MOVING IN → CASEY & JAMES
caseyxjames:
Casey whispers a quiet thank you in her head when James let her go by without an interruption. He’s always been very easily able to persuade her to his side of things, so for once, she’s glad she has the upper hand. (Sort of. Ish.)
She nods at his words, rolling her luggage to park it by the couch. She takes a moment to look around, taking in James’s home. It’s totally so ‘him’. She recalls to vividly the many times she’d go into his old room at the house before and just absorb. When she missed or him. Or when she was trying not to. Trying to build up a tolerance to missing him. Or something like that. A lot of things you do don’t make sense when you’re ridden with depression.
She swallows the lump in her throat when she’s had her little moment, collecting herself and walking over to the kitchen area where her brother begins preparation for his famous Mac N Cheese. A dish she misses to be honest. She’s tried to recreate it by herself but it was never quite like his.
She opens the fridge and takes out a container of apple juice. She knows it would be absurd for a grown man to have boxes of apple juice in his fridge, but she wishes so hard James did in that moment because now she’d have to ask him where his glasses are kept and she’s never felt right about rummaging through things that aren’t hers no matter how upset she is.
“Uh– glasses?”
So despite being adamant that things would stay frosty between them, Casey was here. And sure, it would probably be frosty for a little while, but it could only last for so long? … Right? Casey would put up a good fight, that’s for sure. But James was willing to do anything to make amends.
“Second drawer on your left,” James said, glancing over to her. He paused and looked at the pan for a while. “Hey, so do you want cheesy or extra cheesy?” He snorted. “Who am I kidding? Of course you want extra cheesy.”
He made his way beside her and reached up and opened the cupboard, grabbing a few more ingredients he needed. “There’s Pop Tarts and Fruit Loops in here too,” he said, looking at her and pointing at the open cupboard. “And you can turn the TV on if you wanna watch Netflix.” He chuckled. “I was watching Star Wars the other day and I remembered back when…”
He trailed off. He was going off and it may be too much for Casey.
He cleared his throat. “I’ll… I’ll call you when it’s ready. Make yourself at home, kiddo.”
Her time in the kitchen grew tense, especially after the mention of ‘Star Wars’. James had a habit of just ‘falling into it’, she guessed. She’s thankful he was as aware of this as she was. With pursed lips, she takes her apple juice and a Pop Tart and makes her way back to the living room. She doesn’t respond to the mention of ‘kiddo’ and simply nods before she completely exits.
There should be some sort of guide for this. Once she sits herself on the couch and flips on the TV, she realizes: she has no idea what she’s actually doing. How can the person that once made you so happy make you so sad? How can you feel so resistant to something so familiar? James’ home is absolutely foreign to her yet somehow, she feels like she’s not out of place. That even if this life he started without her, there was very much a place for her to fit in it should she desire.
She turns cartoons on but doesn’t really pay attention. She can’t focus on actual dialogue or anything with actual humans right now, so she just lets it play to have something to look at it. She sips on her drink, occasionally bite into her Pop Tart until its half eaten, and somewhere in the blur of it all, it settles on her that she’s just sitting there. Waiting for him. Deep down, she knows she’s had too much of being alone. But it would be so unfair to make it easy. It shouldn’t be easy. What frightens her so much is that it can be. She just has to budge. But it’s not fair, is what she thinks. Doesn’t he deserve some of it as well? Whatever she felt? She’s not sure if the spite is genuine or if it’s something she’s just believed is the necessary from social learning, but... it seems... normal? The only normal thing she understands in the midst of all this.
