Our World with a Deaf Son

We have been blessed to have a deaf son. Here I will journal about our journey together as a family.

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Christian is 21!!

Our little boy is 21 years old today. Can't believe it!! He was just born yesterday, how could this be?? Christain had been attending the local community college. He said he wasn't ready to go on to the big colleges yet. I totally understand that. They can be scary at first. He recieved his associates degree in business. He's now thinking about going to a Golf College.

Over the last few years, he's been playing a lot of golf & taking lessons. He and his dad have been playing a lot, so much that they now have a membership at the country club. My son is pretty good at this golf thing. His golf coach said he plays very well, despite being Deaf. In the beginning of his lessons he had a hard time with the listening to the coach. He was someone new to Christian and he didn't know anything about having a Deaf student. After explaining everything to him, he understood. Tim, his coach, did great with Christain. They have a great friendship. Tim has been very supportive of Christian wanting to go to golf college. This has made such a difference in Christian's self esteem & confidence.

On the romance end.....he has been talking to a hearing girl from the community college. That surprised me. I thought he would be more drawn to a Deaf girl, but this girl is very nice & excepts Christian the way he is. It make me happy to see him happy.

We'll be packing him up in the fall to go to the Golf College. He'll be living in South Carolina. I will cry like crazy. Probably use a whole box of kleenex & then some!! My child going off living on his own, what is this world coming to?? I know he'll do fine. Me on the other hand.....can't say. We'll be empty nesters.

All I can say is that I am VERY PROUD of how far Christian has come, despite all of the problems, frustrating situations, let downs, he has done great!

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Getting ready for high school!!

We will have a high school student!! I can't believe it! He has grown up so fast. Once again we have decisions to make. Should we keep in the oral school that he is in now, or move him into a school where he will be mainstreamed??? What to do?? What to do? Christian is not reading quite on grade level now, so we would like to see him stay at the oral school. On the other hand, he's at the age where he needs to be interacting with hearing kids. 

School has not been easy for him. The implant has helped him to hear and speak, but his language skills still aren't where they should be. He has some great teachers who are very patient with him but also push him hard. He gets frustrated with them as well as with us when we review at home when he doesn't get something. So in turn, his father & I get frustrated with him & with ourselves. We begin to question ourselves about the decision we made. Was the implant the best thing for Christian? 

As we sit & look back at what he has gained from the implant, we know in our hearts that we did make the right decision. He hears sounds, my voice, the voice of his friends, our dog barking, among 100's of other sounds. His speech has come a long way. We are still struggling with certain sounds, but that is to be expected.

After talking to MANY people about getting the cochlear implant for Christian, we knew that it would not "fix" his hearing, but allow him to hear sounds & hopefully be able to speak. Both outcomes have come true for him. He does hear sounds & is able to speak. Is his speech 100% clear or like any hearing child? No. But we will continue to work on it with him. His speech therapist seem confident that he will do fine.

We have to remember that he is a teenager now. Learning language, practicing vocabulary words, practicing sounds are not what he has in mind for fun. His dad has taught him how to play golf. They go to the golf course every weekend to play & practice. Christian seems to be enjoying the game & doing well.

Christian knows that he is allowed his fun time and time to spend with his friends, but he also has to stay committed to the time I have allowed for him to practice his speech & language.

His dad & I decided that we will send him to the high school here close to the house. We talked to Christian about it to see how he felt about either staying at the oral school or moving to the high school. He felt like he was ready to move on. We talked to the administrator of the high school about Christian & what his needs would be. He assured us that the speech therapist on staff would be able to handle Christians needs. We decided also to get a tutor to help him at home with language practice & homework if he needs it.

We feel as though we have done our homework & research on this enough to make a educated & logical decision for Christian. Are we 100% correct about this? We hope so, only time will tell. Lots of praying comes into play here. Lots of praying!!!!!!  

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School decisions.....OMG!!!

Christian is now 7 years old and its time for us to decide where to place him for 1st grade. We have so many options before us. Do we place him in an oral school with children like him with a teacher that knows how to teach him? Or.....do we place him in a regular ed school with hearing kids with a teacher who has probably not taught a child who is deaf? He would learn at a regular ed school, but how much? Would be at the same level as his peers? Would he learn at the same rate as they do? Would they understand him or make fun of him? Unfortunately we don't have a school for the deaf where we live. So many questions, so much to think about.

My husband and I have done a lot of talking, soul searching, thinking, crying, arguing, researching again and again and again, thinking and more thinking. There is sooooooo much to consider here. I am a regular ed teacher and my husband is an accountant. We both can get a job anywhere, hopefully.

We have decided that an oral school for the deaf would be the best for Christian.  We have done a lot of research into moving to another city that has an oral school. We have family that lives in Memphis & have done some research on the school. We went to visit for a few days to observe the teaching process. It was wild!! To see these children playing with each other, speaking to each other, was unbelievable. I was happy to see it, sad that Christian wasn't that verbal yet, energized by what Christian will learn, unhappy that we will move & leave other family & friends , worried that Christian will do well. My emotions are on serious OVERLOAD!!!

We have done lots of inquiring about palcement for Christian. He has been excepted into the school. So now we have to find a job. YUK!! After many interviews and job hunting, my husband has found a job in Memphis. I haven't been as lucky. We'll be moving to Memphis & staying with my sister until we find a house.

At this time, once again we are still on a worldwind of thoughts and ideas going through our heads.

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Christian is 3 years old already!!

We can't believe it......Christian is 3 years old already. We have lived a worldwind life already. Being told that your child is deaf, profoundly is mind blowing!! We've had a lot to deal with over the last 3 years.

After our visit to the audiologist, we had to decide what kind of treatment we would choose for Christian. The audiologist gave us so much information about what we could do for Christian. A bit overwhelming I must admit. We were given the choices of ASL, the cochlear implant, lip reading, cued speech. My husband and I sat together and discussed the options we had before us. We discussed every option for days, weeks!! We wanted to be sure that the option we chose for Christian would be the best for him. After much debate, crying, research, more research, talking to others with a deaf child, talking to family members, and more research, we decided to go with the cochlear implant. We wanted Christian to be able hear and speak. With the research we did on the implant, we found that the implant would be the best for him. It would allow him to learn to hear sounds and learn to speak. We also wanted him to be able to be with hearing kids his age.

Now that Christian is 3 years old, he has been implanted for about one and half years now. It has been quite an experience the last 1 1/2 years. We were so nervous about the surgery and wondering if we made the right decision. Christian did really well through the surgery. When the time came for his mapping, we were excited, anxious, unsure, and just plain crazy with emotions as we waited for him to be mapped. I sat with him on my lap as the audiologist got things together to map him. As she began the process, I thought my my heart was going to jump out of my chest. The anticipation of what might happen or not happen was overwhelming. Finally, as she started the process she did something with her machine and said 1-2-3 and Christian looked up at her. He heard something!!!! We were so excited!!!! I began to cry and so did my husand. Our child heard a sound.

Since that day, we have had been everything possible to give Christian all that he needs to be able to speak and hear. We do speech therapy sessions as well as language auditory sessions. After 1 1/2 years, Christian is beginning to say words such as mama, dada, eat, pup pup, drink, and a few more. We are very pleased with his progress so far. His therapist say the same. Don't get me wrong, it has been very difficult for us. We have had to change the way we speak to him at home . We have to change the way we speak when we are out in public and with family. The speech and language sessions are are very grueling for Christian. the therapist expect a lot from him and he doesn't get off too easy.

As time goes on, I guess we will have to think about where to put Christian for school. There is so much we have to think about for Christian. Never thought having a deaf child would entail so much.   

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The big day has finally come!

After spending so much time getting the baby's room ready, having all those baby showers, taking all those prenatal classes, our bundle of joy has finally arrived! We have a son! A handsome baby boy. I did well through the delivery. We named our bundle of joy Christian James.

Once I was placed in a room, the nurse came to speak to us. I assumed it was protocal, part of the after delivery process. Boy was I wrong. The nurse came to tell me & my husband that our baby boy did not pass the hearing test, that it looks like our baby may be profoundly deaf! I can't believe it! We can't believe it! I do have a family member that is deaf, but he's so far down the family tree that I never thought about it happening to my child.

The nurse says we have to see a someone in about 2 weeks to talk about the results and what our options may be.  Maybe when we go they will test our baby again and they will see the 1st test was wrong. We don't know how to care for a deaf child! There must be a mistake.

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The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be sen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.

Helen Keller