[kiani93-deactivated20210916]

[catscrvdle]

today ii am embracing the trope of broke university student desperate for a caffeine fix, and so ii venture on to google. ii google “café near me” and in the midst of mcFastFoods and Donuts is a simple picture of a field. the {vegetable} café.

bitch, ii want a cup of coffee not to be taken by the fair folk.

[catscrvdle]

this seriously buigs me bc this is based off a true experience, and i re-googled just this particular cafe, and it’s not actually mentioned on the first results, but if i go to google maps it says the closest cafe by that name is a fucking field, and im really tempted to drive out there and see it, but i don’t want to be… taken…

[catscrvdle]

yeah, so i googled it again, and it’s right off this big highway, but the way on to it is not from the highway. it leads you to this weird square, and tells you to walk off into the woods because you can’t make it there by car.

and the weirder part (weirder than a cafe named after a vegetable found in the middle of the woods next to a busy highway and whose only picture is a field and whose reviews say “solo dining experience” and “casual” and “fast food”) is that it says it’s on [redacted] road, but when i google redacted road it’s a much smaller road on the other side of the highway. and it doesn’t even LEAD into the forest. it’s not a dead end! it connects two other names roads.

so when you google [redacted] road to [vegetable] caf it says you need to travel over a mile by car (or bike or what have you), turn off a named road into the weird fucking misshapen square, and then turn off that onto a non-existent/displaced road and walk off into the woods.

[catscrvdle]

if i go here i will probably be murdered or taken, and there is only a fifty percent chance the crime is committed by humans, and im honestly not ok with that

[catscrvdle]

today ii am embracing the trope of broke university student desperate for a caffeine fix, and so ii venture on to google. ii google “café near me” and in the midst of mcFastFoods and Donuts is a simple picture of a field. the {vegetable} café.

bitch, ii want a cup of coffee not to be taken by the fair folk.

[catscrvdle]

this seriously buigs me bc this is based off a true experience, and i re-googled just this particular cafe, and it’s not actually mentioned on the first results, but if i go to google maps it says the closest cafe by that name is a fucking field, and im really tempted to drive out there and see it, but i don’t want to be… taken…

[catscrvdle]

yeah, so i googled it again, and it’s right off this big highway, but the way on to it is not from the highway. it leads you to this weird square, and tells you to walk off into the woods because you can’t make it there by car.

and the weirder part (weirder than a cafe named after a vegetable found in the middle of the woods next to a busy highway and whose only picture is a field and whose reviews say “solo dining experience” and “casual” and “fast food”) is that it says it’s on [redacted] road, but when i google redacted road it’s a much smaller road on the other side of the highway. and it doesn’t even LEAD into the forest. it’s not a dead end! it connects two other names roads.

so when you google [redacted] road to [vegetable] caf it says you need to travel over a mile by car (or bike or what have you), turn off a named road into the weird fucking misshapen square, and then turn off that onto a non-existent/displaced road and walk off into the woods.

[catscrvdle]

today ii am embracing the trope of broke university student desperate for a caffeine fix, and so ii venture on to google. ii google “café near me” and in the midst of mcFastFoods and Donuts is a simple picture of a field. the {vegetable} café.

bitch, ii want a cup of coffee not to be taken by the fair folk.

[catscrvdle]

this seriously buigs me bc this is based off a true experience, and i re-googled just this particular cafe, and it’s not actually mentioned on the first results, but if i go to google maps it says the closest cafe by that name is a fucking field, and im really tempted to drive out there and see it, but i don’t want to be... taken...

[catscrvdle]

today ii am embracing the trope of broke university student desperate for a caffeine fix, and so ii venture on to google. ii google “café near me” and in the midst of mcFastFoods and Donuts is a simple picture of a field. the {vegetable} café.

bitch, ii want a cup of coffee not to be taken by the fair folk.

[romcommunist]

How ya been?

im rotting but im very sexy

[catscrvdle]

[thewinedarksea]

the seven heavenly virtues | charity

the friendship of man for god, the love of which extends also to the neighbor

[corvidprompts]

“You’re such a liar. You lie more than I do,” says the villain to the hero “which is both impressive and horrifying.”

“Rude.”

“Isn’t lying a sin?”

“Depends on your religion, dumbass.”

[corvidprompts]

“I’m not a monster, I’m a very pissed off piece of shit, and im going to murder you with my very human hands.”

[oc-question]

Why is your OC feared?

[catscrvdle]

“i . . . am i Feared?” it asks with a look of awe.

“well, you have challenged numerous strangers to duels to the death . . . conveniently forgetting that you cannot die by traditional means.”

“it was to the me-death!”

“yeah, so correction. you ask strangers to kill you.”

it nods. that makes sense. “you?”

“i put up with you.”

[editoress]

Your fave is problematic: OC edition

[hendrixwrites]

editoress:

Ask me about one of my OCs and I’ll list out why they’re problematic.

[incorrectocquotations]

Character A: [Character B], have you considered accepting our Lord and Savior, [Character C]? I promise, you'll never look back.

Character B: Wait. Are you seriously comparing [Character C] of all people to Jesus?

Character A:

Character A: [Character B], have you considered selling your soul to [Character C]? I promise, you'll never look back.

(submitted by legendarymiraclebear)

[incorrectocquotations]

Character A: Hey, what's your number?

Character B: [visibly texting] I don't have a phone.

[incorrectocquotations]

Character A: [Character B], why are you hitting me?!

Character B: 'Cause I thought you were a dead person coming back to life!

Character A: ...Then why were you hitting me?!

Character B: Dead people should be dead.

(submitted by thejadewizard)

[incorrectocquotations]

“Why do we always have to get involved? Can’t we do normal stuff that normal people do like… go to brunch?”

— One of your OCs

[incorrectocquotations]

Character A: You shouldn't insult people who are bigger than you.

Character B: Then I'd never get to insult anyone.