CarryOnStarKid

I should probably be writing

[kissedfawns]

kinda nervous about something. don’t know what it is yet

[phantomrose96]

Hey hey don’t cry. Character who destroys themself in the end for nothing

[girldraki]

[therealjambery]

Not platonic, not romantic, but a secret third thing (real fucking weird about each other).

[sadclowncentral]

my friends held an intervention for me to "stop asking intimidately specific questions". i tried to explain that i am just a good listener but there is apparently "a line between follow-up questions during small talk and interrogation tactics that gets crossed sometimes". turns out my curious nature is "scaring the hoes"

[sadclowncentral]

when i asked for examples i was told that "do you think your tendency to show appreciation through restoration is part of a greater life philosophy or is that coincidental?" and "is your communication with allied forces satellite or radar based and is it vurnerable to cyber attacks?" are apparently "inappropriate questions to ask someone you just met at a club". but i disagree. as if you wouldn't be a little bit curious about the answer? yeah that's what i thought

[sadclowncentral]

[ID: question by anonymous: did they answer the question though ///end ID]

the navy officer i asked about cyber attacks did answer my question very thoroughly. he also answered other questions such as "when refueling on sea, which boat is the primary course holder?" and "would switching to another government branch affect your retirement benefits?" and generally provided a lot of information over the course of a fascinating hour that as a former government employee myself i am pretty sure he should not have told me. but i also think he would have told me his social security number if i asked nicely (i didn't, I was busy learning about the tactical advantages of speedboats).

the guy obsessed with boat refurbishment that i asked about his tendency towards preservation gave me a really haunted look, said "holy fuck" and then after a moment of consideration "i think i am too drunk. i'm going home" and proceeded to leave. in my defense, it was well and truly meant as genuine curiosity and not as the attempt at psychological warfare it turned out to be. he unfortunately did not answer my question.

...he was also the catalyst for the intervention i received.

[once-a-polecat]

Fascinated by the fact that "guy obsessed with boat refurbishment" is considered one of "the hoes."

[copperbadge]

On Saturday I said to my partner, as I have said for months, "A ten thousand dollar a year raise would solve so many of my problems."

As of this morning I was reluctantly looking for jobs because I love my job and don't want to leave it, but see: $10k raise problem solver.

As of noon today this was no longer an issue, because my boss called me with the news that I was getting a $10K merit raise.

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. This is roughly $200 extra per paycheck. Enough to pay off debt faster, rebuild my savings, and spend a weekend a month in Milwaukee getting obscenely laid. The sex I'm going to have on $200 extra per paycheck. You can't even.

May all of you get the $10K raise your soul has yearned for. And whatever level of sex you can be satisfied with for $200.

[vergess]

hey bestie i think ur post might be charmed 'cause you aren't gonna fuckin believe what happened today

[goldswords]

THAR SHE BLOWS!! A LIFTED BLACK FORD F150 WITH TINTED WINDOWS. PASSENGER PRINCESS, GET THE HARPOONS!!!!!

[fairycosmos]

old people are right about crosswords and morning stretches i will admit

[mechanomorphic]

queer muppet moments i would make happen if i was in charge of the muppets:

the electric mayhem (minus animal bcs hes their kid) arent a polycule, theyre monogamous. but specifically they break up and date each other one at a time. they have a chart.

animal is genderfluid. this is mentioned exactly once bcs kermit calls her he and she starts yelling "SHE/HER!" kermit corrects himself and the show goes on

rizzo made out with gonzo once but he still considers himself straight bcs gonzo is not a guy, he's a whatever. gonzo agrees with this

uncle deadly dated tim curry. it did not end well.

actual emotional scene of gonzo talking about how he feels abt gender. no jokes.

kermit: no matter what, gonzo is still gonzo, and we're always going to support gonzo no matter what gonzo decides- gonzo: kermit. i still use he/him

statler and waldorf wedding episode. theyre divorced by the next

beaker trying to ask bunsen out on a date. in the end it turns out bunsen thought they'd been dating for years.

miss piggy hanging out with drag queens

related, miss piggy starting to present butch and kermit being Really Into It. hes embarassed abt it

pepe begins a story with "when i was a little girl...."

janice decides to start using just she bcs "like, i could never be her"

rowlf mentions having a husband. even kermit is like "??? since when??!"

actually i change my mind. genderfluid animal is mentioned a second time when dr teeth is calling for instrument and mic checks, he turns to animal and yells "animal! pronoun check!" "HE/HIM" "alright!"

[irisbleufic]

Swedish Chef neopronouns: bork/bork/bork

[duckofmisfortuneoffical]

“Your gender is a performance? Well it’s one I’d hate to see. OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO”

[depsidase]

[garlicbunny]

“ok lets do warm up sketch”

“oh..”

[omtai]

She literally does not give a damn what that old fool is yelling about

[unaloid]

the lion does not concern herself with papa

[anotherhawk]

Eva Stratt does NOT need a redemption arc. Eva Stratt did EVERYTHING WRONG so that no-one else would have to. Her hands are permanently stained with blood so humanity gets to keep on living.

[librarychair]

As much as I want to support ethical farming practices I will be buying the cheapest bag of frozen chicken thighs as much as the next frugal/poor person which is why animal welfare needs to be legislated, not left up to the invisible hand of the free market or some bullshit. Invisible hand of the free market finds itself around a lot of throats.

[niamhermind]

"Invisible hand of the free market finds itself around a lot of throats."

That is such a line.

[zillychu]

I am, if nothing else, a slut for The Implications

[zillychu]

You want to create a series primed for optimal transformative work? Leave the most burning questions unanswered but drop just one or two really disconcerting stray bits of dialogue. Make the setting campy with just a few Troubling Coincidences no one fully addresses. Let the audience catch a few worms but keep a forest of barren hooks looming ominously in the distance. Give the fans a sandbox and fill it with landmines.

[artsekey]

I post on Reddit. Someone says it’s AI. I tell them it is not. They say, “sure, buddy”.

I post on Reddit. “AI slop,” they comment. “and if it isn’t, it’s bad, mediocre writing.”

“No, I am not a bad writer.” I have the audacity to say. “Writing is part of what I do professionally. I get paid to do this.”

Someone else posts on Reddit. A chat from Bumble, where a man has the gall to use the unnatural em-dash. “No one uses the em-dash,” they say. It’s a trope at this point, I know. “The hypen is much more common. I don’t know where to even find the em-dash. Plus, he said you were “elite”. No one would say that.”

“The hypen isn’t grammatically correct.” I tell them, looking over the chat log. It’s a real person on the other side, their personality obfuscated by the nerves that come with reaching out on a dating app. There’s subtle humor, missing punctuation. Still, 100 people condemn it as AI. It’s more feasible to them that someone would edit those human elements back in manually than type it themselves.

I post on Reddit. I tell them my writing keeps being called AI slop. They say it is, it is. Use fewer periods. Capitalize less. Ignore the rules. A real person wouldn’t write like that. A real person wouldn’t use those words, or say it like that. I’m a real person. I can’t prove it to them.

Someone, finally, says that the tone of my post matches how some books are written. That maybe it would be good for those who doubt that the writing is man-made to read more man-made books.

“You think we don’t read?” They ask. Then something more incendiary: “You think you’re better than us?”

And, hey? Bad news, babes. This isn’t hyperbole. This is all real shit that has happened in the last week.

What the fuck is going on???

[dilfdyke]

love love love when a particularly manipulative character is lying off their ass about something and then throws in one hauntingly genuine line