Wina Safiah

emo bands, sappy quotes, emo shits and sometimes I post my artworks.

[catrhapsody]

hey

hey uh, I haven’t been on this platform since forever. Here’s a life update.

I’m 16 now. Well, I’m turning 16 in another 2 days.

I had a boyfriend who I loved very dearly but he left. He cut ties with everyone. No, he’s not an asshole. I miss him every day.

I don’t romanticize depression anymore if that makes any sense. I still have my mental illnesses, thanks for asking.

I’m a bit heartbroken and my friends are kinda bad at helping me. I miss him, my ex, but no one understands. 

but yeah, I’m still around. which is surprising because i never thought I’d get this far. 

stay strong, alright? all of you. 

[catrhapsody]

D for Depression

Talking based on experience, it’s more hectic than what you think. 

It’s not just dark thoughts and wanting to die. It’s not just not having the desire to the things that you enjoy.

This particular monster feeds on every possible happiness from within. It makes you a living zombie and we all know that a zombie is a living dead. 

Whenever I hear someone making fun of depression, it makes me feel insignificant. Because they say that it’s a made-up thing, teenagers made it up for attention. 

This statement makes depression looks like a joke, makes it look like a stupid thing. It makes depressed people look like a joke. 

Depression is no joke.

I don’t think I have recovered fully, but I believe that there’s light. 

[iglovequotes]

http://iglovequotes.net/

[gerardlesbian]

Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys is the fourth and final studio album by American rock band My Chemical Romance, released on November 22, 2010.

[catrhapsody]

Used

People say I don’t talk much, Mum said I need to make friends and my sisters call me a loser from time to time. 

The thing is, I don’t want any more friends because I’m tired of being the only functional person in the relationship. If you get what I mean.

I’m tired of being there for people, it’s not that I don’t like them - it’s just they’ve never been there for me. The number of time they have walked out of my life because they couldn’t  handle how much of a burden I am.

I get it, I’m not the happiest person alive, I don’t radiate happiness and gloominess seem to follow me around.  Well, I’m sorry. I can’t do much about it now, can I?

I’m used. Abused. Bullied. Hurt. Pained. Broken.

And I’m sick of being all that. It’s exhausting. I’m trying to live here too. God.

[catrhapsody]

a sneaky peeky for my ‘Guys Cry Too’ art collection, I’m still finishing it up so I hope you guys can wait. :)

[iglovequotes]

http://iglovequotes.net/

[catrhapsody]

Hear Me Scream

I haven’t been on Tumblr since forever, but here’s some literature.

There are times where we feel alone, 

Like no one is there for us.

When there are actually over 7 billion people in this world,

but we feel alone.

and useless.

And we have been broken for so long,

but they call us strong.

Because we stayed behind,

to fight and ward off evilness.

And we have been crying.

Our tears leave invisible stains,

we cried so much, too much.

Can’t take a breather.

I’m sorry.

I apologize for my weaknesses.

I apologize because I have nothing to be sorry about.

I’m sorry.

Though all these times I have been trying to keep you alive, keep everyone else alive. I have been dead.

Dying inside, a bit of me died every time.

And I can’t do this.

I can’t continue this life if no one listens to me,

if someone isn’t going to hear my cries.

But I beg, oh yes, I beg.

I beg you to hear me scream.

I beg you to hear us scream in agony.

And save us.

[catrhapsody]

Did you miss me?

I’ve been struggling with depression a lot more lately. 

I don’t know what’s wrong.

Nothing seems to be flawed, nothing but me.

I’m sorry because I’m not what you expected.

I’m sorry I left.

Do you miss me?

Did you miss me? Since now you’ve gotten yourself a replacement of me. A much better person than me. 

[catrhapsody]

I write during the day so the shadows won't disturb me. But I got my inspirations at night time,

Cat Rhapsody // W.S

[catrhapsody]

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNmaX6KBuFs)

I never knew Oli and Gerard mix very well :D

[catrhapsody]

is it just me or i just really love this picture of brendon

[ohstylesno]

THIS LOOK THOUGH!

[catrhapsody]

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBKqlAMfvO8)

THIS IS SO GOOD. oH MY gOD

[catrhapsody]

You gave me purpose,

The Holy God Of Music, Justin Bieber

[catrhapsody]

I Wish

Sometimes I wish I could just disappear into thin air.

I wish that it can actually be alright.

I wish my life was different.

I wish I never had this mental illness.

I wish I could be normal.

I wish everyone could take a moment and try to understand.

I wish everything could be cured with medicines.

I wish my friends were there always for me.

I wish I never had to participate in this hopeless war.

I wish everything was different.

I wish to be skinnier.

I wish to be taller, fairer, prettier.

I wish boys would look at me in awe.

I wish all the people in school would stop looking at me like that.

I Wish I Was Never Born. 

[catrhapsody]

Dear Anxiety,

Dear Anxiety,

Stop taking away my nights of sleep and leaving dark circles under my eyes.

Stop making me worry about the things I shouldn’t be worrying about.

Stop taking away my friends and surround me with your bubble.

Dear Anxiety,

You have been the one and only that stood by side, you’ve always been there that you became a part of me. You’re like a huge dog which follows me around though it’s lovely to have a company, I’m here just waiting for it to pound on me.

Dear Anxiety,

You have taken away my sleeping schedule.

You have taken away my friends.

You made me fail my classes.

You made me feel worthless because I can’t achieve my dreams with you still living inside me. 

Dear Anxiety,

If I can tell you the exact feeling you make me feel, I would. You’re capable of making my palms slick with sweat, cold sweats, my knees knocking each other and my body just won’t stop shaking. My heart beats ten times faster than usual and everyone around me would look at me; “Oh, poor child. She’s having an anxiety attack.”

But no, you’re not just any anxiety attack. 

You have become a part of me, an insecurity of mine and a disorder in my brain. 

Dear Anxiety,

I’ve forgotten how it felt like to be able to live without worrying about anything, I’ve forgotten how free it felt without you lurking in my body and haunting my mind. You became the voices that just never shut up in my head.

Dear Anxiety,

You’ve made my life hell and I have always wished for you to go away. But, I’m very certain that I’m going to miss you. The way you wake me up in the middle night because of a random dream I had of dying. The way you badly odour my body when the teacher asks me to sing during Music. All the things you’ve done to me. You were such a loyal companion but I guess it’s time for you to leave and let me breathe for once. Because I’m tired, I’m tired of this drowning sensation and I’d love to know the feeling of breathing at ease with a clear mind and a smile plastered on my lips.