What did noel say pls tell me I’m poor and can’t afford to find out on my own
cody has a panic attack, live!:
ok so basically cody is really jittery and out of it for the beginning of the episode and eventually he’s like “sorry, i’m like fucked up and out of it right now” and talks about needing a break, but noel just reassures him, tells him he’s ok and that they’re going to do some grounding. so he has cody point out and repeat the first 5 things he sees in the room, and then touch the things that are in reach, and cody just follows along and you can see him actually start to relax a little
so then cody talked about how he had his first panic attack in the car on the way to six flags and noel went on to tell him about his experience with panic attacks and how cody shouldn’t be embarrassed to talk about things like this, and cody apologizes for that happening but again noel reassures him and tells him that it’s good that we’re seeing this & that they’re talking about it
so noel goes on to talk about his panic attack at one of the live shows they did and how badly he dissociated and how relieved he was that cody had picked up on how he was feeling and continued to move the show along, and how he had used grounding to help come down too (by looking into the crowd and seeing familiar faces like aleena and kelsey and just repeating their names)
then noel talked about how it had affected his relationship with aleena because he felt like he couldn’t do things without feeling that way and said:
“I don’t know if this is soft or whatever, but I’ve had a couple nights where my heart was pounding so hard, the feeling was so bad, that it put me in tears. I’ve had two nights where I’ve just laid crying, and like, holding Aleena’s hand and saying shit like ‘I don’t want to be like this for the rest of my life. I’m gonna kill myself if this is it. I can’t do it.’ It’s so brutal.” (that’s the bit that fucked me up for a bit)
then they went on to talk about how they were appreciative of people who have told/dm-ed them about how their content has helped them with their anxiety/depression etc. bc they understand what it’s like to go through it too, and went on to talk about self care and being aware of what triggers you and trying to avoid those things (like, noel said that weed really triggers it so he had to stop)
sorry i know this is all over the place but bsbsbsb there you go
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