the only things I can serve are dead eyes and rot

19 | she/her | constantly tired, dissociate more than I actually live, forget anything and everything, but I'm nice I promise

[cassiusbunny]

I'd like to think that one of the reasons Jude was so determined to remain an active presence in Felix's life was to act as a safety net for him.

To reassure Felix that even if one day he somehow lost all his friends and became that lonely child again, he'd still always have Jude.

[cassiusbunny]

How I look every night trying to revive the A Little Life fandom which will then lead to a chain of events convincing Hanya Yanagihara to release the recorded London play:

[cassiusbunny]

Do you guys think Willem would be cancelled for dating Jude Supervillian Lawyer St Francis?

[cassiusbunny]

Okay I want you to watch this and imagine it's the people below Jude at the firm doing their impressions of Jude

[cassiusbunny]

What was with Mr Irvine's passive agressive beef with Malcolm 😭🙏 leave that boy ALONE

[cassiusbunny]

People at work referring to Jude as St Francis. Not just Jude. Not just Francis. But St Francis. Saint Francis.

[janhooks]

you can still be an ethereal waif as a 50 year old partner at a law firm

[mostpowerfulwizard]

[mimibaldstenrotting]

just found out the french title of a little life is “A life like the others” and now I kind of need to sit in the corner and scream in agony

[cassiusbunny]

Jude St Francis the Totally Normal Guy. Yep nothing strange here. No that stare of his isn't unsettling at alllllll you're 🫵 the weird one

[cassiusbunny]

hello hi I hope you're having a good day 🩷

I was curious about you're thoughts on the way self harm as a coping mechanism is handled in a little life

I have contrasting feelings about it tbh as someone who had experience with sh in the past and I would love to know what you think specifically

love love love your posts 🙏

Omg THANK YOU I'm so flattered 🤭🤭

Oh brother don't get me STARTED on how much criticism I have for this damn book. I feel like you have three groups when it comes to this book:

1. The community love the book (but have little to no criticisms for it)

2. The community who hate the book 100%

3. And then you got this niche third group who love the book, but also acknowledge that in many ways, it's a terribly written book.

I feel like we need to address the elephant in the room which is that Hanya Yanagihara has some very questionable views on therapy and the discipline of psychology as a whole. The lack of research she refused to do definitely shows in the novel.

But then I don't wanna completely torch her because I know so many people feel seen by Jude's character, so even if there are many bits in the novel which are questionable, I appreciate that she made a character that so many people could connect with.

ANYWAY ONTO ANSWERING YOUR ACTUAL QUESTION 😭😭🙏

Like I said before, I bet there are people who definitely feel seen by this specific depiction of of SH, but then again I also have some mixed feelings about it.

I feel like a big thing that was missing in this depiction is that SH is an addiction. And as with any addiction, quitting is incredibly hard.

"You go from having endorphins on tap to having absolutely nothing" - this was one person explaining why it was so hard for them to quit.

Though of course not everyone's reasoning is the same (Jude describes needing a way to express how he feels on the inside, and he also describes needing a way to punish himself for feeling happy) - I think the general addiction theme is present for Jude whether Hanya intended it or not.

And yet, for some reason, none of the characters refer to Jude as having an addiction.

I have a theory as to why the word 'addiction' is avoided for Jude's SH. I honestly kind of think addiction in this book is demonised. As in it's treated like a moral failing, rather than a serious mental health issue.

I mean you look at the way JB is treated in the book compared to Jude. It's strange. It's sus. I have a ton of things to say about the treatment of JB's character, but I won't get into that in this post.

But moving further, as a result of this refusal to acknowledge Jude's problem as a form of addiction, the other characters are honestly pretty useless in helping Jude.

Like one bit that honestly pisses me off is when Willem is about to go off on a shoot, and before he leaves, he goes to Jude. "Don't cut at all while I'm gone. For me? 🥺" and then explodes and borderline attacks Jude when he doesn't listen.

LIKE WHAT

On what PLANET would that have worked, Willem???? Like first, Willem knows by now that Jude has a really hard time being alone, and so Willem is literally picking the WORST time to ask this. But then second, Jude is given literally nothing to help him fight this addiction, and yet Willem expects Jude to be all "Look Willem! I got over a decades long addiction JUST cause you told me not to give in!"

It's like going to someone with OCD "Just don't do your compulsions :/" LIKE GIRL I WISH????

But back to Willem. He lashes out awfully on Jude because of this. And it's genuinely so hard to read / witness because no, you don't deserve to be painfully held down, yelled at, or have a razor THROWN at you because you relapsed into an addiction.

And again. It's treating addiction like a moral failing, and this whole situation rubbed me all the wrong ways.

Now that I'm really thinking about it, it's also treating mental illness as a whole as a moral failing? The second a person with a mental illness becomes inconvenient or their problems manifest in ways which society deems displeasing, they get attacked.

And omg Andy is whole other thing. But I'll end it here for now.

Please let me know your thoughts! Let me know the things you liked or didn't like about Hanya's depiction. Also feel free to counter my points because obvs these are just my subjective observations and I love hearing your guys' thoughts.

[cassiusbunny]

Jude likes doing things like cooking and cleaning. But when Willem visits Rosen Pritchard, he can't believe that Jude could enjoy what he considers the "intellectual equivalent of housework". Come on, Willem. Catch up

[cassiusbunny]

Harold talks about that look Jude gets whenever someone pushes too hard on questioning his past or his more harmful behaviours towards himself.

Harold says, "You know the one i'm talking about" - that unsettling look Jude gets where you can practically see him retreating away internally.

Occasionally, we see Jude lash out a bit more harshly / openly. But he apparently did this look often enough for it to be this recognisable to Harold (and Willem).

Anyway, a bit of a rouge comparison is that scene in Obsession where Nicky goes:

"...No no no no don't do that. I thought we were having a nice day. Why does it matter? I thought we were having a nice day"

Like obviously Jude is much more quiet in his frustration, but the general energy is there. Like at one point in his perspective, Jude mourns a nice day with his friend being ruined by said friend asking questions.

[cassiusbunny]

Listening to the audiobook version of A Little Life made me remember how endearing Jude finds Malcolm. Like that's Jude's shayla

[cassiusbunny]

I love how in the dutch stage play of A Little Life when Jude goes to see JB for the first time after their first fight (about the painting), Jude walks up to JB and tuts at him while JB is standing with his head down and stuff

[cassiusbunny]

I swear Jude had a godson who was mentioned at some point in passing

[nahmann]

Everyone always wanna start reading classical literature after finishing Tsh but no one wants to start lifting. No one wants to do some calisthenics. No ur not Henrymaxxing dork, ur Francismaxxing. Lazy ahh

[cat-brodsky]

nib pens in “the secret history”

“Guess what. Henry bought himself a Montblanc pen.” Bunny nodded at the cup of sleek black pens that sat on Julian’s desk. “How much are those things worth, anyway? Three hundred bucks a pop? I remember when you used to say how ugly they were. You used to say you’d never write with a thing in your life but a straight pen. Right? […] Now, what kind of pens do we all use here? François, you’re a nib-and-bottle man like myself, no?”

A nib pen, without delving too much into history, is a pen which uses a nib, typically made of metal, to transfer ink onto paper. Yes, it’s the posh pen y’all know and love.

Nib pens come in two varieties - dip pens, which are dipped into the ink bottle, and fountain pens, which have some kind of a reservoir to hold ink. The header photo depicts a close-up of a fountain pen - mine uses ink cartridges.

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