Caurie_Writes

[inanotherunivrse]

In another universe we found each other sophomore year and lived out the "other timeline". In another universe I could love you properly. In this universe, I'll choose the other option every time.

[inanotherunivrse]

In another universe, I change different and marry you in spring

[caurie-writes]

Don’t you understand that I’m tired of leaving? Don’t you understand that I’m tired of all the songs being about me and the stories of me leaving being ones that just tell the story of me being a villain for not being able to sacrifice another piece of me? Don’t you understand that I’m angry with God? Don’t you understand I didn’t choose any of this? Don’t you understand I can’t lie to you? Don’t you understand anything at all?

[caurie-writes]

I am apathetic to the point of exhaustion. I know I loved you at some point, but I'm not sure if I even can anymore. This is terrible. It will be terrible for you when I leave. I never asked to be a fag. I never asked for any of this at all.

[caurie-writes]

How do I look at this girl I love and stay around knowing that I’m going to kill her? That she’s going to kill me? How do I look at her knowing we will end in flames? How do I look at her knowing she’s the reason I started writing poetry again?

[caurie-writes]

Am I going to forget your face? Am I going to forget this moment? After everything I gave and took, am I going to remember this? After I leave, how long will it take me to let go? I’ve written this letter a hundred times over in my head. How can I find the words to say I love you, I miss you, I know this will never be the same, when you’re still here? How can I prepare for goodbye when I know I’m going to see you tomorrow? How can I know that I’m going to walk away when I know you’re the love of my life, when I know that I could spend forever with you? How can I stay knowing sin drips from our lips? How can I leave knowing you’re all I’ve ever wanted?