a very very unserious drabble of james and that fucking bald cap because it's funny and @gerardswhore wanted to see it x
when james had said he'd be performing in berlin, you hadn't given a second thought to following him there. you loved watching him perform - it was his element. you'd never seen him happier than he was when he was up onstage in front of thousands, pouring his heart out through songs you'd watched him write.
you'd forgotten one simple, yet undeniably crucial fact about your boyfriend. he was, first and foremost, a bastard.
'oh my fucking god. no. no, this isn't happening.'
james stood in front of you, looking far too pleased with himself. he was dressed in his normal concert attire - black shorts, a black tank, his trusty shoes and his litter of tattoos. but there was one thing. one thing that you had never expected to ever have to account for.
there, on his head, was a bald cap.
you'd just about managed it when he'd shaved his head, but this was a step too far. it was almost uncanny, the way it somehow suited him.
'i'm sorry, i had to. it's too perfect not to.'
'you look like lex luthor.'
'i'll take that as a compliment. now, can i have my good luck kiss?' he said, reaching out towards you. immediately, you took a step back.
'fuck no. i can't- i don't even know how to feel about this. you look ridiculous. i can't believe you're going to perform one of your saddest songs looking like a bald dc supervillain.' you shot back, laughing at james' devastated expression.
'diabolical from you. c'mon, i can't go onstage without it!'
'no, i can't. it feels like i'm cheating on you and it's literally you. get away from me, baldy.' you teased, pushing your hand against his cheek when he attempted to press a kiss to it. he let out a scandalised gasp at your rejection, stepping back to place his hands on his hips.
'unbelievable. rejected by my own girlfriend.'
'mate, i'm dating james marriott, i don't know who this bald fuck in front of me is.' you replied. and despite his best efforts, james couldn't help but laugh, the sound bursting out of him as the sheer ridiculousness of the situation finally got to him.
'aw, come on. you'll learn to love it once you see me perform. you always said i looked hot on stage.' he tried. you shook your head.
'i say that when you look like a normal human, not like a fucking lego man.' you said, shrugging as james placed his hand over his chest in mock offence. in lieu of an argument, you just reached over to land a slap to the top of his head where his hair should've been.
'you're breaking my heart, here.'
'you'll live. and i swear to god, if you come back still wearing that i'm going to beat the shit out of you.' you threatened, pointing your finger directly in his face. james pouted, patting the cap protectively.
'just say you don't accept me, that's fine. i'll leave, since you hate me so much.' he exclaimed, sweeping past you and through towards the stage. you blew him a kiss over your shoulder, winking as he left.
safe to say, he slept on the sofa bed that night.
