c-moneyy

✨california raised, tennessee living✨

[dimir-charmer]

Girls will be like Idk why im so unproductive recently and then you ask whats going on in their life and they list eight lifestopping crisies and then say 'yeah but i should be fine :/ '

[slkv]

gentle reminder: your voice and your presence is a comfort to someone; maybe a friend, maybe an animal, maybe to yourself; even if you don't notice.

[oh-archivist]

me: how am i single

me: *emotionally detached, picky af, doesn’t go out at all, has disgusting habits, too shy to talk to anyone they find cute, etc.*

me: how am i single

[kunstbaby-deactivated20150808]

friends can break ur heart too

[narwhalsarefalling]

MY TA SHOT SOMEONE IN THE FOOT AND THE PROFESSOR WAS SO FUCKING QUICK LMAOOO

[narwhalsarefalling]

some context 

1. my TA, Ralph, shot his girlfriend’s abusive ex in the foot

2. abusive ex was also a sex offender

3. he shot him when ex came buy to pick some stuff up from girlfriend and tried to take some of Ralph’s items as well

4. ex is stable and alive in a hospital

5. i didn’t do assignment 8 so i am very happy

[narwhalsarefalling]

some more Facts About Ralph

he is whiter then snow. this man is pure 100% american redneck in everything but the politics. this is intimidating if you dont know him because he owns like 3 different guns but also has animated discussions about “how his sister should be able to get married” when you bring up lgbt rights. his sister isnt even gay or trans or anything, he just thinks that LGBT rights also means that the lady should propose when she wants to. hes a little confused but he got the spirit. upon finding out that i am queer he said, word for word “THATS FUCKING RADICAL HOMIE” 

in the first week of school he snorted a line of pepper in the cafeteria and threw up.

the only other crime hes committed before was accidently dropping a weight from his balcony and cracking the sidewalk. which is technically destruction of public property but the judge basically laughed at him and have him 10 hours of community service

this man once walked me home when i stayed late at the lab and talked to me animatedly about breeding brine shrimp for different lab purposes. absolutely captivated by this discussion. i trust him with my life

[caroldanversenthusiast]

this is simply the greatest video i have ever seen

[arandomcollectionofstuff]

I'm going to reblog this a million times so be it

[kiran-wears-science-blues]

#i love how they give up on the dumb gimmick and just make her do increasingly inane trick shots

[sindri42]

Reminded of that time the xkcd guy was trying to research what sports equipment would be most effective for destroying enemy drones in flight and he looked up a bunch of stats about pro tennis player accuracy against stationary targets like 40 feet away, and figured that a really high level tennis pro might be able to hit the drone in 5-7 shots if they had the time and even then probably wouldn’t do enough damage to disrupt it more than momentarily.

And then Serena volunteered to test this theory and just, killed it instantly.

[sodamnaesthetic]

By X.Lan

[dreamilychocolatesoul]

Where the fuck is that person, just asking

[stupidandsadsblog]

@mistofresolving it you

[mistofresolving-deactivated2021]

@jinxargent right back at ya, dear friend

[silversarcasm]

*interacts with people*

*has to take a four hour nap*

[ampervadasz]

[chained-up-taekwoon]

[brokebackboys]

[unspokengrief]

im so scared the rest of my life is gonna feel like this

[highonawindyhill]

[zteph-deactivated20200818]

this wins over other pro-gay commercials because you had no idea he was gay and then you can’t tell which one is his husband

they are showing them as people

not as gays and straights

[fejes-deactivated20180123]

fuckin love this commercial

[vikingserket]

can we just talk abotu the fact that the husbands arent even bringing the drinks over theyre just standing there next to the drinks and chatting

fuckin useless husbands

[burairium-deactivated20130819]

they are showing anyone can be useless. Even gay people

they are saying that it doesn’t matter if you are gay or straight. You can still be a useless person

[cyrilthewolf]

this post got better

[whitepeopletwitter]

[lorem64]

I’m so confused why he would think cookie dough would give him salmonella??? What parent told him this. There’s no chicken in there!

[ankaa-avarshina]

Two words: Raw eggs.

[lorem64]

?? What kind of world do you live in where Raw eggs carry salmonella or are in anyway unsafe

[ankaa-avarshina]

Don’t ask me, ask them Americans. I’m an Asian just passing the word on

[phantoms-lair]

*deep breath* Though the risk is small, raw eggs can carry samonella.

MORE THREATENINGLY Raw wheat can carry E. Coli. However, if you don’t mind making your own cookie dough, you can easily make it safely.

Take your standard recipe. Omit the eggs. Eggs serve as a binding agent to hold the cookie together. Since we’re eating the dough raw, that’s not needed. Take the flour, put it in a pan and bake it at 350 for 7 minutes. Any E. Coli is now dead.

Just mix the rest of the ingredients together as the recipe is called for and BAM, perfectly safe edible cookie dough.

[crayyola-deactivated20220827]

Thank u so fucking much for this wisdom

[antique-scarecrow]

wait you’re telling my i can get E, Coli just FROM EATING FLOUR straight from the bag???

[kingantlion-deactivated20231130]

Why..why are you eating flour straight from the bag?

[studyblr]

me: i’m so motivated. i’m gonna do this. i will achieve everything

me, a second later: you know my bed is actually just…. better

[onlytwitterpics]

[teenscoolest]