I remember when I was eleven years old, and I realized that I was transgender. Feeling excited to share with the world that I finally knew who I was, I came out to many of my close friends and family members. Then I was faced with a lot of backlash, and among it I was confronted with the statistic of the disproportionate rate at which transgender people attempt and commit suicide. "Transgender people are mentally ill. Transitioning isn't the answer to your problems," I was told. Of course, I knew that their argument was one of many thin veils woven with logical fallacies meant to disguise their ignorance and disgust as concern for my well-being. But what stuck with me was this sentiment that because I was transgender, happiness and success was far out of reach. I think a lot of us have this backwards idea drilled into our heads, that in exchange for being our true selves we must give up our aspirations. You never hear about transgender people succeeding, finding their callings, becoming self-actualized, fulfilling their purposes. All the media shows us is bullying, rape, murder, and suicide. That’s all they want us to see. They want us to believe that there is something wrong with us. For a long time, I couldn’t see myself going to college. I was made to believe that I wasn’t capable, that I wasn’t good enough. My plans for what I wanted to do after high school were so blurry, I’m not sure I expected to live that long to begin with. Too many talented and brilliant transgender youths are being taught that they are destined to fail. I know now that I can achieve great things, but I worry I might not have known it if I hadn’t surrounded myself with the right people and gotten help. Not everyone has the same resources I did, even if it wasn’t much. Being transgender is such a beautiful experience, even if it is one that comes with oppression and hardship. The culture I have within the queer community and the unique relationship I have with my gender both have taught me to be kind and resilient. I think it’s time to flip the narrative, and start sharing stories of transgender joy and effervescence.
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