ehhhh

ted / 20s / he/him / socialism or barbarism / wooden ships and unironed men

[cleaningouttherooms]

sex is some naked bullshit and food is some crap they found on the ground but online poker is forever

[sandmandaddy69]

[liltoaster]

[oneheadtoanother]

[grand-theft-carbohydrates]

[dogpuppy]

[emmaklee]

Nishimoto Ryota

a piece of wood carved to fit perfectly into a zippered plastic bag

[tuxankhamun]

my liege we your council would not advise this course of action but we all agree it would be pretty funny regardless

[syzygynephile]

Me, trying to impress my date with a display of my boundless humility: I would like to order one single, solitary crumb.

Waitress taking my order: Such arrogance! Not only do you presume to boast under the guise of being humble, but your order employs the most decadent of linguistic excesses - the tautology!

My date, who until recently thought "tautology" referred to the study of tensile strengths and upon learning her mistake compensated by reading through its Wikipedia article: That would be more correctly identified as a "pleonasm".

The editor I hired to curate my posts who styles himself as a sort of scheming court advisor: My liege, this one is getting away from us. The punchline loses much of its impact when the rest of the joke is derailed by this increasingly self-indulgent meta humour. Were it up to me, your Grace, which of course it is not, I would cut the others and leave myself as the only supporting character. You need noone else, Your Majesty...

My card: Declines

[corantus]

locked the fuck in get my money up

[skoomabong]

[rnismatch]

my camel straight up told me "man i am not carrying another fucking straw" like wtf asshole its just one straw whats your fucking issue

[meanbuddhist]

identifying a maladaptive coping mechanism is so bitter sweet like that’s great now i know what i need to stop doing. but that’s literally my something

[mollymux]

Seems to be bunny in the trough Thursday

[biomaterial]

new kind of guy dropped

[3liza]

he's unironically 100% correct and i will hear nothing against him

[totaldowner]

I’ll need to run it by the black mold first before making any major decisions

[butterflypeaflowertea]

feeling this old mitski tweet so hard lately

[fuckyeahchinesefashion]

OP: This is the first time I've seen the Yellow River's sediment discharge with my own eyes.

[jingyuanyuan]

There's a Chinese meme that the Yellow River doesn't need rituals to present sacrifices because if it's hungry it'll come onto the shore and eat the sacrifices itself.

[asmuchasidliketo]

#some netizens also say chinese people like unification because only a powerful unified dynasty can survive the yellow river and sometimes #also the chang jiang when they decide to flood and change directions and kill and displace millions #also only large dynasties have the resources to do hydroengineering to try and control the yellow river #yellow river be like: if you don't hydroengineer you die #but if you do you might also die heehee #“we call these our mother rivers not because they are gentle but because we are too scared” tags on above post

(source: Wikipedia)

[setnet]

@mikkeneko

[alterac]

what in the

oh my god??

[cryoverkiltmilk]

People talk about how the Great Lakes are deadly because they are uncaring, but the Yellow River is literally out to get everyone.

[kleinergeist]

You don't even need to study for the Rorschach test, btw, it's super easy. All they do is show you a bunch of stupid pictures of your dad getting eaten by a horse

[hermann-rorschach]

Do not share the answers with your classmates.

[kleinergeist]

Yes Dr Rorschach

Sorry Dr Rorschach

[adderall-juice]

me when they call my name at mcdonals (i am approaching the counter)

[blogspede]

here you go sir

[adderall-juice]

thank you