cassian | 20 | he/him | informal/casual writeblr | formerly theundesirablesouls | ao3 is cassi_eats_cockroaches | main is jezebel-deflowered | always open to fact swaps
Hey everyone! I have been on writeblr several times, but fell out of it for a long time. Now that I'm back in the groove, I decided to start up a new blog in the hopes of getting back into the community.
My primary name is Cassian. My pronouns are he/him and I am 20 years old. I have been writing since I was 8.
I don't know if I will ever publish professionally, as I don't have much desire to at this time. However, I am working on a few different websites for my original work, and I will be posting it on ao3 as well.
While I have many WIPs, several of them are on the backburner for now. The two that you will be hearing most about on this blog (for now) are:
the hollows in our minds
a girl who collects other people's memories is intrigued by the case of nine friends who have mysteriously disappeared (fantasy, but like - my own brand)
as said the whore of babylon
a series of stories centered around a polyamorous metal band and the makeup artist they fall in love with (contemporary, based on an rp between me and my best friend)
LINKS:
@jezebel-deflowered - main blog
throughtheangelseye - my own ao3
saidthewhoreofbabylon - ao3 between me n my bestie
Hey everyone! I have been on writeblr several times, but fell out of it for a long time. Now that I'm back in the groove, I decided to start up a new blog in the hopes of getting back into the community.
My primary name is Cassian. My pronouns are he/him and I am 20 years old. I have been writing since I was 8.
I don't know if I will ever publish professionally, as I don't have much desire to at this time. However, I am working on a few different websites for my original work, and I will be posting it on ao3 as well.
While I have many WIPs, several of them are on the backburner for now. The two that you will be hearing most about on this blog (for now) are:
the hollows in our minds
a girl who collects other people's memories is intrigued by the case of nine friends who have mysteriously disappeared (fantasy, but like - my own brand)
as said the whore of babylon
a series of stories centered around a polyamorous metal band and the makeup artist they fall in love with (contemporary, based on an rp between me and my best friend)
LINKS:
@jezebel-deflowered - main blog
throughtheangelseye - my own ao3
saidthewhoreofbabylon - ao3 between me n my bestie
A little list of OC questions based on the seven types of love identified in Ancient Greek thought. Obviously this is a highly simplified presentation of some quite complex philosophical concepts from Classical History, intended more for the purposes of entertainment than education. I also left out Mania, which is arguably an eighth type of love (Obsessive), because I'm keeping it mostly positive in these tricky times!
Eros – Romantic, Passionate Love.
Is your OC romantic in the traditional sense? Do they enjoy giving or receiving gifts of flowers or confectionary? Or are there other courtship traditions from their culture of origin that are important to them?
How important is sex to them in a relationship? Do they see it as something essential to their happiness? Would they be able to remain in a monogamous relationship with someone they loved without sex?
How do they feel about public displays of romantic affection? Does it make them uncomfortable? How do they feel if a romantic partner kisses them in public?
Do they believe in love at first sight? Have they ever developed a crush or romantic (or erotic) fixation upon a stranger based on their appearance alone?
How closely is their opinion of their own beauty (or lack thereof) linked to their confidence? Do they see themselves as more or less worthy of love or sex based on how attractive they feel?
Philia – Affectionate, Platonic Love.
Does your OC have a Best Friend? If they do then how long have they known each other and how did they meet? If they don't then do they have a close group of friends they love equally? Or are they more of a loner?
Does your OC find it easy to make friends? Or are there barriers to them doing so? If so then are these due to issues of inclination, communication, or something else entirely?
What qualities does your OC most value in a friend? Loyalty? Shared sense of humour? Or something else?
Is your OC able to build close friendships with people very different from themselves? Perhaps in terms of culture, age or personality?
What is their most fervent wish for their best friend(s)? How far would they go to make it happen?
Storge – Unconditional, Familial Love.
Did your OC's parents love them unconditionally? If so then has this helped them feel confident as an adult? If not then how has this affected them? What were the conditions their family attached to their relationship?
Does your OC have children? If so then how fiercely do they love them? If they have more than one then do they love them all equally? If they do not have children then is this part of their future plans?
How far does parental approval (imagined or expressed) impact upon their current sense of self-worth? What might they sacrifice or attempt to achieve in order to ensure the approval of their parents?
Does your OC have any siblings? If so then did their parents have a favourite growing up? Has their relationship with their sibling changed in adulthood? If they don't have any siblings then do they perhaps feel they have missed out on an important relationship? Do they have any especially close friends who go some way towards filling that role?
Is your OC able to love without necessarily needing or expecting reciprocation or reward? Or are all their relationships to some extent transactional? Have they ever loved another person unconditionally, whether a child or another adult?
Agape – Selfless, Universal Love.
Does your OC wish to make the world a better place? How far do they see that as being their responsibility? What lengths would they go to in order to help achieve this?
Does your OC feel a spiritual connection to the world around them? Do they have a particular love for nature or living things?
To what extent does your OC believe in the value (or even existence) of true altruism? Do they see an unselfish concern for the welfare of others as being naïve or foolish? Or as a moral quality to which people should aspire?
Does your OC have a religious faith which emphasises the importance of a love for all people? If so then do they try to follow these teachings authentically? Or do they just pay lip-service to them? If not then do they follow a more martial or mercantile faith? Or none at all?
Does your OC find it easy to empathise with their enemies? Or do they see it as important to dehumanise them in order to combat them with sufficient determination?
Ludus – Playful, Flirtatious Love.
Does your OC have any particular favourite chat up lines? If not for themselves then perhaps ones they have suggested to a friend? How effective do these tend to be?
Is your OC particularly skilled at flirting? Have they had to practice this or does it just happen naturally?
How does your OC feel about one night stands? Have they ever enjoyed a night of passionate romance with a stranger? Is this something they are quite keen on recreationally? Or only something they might engage in under specific circumstances (such as the eve of a battle or after a difficult breakup)?
Who was your OC's first crush? How do they feel about it now?
What seduction techniques are most likely to be effective when it comes to your OC? Are there some things guaranteed to get them going? Or are they immune to such things?
Pragma – Committed, Long-Lasting Love.
Is your OC in a committed long-term relationship (or relationships)? If so then what has contributed to this relationship lasting so well? If they are not in such a relationship, then is this something that saddens them or which they regret?
What is the biggest challenge that your OC has had to overcome in a long-term relationship or friendship? What helped them get through this?
Are your OC's parents still together? To what degree do they look to their own parents as a model for their own ideal relationship?
After the initial fires of passion cool to some degree, what would keep your OC engaged in a relationship? Shared goals? Similar values? Or contented companionship?
What importance or value does your OC attach to marriage? Do they believe that it is important to make a public statement of commitment to another person (or persons)? Or are they more concerned about inheritance rights and security for their family? Or do they not see marriage as a necessary signifier of commitment and loyalty?
Philautia – Self Love.
Does your OC have a healthy sense of their own worth and value? Or do they see themselves as failing to live up to their original potential? Perhaps they are convinced of their own sinful or inadequate nature?
Does your OC believe that it is important to love themselves in the first instance? Perhaps in order to be able to give and receive love authentically? Or because they believe first and foremost in "looking after number one"?
Does your OC judge themselves by the same standards as they apply to others? Or are they sometimes hypocritical in condemning others for faults they also possess? Or perhaps they find it easier to forgive others for things that they cannot abide in themselves?
Which of your OC's qualities makes them the most proud? Do they think more people should be like them in this regard? Or do they quite like being rare in possessing it?
Has your OC always had the same opinion of themselves or has this changed over time? Have they learned to love themselves - perhaps with the help of others - as their journey progressed? Or have the consequences of their actions only served to erode their sense of self-worth?
THE ENTITIES METALLUM •/ an art project by @cassi-eats-cockroaches
Hey everyone!! I am back w/ an art project in addition to my writing projects!
"The Entities Metallum" is an ongoing creative project centering around painting and music. Each entry in this project is a painting of an entity inspired by a song/album of my choice. These entities are named and will be given their own lore in time.
If anyone would like to be tagged in these posts, or any of my art, hmu!
Word Count: 43966 (Oops, it's still a novella, lmao)
As usual, this post will contain the following:
Excerpt (because it's been a while)
What I Loved
What I Didn't Love
What Happens Next
However, because this is the last draft before self-editing and beta rounds, pay particular attention to that last part!
Excerpt:
From the last full chapter:
He nods. “Lykos. My name is Lykos.”
“Lykos.” Zev claps his hands together. “Well! To answer your question, Sadie and I will introduce you to Dagny and the Society and help you get started acclimating to the real world, but only when you’re ready.”
“Until then, stay here,” Sadie adds. “I have a pull-out couch, and Zev, don’t look at me like that; you live in a studio. I have room.”
“Fine, fine, but I insist on taking him shopping.”
“You have a TA’s salary.”
“And you, darling, have work in the morning.”
As the two of them went back and forth about near-feature, the Librarian, Alexandria, Lykos again for the first time in two millennia, couldn’t help but smile at the world outside. He came so close to throwing it all away, and for that, he’s a fool, he knows. But here in this moment, flanked by two people who stared down a god for him, he feels only warmth and solidity. His feet are on the ground, and the face of the future, as blurry and uncertain as it is, radiates with soft sunlight. He faces it and knows, for once, that no matter what happens, no matter how hard the mountainous uncertainty before him is to climb, here, right here, between two people who have waited years for him to wake up, he’s finally home.
-
What I Loved:
Now that's a question.
I mean, did I like bits and pieces? Yes. Did I come to appreciate lines here or there? Also yes. Did I come out of this feeling as if I have a solid draft?
Sort of. I'm more certain of the direction the book is heading in, yes. I know I've talked about this now and then, but one of the things that I was most unsure about was whether or not this book has given up any of its tooth—that angsty punchiness draft 1 had. It spends a lot less time in Lykos's head, but it also rationalizes a lot of his decisions more and makes it a lot clearer that, no, he's the one who needs to change. So yes, he walks out of this draft a much stronger character than what he was in draft 1.
Furthermore, yes, it's stronger than draft 3. There were parts I had to rewrite again and again, and transcribing everything was like putting puzzle pieces together. Transcription surprisingly let me put distance between myself and my writing, so I was actually able to see what I was doing from a bird's eye view. As in, normally, I'm usually in the thick of it, elbow-deep in the prose, so I don't see how things fit together and whether or not lines I'm unsure about could be tossed. Transcription, on the other hand, made the decision to cut or not cut so much easier because I could see how different parts interacted with each other. There are, of course, parts that I'm still uncertain about—parts that seem to be rewritten or out of order, lines that are redundant, paragraphs that don't seem to fit all that much but are here anyway, and I wish I took better notes about this while writing draft 3. But by and large, I'm surprised I have far fewer of those parts to sort out than I thought I did. No doubt I'll be able to clean those up in self-editing/draft 5.
-
What I Didn't Love:
Everything else. Do not do this.
Transcription is painful. It's tedious, you can't let yourself get distracted with it (unless you're amazing at keeping your place), and let me tell you. You will encounter moments where you're staring at a line and asking yourself, "Literally what does this mean? What does this even mean?" (See note about paragraphs that don't seem to fit above.)
Those lines were the ones I wrote sober, by the way. I literally have no explanation behind some of the bullshit past me wrote in those journals. The chicken scratch that also happened in those journals happened while I was dead fucking sober. Literally, the best parts were the ones I wrote when I was chain-slamming cans of sativa seltzer. Which should probably not be the best takeaway, but you know.
But also, the other downside of transcription is the distance it puts between you and your work. Yes, I know I said that was a perk, and when you're editing, it really is a boon. However, I really do feel like I'm falling out of love with AtB. It's personal, yes. It's cathartic, also yes. But I don't think I was ever really excited about sitting down to work on it this round. It was like. Transcription made it work. By the end of it, it felt like the characters were the strongest they can be but also still weak, that the plot was (almost) the most cohesive it can be but also a chore to get through. I don't think it's all objectively these things (a creator's opinion of their own work will always be biased and never reflect the work accurately, etc, etc), but working on it like this made it so much harder.
But I guess that's also why you don't see me talking about Lykos and crew as often as I used to, other than complete and utter TNS brainrot. It wasn't easy to complete this draft, no.
-
What Happens Next:
Excellent goddamn question.
Let's start off with where we left off last time. The survey results from the last draft's wrap-up came in, and there was a perfectly even split between querying for traditional publication and just self-publishing. Over the next few months, I've really come to realize I want to self-publish.
Weirdly, you can probably blame Kevin Smith for that. Yes, I bring him up a lot on this blog, but honestly, every time I rewatch Clerks or Clerks III (which is probably more often than I should admit), I just get this reminder that there's nothing wrong with underground art, the sort that's made to be appreciated but not made to be appreciated by literally everyone. I miss those days where you ran around with beat-up camera equipment and printed zines in your basement. It wasn't a perfect time, but it was a genuine one. Which isn't to say that people aren't genuine now. It's just. Different.
(I went off on a tangent there, I know, but the short of it is I still think about how Kevin Smith was like, "I did my cult classic already." Like, aim for appreciation, not awards or popularity. I refuse to stop talking about how much Kevin Smith is exactly who I want to be as a creator.)
So I've decided to self-publish AtB and The Arcadia because that's just truer to what those two projects are. They're niche projects that the creator fully understands aren't going to appeal to everyone, and that's the whole point of it. But that's getting into marketing, which we'll talk about later.
For now, the timeline looks like this:
This week: Let the draft cool. Do something else, idk.
Next week through March: Self-editing.
Mid-March: Call for beta readers goes up.
April to July: Beta reading phase.
August: Incorporate notes + final edit.
September to October: Designing the book and getting together everything I need to get this book launched.
Also October: Call for ARC readers goes up.
November/December: Publication! (Will work out the details when we're closer/I figure out how release works from the self-publishing side of things. Usually, from a trad pub angle, production schedules run for about six months from the completion of the manuscript or three months after the book is fully designed and signed off on, but that usually involves going through a printing company, etc.)
Now, you'll notice a couple of things about this schedule, which I'd also like to talk about here.
First and foremost, unless literally nobody signs up for a beta read, I'm not paying for an editor. I'm also not paying for a designer, including cover designer. This isn't because I don't want to but instead because, if you're aware of my life situation, you know money's extremely tight. I know I put in a question about Kickstarter/crowdfunding a book launch in the old survey, but, uh. The answer to that question was not enough people voted yes for that to be viable.
So . . . hence the request for beta readers. And the reliance on self-editing. If literally nobody signs up, then I'll see what I've got in terms of funding.
The other thing missing here is a marketing campaign. I plan on making an author's website and newsletter, and of course the ARC giveaway is a thing (mostly because I know of at least one prospective reader who cannot buy books at the moment), but I actually . . . don't want to do a social media campaign? Or preorder giveaway? Or anything of the sort? A lot of it has to do with having no time/energy/money to do it, but also, I'm not an influencer. I don't have the right look for it, I'm socially anxious, and though my partner supports whatever makes me happy, trauma means I sure as fuck do not just do things, you know? Anyway, the point is I do not gel well with what's basically an extension of influencer culture. I cannot do videos, I cannot sit down and do hours of graphics, etc, etc.
That and, well. Being an influencer isn't who I want to be as a creator, nor does it mesh with the sort of art I want to create. I don't want to create accounts just to promote my work, and I don't want to do what a lot of self-published authors seem to be doing these days (spending hours promoting their work, that is). I understand that's a necessary evil if you want to be successful as an author, but I think it goes back to what I was saying regarding Kevin Smith: I'd rather have one cult classic, loved by the people my art resonates with, than a box-office hit that everyone talks about. I feel like it's unfortunate that writeblr and other online writing spaces talk endlessly about either marketing properly or how important engagement is when creating for a niche audience is just as perfectly valid as a form of art. You do not need to sell your time and energy to market, I think. You shouldn't have to, and you shouldn't have to be made to feel that way by people who can effortlessly net attention for everything they do.
That said, yes, I'm aiming to get AtB the lowest key release I can possibly have for it. Posts here, yes. Maybe posts on Instagram if I feel like starting that up again (because I was already considering going back to it—not as an author Insta but instead as a "hey, here's a pretty picture of where I'm writing" Insta). But zero Tiktok and not even remotely the recommended hours guides recommend for promoting your work. In short, the shittiest marketing plan you can conceive for a book, reliant entirely on reviews from people who were going to read the book anyway. As God intended.
And in the end, it really makes the most sense for AtB. You can't fucking describe this book in a way that makes it sound appealing. Trust me. I've been tossing around blurbs for months. But ultimately, it's a book that centers around a place you can only get to if you stumble across it when you need it. Tell me that not marketing the book doesn't fit that.
(Okay, maybe it's also the lack of self-confidence talking.)
Tl;dr, pay attention in mid-March for the beta reader call and mid-October for ARCs.
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Tag Lists and Thank Yous:
You after reading all of that:
But seriously, thank you for making it all the way through this post, and for sticking with AtB for this long. I know I haven't really talked about this project as much as I used to (thank TNS for that), but it is exciting to see it come just a bit closer to publication. Update posts like these might be fewer and further between for AtB, but we'll talk again when the beta notes roll in.
Themes: Broken father/daughter, girl x girl, secrets, prisoners, protecting a place from corruption, criminals on the run.
Years ago, a group of people committed a crime that shocked the world, and then disappeared off the face of the earth. The police have never managed to find the few that were identified. Elizabeth Trevino, Carter Hale, Soo-Jin Min, Nasir Nahdi and Owen Beam seemed to miraculously disappear into thin air.
•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•
Edgar Simmons' estate seemed to have a magical quality to it. Off the grid, nobody could ever find it, and Edgar had enough money to keep it that way for as long as he wanted.
This is why Lizzie knew she had to hide her friends, and herself, from the police there, no matter the cost. And the cost was working for Edgar—obeying his every word so that he would allow them to hide on his property.
After three years, they were all sick of Edgar. His questionable demands and unethical behaviour had begun to irritate their consciences. The only thing is, without Edgar on their side, they would likely go straight to prison for the sins of their past.
They try a different tactic—figuring out what exactly is so special about the estate, why Edgar is so particular about it and so attached to it, and why it is that the estate seems to have a life of it's own.
However, the facts that they learn about the estate nigh defy belief, and put into question their desire to leave, and their hatred of Edgar.
Edgar Simmons—Edgar owns the estate, and is in charge of all the people who live there. His mysterious goal seems to be tied in with the estate he owns, and he pursues what he wants ruthlessly, manipulating those around him.
Ryan Simmons—Edgar's defiant daughter, Ryan longs to be independent, but she also wishes that she could see her father more when he isn’t working. The older she gets, though, the less she trusts him, and the more she trusts the staff under his control.
Wendy Langston—Wendy is the youngest worker of Edgar's, and inherited her job off of her parents once they passed away. She takes care of the house and the objects in it, but is slowly falling in love with Ryan, a fact that could push her out of favour with Edgar.
Arthur Aphelion—Arthur is one of the only close workers who doesn’t actually live on the estate, although he longs to take it over off Edgar. Arthur is almost fifty, and finds Edgar's work to be something that gives his life renewed purpose, as Edgar thinks he is absolutely irreplaceable.
Elizabeth Trevino—Lizzie, as she is known, has the most unpleasant job of all, as the woman who delivers all of Edgar's messages. She's usually quite kind, and despises her job, and her desire to stop doing it and go home to her life before drives all her actions.
Carter Hale—Carter acts mainly as a bodyguard for Edgar when he needs it, and also works as a bodyguard for Ryan, although she never leaves the estate without her father. Carter has a soft spot for Lizzie, and looks after the rest of the staff without hesitation, completely unafraid of Edgar.
Soo-Jin Min—Soo-Jin is the gardener for the estate, and like the others, she absolutely despises Edgar. She's good friends with Lizzie, and the pair can often be found together, when Lizzie isn't away. She longs to go home, as one of their partners in crime who managed to keep his name out of the law was her husband, abd she misses him deeply.
Nasir Nahdi—Nasir works with Lizzie as one of Edgar's messengers, but unlike Lizzie he tries to think of it like a job he needs to do and leaves all responsibility for it in his mind to Edgar. He has a close understanding with Wendy, who doesn't tend to feel close to many people, and tries to simply protect his own.
Owen Beam—Owen is the nicest to Edgar out of the staff, but is very nervous of him. He’s very sweet to Ryan, and thinks that she should get off the estate when she can. He's best friends with Carter, but close to everybody on staff. His job is mainly to cook, but this allows him to eavesdrop on conversations the others don't hear.
Dahlia Cherith—Dahlia is Ryan's biological mother, although the pair have not met at the beginning of the book. Dahlia hears of Edgar's schemes and gets tied up in them, sending her on a path that leads her directly to her daughter.
Yes it's sweet when your fave adopts the plucky child they've just met, but the best trope is when the child finds the tallest, gruffest old man they can find and says 'yeah, I'm gonna be his problem now'.
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