So it’s hard to see him in pain.
It’s hard to see him struggle and not be able to help him..
It’s hard to see him worry..
It’s hard to see him hurt inside and when I ask him what’s wrong, he shrugs his shoulders without saying a word to not worry me..
It’s hard to see him so tired and exhausted, but still want his attention when I know he should rest instead.
When I look at him, I feel calm. Peace. Happiness. I see his flaws, one example is how stubborn he is (and I’m tellin you, this boy is stubborn like no other). He is such a helpful person.. he goes above and beyond. Works harder than anyone else at his job. He goes out of his way to help everyone even when he is in physical pain.
One night, he was asleep next to me and I was awake watching Netflix. It was 4am. And I notice he starts to look uncomfortable, starts shifting in bed and holding his arm. He wakes up in so much pain and all I can do is hold him. He starts crying and my heart is breaking because I feel like I can’t do anything to help. He grabs my hand and asks for help but I couldn’t do anything.. I just sit up with him and try to comfort him the best I could. Eventually the pain dulls and isn’t as bad and we but icy-hot on his entire arm and shoulder and he is able to fall back asleep. It happened twice that night.. and all I could do is just sit there.. there was nothing I could do. I felt useless. But he told me that just me being there helped. I thought I was going to lose him. I thought that I was going to watch the love of my life die. And I can’t tell you all of the things that were going through my head. I was just so worried. I stayed up most of the night before I realize I had fallen asleep sometime around 7am. He had to go to work the next morning at 9am so when he woke up, I woke up to make sure everything was okay. He wasn’t in as much pain but I really didn’t want him going to work... but he insisted. Because #covid-19 was just then starting to be a major scare. He went to work that day in a lot of pain because he knew other people needed help.
He is THE strongest person I have ever met in my entire life. He inspires me to do better and work harder. And I love taking care of him. And being there for him when he needs me most.
There are so many things that make me fall in love with him all over again.. so here are a few:
1) He can fall asleep in almost any position. When he lays in a recliner, he lays on his stomach fully reclined back.
2) He love funko pops. He collects them and he love getting the mystery minis! Lemme tell ya, when this boy sees a box of mystery minis, his face lights up and his eyes are full of excitement. Every time we are anywhere that sells either of them, he says “we have to go check!” and we do just that. I love seeing him fill with happiness and excitement when we find them. It makes me heart warm and happy.
3) His routine everyday before he leaves for work. Everyday before he leave work, he will come back in the bedroom and cuddle me before he leaves. He always kisses me goodbye and tells me “to do something fun today ❤️”. And I love it.
4) His body isn’t the best at regulating itself. So most of the time, my boy is always either freezing or sweating buckets. So usually when he sleeps, he is always flipping the blanket on and off of him. And on the nights where he is freezing, he steals the blanket.
5) He loves his Chipotle. (So do I!!)
I can’t remember which birthday, before he and I met, he had a burrito cake. And it was a Chipotle burrito. And Our first date was Chipotle and ever since then it’s always been really special to me. (Plus it’s delicious).
He absolutely loves ranch. Once he found an entire gallon size jug at Walmart, picked it up and just looked so happy.
7) One thing he does when he gets excited is: “WOoOOOOoOOOOOooooO!!” And it is the cutest thing in the entire world.
There are many more but those are just a few things that make me fall in love with him everyday.
He is my whole world and I love him more than anything.
