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+carter; we're hollow like the bottles that we drain, you drape your wrists over the steering wheel, pulses can drive from there, we night be hollow but we're brave. 21 | mtv

[d-r-e-a-r-y]

[cartervogel]

↳ instagram: @cartervogel uploaded a new photo 

@cartervogel: i miss little Jamie so much right now xx

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[themanipnetwork]

Greyson rolled his eyes at the pushing on his shoulders, swatting at her hands with just the slightest tinge of a smile. “Why are you pushing me?” he forced out as a grumble, looking back at her before pushing himself further into the seat. “I don’t know. People stopped wanting to just hold a girls hand like the beetles and decided they rather make the bed rock.” he joked under his breath. “And a lot of people don’t smile, even if they are.” 

[cartervogel]

"I'm pushing you because I can!" she said, continuing to attempt to get him to stumble. But he was sober, as he always was, and she was drunk, as she always was, and it was so normal between them again that it made Carter smile even harder for the both of them. "Well, romance is dead and I hope all of those idiots feel happy with themselves because all they are ever going to get is bed rocking," Carter said hazily, "I mean, I've had my fair share of one night stands, but there's a reason for that." She said, not realizing what she had said. She looked at Grey then, in need to have some kind of reassurance of how he felt about being around her. "Are you happy, Grey?"

[themanipnetwork]

Grey Jacobs Moodboard: ft. The Almost Love 1/?

She wasn’t an ex girlfriend.

…. But she was an ex something.

An ex maybe….

———An ex almost.

[jamesbanes]

For me, what I enjoyed the most was when me and Dylan spent the day on the top of the tree together… and it was just so random. And it kind of is the beauty of this job. […] And it was the first day where we… we’d become friends but I think it’s where we kind of really spend time together as actors. And for me it was just a beautiful day of work, because I got to be one on one with him and see the magic he makes

[hcleyjamesscott]

"I don’t know. Honestly I just really like rap these days. Childish Gambino is life. Kanye is life. Drake is life. That’s like my holy trinity with Jay-Z somewhere in there too. But I get your point, music has to be mainstream now in order to be appreciated."

[cartervogel]

"Childish Gambino is literally bae. I love him. But I miss the old music, like how peaceful it was and unique. Music should be appreciated in all forms. I'm glad you agree with me. Have we met? I only ever meet people when I'm drunk, it seems. I'm Carter. I'm from Freeport in Florida."

[themanipnetwork]

"Most of them died." he responded bluntly, shrugging his shoulders. Most of the old school good musicians are dead, it’s just a fact. Looking over at Carter, he hummed a bit and sipped at his water bottle. "And your smile doesn’t read as very upset Carter."

[cartervogel]

"I know that, dumbass." Carter replied, gently and weakly pushing his shoulder in attempt to push him out of the chair. "I meant the music... they died, but why did the music have to die with them? I mean, I'm in love with Childish Gambino and all of the new people these days, but the spirit isn't in it." She ranted, the smile never leaving her face due to her drunken phase. "A lot of people smile even though they aren't happy, you know."

[cartervogel]

honesty hour.

[cartervogel]

"What ever happened to music like Johnny Cash and The Beatles? I'm feeling very old school today. Maybe I'm just drunk, but I feel like music is exclusive now in order to be mainstream. This fact makes me highly upset." Carter expressed as she drank more of her drink.

[themanipnetwork]

Greyson immediately noticed the small smile on her lips. Even if it was over something as silly as his Alice comment, it felt nice to see she was smiling again. It had been so long since he saw it, and sure he was probably a hypocrite for thinking she should do it more often but then again. He didn’t really care because her smile was beautiful. Nothing scared him more than how much he really did enjoy her smile. Taking a small breath, he looked up to meet those big blue eyes once more. Her arms were wrapped around him, her nose tucked into the crook of his neck and for once touch wasn’t so bad. It didn’t feel like fire on his skin, it felt like ice on a burn. It was soothing, it was helping him to forget, it was Carter. Swallowing, he rested his chin on her shoulder and tried to find the words. What words were there to say though? What were you supposed to say to your old best friend, your old maybe, your old could have been, or your old should have been. They were never together, he didn’t even know if Carter cared for him the same way. Greyson’s mindset was that he wouldn’t fall in love because he didn’t care about anyone enough to love them. He thought he didn’t want love, and for a while he thought he didn’t want her but the second he was pulled from her world he realized how dark his was without her. She was never a bouncy ray of light but god she was to him. To him she could have lit up even the darkest of places, she knew how to flip the switch that even after years of trying, he couldn’t seem to find. In this long moment of silence, all he could do was nod against her. Hoping that this wouldn’t be some trick of the mind, or of this stupid show. But then again, he didn’t care. Who cares if MTV brought her here just to destroy him, because he was so much more broken without her. The words didn’t feel like they’d ever come, and if they did they would have been wrong. As he pulled out of the embrace, he realized he was hot. His hands were shaking and his eyes were even a bit watery as he sat down on the nearest stool just looking at her. “It’s unusual for me but I’m… I’m at a loss for words.” he admitted quietly, looking back down.

[cartervogel]

Simply seeing Greyson's face was a wake up call to her. Carter couldn't grasp the idea that Grey was here; that he was actually standing in front of her right now, speechless and shocked. She wondered if he had missed her as much as she missed him, or how often he thought about her. For Carter, she thought about him a lot more than she would like to admit to. He came to her in the depths of the night in a fuzzy haze, haunting her distorted thoughts with guilt and sorrow. His face would pop into her head while she was down in the gutter, searching for a way out and into the light. He would always lead her there. It was weird to think that they use to talk all the time, because sitting right there, with him next to her at the bar, it had felt like they hadn't talked in forever, and to everyone, including the audience, they were strangers were the past, but to Carter they were so much more than that. They were the exception of life. They were the ones who didn't deserve comfort or companionship, but they somehow found it in each other despite the odds. They had found that person in each other; the one who could appreciate the unique differences and the haunted pasts and the broken person carrying a heavy baggage. They appreciated the other one's struggles, and they admired their courage. And that was why she loved to be around him more than anyone else. They had no where to hide when they were with each other, and the thought didn't make her want to throw up. So, sitting here, next to him, Carter didn't know what to say, but knew she didn't have to. That they were united again, though under peculiar circumstance, but together at least. "It's okay," She said simply, holding her whiskey in her hand. She wondered if he noticed, and she hoped he wouldn't ask why she was drinking at three in the afternoon. "I understand." She told him, and she knew that he would get it, and he would believe that she did understand, and that was all each of them could ask of the other

[themanipnetwork]

Greyson went blank. Why was he here? Well, his ex girlfriend wanted revenge for the breakup. She auditioned for the show and low and behold, MTV loved the idea of a couple who broke up because one didn’t know how to love the other. The only issue was that they didn’t want Alice, they wanted him. They wanted the heartbreaker assuming he was heartbroken as well. He wasn’t… How do you tell your- friend? Old friend? More than friend? She wasn’t his girlfriend, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized that she could have been. Carter wasn’t a friend or a girlfriend, she was Greyson’s maybe in a world of no. Swallowing, he opened his mouth and promptly closed it before starting again. “Alice is a douche.” he commented bluntly, biting on his lip. That came out wrong, although it wasn’t a lie. When she admitted to being happy to see him, he nodded. The next thought didn’t occur until his arms were already wrapped around her. A deep breath drawing in from his lips as he nodded again. “Missed you too, Carter.”

[cartervogel]

"Alice is a douche," the words left his lips and it caused a small smile to pull at the corners of her lips. Of course she remembered, he had said this multiple times about Alice. Carter doesn't know Alice, nor does she have the desire to whatsoever, but something inside of her kind of thinks she owes her a punch to the face. However, Carter also didn't know what he meant by the statement: whether he meant she had broken his heart or tried to sabotage him, she was beginning to go for the latter. Somehow, however, in some demented and twisted way, she was thankful to whoever it was that put him here. Because it brought them back together in the most peculiar way, and Carter had never been thankful for being given even just the tiniest bit of hope for the rest of her eternity. Whenever she'll feel down and lost, she'll think back to this moment and know that someone, somewhere in on her side and wants her to be happy in the most unconventional ways. Seeing Greyson was truly a miracle, and though she was hurt by his absence, she knew he couldn't prevent it, and would if he could have, and that's all she needed to hear. Carter found it hard to show how she felt right now, though. She didn't want to seem phased by this sudden development, but somehow is presence was all she needed to bring back the smile to her face. There was something about Grey and Carter that just clicked, and it was a rare thing that she knew that neither of them would replace. It's those kind of personal connections with people that shows what real self control is. Being connected to someone and calling them home, could be way more dangerous than any addiction. Carter had, and has had, her fair share of knowledge on addiction, that she still lives with, but Grey was much different. Grey was her therapy, her free space in a crowded place, her breath of fresh air. As long as he was around, she could breathe and survive this house. Suddenly, Grey pulled her into an embrace, and Carter was completely surprised by the turn of tables. Grey, as Carter knew him, was never much of a touchy feely person, and they rarely hugged. This hug, though.. it felt different than the rest. There was something pining about it, something passionate; and Carter secretly wished that he would never let go. "I'm so glad you're here." She mumbled into the crook of his neck, slightly resting her head there.

[chaseinwhitfeild]

Chase always liked to be alone, it was something that most people didn’t quite understand but she enjoyed the solidarity. Only on the longest of days and the coldest of nights did that pang of loneliness hit her. The sun was high in the sky and she knew that most of her roommates has already left for the day. Each departing to their own separate lives and as per usual she stayed behind, she’d only decided to pop into the bar for the air that somehow seemed a bit different there. She’d spent most of her life in bars watching other people piss away theres but it was still her happy place. She strode into the bar half expecting it to be empty but instead there sat an unfamiliar body in her corner, she had half a mind to ask her to move but instead she sat beside her and muttered a quick hello.  

[cartervogel]

A few minutes after Carter began sipping on her whiskey and enjoying the silence, an unfamiliar girl had walked up to the bar and said along side her, muttering a quick hello. She looked over to the girl, giving her a very weak and poor smile, nodding her head slightly, "Hello," She responded, taking another sip of her whiskey. She wasn't really sure what to say after that. She wasn't sure if the girl wanted Carter to spark a conversation or for them to stay in this uncomfortable silence. Perhaps it was comfortable for her, though; then Carter would look like a dick for assuming it felt different. "I'm Carter," she told her, "Just thought I'd say, um --- i'm going to be here for awhile, I guess."

[addisonjpg-blog]

Natalia was craving something to drink, and knowing the bar, it had quite a variety of drinks. She made her way to the bar, seeing a new face; one that she had not seen around the house. This place was getting fuller and fuller with new people. “Oh, hey.” She said, hoping to catch the girls attention. Natalia walking behind the bar, reaching below and opening the little fridge that hid beneath it and pulled out a coke, snapping it open and took a sip. She then side-eyed the brunette. “—New, I’m guessing?” She said, tapping the side of her coke can. “I’m Natalia.”

[cartervogel]

As another person came over and sat next to Carter at the bar, she wasn't too sure if she was ready mentally to deal with the people of the house. She would have to guess within the next five minutes if this girl was someone she would want to associate with, and Carter could normally tell that pretty fast. She would just have to sense anything under the surface that others might mix. So far, this girl seemed pretty nice, and fair. Carter had to give her credit for being the first to welcome her. She was pretty sure they were getting this all on camera and such. "Hi." She said simply, wondering if she should keep her mysterious facade in this house or perhaps show the people who she really was. "Yeah, you guessed right," She continued, "Just in from Freeport, Florida. But Chicago, originally. I'm Carter." --- "Nice to meet you."

[hcleyjamesscott]

"Why can’t I be Kanye West? Or like, even Jay-Z. I should be one of them."

[cartervogel]

But if you had to choose, that would be difficult. Just go with Will.I.Am. He's cool like Kayne without the arrogance, and he's just as talented as Jay-Z. Perfect solution.

[cartervogel]

honesty hour.

get to know Carter Vogel

[themanipnetwork]

She looked off. Immediately there was a weird sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach and he forgot why he had come here in the first place. The idea of leaving had fallen from his mind in a matter of seconds. As soon as she said his name, he was here to stay. The look on her face made the feeling grow inside him. If normal people had butterflies in their stomachs then he had birds in his chest, clawing at him to say something. Somehow, he just blinked, staring at her with slightly widened eyes and a blank expression. How did he feel? He definitely felt something but what that something was, he hadn’t the slightest idea. All he knew was that Carter was here, and he thought that maybe that feeling inside was happiness. “Carter.” he replied softly, not making a move. Unsure of why. Was he afraid to hug her, or was he afraid that she wouldn’t want him to?

[cartervogel]

Carter began thinking about how weird this was, that they would both wound up here. This place was neither of their scenes. Carter would never in a million years imagine Greyson on a television show, especially not on MTV. She was suddenly curious, wondering if he was as desperate as she was to escape her loneliness. She then began to wonder if he thought about her, and missed her in his absence the way she longed to be able to go to his house late at night and sleep, just sleep, until all of her ticks and images went away. She didn't have that crutch, that security blanket, anymore but here he was, standing right in front of her, and she didn't know what to do but wonder how and why? "Why are you here?" She asked, cocking her head to the side. He must have been able to tell that she was confused, or a little disgruntled, but just like always, she couldn't really tell what Grey was feeling. His poker face was still on ten. "I m-... i'm glad to see you." She said, trying to sound formal even though she had a hectic amount of alcohol in her system.

[themanipnetwork]

If Greyson was asked, he would say he barely remembered Freeport. The small town was simply that, a small town he spent a few months in. Deep down, he knew it was so much more. It was a place to runaway from all his problems, to take care of Sammy with ease, to meet people who didn’t care who he was.. The people of Freeport had taken him for a whirlwind. Audrey had become like a sister, His photography partner Leah had shown him amazing things, and then Carter… Carter had shown him how to be comfortable, how to trust someone, how to let go for half a second and maybe even smile. Carter had shown him how to be happy, and then he left. Just like that, back to New York because Sammy needed him to. The move back broke him, and MTV easily persuaded him thanks to how miserable he was in New York. He was ready to leave this place though. He came in with wit and sass, trying to have some sort of personality but it was fading. He couldn’t force himself to care anymore. As he headed downstairs to grab his phone, he saw her. At first, he wasn’t sure if it was his Carter, but he knew those dark locks. He knew the way she sat and that had to be her. Unless this was some cruel trick from MTV… Greyson went silent, walking into the room and freezing when he was finally met with piercing blue eyes.

[cartervogel]

Carter's entire world both soared and crashed to the ground in the matter of seconds. She had only met his eyes for a moment, but she felt like they were connected for an eternity, seeing a million memories flash between them. The marathons, the unspoken honesty, and the comfortable silences; they all jotted through her head in a millisecond, thinking back to Freeport and when his presence once graced upon it. It got bad after he left, with more empty bottles and blunt wraps and an endless amount of nights she couldn't remember. Mostly, she remembered back to Chicago, her home city, and how it must have been for Unix when she left him so suddenly. She felt his pain the moment Greyson walked out of her life, and in a sick way she thought it was karma getting back at her for running away from her problems. However, she couldn't learn from her mistakes, and she continued to drown herself. She knew it was unhealthy, but she didn't really have a purpose anymore. He had walked out and had to leave, and though Carter was suppose to be the girl who wasn't suppose to care, there was something telling her that he was the exception. He was the only exception. "G-... Grey?" She asked, kind of shocked by this situation. 

[glimmerous-fop-blog]

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[cartervogel]

Everybody Wants To Rule The World

Acting on your best behavior Turn your back on Mother Nature Everybody wants to rule the world