✦ . incandescent glow

[castlefell]

໒ ˚ ✦ . 𝒄𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒍𝒆𝒇𝒆𝒍𝒍   is a   dependent    multi   -   muse   blog   for   a   private   group.   dni   unless   affiliated,   or   you   will   be   blocked.  explorations   in   ;   haunting   nightmares   with   an   obscure   feeling   of   familiarity,   fresh   beginnings   shrouded   in   deceit &   a   past   that   a   new   life   can't   alternate. 

( carrd. )

roster ; beneath read more.

an * indicates an original character . roster    ;    allison    argent,    brooklyn    kingston*,    celeste   hartley*,   conrad    fisher,    faye   richards*,   hazel   chen*,    john    b    routledge,    kiara    carrera,    lexi    howard,    mason    parker*,   maya   rodriguez*,   miles   calloway*,    nate    benson*,    olivia    holland*,   rafe    cameron,   stu   macher,   theo   hollis*   &   topper   thornton

[sophia-becketts]

MADISON BAILEY as KIARA CARRERA in

⏤ OUTER BANKS (S04)

[castlebuilt]

↷ ˚ ☾ ･ closed starter ; @castlefell ↷ ˚ ☾ ･ prue & rafe.

for   weeks   she'd   been   having   doubts,   and   little   glimpses   into   a   life   she   didn't   remember.   prue   wasn't   sure   what   it   was   that   finally   triggered   it   all   for   her.   one   minute,   she   was   still   convinced   that   she   was   from   terret's   cove,   that   she   was   just   slightly   confused.   the   next,   it   all   came   together.   she'd   panicked   in   her   bedroom   for   hours,   only,   it   didn't   bring   her   the   comfort   it   once   did.   she   didn't   belong   there,   and   she   was   finally   understanding   what   it   was   that   rafe   was   talking   about.   all   she   knew,   was   that   she   needed   to   see   him.   she   didn't   waste   any   time   in   heading   to   his   place,   because   she   knew   where   he   lived,   she   remembered   the   time   she   spent   there   with   him.   she   waited   impatiently   for   him   to   answer   the   door   when   she   arrived,   heart   hammering   in   her   chest.   when   he   finally   did   answer,   she   was   experiencing   mixed   emotions.   what   was   she   even   supposed   to   say   ?   “   rafe,   ”   she   stated   relief   evident   in   her   tone   as   she   met   his   gaze. 

[castlefell]

he   didn’t   get   many   visitors   at   his   place,   not   in   this   godforsaken   town.   most   knocks   on   the   door   meant   it   was   the   pogues   looking   for   sarah   -   at   least,   until   kie   lost   her   memories.   she   would   bang   on   the   door   every   damn   day   like   she   owned   the   place,   demanding   to   see   proof   of   life   from   sarah.   god,   he   was   glad   he   didn’t   have   to   deal   with   that   anymore.   this   must’ve   been   jj   then,   which   might’ve   been   even   worse   in   rafe’s   opinion.   so   he   wasn’t   thrilled   when   he   swung   the   front   door   open,   eyes   already   rolling   before   they   landed   on   her.   he   paused   for   a   brief   moment   ..   it   wasn’t   kiara.   rafe   could   tell   immediately,   he’d   know   prue   from   miles   away   at   this   point   no   matter   who   she   looked   like.   but   why   would   she   be   showing   up   at   his   door?   “   yeah,   i’m   -   “   the   male   cleared   his   throat,   brows   furrowed   as   he   stepped   aside   cautiously.   “   are   you   okay?   “   he   didn’t   want   to   get   his   hopes   up   for   anything.   she   knew   his   name,   so   that   wasn’t   surprising.   but   did   he   tell   her   where   he   lived   after   she   lost   her   memories?   he   didn’t   think   he   did.   

[daylightseen]

delaney had never been that kind of person. too much. maybe she had said too much about certain things, but she had never been called high energy or something of that sort. “i could probably use at least some energy, maybe not a boatload.” the blonde shrugged her shoulders. she didn't know what to think about what she would do with all of the energy if she had it. but she could definitely use it if she had some of it. energy was a commodity that she could use. she tilted her head as she looked at the other, a bit confused as she heard the words coming out of her mouth. “okay, i see where you were going, you had me worried for a second. but for me it's really just me and rhett. i don't know anybody else.” she shrugged her shoulders. “but i'm glad that you have friends here too.” delaney could only imagine. she hadn't met many people who had too much of a shared experience. but she wondered how often people would. she wanted to ask a lot of people she had met if they knew things about the town or anywhere else. but she worried if people would have the opposite reaction that the girl sitting with her had. “my son will be two soon. he's still little, so it's been weird being here with him, but i'm trying to get a routine down for both of us. it's been a bit difficult to focus in on it all. but there's some more fun stuff. for a long time i used to ride horses, and i've been trying to get back into that now that i'm here. where i was living before this didn't have a place big enough for that sort of thing.”

[castlefell]

she   could   sometimes   be   too   trusting   of   others,   and   it   had   led   brooklyn   to   being   burned   in   the   past.   she   was   open   and   honest   with   most   that   she   met,   but   had   been   warned   not   to   do   that   in   a   place   like   this.   the   girl   before   her   didn’t   seem   dangerous   though,   and   genuinely   brooklyn   was   just   happy   to   keep   her   mind   off   everything   going   on.   she   was   fine   having   a   genuine   conversation   with   a   kindhearted   person   -   at   least,   on   the   surface   it   seemed   exactly   like   that.   she   hoped   this   time   it   didn’t   end   up   getting   her   in   trouble   like   it   usually   did.   her   smile   was   bright   as   she   listened   to   the   female   talk   about   her   son   and   horses   though.   “that   sounds   amazing!”   she   had   never   been   able   to   ride   horses   growing   up,   mostly   due   to   living   in   the   city.   “is   your   son   liking   it   here   then?   i   guess   you   can   find   positives   everywhere   you   go,   if   you   look   hard   enough.”   recently   she’d   been   more   focused   on   the   negatives,   but   it   wasn’t   all   hopeless.   

[daylightseen]

belly never wanted to hurt anyone that she cared for. and for a time she felt like she was just doing that over and over again. but she was trying to put it behind her. and maybe this was some sort of fresh start, even if it was a weird way to begin anew. being in this new place brought such a new feeling, belly didn't know how to explain it all. but she was going to do her best. “horri--” belly shook her head as she narrowed her eyes at conrad. she could see the slight game he was playing at and she said, “hey,” slightly pulling the bag closer to her when she saw him leaning for another slice. “if it's really that bad then we should just toss it? i mean there's that ice cream place around the corner. brain freeze works just as good as a sugar coma, right?” she joked lightly, moving so that the bag was visible for him too, as if she would truly hide it from him. 

[castlefell]

neither   of   them   were   innocent   here,   and   conrad   knew   that   deep   down.   he   harbored   a   lot   of   anger   towards   belly   for   so   long,   but   he   had   been   grieving.   he   wasn’t   thinking   entirely   straight,   and   now   that   time   had   passed   he   was   able   to   admit   there   were   plenty   of   moments   he   should’ve   done   things   differently.   he   didn’t   want   to   waste   time   anymore,   not   when   life   seemed   so   precious   and   fleeting.   conrad   would   fix   things   -   even   if   it   meant   just   as   friends.   “   woah,   woah.   hey   !   let’s   not   make   rash   decisions.   “   he   rolled   his   eyes,   the   smile   growing   on   his   face.   only   belly   could   ever   bring   out   this   more   lighthearted   side   of   him.   “   we   could   do   both.   for   you,   not   for   me.   i’m   merely   going   to   accompany   you   to   make   sure   you   get   to   the   ice   cream   shop   safely.   “   didn’t   bother   taking   another   piece   though.   would   never   take   from   belly   even   if   they   were   joking   around.   

[daylightseen]

clare was maybe a little proud that she gave off manager energy if that even sounded right. but it was a good thing, in her mind. even if she wasn't the manager. she felt like she was always the kind of person who did take charge and do a lot of the work ever since she was young. so being mistaken for a manager felt right somehow. she just brushed it off, “oh i can find the email for the store, hold on it's somewhere around here.” she said, glancing down at the desk looking through the paperwork they had. she knew it was somewhere, there was an email system for authors and events and all other sorts of things too. “i'm always happy to meet someone who likes books like i do, so it would be nice to have someone to work with like that.” she glanced back up and held out a piece of paper with the store's email address on it. “i'm clare, by the way.”

[castlefell]

“   thank   you   so   much!   “   she   took   the   paper   with   excitement.   her   life   here   was   nice   enough,   lexi   would   consider   herself   fairly   privileged   but   it   was   also   boring.   maybe   some   wouldn’t   consider   a   job   at   a   bookshop   that   much   entertainment   but   to   lexi?   it   was   more   than   she   was   currently   doing   with   her   life.   maybe   she   could   meet   more   like   minded   individuals   and   broaden   her   very   small   horizons.   at   the   very   least,   she’d   get   to   read   all   day.   “   i’m   lexi!   it’s   really   great   to   meet   you.   i   swear   i’ve   lived   here   most   of   my   life   and   just   ..   must’ve   always   walked   right   past   this   store.   “   the   girl   explained.   “   are   you   guys   usually   busy?   or   do   you   have   a   lot   of   downtime   here?   “

[castlebuilt]

he   knew   he   should've   declined   the   request,   just   due   to   the   fact   that   she'd   only   recently   had   her   breakup,   but   declan   was   having   a   difficult   time   convincing   himself   to   do   that.   he   wanted   her,   and   he   didn't   really   have   a   reason   to   stop   himself   this   time   around.   brooklyn   was   single,   free   of   that   dickhead   ex.   he   could   make   her   feel   better,   take   her   mind   off   of   mason   and   that   was   what   he   wanted   to   do.   he   wanted   to   make   her   happy,   see   a   genuine   smile   on   her   features.   he   took   another   moment   to   contemplate   it,   staring   down   at   her.   “   okay,   ”   declan   relented   after   a   moment.   “   just   .   .   .   just   tell   me   if   you   want   to   stop,   okay   ?   ”   he   asked,   meeting   her   gaze.   then,   he   was   slowly   leaning   forward,   lips   pressing   against   hers   in   a   gentle   kiss.   he   would   let   her   set   the   pace,   would   give   her   whatever   it   was   that   she   needed.

[castlefell]

truthfully,   a   large   piece   of   her   always   did   belong   to   declan.   it   didn’t   matter   if   her   and   mason   just   broke   up,   she   was   never   truly   his.   her   heart   was   always   with   the   other   male,   and   brooklyn   was   sure   that   mason   knew   that   deep   down   too.   maybe   it   was   why   he’d   tried   so   hard   to   get   inside   of   her   head   and   mess   her   up.   maybe   it   worked,   but   not   in   the   ways   he   wanted.   not   in   the   ways   that   drove   her   away   from   declan.   “   yeah,   okay.   i   promise.   “   blonde   nodded   her   head   slowly,   though   she   didn’t   think   she   would   want   to   stop.   only   confirmed   further   when   their   lips   finally   connected.   it   had   been   awhile   since   they’d   kissed,   and   brooklyn’s   breath   was   nearly   taken   away   immediately.   her   hands   found   his   hair   with   ease,   tugging   gently   as   her   lips   parted   to   invite   him   to   deepen   the   kiss   between   them.   

[castlebuilt]

she'd   never   done   anything   like   this   before.   she'd   kissed   a   boy,   but   that   was   as   far   as   it   ever   went.   perhaps   that   had   to   do   with   the   fact   that   she   hadn't   ever   met   anyone   she   wanted   to   explore   things   with.   that   was,   until   nate   came   into   the   picture.   he   changed   everything.   he   encouraged   her   to   make   changes.   hell,   she'd   even   quietly   creeped   out   of   her   house   to   go   and   see   him   in   the   middle   of   the   night.   before   him,   she   would've   never   imagined   doing   anything   of   the   sort.   he   made   her   want   to   do   so   many   things,   encouraged   her   to   come   out   of   her   shell.   she   blushed   at   his   words,   aware   of   just   how   flushed   she   was   beginning   to   feel.   he   did   things   to   her   she'd   never   experienced,   but   she   wanted   to   keep   feeling   those   things   with   nate.   her   head   fell   back   slightly,   eyes   fluttering   shut   as   she   felt   his   lips   against   her   throat.   for   a   moment,   she   thought   it   felt   familiar,   like   she'd   been   there   with   him   before,   but   she   shook   the   feeling   off,   focusing   on   the   moment   she   was   currently   in.   eyes   slowly   opened   as   she   felt   his   hand   on   her   breast.   that   was   new,   and   she   really   liked   it.   “   it's   still   okay,   ”   she   insisted,   nodding.   her   own   hand   moved   to   the   nape   of   his   neck,   gently   guiding   him   down   so   she   could   kiss   him   again.

[castlefell]

her   encouragement   only   had   nate’s   desire   to   continue   growing   even   further.   he   knew   that   she   was   more   experienced   than   she   even   realized,   but   he   had   to   take   it   slow   now.   had   to   work   with   what   he’d   learned   over   the   dozens   of   times   they’d   already   done   this   together.   what   molly   liked,   and   what   would   get   her   to   continue   wanting   more   from   him.   he   easily   knew   every   inch   of   her   skin   like   the   back   of   his   hand,   and   he   didn’t   forget   it   even   though   it   had   been   awhile   between   them.   he   would   never   forget.   “   you’re   so   perfect.   just   wanna   spend   my   entire   life   making   you   feel   good.   “   he   murmured   against   her   skin.   he   sucked   gently   on   the   skin   of   her   neck,   tongue   moving   over   the   area   when   he   was   done   in   soothing   motions.   hands   moved   down   as   his   body   did   as   well,   pressing   open   mouthed   kisses   along   her   thighs.   when   his   fingers   found   the   waistband   of   her   shorts,   he   looked   up   at   her   again   for   confirmation.   

[castlebuilt]

“   have   you   ?   ”   she   asked,   a   little   skeptical.   she   had   no   way   of   knowing   whether   or   not   he   was   telling   the   truth,   considering   she   couldn't   remember   ever   seeing   him   fight.   was   fighting   really   one   of   his   favorite   pastimes   ?   if   that   was   the   case,   she   was   tempted   to   suggest   he   take   up   some   other   hobbies   instead.   clearly,   the   whole   fighting   thing   didn't   work   in   his   favor   if   he   wasn't   fighting   back.   her   brows   furrowed,   trying   to   make   sense   of   any   of   the   things   that   had   recently   changed   in   her   life.   she   wasn't   having   much   success.   “   right,   okay,   ”   the   girl   stated.   prue   decided   she   wouldn't   ask   rafe   for   any   further   clarification.   instead,   she   just   nodded.   maybe   what   they   had   was   a   little   more   complicated.   she   could   accept   that,   and   she   was   better   with   not   knowing   all   of   the   answers.   prue   hoped   that   at   some   point,   soon,   she'd   remember.   that   something   would   spark   a   memory   and   she'd   get   answers.   she   instead   focused   on   getting   the   ice,   collecting   what   she   deemed   necessary   before   she   settled   beside   him   on   the   couch,   a   small   sigh   escaping   her   lips   when   she   looked   him   over.   she   turned   to   look   at   him,   cloth   full   of   ice   in   her   hand.   “   sorry   about   this,   ”   she   murmured   before   pressing   it   against   his   face.   “   in   the   future   .   .   .   you   should   probably   try   and   avoid   taking   punches   to   the   face   if   you're   not   gonna   throw   any   back,   ”   she   told   him. 

[castlefell]

“   yes,   prudence.   i’ve   been   in   a   fight   before.   and   i’ve   won   all   of   them,   by   the   way.   “   he   wasn’t   sure   why   he   was   explaining   any   of   this   to   her,   anyway.   it   was   a   lost   cause,   wasn’t   it?   she   didn’t   remember   him,   and   if   it   were   anyone   else   rafe   might’ve   just   given   up.   yet   he   continued   to   insist   and   have   some   sort   of   faith   that   he’d   find   a   way   to   bring   her   memories   back.   he   hated   this   version   of   her.   like   she   was   here   but   not   fully   herself.   not   the   prue   that   he   knew   and   fell   in   love   with.   rafe   sat   surprisingly   still   while   she   held   the   ice   to   his   face,   light   orbs   watching   her   carefully.   he   wanted   to   lean   in   and   pull   her   close   like   he   usually   would,   yet   all   he   could   do   was   sit   there   and   ignore   the   ache   in   his   chest   at   the   distance   between   them.   “   he   sucker   punched   me.   “   rafe   scoffed,   eyes   rolling   sarcastically.   “   seems   like   you’re   interested   in   me   throwing   punches,   though.   you   wanna   see   me   fight   or   something?   “   he   couldn’t   help   the   usual,   sarcastic   and   confident   banter   that   fell   from   his   lips.   even   if   she   wouldn’t   give   it   back   the   same   way   they   used   to,   it   just   felt   all   too   natural   to   flirt   and   get   under   her   skin.   no   matter   the   circumstances.

[castlebuilt]

he   was   internally   panicking   as   he   registered   that   look   of   confusion   on   her   face.   while   jj   wasn't   someone   who   had   any   issues   with   lying,   he   really   didn't   want   to   lie   to   his   girlfriend.   sure,   she   didn't   remember   she   was   his   girlfriend,   but   he   wasn't   about   to   go   out   seeking   someone   to   replace   her.   kiara   couldn't   just   be   replaced.   that   void   couldn't   be   filled   by   anyone   other   than   her.   he   swallowed   nervously,   hands   shoving   themselves   into   his   pockets.   what   the   hell   was   he   supposed   to   say   ?   he   certainly   didn't   know.   he   was   going   to   be   fucked   if   he   wasn't   careful.   he   had   to   choose   his   words   cautiously,   and   jj   was   determined   to   do   just   that.   he   exhaled   shakily,   averting   his   gaze   from   her   to   stare   at   a   crack   in   the   pavement   as   he   tried   to   collect   his   thoughts.   finally,   he   looked   back   up   at   kiara.   “   um   .   .   .   ”   he   started,   voice   trailing   off.   “   i   don't   know,   ”   he   lied,   internally   cursing   himself   for   doing   it.   he   didn't   like   any   bit   of   this.   “   you   know,   i   guess   sometimes   people   just   remind   you   of   someone   else   so   sometimes   things   that   shouldn't   feel   normal   do   feel   normal,   ”   he   suggested.   “   science   .   .   .   the   mind   .   .   .   you   know   .   .   .   they're   weird.   ”

[castlefell]

“   -   science.   “   she’d   said   it   at   nearly   the   same   time   as   him,   almost   like   she’d   been   anticipating   jj   would   say   exactly   that.   like   she’d   heard   him   use   science   as   an   explanation   for   things   (that   had   nothing   to   do   with   science)   a   million   times   before.   sarcasm   laced   in   her   tone,   easy   and   natural.   and   at   first,   it   made   kiara   laugh.   like,   genuinely   laugh.   it   wasn’t   even   that   funny,   was   it?   why   was   some   stranger   making   her   laugh   when   she   barely   gave   people   the   time   of   day?   first   she’d   practically   found   comfort   in   his   arms,   and   now   she   was   finishing   his   sentences.   once   kie   had   stopped   laughing,   her   brows   were   furrowed.   god,   what   the   fuck   was   going   on?   “   sorry.   “   kie   repeated   as   she   shook   her   head.   “   yeah,   that’s   probably   it.   you   just   ..   i   don’t   know,   remind   me   of   someone   i   knew   awhile   ago.   just   like   you   said.   “   except   ..   she   wasn’t   sure   who   that   person   was.   jj   had   literally   tried   to   tell   her   she   was   his   girlfriend   just   a   few   days   ago.   she   should’ve   been   running,   yet   she   felt   safer   with   him   right   now   than   with   most   people.   “   this   is   all   really   fucking   weird.   where   did   you   say   you   moved   here   from?   “

[castlebuilt]

“   do   you   know   how   to   fight   ?   ”   she   found   herself   asking   him.   he   looked   like   he   was   capable   of   defending   himself,   but   looks   could   be   deceptive.   there   was   a   difference   between   wanting   to   punch   someone,   and   actually   following   through   with   it   successfully.   she   wasn't   sure   why   he   had   practiced   so   much   restraint.   she   didn't   know   many   people   who'd   sit   around   and   let   someone   punch   them   and   try   to   fight   them   without   fighting   back.   actually,   rafe   was   probably   the   first   person   she'd   seen   do   that.   “   right,    ”   prue   replied,   nodding.   “   the   whole   .   .   .   girlfriend   with   no   memories   thing,   ”   she   noted.   she   still   hadn't   mustered   up   the   courage   to   tell   rafe   that   she   believed   him   and   just   couldn't   remember.   she   didn't   want   to   give   him   false   hope.   for   prue,   it   was   a   lot   to   take   in.   she   listened,   nevertheless.   nodding   along   to   what   rafe   was   saying,   attempting   to   process   all   of   the   word   and   the   truth   that'd   been   presented   to   her.   “   wow.   so   drama   just   .   .   .   follows   you   guys   around,   huh   ?   ”   she   observed.   once   they'd   gotten   to   her   place   and   she   acknowledged   it,   she   moved   to   unlock   the   door   to   her   house,   turning   to   look   at   rafe.   “   let's   get   you   some   ice,   ”   she   told   him.   “   you   can   go and   sit   on   the   couch   and   i'll   get   it   for   you.   ”

[castlefell]

“   i   know   how   to   fight,   prue.   trust   me,   i’ve   kicked   his   ass   multiple   times   before.   it’s   actually   one   of   my   favorite   pastimes.   “   rafe   almost   made   himself   laugh   at   the   thought.   not   knowing   how   to   fight?   that   seemed   unheard   of.   if   only   she   knew   just   how   many   times   they’d   gone   back   and   forth,   and   just   how   much   better   at   it   he   was   than   jj.   honestly,   the   blonde   should’ve   been   grateful   that   he   didn’t   really   want   to   engage   today.   “   same   situation   for   him,   yeah.   “   rafe   nodded.   “   well,   i   mean.   you   weren’t   my   girlfriend   or   anything.   just..   “   words   died   on   his   tongue,   because   he   didn’t   know   how   to   explain   it.   he   loved   her,   but   they   argued   back   and   forth   constantly.   were   never   truly   official,   yet   always   ended   up   in   each   others   beds   at   the   end   of   the   night.   rafe   didn’t   know   what   else   to   do   or   say   anymore,   he   only   hoped   one   day   prue   would   come   back   or   they   could   find   answers.   instead,   he   sat   on   the   couch   of   the   familiar   place   and   looked   around.   everything   seemed   the   same,   but   so   different   at   the   same   time.   it   was   truly   an   experience   he   couldn’t   wrap   his   head   around.   

[castlebuilt]

it   didn't   feel   unfamiliar   at   all,   having   kie   in   his   arms   again.   it   was   a   feeling   jj   desperately   missed,   but   he   couldn't   let   her   know   that.   he   wasn't   trying   to   freak   her   out,   hence   the   reason   he   was   maintaining   an   emotionally   distanced   wall   between   them.   he   hated   shutting   kie   out,   but   it   was   best   for   the   both   of   them.   at   least,   it   was   until   she   remembered   who   she   truly   was.   still,   he   wrapped   his   arms   around   her,   movements   cautious.   he   didn't   let   himself   get   too   caught   up   in   the   moment.   when   she   moved   to   step   away,   he   let   her   without   any   protest.   while   he   would've   loved   to   hold   onto   her   a   little   longer,   he   knew   tha   he   couldn't.   “   it's   okay,   ”   jj   said,   shaking   his   head.   it   wasn't,   but   he   could   pretend   that   it   was.   “   like   i   said,   ”   he   began.   “   it's   okay.   you   .   .   .   you   really   don't   have   to   apologize   ,   kie   —   kiara.   ”   he   was   quick   to   correct   himself.   he   didn't   want   her   feeling   guilty   for   something   that   was   so   natural. 

[castlefell]

hugging   jj   felt   like   home.   a   feeling   she   wanted   forever.   kiara   was   so   reluctant   to   pull   away,   even   though   she   didn’t   know   this   person.   when   they   weren’t   wrapped   in   each   others   arms   anymore,   kie   found   herself   missing   him   instantly.   like   a   puzzle   that   was   put   together   at   first,   and   then   suddenly   the   pieces   fell   apart.   her   brows   were   still   furrowed   as   she   looked   at   jj.   he   was   so   understanding,   so   patient   and   kind   with   her   and   yet   ..   she   could   see   sadness   in   his   eyes.   tiredness.   kie   felt   truly   bad   for   him.   “   i   don’t   understand   any   of   this.   “   she   murmured   under   her   breath,   shaking   her   head   in   confusion.   it   might’ve   been   dangerous   to   trust   him   and   open   up   to   him,   but   she   couldn’t   help   herself.   “   but   that   felt   so   familiar.   like,   i   was   upset   and   you   were   the   only   person   i   wanted.   how   -   “   she   shook   her   head   again,   swallowing   the   lump   in   her   throat.   “   how’s   that   possible?   “

[castlebuilt]

jj   knew   that   the   both   of   them   were   ticking   time   bombs.   he   might've   already   started   to   detonate,   but   he   would   be   damned   if   he   didn't   drag   rafe   down   with   him.   he   wasn't   getting   out   of   this   one   unscathed.   “   no,   fuck   you,   ”   he   argued.   he   wasn't   going   to   let   rafe   tell   him   what   to   do.   jj   was   going   to   keep   talking,   because   it   was   is   only   chance   at   getting   a   reaction   out   of   rafe.   he   was   sick   of   rafe   always   being   the   one   to   get   him   to   react.   it   irked   jj   to   no   end   that   the   male   was   so   capable   of   staying   composed.   now   he   was   lying   right   to   his   face   ?   what   did   he   mean   he   wasn't   talking   to   kiara   ?   jj   shook   his   head,   chest   heaving   as   he   focused   on   the   girl   for   a   moment,   then   turned   his   attention   back   to   rafe.   “   w-what   ?   ”   he   stammered,   blinking   in   confusion.   his   heart   felt   like   it   was   going   to   burst   out   of   his   chest.   could   he   even   believe   rafe   ?   “   what   are   you   talking   about   ?   she   .   .   .   she   looks   just   like   her.   ”   how   was   that   even   possible   ?   and   if   she   wasn't   kiara   .   .   .   why   would   rafe   have   even   let   him   believe   she   was   at   all   ? 

[castlefell]

the   more   jj   started   to   lose   his   cool,   the   more   rafe   realized   just   how   important   kiara   was   to   him.   he   hated   jj   and   kie   more   than   any   of   the   other   pogues,   but   he   couldn’t   just   revel   in   their   suffering   when   he   was   going   through   the   same   thing   right   now.   “   would   you   just   shut   up   and   listen   to   me?”   rafe   asked,   exasperated   by   all   of   the   yelling.   jj   didn’t   believe   him,   and   that   made   sense.   but   it   was   pissing   him   off   that   he   needed   to   keep   explaining   himself.   “   this   girl   looks   just   like   kie,   i   know.   okay?   this   town   is   fucking   weird.”   at   this   point,   they   really   shouldn’t   be   questioning   anything.   everything   was   upside   down   here.   rafe   scratched   at   his   head,   doing   his   best   not   to   instigate   a   fight.   “   i   was   fucking   with   you   ‘cause   it’s   funny,   but   that’s   not   kiara.   that’s   my   girl-”   he   shut   his   mouth   quick,   instantly   realizing   that   jj   would   just   get   even   angrier   if   he   realized   rafe   had   fallen   for   a   girl   who   looked   identical   to   kiara.   “she   doesn’t   remember   me   either.   and   don’t   say   shit,   okay?   she’s   got   a   better   personality   than   kie.”

[castlebuilt]

“   just   because   you   can   tell   that   something's   off   doesn't   mean   you're   not   confused,   ”   jj   argued.   he   wasn't   trying   to   take   things   out   on   john   b.   that   was   reserved   for   rafe.   he   was   the   only   person   who   deserved   it   in   jj's   mind.   his   frustrations   were   just   not   something   he   was   great   at   suppressing.   that   had   everything   to   do   with   him   as   a   person,   though.   not   anybody   else.   jj   inhaled   sharply,   shaking   his   head   before   he   began   pacing   the   floor.   he   couldn't   stand   there   still,   he   needed   to   move   around,   needed   to   keep   trying   to   think   of   what   he   should   do.   “   john   b,   ”   he   said,   a   little   exasperated.   “   i   get   you   want   to   help,   but   there's   not   a   lot   you   can   do   when   you   don't   even   know   who   you   really   are   .   .   .    who   i   really   am.   ”   part   of   him   could   appreciate   the   fact   that   his   friend   wanted   to   help,   but   he   didn't   think   they'd   find   any   success   together.   “   that's   what   i've   been   trying   to   do   since   i   got   here.   me,   sarah   and   kie.   ”   well,   at   least   it   was   the   three   of   them   until   kie   forgot   who   she   was.   “   why   would   we   suddenly   find   answers   now   ?   ”

[castlefell]

while   he   didn’t   have   much   experience   with   jj,   john   b   had   never   seen   the   male   so   frantic   before.   it   was   like   now   that   he   didn’t   have   kiara,   he   truly   wasn’t   the   same.   he   tried   to   sympathize   and   not   get   too   offended   at   the   way   jj   was   snapping   at   him,   but   john   b   also   wasn’t   giving   up.   “   dude,   i   know   you’re   upset.   okay?   but   this   isn’t   going   to   solve   anything   right   now.   ”   the   male   remained   calm   despite   the   pacing   and   the   tension   in   the   air.   “   we   might   find   answers   now   because   it’s   my   dad   we’re   talking   about.   i   can   tell   you   where   he   hid   things,   show   you   where   his   office   was.   i   have   more   access   than   you   did.   why   don’t   you   just   give   me   a   chance?”   he   furrowed   his   brows   as   he   took   a   step   closer.   “   nothing   to   lose,   right?   ”   words   came   out   almost   too   easily   for   john   b,   like   they   had   been   said   before.

[castlebuilt]

she   had   to   laugh,   because   if   she   didn't   laugh,   she'd   end   up   crying.   crying   because   of   the   relationship   she   lost   with   rafe,   crying   because   her   husband   and   best   friend   had   no   idea   who   she   was.   she   saw   the   impact   it   all   had   on   jj,   too,   and   that   made   it   even   worse.   she   knew   kie   would   be   devastated   by   the   fact   that   jj   was   suffering   the   way   he   was,   and   it   made   her   all   the   more   determined   to   figure   their   issue   out.   she   wasn't   going   to   let   the   lives   of   everyone   she   cared   about   be   destroyed.   she   would   help   her   friends,   she   would   get   john   b   back,   and   she   would   help   rafe.   nothing   was   going   to   stop   her.   sarah   was   surprised   to   hear   him   tell   her   that   he   had   someone   there   too.   her   head   canted   slightly,   brows   furrowing.   “   what's   her   name   ?   ”   sarah   asked,   curious.   “   it's   not   .   .   .   it's   not   really   that   different   if   you   like   her,   rafe.   maybe   it's   not   the   same   as   being   in   love,   but   it   still   means   something.   it   still   means   that   you   lost   someone,   too.   ”   she   didn't   want   to   be   dismissive   of   what   he   was   going   through,   because   she   understood   it   well.   “   thanks,   rafe.   that   really   means   a   lot.   ”

[castlefell]

he   wasn’t   interested   in   sharing   that   much   information,   but   he   wanted   sarah   to   know   that   he   understood   in   a   way.   she   seemed   so   sad,   and   he   wasn’t   heartless.   he   cared.   “   her   name   is   prue.”   rafe   finally   admitted.   this   was   more   information   than   anyone   else   could   get   from   him.   rafe   let   out   a   soft   sigh   as   he   glanced   at   sarah,   nodding   his   head   a   little   at   her   words.   part   of   him   thought   she   would   judge   him,   but   she   was   understanding   and   it   surprised   rafe.   maybe   she   wasn’t   as   evil   as   he   made   her   out   to   be   in   his   head   these   days.   “sometimes   i   think   i   might   love   her.   i   know   we’re   not   married   or   whatever,   but..   yeah.   i   really,   really   like   her.”   his   feelings   for   prue   were   confusing,   only   now   that   she   didn’t   remember   him   did   he   realize   he   was   in   love   with   her.   “i   want   her   back.   so   we’re   going   to   do   this   together,   okay?   promise.”

[castlebuilt]

brooklyn   was   the   most   complicated   relationship   in   his   life   to   put   things   simply.   he   suspected   it   had   to   do   with   the   fact   that   he   had   feelings   for   her,   and   she   was   the   first   person   he'd   ever   felt   anything   more   than   contempt   for.   it   made   things   all   the   more   challenging   for   declan.   he   furrowed   his   brows,   wondering   if   she   was   truly   happy   in   that   moment.   “   are   you   ?   ”   he   asked,   surprised.   maybe   he   shouldn't   have   been.   he   knew   that   she   felt   something   for   him,   just   as   he   felt   something   for   her.   only,   brooklyn   was   a   lot   more   willing   to   be   open   about   it.   he   cleared   his   throat   as   she   suggested   kissing,   blinking   in   surprise.   he   wouldn't   kiss   her   out   of   pity.   he   would   only   kiss   her   because   he   wanted   to.   declan   swallowed   thickly,   attention   fully   on   brooklyn   now.   what   did   he   even   say   ?   of   course   he   wanted   to   kiss   her,   but   he   wasn't   sure   if   she   was   serious   about   it.   “   are   you   .   .   .   are   you   sure   ?   ”   declan   asked,   a   bit   hesitant.   “   do   you   .   .   .   do   you   really   want   me   to   kiss   you   ?   ”   he   questioned.

[castlefell]

asking   declan   to   kiss   her   was   bolder   than   anything   brooklyn   had   ever   done   before.   in   the   past,   he   was   the   one   to   initiate   things   between   them.   but   she   knew   that   she   felt   good   when   she   kissed   him,   just   as   she   felt   good   whenever   she   was   with   declan   in   general.   if   he   was   asking   how   he   could   make   her   feel   better,   this   was   her   best   idea.   “i’m   sure.”   brooklyn   nodded,   shifting   upwards   so   her   face   was   closer.   she   instinctively   reached   for   his   cheek,   cupping   it   gently   as   her   thumb   brushed   against   his   cheek   tenderly.   soft,   loving..   butterflies   in   her   stomach.   “i   want   you   to   kiss   me.   if   you   want   to,   declan.   then   i   do   too.”

[castlebuilt]

“   that   doesn't   make   me   a   murderer,   brooklyn.   that   makes   me   a   heart   breaker,   and   i   accept   that.   i   know   i   fucked   up,   and   i   know   that   i'm   a   shitty   friend.   i   don't   need   you   to   remind   me,   but   if   it   makes   you   feel   better   .   .   .   then   go   for   it.   say   whatever   you   wanna   say,   ”   aubrey   encouraged,   throwing   her   hands   up   carelessly.   either   way,   she   wasn't   shitty   enough   to   leave   brooklyn   there   alone.   she   did   have   somewhat   of   a   conscience,   and   it   was   telling   her   to   help,   even   if   the   blonde   was   going   to   give   her   a   difficult   time.   “   look,   ”   she   started,   tone   sharp   and   authoritative.   “   i'm   not   leaving   you   here.   if   you   want   me   to   call   your   new   little   boyfriend   declan   i'll   do   that.   i   don't   think   he'd   be   too   happy   about   it,   though.   those   are   your   options,   blondie.   you   get   to   pick.   ”

[castlefell]

she   didn’t   like   being   yelled   at.   if   anyone   became   strict   with   her,   brooklyn   often   retreated.   she   would   get   emotional,   and   now   that   she   was   drunk   and   hurting   she   was   extra   emotional.   her   eyes   filled   with   tears,   brooklyn   backing   up   slightly   at   the   shift   in   aubrey’s   tone   of   voice.   “hey!”   her   eyebrows   furrowed   when   aubrey   mentioned   declan.   “don’t   talk   about   him,   okay?   he’s   not   my   boyfriend.”   though   aubrey   was   right,   she   certainly   didn’t   want   declan   finding   out   about   this.   she   stumbled   to   her   feet,   still   pouting   as   brooklyn   wiped   some   tears   away.   “as   soon   as   i   get   back,   you   can   leave   me   alone.   deal?”