What True Autistic Support looks like
Imagine what it would be like if even just one autistic in the world, no matter what issues or capabilities they had, got nearly perfect support.
What a difference that would make for an autistic. They would still stim, have sensitivities, be confused by social behaviors, have difficulties speaking, have meltdowns and shutdowns–everything that makes an autistic, an autistic. But the difference is, everyone in the world, without a single question or objection, not even so much as a raised eyebrow, would respect that one autistic.
If things were too loud, the sound would be turned down or the autistic would be allowed to go to a completely quiet room to calm down. They would not be yelled at for missing anything or having to leave, only concern would be shown and a little “catch up” given after they felt well enough to come back. The same would be applied to light.
Stimming would be completely acceptable and that autistic would be allowed to flap, bounce, pace around, use tools, as much as they wanted wherever they went. The only exception would be if they were hurting themselves, wherein instead of being forced to stop, many alternatives would be found until the autistic no longer needed the harmful stim.
ASL would be learned by everyone, AAC would be so advanced that the wait times for speech to be expressed would be minimal, but even if pen and paper had to be used, the patience of everyone would be impeccable. Being nonverbal wouldn’t be pitied and becoming nonverbal wouldn’t be something alarming.
Any time that autistic somehow made a social or other mistake it would be explained to them calmly and gently in a private area. Or, people would ask an appropriate amount of clarification to make sure they understood what the autistic actually meant instead of being immediately offended. Any rules or instructions would be explained thoroughly and specifically and the autistic would not receive any ridicule for asking a question that seemed to have an obvious answer.
The special interests of that one autistic would be highly respected. They would be listened to when they infodumped and would not be shut down. If people found it hard to follow along or had to go to another engagement, that would be explained to the autistic in a way that wouldn’t make them feel guilty or upset.
The autistic would not have to worry about the finances for any of their basic needs, including housing and medical expenses, because those would be provided for no matter what. If they wanted to buy extra things or wanted to stay productive, they would be provided a job and education that would suit their abilities and their personality. No matter what job and education they got, it would be considered valid. They would be paid a decent amount for their work and they would only have to work as much as they wanted to. They would not be fired for anything having to do with their autistic nature such as meltdowns, odd speech, difficulty socializing, and other things. The only reason they would be let go is if they were purposefully not doing their job to the best of their ability or did something illegal and dishonest.
Eye contact would not be an issue. Food sensitivities wouldn’t be ridiculed and ways would be found for that autistic to still get the proper nutrition. The autistic’s clothes would be carefully crafted to be of the softest fabrics and most comfortable construction. Ear defenders and sunglasses wouldn’t be an odd part of their wardrobe. Comfort objects wouldn’t be taken away even if they were brought out in public or at their workplace.
Childish interests would never be pressured out of that autistic, no matter what age they were. Even if a caretaker was needed, the autistic would have complete autonomy over their care. Medication to lessen their symptoms would not be forced on them unless they so choose to seek out those options.
If all of this happened to one autistic, their anxiety and depression would be minimal, maybe even nonexistent or at the very least more situational than anything. They would be variably healthy in mind, soul, and body unless there was an illness present or another genetic or developed disability. They would be proud and happy and live a long life. They would have so much to give the world and the ones they love.
This is what having true support and acceptance looks like.
It is not whatever neurotypicals or Autism Moms or A$ says it is. It is understanding, respecting, and helping autistics completely without thinking it is weird, too much, or unreasonable. It may be impossible to reach this level of support and acceptance for all autistics, but I hope, one day, that we can come close. We just have to keep fighting and informing people what being autistic is like.
But, most of all, support and acceptance starts within our own community.
Day 6 of Autism Acceptance Month 2018
Day 2: What I Love about Being Autistic is…
Day 3: My Discovery Story
Day 4 (Part 1): Reactions to “Coming Out”
Day 4 (Part 2): Reactions to “Coming Out”