was never meant to happen. On my end,” she quickly corrected. 

“But is that natural in yours? If gene problems still exist in humans on your end, despite Adam and Eve freshening up the gene pool... well, the plan to make modern humans flawless sure as Heaven failed.”

[carpe-lumxn]

the-perfect-scientist​:

Carlos pressed his lips together in an awkward sort of smile. “I figured the Book lost some of it’s content or it was changed - it had been translated and abridged so many times, I highly doubt it’s anything like it was in its entirety,“ he said. “But… I thought the ‘Eldritch angels’ thing was lore that had recently cropped up by biblical fantasy fans based off of old Catholic writings.” But what did he know - he never claimed to be a Bible expert.

He sighed, trying to come up with a way to explain to the Adversary what he meant. “The theory isn’t a flat-earth thing,” he murmured. “It’s… I just mean that maybe we’re in some kind of pocket dimension. Just… a place in space that’s stretched out to encompass a few desert towns and where observable elements don’t make sense to the physics of normal space. Things like gravity and time and… whatever the hel- uh, heck happened with the sun.

“But I don’t know how this all happened or what’s behind it. I’ve just been drawing my theories from reports from citizens and the nature of Town Hall and other… beings in a position of power.”

He had calmed down some; talking about theories he had been developing made him feel a bit more at ease. But he still felt anxious about his continued existence, despite the other’s questions.

Lucifer shrugged. "Big world. Folks always tell their version of a story."

However she was much more interested in the scientist's explanation, to which Lucifer listened diligently. A pocket dimension... not only was this town in it, but also a few others.

"Hmm... Town Hall... so is this Town Hall this town’s seat of power?”

This might be it. If the scientist was right, whatever rogue Seraphim may be posing as humans to get whatever they wanted. Then she could edit the scientist’s memory, lock this encounter away until she’ll need him understand the context again, and be on her way. 

[carpe-lumxn]

collidingxworlds​:

The Flood helped no one.

Crowley couldn’t help thinking that truer words had never been spoken in his presence. The massacre had been pointless, uncalled for, cruel beyond words. He hadn’t pressed his doubts on Aziraphale, neither back then nor in the following centuries, but there had been times when, looking back at him, he had been filled with bitter envy. He had almost wished that he could have the same faith the Principality had in God’s design, that he could believe that everything happened for a reason, at the end of the day.

Almost. Because faith could be blind and mindless, and those were two things the Serpent had never been, even when she should have for his own sake.

Lucifer’s voice cut through his thoughts, snapping him back to the present. She was doing it again, offering support and comfort, and once again he found that he had no idea of how to feel about it.

“I…I know, I know. I took a trip Downstairs and…uh, checked,” he admitted, smoothing his ginger hair with a hand. He might or might have not snuggle out a couple of souls that, in his eyes, didn’t really belong in Hell while he was at it, but that was something the Devil didn’t need to know. After all, the Pit’s bureaucracy was such a mess that reports and even souls got lost from time to time. “Which is…a good thing. But it doesn’t change that it shouldn’t have happened at all.”

At the Devil’s comment on angel-demon relationships, Crowley made a show of rolling his eyes, his confidence returning. Now, that was one fact he didn’t have doubts or regrets on, which meant he could have used that part of the conversation to steady himself.

“Yes, others might have. Me and the angel? I think by now both Heaven and Hell know that we are…ah, unconventional. Under a lot of points of view.”

It was a reference not just to their supposed-to-be immunity to holy water and hellfire, but also to how they had chosen their own side over what should have been their only options when it had mattered. Not to mention all the rest, all the small, peculiar details that made their relationship unique.

“I don’t know if this could clarify something for you, but…he’s my best friend. That’s one good way to look at it.”

They were friends, it wasn’t a lie. However, at the same time, the term was a bit too reductive to describe what they had.

Biting back a sigh, the Serpent slouched against the couch. “I mean…I’m not mad to have been given that assignment. I was the right demon for the job. And it gave me a chance to chat with Him and sate my curiosity a little,” he mused then, after a moment of silence. “And showing the world was like…showing him what he was giving up, had he chosen to do what She was asking from Him. In the end…It was His choice. Something along the lines of being willing to sacrifice himself so that others could keep seeing the beauty of the world.”

He would have never admitted it, but standing in Jesus’s presence had made him squirm a little in some moments. He had been so calm and collected despite the deadly burden hanging above his head. That sort of acceptance had both spooked Crowley and made him a bit envious. Peace of mind was something a demon could never truly know.

“And…I guess I do? He was so full of promises!” He went on, raising an eyebrow as Lucifer started to get worked up on the subject. “Why are you so upset about His Resurrection? I mean, yeah, it went against the Rules and all, but come on. That’s hardly the worst trick Above has played during history, don’t you agree? And he brought some hope back in the world, just as he had wished to do, so…Not that bad. Even if, of bloody course, things went to shit a couple of centuries later.”

He made to reach out for his glass once again, but stopped abruptly as the Devil deemed his efforts not to get extra punishments easy. She was pulling his leg, wasn’t she?

“Easy? Easy? It’s not easy at all! We’re talking about balancing scales when you don’t even know the rules or how each deed is measured!” He protested, waving his arms for emphasis. “I’ve been on the edge since forever, because I never know if I have pushed it too far towards one end or the other!” A scoff. “Easy, she says. Try it yourself and then we can talk about it again.”

The last question managed to caught the Serpent off guard once again and his expression, from incredulous, quickly turned contemplative. His fingers laced around his drink and he took a slow, long sip, taking a few moments to consider his answer.

“Uh, survive is perhaps a bit too strong as a word. Fit in, for sure. And well, I still failed at it, as you know. And it’s not just about Hell. It’s also about the whole being a demon thing. There are things that are in my nature that I don’t like. Urges, feelings, thoughts…” He waved a hand. “But I can’t exactly not do or feel them, because…well, they are part of what I am. So, eternal inner conflict and all that crap.”

Crowley closed his eyes for a moment, with a heavy sigh. “Sometimes, it was easier to blame it on some of the orders I received. But the truth is,” and he had never told this to anyone before, “that if I had wanted, I could have found a way around all those horrible things. But I didn’t, because there was a part of me who wanted to do them.”

Lucifer squinted. “You really like those humans. Don’t you? Of course.”

'I said, let's put a pin on that'. Then again, she didn't disrespect the demon enough to make him shut his yap. There you go. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Lucifer listened. What struck her was that there was nothing but trust with how he talked about the angel. It unnerved her with how comfortable he was. Nothing should be trusted that much, because trusting was how others took advantage of you. Any trust at all should be conditional, because that was quantifiable. 

“I know countless angel-demon partnerships that’re just fake. Backstabbing for personal gain. Why was there an exception between you and Aziraphale?”

Lucifer stopped paying attention, as a loud, painful ringing in her ears began. She rubbed her ears slightly. The higher the Demonic ranks a demon was, the further away they were from “Yahweh’s light”, the more vulnerable they were against symbols of faith. It was ridiculous. 

"You are on thin ice,” she muttered, though Lucifer sounded more tired than angry. “Don’t quote in verbatim anything the beatnik said in front of me. You might pop my eardrums!” Crowley’s interrogation made her frown, and she was gonna say: I said, no one can come back from the dead. But she decided to explain truthfully. 

“Jesus died from circumstances native to this Earth. An Earth that’s the way it is because Yahweh wanted it that way. Resurrecting him... She was flaunting how it didn’t matter this Earth was flawed because of Her. She could do whatever She wants with no consequences. Did Jesus even want to come back to life? Meanwhile I have to see my colleagues die every day and they could never come back. Knowing that Yahweh could revive them whenever just like Jesus, but She chose not to. Because why? Because She wants to take away everything we hold dear to us? So She’ll break us?

"We can't do good, because this whole universe is rigged against us. She wants us to fail. She wants us to never change. If one of us does anything that’d help Heaven or the humans, that effort always punishes us. Would you rather get a slap on your wrist from Hell, reminding you to never do something again? Or would you rather have Yahweh take that as an invitation and twist it you and everyone in your inner circle to die?” There was bite in those words. Lucifer was adamant on that belief, because her own eyes wouldn’t lie to her. 

The bitterness momentarily shocked her. Lucifer exhaled, then stuck a lit cigarette between her lips. That was... that was going to be a lot for Crowley to take in. She drew in a deep breath as Crowley talked. 

“But we're not... given urges and that's it. We just gotta be clever and resourceful with how we use them, so they turn useful.” She exhaled from her nostrils and shook her head. “It's not easy. I always thought the secret was just to work harder. Hide better. If someone still has urges to help others, then help your own side, so that it’s ultimately for the opposite purpose. Urges for the opposite? Throw it towards the other side.” Lucifer focused on the cigarette between her talons. “We’re not static. We’re not passive. We can always adapt.”

Lucifer frowned at Crowley’s reasoning. Most demons lamented what they’d be able to do if they were still angels. Even the occasional demons who accused her of ‘tempting them into wickedness’. Admitting that he still would’ve done what he did on the other side? That was new. "So... even if you were an angel, you'd still manage to tempt humans to do those same deeds? Well, what about if it's something like the French Revolution? An angel starting a revolution in the name of Heaven. That doesn’t make sense.” She grimaced. Yes... and Michael helped the Americans in their Revolution as per Heaven’s instructions. “With... exceptions. And the Spanish Inquisition? I doubt Heaven wants their precious humans to butcher each other like that, even if they do treat them like guinea pigs.”

[clovers-rp-blogs]

Hello everyone! It’s finally the holidays on my end. I might be more active here… but I’m not sure for how often. Therefore my blogs will be semi-active. 

[neil-gaiman]

I was curious about the casting of Gwendoline Christie as Lucifer, is Lucifer a female character in the show or is the show taking the more androgynous route with the depiction, like the Constantine movie did with casting Tilda Swinton as Gabriel?

Lucifer in the comics isn't male.

Gwendolyn plays the Lucifer in the comics.

[raths-ruin]

mr gaiman I am with you 100% but.....no genitals....but yes nipples. where we at with this ?

[neil-gaiman]

You never know when you'll need to breastfeed one of the damned.

[carpe-lumxn]

collidingxworlds​:

“If you do, then perhapsss it’sss time to get your fuckin’ sssight checked!” Crowley hissed back, suddenly getting defensive once again.

He sucked in a breath, willing himself to calm down, even if he could feel his skin itching, scales about to start bursting out in random spots.

“Yes, my former superiors. And sure, it’s been 6000 years, but not everyone is mentally old and sober as you think.” And that was an understatement. However, he doubted that using far less civil words to make his point would have helped his cause. “Maybe no one has the temper tantrums some of our kin used to throw from time to time at the beginning, but the levels of frustrations among the ranks? They are bloody high.”

He remembered very well the time when demons were almost constantly at each other’s throat. The Serpent had kept out of those fights, or at least he had tried to, but it hadn’t been easy. He had found himself in the wrong place at the wrong time. He had said the wrong thing or a word too many. And there there had been the times when the air was so sature with anger, resentment and grief that he had been overwhelmed to the point of lashing out himself.

With the passing of the centuries, things had changed, but those behaviours hadn’t completely disappeared.

“Bad? Bad don’t even start to cover it! His idea of ‘constructive criticism’…always assuming that he knows what that means in the first place…was insulting me pretty much just because he couldn’t keep up with what I told him and made him feel like the idiot he is. And those were the good days. On the bad ones…Let us say things for me with him and Ligur and whoever was in need to unload some steam turned much more physical. I’ll spare you the details.”

He waved a dismissive hand, even if the tension in his body clearly stated that it was a big deal for more than one reason for him. Lucifer might know more about Hell than he did because she ruled it and had been Downstairs for way more time than he had, but he knew what he had gone through. The fact that everyone else hadn’t noticed or had chosen to pretend not to see, it was a whole other matter.

The offer to “look into the matter” caught Crowley off guard and he turned to stare at the Devil, eyes wide behind his sunglasses. Well, that was…definitely unexpected. Even if it sounded like a very unlikely thing to put into practice.

“I…Ngk. Uh…You don’t…I mean. Don’t bother. I…I appreciate the thought, but…Low-ranked demons speaking up against their superiors? Never going to happen,” he spoke after a few moments of stunned silence. “I mean, we have people down there that are called disposable demons. I lost count of how many have been destroyed under my eyes for the most stupid reasons. And that says it all about how many got killed in the last millennia.”

He hesitated for a moment. “If…If you really want to do something, then better focus on the whole ‘starting to bring changes in the mentality’ thing. Making an example of someone? That’s one of the many crappy thing that got us where we are now.”

Crowley visibly cringed at Verrine’s name, his attempts to hide the effect it had on him vain.

“Tyr…I heard of her. Never met in person, but…yeah. She doesn’t sound the type who’d eagerly join this sort of crusade.” He fidgeted in his spot, fixing the hem of his jacket in a show of nervousness. “That bast…ah, the doctor, I had the absolute displeasure of having a few meetings up and close with him and I’d really rather not repeating those experiences.”

They had thrown enough trauma in his way already.

Confusion spread over the Serpent’s face when the brush made its appearance and he almost started at Sirocco’s abrupt reaction. He managed to stop himself just in time, though, Lucifer’s advice about making no sudden moves echoing firmly in his mind. As spooked as he was, he was still very determined to keep all his limbs.

“Oh, she’s in charge if that means she won’t start chewing me. No complaints here,” he hurried to say, speaking as much to the Hellhorse as he was to the Devil. “And she’s definitely a menace. At least for where I stand.”

Making sure to never lose sight of the animal, Crowley reached out to take the brush. “Uh, any tip on how not to work on her main? I really don’t want to accidentally upset her because I don’t know some of her…ah, quirks.”

“Hey-! Stay.” When Crowley responded with so much animation his scales burst out, Sirocco had started to trot forwards, her mane flaring. On cue, Sirocco stopped, as she was well trained. Sirocco turned her head around, confused. “Yes. Stay. He’s not gonna do anything. He’s a little ticked off, but that’s my bad. M’kay?” With a snort and a stomp, Sirocco stayed back as instructed, though still eyed the other demon. 

Otherwise, Lucifer was very calm towards Crowley’s outburst. Seeing his scales burst out made her realised she stepped too far. All demons had similarities... but he wasn’t ready to talk about that yet. “Alright. I won’t bring that up again.”

“Lower demons had made complaints before. We’re not passive-- we haven’t been afraid to speak out against Yahweh.” She rubbed her chin in thought. "How do I explain this? No one in Hell’s unscathed. So we gotta prioritise scenarios where many people are endangered by this one person. And... we can’t just believe single cases anymore. I’ve seen fake accusations made just to sweep out competition. It’s hideous.” That latter point made Lucifer unsure whether she could take Crowley’s words at face value. 

Lucifer kept a calm, neutral face, with a slight frown in her eyebrows. Inside all she could feel was disappointment. “They did?” She muttered. She broke off eye contact, and looked down. No... she can’t just take everything at face value. Her being gullible helped with nothing. But she wanted to fix whatever issue the serpent had with the place, did she not? Lucifer pulled out a notepad and wrote exactly what Crowley said. She’ll use the quote as a reference once she could ask around. See if this was a bigger issue. And she could ask one of the Erics. It helped ground her, a little, planning to do something rather than just sit around and mope stupidly. She’ll fix this. She’ll fix this. Hastur was still grieving over Ligur’s death. He wouldn’t like this accusation if it came through, but... she’ll fix this. 

Her ears pricked up at the mention of the disposable demons. Surprisingly quickly. Maybe it was because Lucifer wanted something to distract her. “Legion! Sweetheart, they're not a... species, they’re all one person. His bodies regenerate immediately, so discorporation doesn't bother him that much. Very hardworking." Before adding more details, Lucifer paused. "... make that 4 who would like to speak to you." 

Lucifer looked at Crowley, puzzled. No... no, don’t retract that argument. “We did try change things around on a personal level. The Hellhorses and Hellhounds are there to be unconditional support, while also having enough needs to help demons practise responsibility. I noticed demons with pets work better and help each other out more. Then again... Hastur has a Hellhorse, and that didn’t stop much.” With disgust and shame in her heart, Lucifer continued: “... this sort of thing happens frankly because some of us don’t care about each other. They just think about how they could help themselves.”

"Tyr? Against what Hell stands for? Oh, the very opposite." She stayed silent for a long time. The history between her and Tyr was... turbulent. "We all had different reasons for Armageddon... some more than others. Tyr has a chronic injury from the War in Heaven. Only Heaven’s medicine can cure it... and we can only get Heaven’s medicine once Armageddon's over.” Lucifer closed her eyes and made a long, heavy sigh. “Best if you see Tyr herself. See with your own eyes, listen to her. Lots of things are gonna make sense afterwards. ” 

Lucifer blinked at how Crowley described Verrine. "He? Oh.... With Verrine... you’re 3000 years too late. Verrine already faced their punishment. Went through 500 years heavy labour and everything; that’s what the other victims decided. None of the data forcibly collected from you or other demons are used by our medical staff anymore. Guaranteed.” She crossed her arms. “Verrine did fall for being abusive with their staff upstairs. Cared too much about honing their practice. Abused healthy lives. They’ve earnt their way back now though. Y’know, after the 500 years heavy labour."

Sirocco could feel the tension in the air. Sirocco didn’t seem to like how Crowley spoke back at Lucifer, but that was because she was being overprotective. Lucifer appreciated how Crowley didn’t make sudden movements, like she asked. Sirocco, as a result, looked at the demon puzzlingly. “You’re doing great, you’re doing great,” Lucifer said to Crowley. That’s it. If he didn’t pose himself as a threat, there was no incentive for Sirocco to do much. Sirocco did raise her head in pride when Crowley asserted that she was in charge, though. Also because she was called a menace.

"Start from the top of the head. Don’t worry about the flame. It’s is just for show. ‘S just hair. The way it flies everywhere is very annoying, so gently bunch some of it in your hand before brushing. Oh-! And before you do, part away large tangles with your fingers first. That brush is too fine to part em. Don't yank on the knots, cause that’d hurt the horse, but part them slowly. Don't rush. We don’t want any motions that’d pull hair off.”

[horrorandhalloween]

[cosmicxxxlight]

@paradiseturnedhell

[carpe-lumxn]

//it's been ages since I've posted art so here's Lucifer after she volunteered to lick the mould on Hell's walls

[carpe-lumxn]

collidingxworlds​:

Crowley pressed his lips together in a thin line at Lucifer’s words. The Devil had a point. His messes had mostly affected him, so dismissing them, or at least pretending to have dismissed them, had been easy most of the times. Also, having the chance to take naps that lasted months, even years or more…That definitely helped him burying away everything he didn’t want to deal with.

“Ngk. Saying that my mistakes never affected anyone else wouldn’t be completely accurate,” he answered after a moment of restless silence. “Maybe it’s true for the most part, but…I did give history a too strong kick without truly meaning to, from time to time.”

He hadn’t grasped that the Morningstar was referring strictly to Hell and not also to Earth and the rest of the universe. If he had, he would have fully agreed with her because, the Armageddoff mishap aside, his work and choices had never truly interfered with the Pit’s affairs.

“And I’m a demon, I don’t feel…” He started to add, but he instantly cut himself off. Alright, what he had been about to say was poor bullshit. He had experienced guilt and regret, far too many times. Those feelings had been weaved inside his core the day of the Fall and had never left. They were part of their curse. However, that didn’t mean he felt bad every time he fucked up. Not unless the consequences were truly dire. Or unless Aziraphale had got involved somehow.

“I mean. I do stand my ground. Mostly. When it’s needed. …Uh.”

He wasn’t really sure if Lucifer would have believed him. He had always acted almost complacent and meekly, at least for demonic standards, but that had been part of his act. It was easier to feed his superiors and colleagues his twisted truths and ideas if they thought him as mostly harmless and relatively loyal, even despite the fact that he had gone “native”.

Thankfully, the Devil quickly stirred the conversation away from that subject, sparing him the risk of making an even bigger fool of himself.

“That’s exactly what I thought!” He exclaimed, perking up in his seat. It looked like they had found something they truly agreed on. “I even told the angel, back when Noah was reading the Ark and all…I mean, it was something our side could have thought of, not Heaven! And Babel…I don’t know. Was it supposed to be a test? Or…or…perhaps Upstairs decided to slow the humans down because they were progressing too fast. I tried to…warn them that it wasn’t such a sound idea, but only a few listened to me.”

He had stood among the ruins of the Tower for a long time, after the tragedy had happened and the people had scattered, their previous passionate unity turned into nothing just rubbles, just as the majestic building. He had mourned that loss, even if not as deeply as he had after the Flood.

“There were children. Children.” His voice came out low and bitter and his yellow eyes burnt a hole in the floor. “When the planet was flooded…they all died. I never understood it. Why the kids? Innocent souls who hadn’t even had the time to learn what sin meant.”

A heavy sigh left his lips. “Of bloody course I felt sorry for him! I mean, he was the son of a carpenter, he never got to go anywhere or live his life because She entrusted him this big burden to bear and all. I showed him the world, you know? When I was sent to ‘tempt’ him in that stupid desert.”

It had been a quick tour, and a hazard from his part, but he couldn’t have let the poor guy die without having seen what he was sacrificing himself for.

“But…He was just so okay with it all? Suffering like that, for some…lie those greedy idiots of the temple had shouted to the masses. He had…faith. He believed that it would have been for the best, in the long term. I never managed to decide if he was right or wrong. Not until the End fell on us.”

Crowley decided not to comment on Lucifer’s words on Eden. He could tell that the subject was an abused sore spot and that he had poked at it too much already. Better letting it go before it got out of hand. Besides, he was still feeling gloomy himself for his previous words and didn’t feel like arguining anymore.

His gaze, however, snapped back on the Devil when she spoke next. Was she complimenting him? Offering comfort? It was almost too surreal to believe and, especially, he wasn’t sure how to react to it.

“…I know how to set off an atomic bomb. Kinda looked into it one day a couple of decades ago out of curiosity,” the Serpent blurted out, very aware that it was hardly the core of her speech. “I mean…I don’t know if ‘threatened’ is the right term. They don’t understand me, so they are…wary of me. I don’t think they believe I’m better, in any way. I’m just, to use a human expression, a weirdo.”

Most people who had met him on Earth probably considered him such too, but it was beyond the point.

“Consequences from Above?” The demon’s brow creased in confusion. “I was careful and made sure that neither Hell nor Heaven knew about it! And if you mean….Her, well. I evened the score by doing a lot of small, evil deeds in the aftermath. So, no upsetting the balance of my fate or whatever.”

The meaning then registered to her. Crowley meant... regretting starting events in human history. His... achievements?

Lucifer said nothing, deciding to bring it up later. 

"Heaven rushed everything and the humans paid the price. If we had even a day more to sort out action plans none of that would have happened.”

Even after thousands of years, what he remembered were the humans. So Crowley really did like them. "There were kids. Kids and their families." The Nephilim and their parents also. "No. They never did have a life before they went." Lucifer exhaled. "The Flood helped no one."

The serpent was reliving old memories. "Look at me. Look at me,” she requested, trying to be as grounding as she could. “Let me tell you this. It was too crowded in Hell. Yes? So we had to turn most of the souls that arrived in Hell away. That’d include children, too.” Lucifer’s lips tightened. “Are they in Heaven or are they in Purgatory? Ah... I don’t know. But none of them are being tortured in Hell, that’s for sure.”

At the mention of Aziraphale, Lucifer’s gaze hardened. "The angel? Aziraphale?" She squinted with interrogation. "You know, sweetheart, other angel-demon friendships I've seen would have ended in a murder by then." A chronic wound in the heart. But... if all angel demon relationships were indeed insincere, why would nothing apparently happen to Crowley during those 6000 years? "Let's put a pin on that. There's a lot I am not getting."

At Crowley’s bitter words regarding his mission, Lucifer’s lip tightened, and she almost looked guilty "I... needed someone to tell Him that listening to Yahweh was a bad idea," she explained with a small shrug, albeit not without an air of arrogance. "If you could tempt Eve, you could tempt Jesus. He is just a human, and Yahweh can't use people as pawns. Sending the first tempter would be a good way to send that message.”

“You... really still feel sorry even after He came back from the dead? I mean, this is a mortal person who was trying to live his life. When He came back just because Yahweh said so... that made so many of us feel stupid for empathising. Empathising-! with Him at all!” It was only after she had finished that Lucifer noticed she was so frustrated she stood up. Lucifer was humiliating herself, and she was humiliating Hell. With a neutral expression, Lucifer swallowed and quietly sat back down. She tried to end with a grim, ironic quote. Instead, what she said was: “no one. No one could come back from the dead.”

Lucifer wasn't ignorant, she was realistic. Just as much as understanding their mistakes, people needed to know their strengths so they'd work their best. She tried to be pragmatic. It was what she was made to do. But there were all these... poetic justice and dramatic irony business everywhere she looked. Not just for her, but all demons. 

“So. Keeping on Her good side and not getting punished depended on... keeping up some good and evil balance? ... Ah.” she simply replied. “That sounded easy.”

Lucifer would have asked whether Crowley would rather have an alternate history where the aforementioned disasters never happened. Instead, Lucifer thought of how Crowley talked about Hell and his achievements with frustration. Of course. She knew the answer would be the same variants demons screamed at her face so many times. That she ruined their lives. That she was a horrible leader. That she was just like Yahweh, but somehow worse. 

And to think all this prattling came from nail polish. Lucifer exhaled from her nose, then decided to ask the question she was dreading.

"You... really felt that you had to do things you hated to survive in Hell's system?"

[carpe-lumxn]

collidingxworlds​:

A very displeased hiss escaped Crowley’s lips. “Ngk. The ‘anxiousss Plebeian ssssort like me’?! Excussse me?! I’m a Plebeian and I might have a tendency towardsss anxiety, but I’m not like them!”

He was baffled by the fact that Lucifer had so casually compared him to that bunch of idiots he had been forced to deal with since his first day in Hell. She had to have said it on purpose, to rile him up, to get under his skin. She couldn’t truly think it…right?

“And I’d like to remind you that some of those ‘plebeians’ are Dukes. So not exactly low-ranked demons,” he added then, in a calmer tone, even if there was still an echo of indignance in his voice.

He ran a hand in his ginger hair, huffing and puffing for a few moments before he managed to fully collect himself.

“I doubt that they will be willing to see me, but…worth a try, I guess,” he muttered then, crossing his arms on his chest. “And you mean five including you, or five that aren’t you?”

Before he could hide it, his lips curled in an uneasy frown at the mention of the bath of Holy Water. He was supposed to be immune to it, or at least that was what Hell and Heaven had to believe, so he should have no need to fear it. Hopefully, Lucifer would have taken his little slip as something due to muscle memory.

“Ah, yes. I think that seeing that show once was enough for everybody,” he nodded in agreement, forcing a believable grin, even if he was anything but amused.

He couldn’t believe he was thinking it, but thank somebody for the Hellhorse issue at hand. It was the perfect pretext to leave that subject behind.

Gulping quietly, the Serpent forced himself to do as he was told, following the Devil’s lead and trying to relax as she guided his movements. His shoulders remained tense, since he was expecting Sirocco to chomp his fingers off any time, but oddly enough the beast remained calm and still, at least until the Morningstar had completely removed her own talons and her eyes flew open again.

Crowley’s instincts fought a quick but vicious battle, as a part of him wanted to jump away, while the other pushed him to simply freeze in his spot. Eventually, the latter won, since he decided that startling the Hellhorse wasn’t a smart idea under any circumstances.

“…Ngk. I still have all my limbs?” He offered after a moment, not daring to turn his eyes away from Sirocco to answer the question. “And, uh, she’s…hairy. Soft, hairy and warm.”

He could do better…or not.

“But I still think she doesn’t like me.”

"Prefer to keep to yourself, suspicious of deals too good to be true, disowning those with similar backgrounds. There certainly are a lot of similarities!"

Lucifer was about to take that comment literally and that Crowley meant there were Dukes who acted on conspiracy theories. What made Crowley leave was the abuse? "Your own superiors? That... that wasn’t supposed to happen. It’s been 6000 years. We’re all supposed to be too old and sober to vent our frustrations onto each other. And Hastur’s capable of leadership, I’ve seen him in action!” Exasperated, Lucifer brushed back her hair. “Do... you mean as in his constructive criticism’s bad?” Of course he doesn’t! She thought to herself. This is your system. You let this happen. Now fix it. “I’ll ask around. See if there’s enough cases for a trial. Demote him, maybe.”

Oho. Think you’re such a hero, don’t you? Finally want Hell to be a safe space again? Finally want to do good for once in your life? Act on impulsive fear of never doing enough? Make more promises you can’t keep? What happened to the character building and the grit you like to preach, huh? What happened to no one should be coddled because that’s living in a fantasy land?

Lucifer instead answered Crowley’s question. “Your maths is off. There’s only one of me, sweetheart. Unless you think that I’m two-faced?” Lucifer would’ve chuckled, but the prior revelation made her too solemn to joke around. "Two more who are more gambles. One is a doctor who experiments with demonic anatomy often. Considering your immunity, Verrine's gonna ask you permission to submit samples for tests, or straight up snitch some. Wouldn’t think you’d like to give away your secret so soon, no? 

“Other one... Tyr... well.” Lucifer was grimacing. She rubbed the back of her neck out of reflex. “She’s determined. A great motivator. Down to earth. Tyr’s more willing to listen and make compromises these days, but ah... she wouldn’t be happy to see you.” Or Lucifer.

And now the horses. Lucifer felt stupid for thinking that the finishing metaphor she was aiming for would work. Or that microaggression from Hellhorses helped make Crowley think that he wasn’t meant for Hell rather than the abuse that had been happening to him. Do the Hellhorses even work as therapy animals? Lucifer grimaced, ashamed that she was getting distracted just to attend her pity party. But she wanted the lesson, and wanted Crowley to not be afraid of horses anymore, so she might as well commit.

Lucifer could see how diligently Crowley was willing to follow her instructions. “There you go. Everything's intact. Not a flake of skin scraped off,” she said cautiously. “Swell.” She snapped her claws and a mane brush appeared in them, preparing to offer it to Crowley for the next stage. 

Sirocco then jerked her head strong enough to brush off Crowley’s hand and made a short whinny. Lucifer sweated bullets and prepared to intervene. However, Sirocco... did not do more than that, instead, observing Crowley with suspicion in her eyes. "Sirocco likes being a menace in charge.” 

Lucifer peered at Crowley. “You’re alright, you’re alright. She’s just testing out how you’d react. You’re not gonna hurt her, so she’s gonna calm down a lot.”

[carpe-lumxn]

paradiseturnedhell​: 

Nick pulled a face at the word evil. He said: “It depends. The people, who claim they know the difference between right and wrong for sure, tend to not always make for the best. Quite a few can do atrocities and yet they find ways to justify them. Maybe they ought to be called evil.” He curled his lips. “Evil. Evil. Never liked that word. ‘s thrown around far too easily nowadays for my liking.”

The devil rose his shoulders. “We’ve never had a normal childhood to begin with”, Nick explained, “We were made, according to what environmental pressure, God wanted to give the world. We were all already fully formed, our designing principle, drumming in our heads. We instinctively knew what we were supposed to do - and we acted accordingly.”

He rose a hand and tapped against his temple with his pointing finger. “Even after my Fall, I can feel my designing principle, singing in my head. Urging me to do what I was made to do. At first I tried to ignore it as much as possible. I refused to be the environmental pressure, God wanted me to be. That was, until I realised that killing angels was in a twisted way, me fulfiling my designing principle. Maybe not in the way, HE had intended, but that didn’t matter.”

“God had always been more of an observer”, Nick said, “Sure, he put the pieces into place, so that Earth could eventually harbour life, but he didn’t go out of his way and create it. Humans used to back up the idea of God, having created them, by stating that the way their eyes so perfectly work, is because he made them that way. Hate to break it to them, but not really. Eyes developed over millions of years. But I do agree: As a parent, he left a lot to be desired. Especially because part of me thinks that he did not even understand every aspect of his creation fully. Otherwise he would have known what’s up with me mentally. And I don’t think he ever knew. Or if he did, he did not feel inclined to tell me.”

Nick laughed. He said: “Well, you didn’t elaborate properly on this. You asked how demons live here. Like I said: In my world, being able to pass off as human is seen as a skill and a talent. But there are some demons, who do live like the prehistoric times. However you won’t find them in the big cities. Most of them refuse to take on human shapes or disguises. They are the creepy things, people warn about in forests or abandoned houses.”

Soon enough, the door to the flat complex was opened. Before them stood a tall man with long, black hair, bound in a pony tail. He wore a simple white laboratory cloak. His face was narrow and strangely white around his eyes and nose. Almost like the feather patterns of an owl. His eyes were of a startling, strong yellow colour. However this was cleverly masked by the usage of contact lenses, which made his eyes appear brown.

Stolas blinked in surprise. He said: “Your Highness… This is an unexpected surprise.”

Nick asked: “If it is not too much of a bother, Stolas, might we come in?”

“Of course, of course.”

Lucifer shrugged. "Oh, if others want to call what I do evil? Big deal. Doesn't make Hell's duties any less vital. Folks say: ‘evil shouldn’t be around, ever!’ But as long as there are flaws, there will be sin. Or, the next best thing would be to just erase the word entirely, and that would be choosing to be ignorant. I’m just here to show what’s bad, what’s rotten, because it’s only once we acknowledge them may we learn to be better."

She glared at the sky. “You and me both with the absentee parent, sweetheart,” she muttered.

Lucifer enjoyed talking with Nick so far, talking about their differences and similarities. Albeit, now she was very excited with meeting another demon, even though Lucifer would also like to visit the prehistoric demons. At the sight of the owl demon, Lucifer lifted her talon up in a friendly gesture. "Hello. I'm a visitor.”