Hard Times

Hard times, gonna make you wonder why you even try.

[catalinaccarter]

minotaur-unslain‌:

Never in Seong-Jin’s life had anyone ever said no, well, not never, his very presence in the circus came out of facing a long list of denials, but it was  an exception to norm. However, when Catalina said yes it occurred to him that he had expected to say, to tell him in hero own way to fuck off, and that now that she had instead chosen to be direct and bold as his offer to have dinner together Seong-Jin had no idea what to do next. “Oh. Okay? That’s….okay.

He hadn’t even considered where he would take her, where he was going to go before he had thought to ask or if she had said no, and studying a map before your arrival in Paris had saved him from not being able to tell one street from the other, but it was clearly not thorough enough. “Is there somewhere you want to—” He began before cutting himself off. It was an absurd question to ask, as if there was anything else they would in France beside french cuisine.   

So instead Seong-Jin was forced to do what he did every time when faced with a situation beyond the scope of his knowledge. He gestured towards a general direction before beginning to walk. There was a high probability that they would stumble upon a restaurant eventually. 

Catalina raised an eyebrow at his surprise, but she realized he must’ve had similar anxieties about speaking to her again after everything they had been through together. Shared experiences were supposed to make you feel closer to someone, but it could do the opposite in extreme cases. They certainly had an extreme case, yet she was glad that it didn’t ruin them completely. “Did you-” she asked as he spoke as well, cutting herself off just as he did as a blush crept her cheeks. Surely, he must’ve had an idea.

She watched him gesture and she furrowed her eyebrows. He was doing a good job at pretending he knew where to go, but Catalina was sure he wasn’t as sure of himself as he seemed. “There’s a cafe around the corner that’s open late. A lot of places by now would be closed because European laws or something.” She suggested and beckoned towards the right way. “Follow me.”

She wanted to take his arm gently to guide him, but things still felt weird. She was sure a cake between them and some coffee would make things less awkward, and that’s what she was going for as she headed a different direction. She knew he’d follow quietly, she wasn’t sure how she knew but instincts told her this. If she was being honest, she was just glad they could be near each other without ducking their eyes and leaving.

[catalinaccarter]

LOCATION: Hotel gardens

STATUS: closed for @codecerberus

Catalina never thought of herself as a smoker until more recently, and while it felt like she was going against all the teachings she had studied on how harmful tobacco was and all the papers she had written about how evil all these cooperations were for allowing this practice to still happen yet here she was, doing what the French did. 

Inhaling a lung full, Cat wasn’t feeling as cynical as before. This was something different, this was recklessness. She needed to experiment on Metzger, not in the same way she experimented on everything else. She wanted to test him. Right now spirits were high due to this trust for Volkov (or the fact that someone was treating them normally for once) yet it wasn’t enough for Cat. She wanted to see what would happen if she ran away. With her invisibility, she could assume that she could perfect this experiment and see just what Metzger truly was all about.

If Aladdin is dead because of him, Cat wanted to know why.

She didn’t hear Carter behind her as she was lost in her thoughts, staring at some flower for god knows how long. So when she turned to see him, she almost jumped. “I’ve been in my head all day I didn’t even hear you.” She smiled, offering a cigarette. “You want one?”

[catalinaccarter]

whiterxbbits‌:

he follows her, eyes wide and feet lost, half-stumbling through the streets and clinging onto hands to keep himself from getting lost in the crowd - the thought is enough to have him shuddering, gripping hands just a touch harder - careful not to jostle anyone, keeping an eye on the smaller girl ahead of him.

it is unfamiliar to him, this quick-stepped city, looking alive under the stars. he’d stop and stare if it weren’t for cat tugging him along, smaller smile matching hers.

“will we have time for everything - don’t - don’t we have to be back before it gets too late?” he says, eyes still flitting around the city, head spinning. “i think we’re gonna need more than one day to go through all of this - city of love, they said, i think, when we got here. is that true, cat? have - have you been here before?”

“We will! It’s smaller than you think, besides. We’ll spread it out to really appreciate everything.” She grinned and nodded, linking her arm with him. She knew he was nervous, and she really didn’t want him to be right now. It was supposed to be fun! This was the city of love after all, no? “I have, I studied here for a semester.” She smiled and stopped, her eyes glancing over at him. “City of love and lights, maybe you’ll get some love.” She grinned, tilting her head. 

“Are you okay?” She asked before biting her lip. “It’s a lot, I know. But I promise, it’ll be fun!” 

[catalinaccarter]

DATE & TIME: FEBRUARY 19TH LOCATION: CAFE STATUS: CLOSED @ofhercs

Sometimes, the science team needed to be motivated.

Others, Cat just needed a break. Hence why she told Link to meet her at the nearby cafe for a traditional French experience, or whatever. Her French was rusty, but the cake was still good. And she hoped with everything that had happened, she could still rely on Link to be... himself, to not be too tense from everything. It was selfish to expect this, or to event want it, but she was hoping she could be the same. “Last time I was here was when I studied abroad.” She grinned at the memory, a bitter pang in her chest. “It’s just as good as I remembered. We should go to that... key bridge thing? The Pont des Arts I think. Have you heard of that?” She asked and raised an eyebrow, taking a sip from her coffee.

[catalinaccarter]

minotaur-unslain‌:

DATE & TIME: FEBRUARY 20TH, 11:10pm LOCATION: OUTSIDE THE LOUVRE STATUS: CLOSED @catalinaccarter

Much like the first time one learns about death, the discovery that to be alive is a finite state, there must have been a time where one first becomes aware of the power one has to hurt someone. That bodies are malleable and emotions fragile and with your own two hands or with certain phrase could render another feeling helpless against you. 

If so, Seong-Jin could not recall the memory of either, only that in terms of the latter it had a powerful effect because since than he had never stopped. Time and time again he had pushed people away, acted out defensively or with cruelty, wielding his words like a dagger and relying on fists when that alone wouldn’t suffice, until thirty years later the list of people who could say they had been hurt by him was long enough to fill a dense book. 

And it was only then that Seong-Jin had realized how wrong he had been. That while he believed few had deserved it, many of them had not. It had been a reflex, saying things without thinking about how they sounded or how someone might take it and only allowing it to sink in when the damage had been done. But what use was guilt without action? An apology. Being better. Instead, Seong-Jin had simply turned away, repressed the thought, retreated inward.

Traveling into the heart of Russia in order to avoid being in a confined space with the woman he had hurt, no matter how unintentionally, because he could speak seven languages, but could not figure out how to formulate an apology that could measure up to his action. But for once it had not been enough, not even the bitter cold of his surroundings had been enough to distract him from the gnawing guilt that he been unnecessarily blunt with Catalina all those nights ago, and worst of all had thought that he was being kind. How did one reconcile that? Seong-Jin wondered as they stood out the Louvre (whether by accident or because he had sought her out he wasn’t out he still wasn’t sure.) How does one concede completely to another person, say not just that they are sorry for the pain they have caused, but ask for forgiveness because it took a week and a fire to realize that you couldn’t live with avoiding them?

“Would you want to have dinner?”

If you told Catalina she’d fall for a disgraced lawyer, she’d laugh.

If you told her she’d be joining the circus where she’d meet said disgraced lawyer, and actually make friends and find self love within herself as well as a newfound independence, she’d really laugh.

And yet, here she was. It was hilarious, it was a dreadful. Dreadful because she was beginning to realize too much that her naivety wasn’t cute anymore, that she had to realize the world she was in was darker than she wanted to deal with and that she had signed her freedom away for the sake of science.

Hilarious, because, well. Her life was always a little funny.

Catalina didn’t know how to approach Jin for awhile. She didn’t like that she chose to lash out at him, she didn’t like that she couldn’t handle the truth so violently like that. But just when she had wanted to speak to him again, the bar happened in Shanghai. And then he hurt someone, or he killed someone, she wasn’t sure. She wasn’t... angry. Not at that, because who else would kill for her? Even if it wasn’t for her, even if it was for some other far off reason. She knew this messed up man had to care about her somehow for him to do that, right?

She was mostly shocked and traumatized in general from the whole night. But the icing on the cake was that she didn’t know how to approach him again. The fire was worse than the drowning, fire was more painful than the time she almost drowned. Drowning was terrifying but fire was too fast, too hot, too much. And the panic that seized through her if Jin had been there?

But still, she wanted to talk to him. She just didn’t know how.

So when he approached her, she was shocked. It was the most direct he had been with her in a long while and a small part of her screamed that she was finally going on a date in what? A year? Two? Another part of her told her to calm down, it wasn’t a date when they hadn’t been able to speak for so long.

Whatever.

“Yes.” She nodded. “Yes I would.”

[catalinaccarter]

DATE & TIME: FEBRUARY 19TH  LOCATION: HOTEL LOBBY STATUS: CLOSED @whiterxbbits

Catalina had actually been to Paris once, it seemed like forever ago. A birthday present for graduating high school and having been accepted into an Ivy League, she and her friends went to tour Europe before adulthood officially began. It was bittersweet to think about the reasons from then and now, but Cat wanted to do something nice for someone else. After all the stress and trauma from the past several weeks, Cat wanted to show Theo the liveliest places in Paris from what she could remember. Deflecting from her own issues was her specialty and she figured- she needed to show the boy who felt death what it meant to be alive.

“The merry go round in the park across fro the Eiffel Tower is definitely one of the spots we’re gonna go to.” She grinned, her pocket notebook full of ideas for them to see. She wanted to go to the flea market in downtown, the shops Paris was famous for, and to get any dessert their hearts desired. “But before that, let’s get a tradition French macaron. The nutella ones are still one of my favorites.”

[catalinaccarter]

CATALINA CARTER + PORTRAIT OF A WOMAN, KNOWN AS "L'EUROPÉENNE" (THE LOURVE EVENT)

The Golden Girl, so pretty with her shy smile and big wide eyes

[catalinaccarter]

🤞🥀

🤞  What is one of the biggest lies they’ve told (or their most recent lie)?

What if I was angsty and said “I’m fine!” lmao no I think her biggest lie is just whenever she promises someone she can get a big project done even when she knows she can’t. One time she told her friend she’d help him move and then got recruited for the Menagerie. Oops?

🥀 How would they handle the death of a loved one? (optional: specify person)

I’ll separate this into threes.

Her father:

Crying, sobbing, guilt of never being around. Of leaving, of visiting rarely. Blaming herself over and over again.

Her mother:

Silence, more guilt gnawing at her. She’d snap at you for trying to comfort her, trying to tell herself that she was okay but really she’d numb. It’s a different kind of depression, a sinister guilt eating at her.

Jin:

Allow me to be self indulgent but Jin’s death would result in silent tears dramatically while staring out the window while it rained- or full hell unleashed upon whoever did this. I don’t know yet. Either way, there’s so much grief she won’t know what to do with it

[catalinaccarter]

🤡😈👀

🤡 Do they have any phobias or irrational fears?

Cat hates clowns- go figure right? She watched It too early then got into learning about John Wayne Gacy to give herself more nightmares I guess. On top of that she’s terrified of the ocean but I feel like it’s not as irrational as clowns since well it’s all part of her tragique backstory.

😈 Are they a deceitful person, and do they see themselves as such?

I don’t believe so, Catalina is very genuine in her emotions and feelings. The only thing I can think of her being deceitful about is when people ask if she’s okay and she’s adamant on keeping a smile on her face and being all sunshines and rainbows even if it’s not like that. This makes it seem like she’s a cute lil mary sue but like... clearly we’re aware of her Flaws(tm)

👀 What is the most disturbing thing they’ve ever seen?

Oh boy let’s see! Soren eating someone, a throng of cryptids killing humans, a cryptid liver on her desk (she got over it as we know), and a frozen dead body in Russia. Soren has been involved in like all of these too wow

[horrificmemes]

Horrific Headcanons part 2

Since it’s one of my most popular memes, here is a part 2 to THIS meme, all about RP muse headcanons that are dark, angsty, or horror/scifi-related!

😇 Does your muse pretend to be innocent if they’ve done something wrong? 😈 Are they a deceitful person, and do they see themselves as such?  👁 Have they ever been a stalker, or been stalked themselves? 👀 What is the most disturbing thing they’ve ever seen? 😴 Would they ever choose to die in their sleep? Why or why not? 😡 What would someone have to make them lash out in violent anger? 🎃 If they were to play a mean trick on Halloween, what would they do and who would be their target? 👥 Is there anyone they wish they had never met? 🤡 Do they have any phobias or irrational fears? ❌ Would they consider themselves easy to corrupt? Already corrupted? 🤞  What is one of the biggest lies they’ve told (or their most recent lie)? 🥀 How would they handle the death of a loved one? (optional: specify person) 🔫 Would they ever sacrifice someone in order to save their own life? 💣 Name one dangerous experience they survived. 🍗 Have they ever wondered what human tasted like? Or do they know? 🎵 If they were going to torture someone, what music would they play while they did it? 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨 How would they react if the person they fell in love with turned out to be a criminal? 😍How would they react if the person they fell in love with turned out to be non-human? 😪 Name one thing someone could say or do to make your muse cry. 🦋Would they choose to die if it meant they’d come back as someone stronger? 👄If your muse had the ‘kiss of death’, would they ever use it?    🗣When is the last time they yelled at someone in anger? 🍼 Would they have a family with someone who was not of the same species/human-ness as them? 👤 If they could switch bodies or lives with any one person, who would it be? 👽What would they do if they witnessed an alien ship crash landing? 🤑Would they commit a brutal murder if it meant they would become rich? 👣Do they believe in Bigfoot? What about other legendary creatures? 💥If the world were ending, would they be satisfied with their life? 🔥 In a fire, they can only save three things (including people). Who/what do they save? 🍷 What would they do if someone slipped them a slow-killing poison? 😱When was the last time they were shocked or startled? 🦉Could they stay calm lost in the woods all night by themselves? 🐲Were they afraid of monsters under the bed as a child? 🎧How would they react after hearing an unexplained sound while home alone? 🏡How much would they have to be offered to live in a haunted house for a month? 🙀Do they believe animals have extra senses that people don’t? 🔪What do they think is scarier: a killer with a gun, or a killer skilled with a knife? 👻If they were a ghost, what methods would they use to haunt someone? 🔮They have a premonition that something terrible will happen to them. How do they handle the situation? 🔭Do they have a fear of the unknown and things they can’t explain?

[catalinaccarter]

Catalina + Ravenclaw

[maggierogers]

Ana de Armas photographed by Alejandro Pineiro Bello via Instagram

[catalinaccarter]

MRPG:TASK #3: SOCIAL MEDIA AU+ SNAPCHAT

[catalinaccarter]

minotaur-unslain‌: 

“Very convincing.” Jin said and regretted as her expression dropped and she turned her attention to the cigarette. He hadn’t meant it as an insult, on the contrary the circus was full of stoics and despite his alignment with them he was finding himself increasingly drawn to the contrary.  Or should he tell that what she was saying about seeming like the kind of person to look away from the harsh reality of their situation wan’t true? To a lie and say that she didn’t come across as sheltered in a way that was recognizable and foreign all at once? 

Instead Jin said nothing.

“Why I would I be mad?” He asked, exhaling the cloud of smoke and watching it dissipate into the air. “Don’t get me wrong, a cure or reversal would be great, but I’m not staking my life on it.” They had been a science team in name only, his role in it small and inconsequential except for that fact that he volunteered to help her, but her soft expression when he looked at her could not mask the truth that she seemed to have viewed this project with more weight than he had ever felt it to have.”It’s your research, you’re just possibly letting the rest of us in on it. You don’t owe me anything.” Just when Jin had begun to fear that all attempts to make her feel better were in vain, he was never good at the type of thing despite finding himself so frequently compelled lately to try to be, Catalina laughed and the sound was more cathartic than it had any right to be. “Perhaps he’s worried I’ll sue him,” Jin said, with a low laugh. As if they still lived in a world governed by a system you had wasted years studying. And then the reality of it all hit and he sobered immediately. He inhaled and exhaled the cigarette again. “I actually got my degree in this stuff. Corporate law. So I guess it’s fitting I should get screwed over by the kind of air tight contracts I would have been spent my whole life writing.” “I wouldn’t worry about that. It’s not like anyone was expecting a cure overnight.” Jin certainly hadn’t, the whole thing seemed more like a pipe dream. If anyone but Catalina had suggested it he wouldn’t have even entertained the thought. “Your childhood home?” He echo back at her, crushing the cigarette butt under his shoe. “Huh. So this is where you’re from?” It hadn’t occurred to Jin that until now she had never mentioned it, in fact everyone rarely talked about where they had lived before, and it had only been pride at attending Harvard and an unfortunate accent that showed itself when he was too drunk to remember to stifle it that gave away the fact he was from Boston. She too had so often spoke of her school with pride, challenging it against his own, that the idea that she live in Connecticut seemed a natural conclusion to draw.

And there it was again too. That sense of naivety - or was it hope - that he found equal parts baffling and compelling  “You don’t actually think you’re going to go back home, do you?”

“I try my best.” She offered a wry smile despite herself. Sometimes she had to force herself to try not to be so bubbly all the time, to let herself feel more than just fear of disappointment. She was allowed to be angry- but she didn’t feel like she deserved it. Nothing that happened to her was that horrific right?

Catalina blinked, a little confused but mostly relieved. If anything, she had been banking on the thought that everyone would be pissed at her for getting her research tarnished. She hadn’t even thought of sharing this with anyone, but when she did it seemed to have higher stakes that she find something quick. If Jin felt this way... then perhaps so did the others. Perhaps this wasn’t a life or death moment, but a pipe dream for anyone else. It was a little insulting- she knew she could do it- but it was mostly necessary. She needed to know no one would be disappointed in her or angry at her. And while Jin was only one person, it helped her more than she thought. “Thank you.” She didn’t owe him gratitude, this she knew, but she couldn’t help it. She smiled instead of explaining as she shrugged. “I guess I really needed to hear that.”

No, she just really needed to hear it from him. Maybe that was why she was so worried. She’d be upset to make Link or Theo sad, but the fact Jin wasn’t- she had no business feeling this relieved. 

Cat laughed at his joke, shaking her head as she took another drag. “Next time, we’ll go to a judge to present that case.” She grinned before it faltered as he spoke. She knew what he meant now at least. “It makes total sense. How does a fancy lawyer from Harvard end up in the circus?” It was too prying and she knew, but her need for connection, or maybe curiosity, made her forgo social cues. If anything, she really just wanted to get to know him better. “You don’t have to tell me, but I’m curious.”

“Yeah... that feels better to know. Like, it should annoy me but if it happens it will. And if not, then hopefully I can think of something else that’ll help.” She nodded, determined to not give up but find an alternative. She herself didn’t think anyone else needed a cure- but who was she to decide? 

“Yep, I’m a Cali girl. It explains why I’m like this.” She laughed softly, exhaling the drag she took as she shrugged. “I lived in a small beach town about two hours west. I only came back home for semester breaks though, mostly because I did not like Connecticut winters at all and also because the apartments there are expensive as hell so ya know. Gotta live back home.” She followed suit and stepped on the butt of the cigarette, glancing over at him. “If things go well, I’ll show you around. Not my house, but LA.” She grinned and shrugged before his words pierced through. If she was foggy before, she felt crystal clear right now. “Wait- what do you mean?”

“Why wouldn’t I be allowed to go home? I never signed my life away to this- what the fuck do you mean, Jin?” Her anger was misdirected at him, but he happened to be her current target right now. “Is this about my family? I tell you my mom doesn’t like me drunk out of my mind and is that what you’re trying to throw back in my face?” She was panicking now rather than being angry. What if he was right? Her mother wouldn’t be ready to see her, her father was probably pissed she left without saying goodbye and never wanted to see her again. And Metzger? What if this was all a trap? What if there was no legit cryptid researcher position? 

“Why won’t I be allowed to go home, Jin?”

[catalinaccarter]

MRPG:TASK #3: SOCIAL MEDIA AU + TWITTER

[catalinaccarter]

MRPG:TASK #3: SOCIAL MEDIA AU + TINDER

[catalinaccarter]

MRPG:TASK #3: SOCIAL MEDIA AU + INSTAGRAM+ JIN CAN SMILE AND IT’S LOVELY