โโitโs hard not to,โ she states matter of factly. truth be told, all gemma felt when she saw the male was those same feelings that sparked their split and her decision to move back home. never in a million years would she think heโd be living in ohio or sharing the same apartment building as her. gemma didnโt like the person she became when they were together, constantly second guessing her worth with their growing fame. she looked through his phone out of a moment desperation, only to be proved right. as the male throws the phone onto the cushion, her eyes fall on a few familiar images of the two. knots twist within her stomach, fingertips remaining clasped in her lap. as he explains his intentions for showing up, gemma begins to slowly shake her head. โitโs not about what the text said, carson,โ she clarifies, features demonstrating confusion. sheโs shocked she even has to explain that. โitโs about what you said that night or do you not remember that part ? i think it was something along the lines of me serving my purpose.โ she didnโt need to paraphrase. the words were ingrained within her mind forever. it was her first heartbreak. his final conclusion causes her to wince, eyes fluttering shut for a moment. โi canโt take back what happened,โ she breathes, โi met someone else โฆ and you know that.โ fingertips push the phone back in his direction, eyes finally opening to meet his. โi donโt need to see whatโs on the phone. itโs not gonna change what happened between us, but that doesnโt mean i donโt still care about you โฆ as much as i want to be angry with you, iโm not. iโm angry with how things ended.โ thereโs another pause, eyes flickering between him and her roommateโs door. โiโm sorry for that night and the part i took in it. i shouldnโt have looked through your phone. and if youโre sorry, carson โฆ youโll apologize and mean it. no more excuses, no more drunk calls โฆ just be real with me.โย
carson's initial reaction was to jump in and defend his actions, to remind her of her own wrongdoings in hopes of making himself look less guilty, but it was pointless. no matter what his reasonings were for spitting venom that day, it wasn't justifiable and he knew that. so instead of cutting her off, he relaxed in place and listened, mind only drifting from her words to think about how intoxicated he truly was. the male was almost certain that he'd wake up in the morning and think this was all a dream but until then he'd ride it out, only clearing his throat once she was finished. "i wanted to hurt you," he admitted, zero emotion in his tone because that wasn't his opinion, it was fact. "i'm not going to sit here and stick up for the things i said but i made the choice to devalue you and what we had because at that point my trust was broken, my trust was gone." his palm was flat against his chest, hazel orbs carefully skimming over her features from a couple of feet away. "i was just -- so goddamn angry back then for more reasons than just what was going on between us and i let it spill over onto you. that i do regret -- i'm genuinely sorry." he swallows thickly, attempting to push his complicated past to the back of his mind before cautiously stepping forward. he could see that she's conflicted and he gets it, why wouldn't she be ? gemma had more to think about here than he did because he wasn't the only player in her game. there's a ting of jealously that flashes over his features, disappearing just as quickly as it appeared. "the mechanic?" he exhales, tipping his head back in frustration, "come on, gemma, you two break up and make up so much that you cannnot expect me to take that seriously." there's a brief pause as he crouches down in front of her, knowing she'd be more receptive to eye level communication, "he'll never get it, gem. he'll never understand the parts of you that i see with absolute clarity because we've been through some shit. locked out of our airbnb in france, sunsets in tailand, cliff diving in bali. the list is endless and no one from the outside can share those memories...that connection." his hand reaches up slowly, fingers brushing past her locks to cup her face, "tell me i'm wrong -- tell me i'm wrong and i'll go."
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