Is this going to be our first rant? Will it really be about dating apps? I was planning something different... but okay I guess we can go off this!
(This happened a couple of months ago.)
I’ve pretty much been lonely my entire life (meaning romantically, I do indeed have friends), I’ve had things with people and you know, relationships that last 1-2 weeks then it just doesn’t work out, that’s just how much life wants me to be a crazy cat lady. I’m almost there, I just need more cats. But anyways, I’m at the age where everyone wants someone to call ‘theirs’, well most people, I can’t speak for everyone; but in my friend group, I’m one of the few who doesn’t have a guy on her radar or even a sex life, so of course the only way my friends wanted to “get me out there” was... yep! you guessed it! Tinder.
Now, let me tell you, I’m not one of those people that can’t be single for more than 5 minutes, I don’t mind being single - most of the time - if I need attention I can get it from guys I’ve friend zoned. sorry not sorry. So it’s kind of a big deal that I got Tinder but okay okay, I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s explain how this went down.
So, 2 of my best friends, they lived far away during this time, so I got them to stay a night before they headed off to the other side of the country. Now, I love them and all but after not seeing them for at least 6 months, I was shocked to see that all they wanted to do while at my house was use my internet and sit on their phones all day, I was pretty annoyed about it but I thought oh what the heck, it’s fine, we are going to go shopping tomorrow, we’ll gossip and shit then. I don’t really know what caused them to get so addicted to their phones and especially Tinder. I really don’t mind people getting dating apps but guys, girls, people of all genders, don’t become so intertwined with all of this. Look up from your phone, spend time with ya peeps. Maybe you have to use a dating app because you look down so much. It’s hard I know, but trust me, phones are gross things.
Great. This is going to be much longer than I thought. Oh well, no-one is going to read this anyways so it doesn’t matter. They got to my house early afternoon and we planned to go on an adventure to the beach before 4 pm which I was super excited for because adventures are my life. After chatting for a bit and seeing how everyone was doing, the phones come out. “What you two doing?” I ask as I bring in the snacks like the good host I am, “Oh we are on Tinder! Look at this guy, we matched and he’s so cute!”
I had already been warned that they had Tinder by one of them the night before coming to mine, and I was cool with it. But never did I think I’d have to wait 3 hours, while they were busy talking to horny and desperate guys. Okay so it’s not omegle.com but still, some of the guys on there are creepy as fuck. It was summer but it was getting colder by each hour that passed. It was 3:10 pm, “hey guys... we still heading to the beach?” you can probably guess what they ‘hesitantly’ responded with, “...oh I forgot we were going... maybe later, or tomorrow, we have plenty of time!” Now of course I agree and just say it’s completely fine, but man was I disappointed! So I tried to make more of a conversation and what else to talk about than what they were doing? bAD IDEA. “...blah blah boys blah blah cute and flirty blah so many matches!” Call me a bad friend but I zoned out on that shit. “OH I HAVE AN IDEA! Let’s make Cat a Tinder!!”
Uh, excuse me? You know how when you’re too nice to firmly say no and people think you’re just kidding but you fully don’t want to? They still made me a Tinder. Okay Cat, maybe it’s not that bad... just go with it. Just swipe left or right. *swipes up trying to get out of the bio* WHY IS THE SCREEN BLUE?!?! WHY IS THAT AN INSTANT MATCH. WHAT’S THIS SUPER LIKE?!?!? *faints*
“Aye girl! Getting some good matches! ;)” I felt liked I guess, people think I’m pretty? People are interested in me? *New Message from Fuck Boy Number 1 out of too many to count* O////O what is this... a possible love letter from my secret admirer? From my one and only?? A special and original thought just for little old me?! sENPAI?? “If you were a triangle you'd be acute one 😏😩🍆💦❤” Oh FUCK no. Message after message, it was always the same, some stupid overused pickup line, some people were very straight forward where they wanted my snap to send me dick pics, some didn’t try at all by responding with one word answers. It had been 1 hour of being on it and I was already bored. I watched my friends do their thing instead, message everyone, and go back to swiping left or right, go on Snap, go on Instagram, go on Messenger, go back on Tinder, repeat.
I didn’t get the rush, I didn’t understand the point. I don’t know these random people, I don’t want to know them. I felt uncomfortable, I didn’t like this. I knew where this was going because something similar happened to me earlier last year (that’s a story for another time), so I left my phone there, I felt guilty for wanting to delete it so quickly, not just for my friends but all the people I had led on. But then I thought, on dating apps, no one is loyal, everyone talks to like 10 people at least. You’re not special, sure you could be the favourite but you’re not the only one. My friends and I would match with the same people, then we’d say to each other, “No no, you have that one! You think he’s really cute!” Well what’s the point? They’re still talking to another 20 people! So really what’s it to them if I yeet? they don’t know me, they don’t feel anything for me, sure they think I’m acute triangle, but they won’t care! i decided I’ll wait a bit longer until my friends left the following day to delete it, I know I should’ve deleted it right then and there but I felt guilty and at the same time curious... I muted the app and only checked it once an hour or so. Got the casual messages but eh.
By this point it was 5:30 pm, dinner time, we still hadn’t left my room, they were still on their phones. To make this part short because I’ve written too much, we left to go to the beach at about 7 in the evening, and only then did they finally put their phones away and we had good chats till about 11:30 pm. It was a good time; 11/10. The next day was shopping day, where they couldn’t be fucked going anywhere but I for once took charge of the situation and said, we are leaving in 30 minutes. But oh my fucking god, they were on their phones while shopping, like seriously? Haven’t you had enough? They’d pull their phones out as soon as they heard a notification from anything, but mainly Tinder.
I love my friends, they’re absolute babes, but I don’t know what happened here. I don’t know what happened to them. Social media changes people, you really have to watch what you do, how you use your time, balance is key in life and as soon as you get into a bad habit - like this one using Tinder - it just becomes a nasty addiction, and the sad thing is that this can happen with anything. I wish I got more time to spend with them but I guess Tinder was more important at the time.
One of them messaged me the following day explaining that she was now uncomfortable with the whole concept of Tinder, she didn’t know what she was thinking, people were hitting on her too much and wanted to meet up. There were some who’s intentions were too much. And I understood this, I didn’t tell her some stupid shit like “I kNew ThiS wOUld hAPpEn” but I said to her something along the lines of: “Girl, dating apps are toxic, they consume you, you don’t know if you can trust these people, the best way to meet people is in person, because you see what they’re like instantly, you get a true first impression because online? It’s barely possible, it’s just words, but how people act is so much more. People on this aren’t even loyal, just in the same way when you were talking to about 6 boys at the same time, they’re the same, they’ll be talking to other people too. Delete the app. It’s not necessary.” And so she deleted it, she’s so much happier, but she still is slightly traumatized by the fact that she might end up bumping into some of the guys who were being quite forward with her. But it just shows how it can affect you, attention is nice but that is not how to get it. I’m not saying all people on dating apps suck, but through my experience and also my friend’s, I do not like it, it’s not the thing for me. If it worked for you I praise you! I’m proud! But I think it’s toxic for me, it’s toxic for my friends. It’s not true commitment, and relationships build on this, so really... is it even a dating app? it’s more of a hook up app where you barely hook up. Maybe I’m wrong though! Maybe it’s just in my area that it absolutely fucking sucks. But to me it feels like people just use each other, they can easily manipulate you from behind a screen. I am really bad at finishing things off so I’ll finish this with:
Dating apps are a no-no, I don’t recommend them. But if you do use them, please look out for any red flags, you’re so much more, you deserve better! Take care children, and use protection.
This was Cat, thank you for listening. Over and Out xx
